Re-Learning:

Greensboro. Have you been here before?

yes.....
i have been to greensboro. UNCG to be exact, back in the days.

dinachi:

@ bolded is very correct. The rest of the post also makes sense.

I don't appreciate you modifying my posts to prove your point.

You want to fight against a cause? do so with integrity

ileobatojo:

Excellent post.

This "OP's" problem has very little to do with feminism.

I have heard of women like the OP before feminism landed in Africa.

I know some who will still cringe at the thought of beong equal to a man but are worse than she is

bukatyne:

I have heard of women like the OP before feminism landed in Africa.

I know some who will still cringe at the thought of beong equal to a man but are worse than she is

Classic! They now attack OP because she dared to denounce feminism as impractical and injurious to marriage!

As per you post I corrected, was just trying to prove a point. No offense intended.

Re-Learning:


That's not what I'm saying at all. In my post you'll notice that I said I don't agree with the violence but what was different about the responses were the genuine response from those that have husbands that told the lady to pray about and USE HER FEMININITY to change the situation. I'm learning that you don't have to use your mouth, loud talking, head rolling, ways to correct the situation. Humility is not even a term used. We have just as much PRIDE AND EGO as a man. And again, I'm learning that you can't combat pride with pride. It only causes a pride war because he is now busy trying to keep his manhood.....and at the end of the day, the situation wasn't made better in the household....you just proved that to BIG EGOS can start tearing down the family.

Re-learning,

In your effort to correct your attitude towards men, please DO NOT SWING to the other rxtreme of being a doormat expect if you want to be praying for your husband while he is cheating on you.

Most posters give advice they cannot follow themselves; the very poster who tells a wife to wear red pant and black bra for a husband who just abused her will scream the wife wasfoolish to stay when he kills her.

Most advices especially from male posters are to subjugate and dominate the women. The way you claim women are in America is the way some men are in Nigeria. They do not believe in mutual respect. A good wife is one who keeps mute inspite of her husband's continual disrespect etc.

What ever you do, find a balance.

Goodluck

dinachi:
Classic! They now attack OP because she dared to denounce feminism as impractical and injurious to marriage!

As per you post I corrected, was just trying to prove a point. No offense intended.

you have nothing to prove....
even women know feminism is the root cause of broken homes. something has to give if the laws keep getting stretched to favour women. i can bring out stats but it would be a waste of cyberspace over-flogging what is obvious.


i can actually understand caucasians buying into this feminist movement, it's the africans that i pity cos they now have what i call an identity crisis. an african woman wants to be western & african at the same time. i keep asking them which is which?


seriously, i would support their feminist cause if african women abolish traditional wedding. western women don't ask their men to prostrate & spend millions of naira on a wedding. an african woman should not complain if i call her father by his first name instead of addressing him as sir, chief, igwe or whatnot. she should not complain if i don't attend or my only gift to her dad's 60th birthday is a £1 greeting card.


what's more?
an african woman must not throw temper tantrums or quote bible scriptures if i come back from work on a friday night & head to a strip club to stick pound notes in red satin panties. these are the little perks western men get to enjoy with their feminist western wives whilst african husbands get nothing. once the equation is balanced then i am up for feminism.

Re-Learning:

You're a blessing Dinachi

Nice try, dinachi...you can't fool everyone!

Re-Learning:
@darqchild. You comment is priceless. You can't be 20. Those words come from elder men over here (who spent years like me trying to learn). I haven't read books on the origin of the feminist movement, but I can say I grew up in it and it has turned the world upside down. It's like sweet candy....at first it tastes so good....then after too much your teeth are rotting out.

Question
Do you have sisters? If so, how did you mom teach her to follow what you wrote.
Have you been involved with a woman that did respect you and respect your role? How did she handle a situation when she felt,disrespected by you?....and how did you respond?

First off I really am 20. Well I guess I grew up around men who were really responsible and knew what they were and are still doing in life and a lovely mother too who though strong and independent has a humble and loving spirit. I have sisters and the first thing they learn is that a woman doesn't raise her voice to get her point across. No shouting or screaming. " Harsh words causes war and gentle words are as sweet as honey to the soul." That's somewhere in the Proverbs. They are taught to try and discuss there opinion in a respectable manner and if its not taken up they at least trust us the men to protect them. If any of my sisters happens to be a nag and a glorified bitch I have no business defending her when someone beats her up or worst. But being that I trust them and know what they are capable of just a tear drop from any of them is enough to send me into rage feats. I have been in a relationship where everything was smooth sailing and then she found out that she is 2 years older than me (though we both really didn't know until the day it came up accidentally) and decided that I didn't deserve to be the man in the relationship due to the age difference. I had to seat her down and talk things through with her. After a while she called and told me she wanted to break things up with me....Mind you I did love this said young lady. I asked her why she wanted to break things off with me (at least to learn from my mistake against any future relationship and be a better man) and she gave me the excuse that it was because she was older than me. I chuckled and maybe laughed out loud for about 2 minutes and asked her to have her way and do what ever she wanted. 2 weeks later she called back asking to get back together but I vehemently refused. I didn't even want to be "just friends" with her because human psychology has thought me that no matter what happens she will still have that notion and may relapse to her former attitude that led to the whole break up.
I have cases of the girls in my life feeling a bit disrespected or insulted by me and when they call me to it and I find out that I really insulted them I endeavor to apologize and make necessary amends but if I feel they are just trying to raise dust and get me rattled up I just ignore them and I won't apologize. But like I said you have to know what you really want in a relationship Dear.....don't just rush into a relationship out of desperation. There must be a connection, understanding and mutual respect in a relationship for it to last and finally....let the man be the man. And always...HUMILITY AND RESPECT.

