I decided to post this in family section because I know there are a lot of people with mature minds and experiences especially married folks.

I recently came across an old schoolmate in primary school whom I had a crush on then. I was such a good boy then so wasn't into all that. Few months ago, we started communicating. She is in another state working. Since then we have gotten so close.

She came down to the town I stay enroute her village and we spent a few days together. We realised we are in love with each other. When she left, I felt an emptiness and she too has been missing me.

I'm in my early 30's and ready for marriage. I will love to marry her but my only problem is that she is my age mate.

Please, is there any problem in getting married to your age mate?

Some people feel its not right because
1) She may not be loyal and submissive
2) By the time she drops two kids, she will look quite older than me

I haven't told her anything about marriage. Would want to clear some grounds first and then take some months to know her more before letting my intentions known fully well.

Please, what do you feel about this? I need mature advice on this. I'm at crossroads now and will appreciate your input.

Thanks

There's no issue settling down with your age-mate, other factors being constant.

Once you begin to go romantic on a lady, even if she's 10 years your junior, she don dey see you like age-mate.

If you love her, wife her.

There is noting bad on it, but wat is there is that u should not let her now ur really age, So she can give more respect to ur siblings.

Don't make that mistake. My reasons;
- She is more experienced than you are in every area
- She will look like your mother after giving birth.

lomaxx: There's no issue settling down with your age-mate, other factors being constant.

Once you begin to go romantic on a lady, even if she's 10 years your junior, she don dey see you like age-mate.

If you love her, wife her.

True. Thanks

Ennyhollar: There is noting bad on it, but wat is there is that u should not let her now ur really age, So she can give more respect to ur siblings.

I guess she is aware because we were classmates then in primary school.

ilibrarian:
- She will look like your mother after giving birth.

My fears

Marry a woman that you love and understand,she is just your age mate not older . A 20yrs old bride can look older than you if she doesn't have good genes.Some 35yrs old married women,look better than 22yrs old single virgins,don't forget that.

As a female. . . I HAVE NEVER MET ANY MALE MY AGE MATE THAT IS AS A DEVELOPMENTAL/COGNITIVE EQUAL.
They tend to act 10 or 20 YEARS IN THE DEFICIENCY column emotionally and spirtually-speaking. To put it directly. . . THEY ACT LIKE IJJJIOTS!

As I get older. . . THE GAP WIDENS. . . .
Sooooooooooooooooo I would have to say NO!
It would not work for me. I NEED A 10 YEAR GAP!!!! So, I CAN HAVE SOME TIME AND PATIENCE WITH HIS AZZZZZZZZZZZE THAT REFUSES TO GROW UP!!!

I need a man. . . not a boy!

SHE WILL OUTGROW YOU IN ABOUT 5 YEARS. . . .AND LOOK LIKE YOUR MOTHER IF SHE AGES LIKE MOST NIGERIAN OR NAIRALAND WOMEN!!!!

Age does not usually correlate with maturity. . . BUT IN MY DEALINGS WITH NIGERIAN MAN. . . .

THE BIGGER THE SHOE SIZE. . . THE SMALLER THE BRAIN!

OP. . . goodluck!

Destiny27:

My fears

What about developing a healthy and active lifestyle together? Instead of all this irritating fear mongering?

byvan: Marry a woman that you love and understand,she is just your age mate not older . A 20yrs old bride can look older than you if she doesn't have good genes.Some 35yrs old married women,look better than 22yrs old single virgins,don't forget that.

OK. Thanks

ileobatojo:

What about developing a healthy and active lifestyle together? Instead of all this irritating fear mongering?

OK but you can be more polite. Thanks

If u guys love urself, den y not. All d best man!

OP, I can't believe you are 30
Pls, don't marry this woman. Go for a younger girl. You still have growing up to do.

Destiny27:

OK but you can be more polite. Thanks

Yes, but it wasn't polite of you to say she will start to look like your mother after childbirth either.

You know Lola Omotayo is like 5yrs older than P Square and she don get pikin

Does she look like his mom?

Chillis: OP, I can't believe you are 30
Pls, don't marry this woman. Go for a younger girl. You still have growing up to do.

Still trying to get your point. Anyway thanks

dayokanu: You know Lola Omotayo is like 5yrs older than P Square and she don get pikin

Does she look like his mom?

Lol. I get. Thanks

i will appreciate more opinions.

kelly27: i will appreciate more opinions.

there's noting wrong 4 u guys 2 marry besides bn classmate doesnt means u're of same age. It also depends on stature, uwc a woman of 35yrs looks like 25yr

kelly27: i will appreciate more opinions.

Go ahead

@OP, It depends on her body structure. If she has a petite or smallish stature, then it'll never be obvious that she is older. If not, you may want to reconsider.

When it comes to this issue of LOVE, am kind of new, but atleast i can contribute for fellow 's benefit.

To fall for an age-mate, you must be the type of guy who apart from love and support, want nothing else from a partner. You don't expect a wife of your age to worship you or submit to you like a wife of ten years younger. Mutual respect for each other is the ideal requirement for both partners. Once you desire nothing more than love, commitment and appreciation from her and she is willing to deliver, you 'll be fine. Just endeavor to reciprocate too.

On the darker side, if you desire a malleable or submissive wife who will shut up and let you be the dictator like most traditional men, then stay away from her Mr. OP. It is clear you two are incompatible, as i believe only a lady who want a modern, tolerant and negotiating partner will marry her age-mate.

If a thread had to be opened to debate her age and 'marriageability'......(lol, if that's a word)
Then maybe you should just leave her for a real another man
A man who sees what he wants and goes for it


Love conquers all doesn't mean anything again
I think it should be 'age conquers all' or 'money conquers all' in Naija

It depends on the lady. Is she humble and polite? How does she talk to you? Does she listen to you? About looking older after childbirth, does she have a healthy lifestyle of working out and eating right? Does she wear neat clothes? Is her hair always untidy? Your answers to these will help you.

I would rather marry my mate as opposed to one 6 or more years older than me.

Personal choice.

ilibrarian: Don't make that mistake. My reasons;
- She is more experienced than you are in every area
- She will look like your mother after giving birth.

..sorry 2 say u are lieing.she will only get old if she's not taken good care of.@o.p.i think the final decision is yours.have seen couples that are sweet n the woman is older and 4 yourfears 'better soup na money kill am'take care of her and u will see changes

Shame what people consider priority criteria for something as important as marriage.

Compatibility? Unimportant
Love (or at least affection)? Don't care
Good behaviour (ehh...)
My agemate will not respect me as a MAN- MOST IMPORTANT!

Pity

Age does not breed respect. Age does not create or remove respect. Respect is EARNED. Have you earned her respect? Is she of good enough character to behave respectfully? These are the questions you should ask. If you think she will not respect you because you are age mates, I fear you do not behave in a way to earn her respect. Except of course she is a b!tch, then 20 years age difference will make no nevermind.

Age shouldn't be a factor!!

Age: 1, 2, 3...... 30+

Love: strong, stronger, strongest, stro......

Bros! Age is just a number (quantifiable), strong love tends to infinity (non quantifiable).

A study found that marrying your best friend eliminates the risk of divorce by over 70%. These marriages are more likely to last a lifetime.

Source: online

@Thread Maker, be careful with the kind of advice you receive here, as less attention is placed on other qualities that make a good relationship. People like preaching about how age is just a number and what matters is only love. Folks, love is just the starting point, there are other things to put into consideration. Does she even has your type of mindset towards this kind of relationship? I have a question for you - do you love her enough to stay with her after 25years with no child? You see, you are in the best position to decide if she suits your definition of a good wife.

My sis is currently married to someone she is older than with some days and they love and respect each other.am currently falling for someone that is few months older than me and I intend marrying her all things being equal. Matters most in relationship is understanding,love and care.you are going to live with her in ur house and not with people.