DarqChild:

First off I really am 20. Well I guess I grew up around men who were really responsible and knew what they were and are still doing in life and a lovely mother too who though strong and independent has a humble and loving spirit. I have sisters and the first thing they learn is that a woman doesn't raise her voice to get her point across. No shouting or screaming. " Harsh words causes war and gentle words are as sweet as honey to the soul." That's somewhere in the Proverbs. They are taught to try and discuss there opinion in a respectable manner and if its not taken up they at least trust us the men to protect them. If any of my sisters happens to be a nag and a glorified bitch I have no business defending her when someone beats her up or worst. But being that I trust them and know what they are capable of just a tear drop from any of them is enough to send me into rage feats. I have been in a relationship where everything was smooth sailing and then she found out that she is 2 years older than me (though we both really didn't know until the day it came up accidentally) and decided that I didn't deserve to be the man in the relationship due to the age difference. I had to seat her down and talk things through with her. After a while she called and told me she wanted to break things up with me....Mind you I did love this said young lady. I asked her why she wanted to break things off with me (at least to learn from my mistake against any future relationship and be a better man) and she gave me the excuse that it was because she was older than me. I chuckled and maybe laughed out loud for about 2 minutes and asked her to have her way and do what ever she wanted. 2 weeks later she called back asking to get back together but I vehemently refused. I didn't even want to be "just friends" with her because human psychology has thought me that no matter what happens she will still have that notion and may relapse to her former attitude that led to the whole break up.
I have cases of the girls in my life feeling a bit disrespected or insulted by me and when they call me to it and I find out that I really insulted them I endeavor to apologize and make necessary amends but if I feel they are just trying to raise dust and get me rattled up I just ignore them and I won't apologize. But like I said you have to know what you really want in a relationship Dear.....don't just rush into a relationship out of desperation. There must be a connection, understanding and mutual respect in a relationship for it to last and finally....let the man be the man. And always...HUMILITY AND RESPECT.

THIS IS WHAT I CALL BALANCE!

@ Coogar, that is why I call most of the here fake feminists! They cannot stand the implementation of what they espouse.

dinachi: @ Coogar, that is why I call most of the here fake feminists! They cannot stand the implementation of what they espouse.

it's the internet......
anyone can claim to be anything. even the ones beaten & bruised on a daily basis by their male partners do come here to claim they rule their house. don't take what most people say here as the gospel truth.

We should not really blame some of these women. The internet acts as an avenue for them to escape from the harsh and violent reality of their marriages.
On the internet they are anonymous and can play the role they really desire in real life.
In reality they are actually women who have no say in their marriages but are scared to leave because they want to be Mrs Somebody...
Same women are on these boards every day acting the role of toughies when they are really mice.
They are entertaining sha.

coogar:

yes.....
i have been to greensboro. UNCG to be exact, back in the days.

Wow, I went to NC A&T State University

DarqChild:

First off I really am 20. Well I guess I grew up around men who were really responsible and knew what they were and are still doing in life and a lovely mother too who though strong and independent has a humble and loving spirit. I have sisters and the first thing they learn is that a woman doesn't raise her voice to get her point across. No shouting or screaming. " Harsh words causes war and gentle words are as sweet as honey to the soul." That's somewhere in the Proverbs. They are taught to try and discuss there opinion in a respectable manner and if its not taken up they at least trust us the men to protect them. If any of my sisters happens to be a nag and a glorified bitch I have no business defending her when someone beats her up or worst. But being that I trust them and know what they are capable of just a tear drop from any of them is enough to send me into rage feats. I have been in a relationship where everything was smooth sailing and then she found out that she is 2 years older than me (though we both really didn't know until the day it came up accidentally) and decided that I didn't deserve to be the man in the relationship due to the age difference. I had to seat her down and talk things through with her. After a while she called and told me she wanted to break things up with me....Mind you I did love this said young lady. I asked her why she wanted to break things off with me (at least to learn from my mistake against any future relationship and be a better man) and she gave me the excuse that it was because she was older than me. I chuckled and maybe laughed out loud for about 2 minutes and asked her to have her way and do what ever she wanted. 2 weeks later she called back asking to get back together but I vehemently refused. I didn't even want to be "just friends" with her because human psychology has thought me that no matter what happens she will still have that notion and may relapse to her former attitude that led to the whole break up.
I have cases of the girls in my life feeling a bit disrespected or insulted by me and when they call me to it and I find out that I really insulted them I endeavor to apologize and make necessary amends but if I feel they are just trying to raise dust and get me rattled up I just ignore them and I won't apologize. But like I said you have to know what you really want in a relationship Dear.....don't just rush into a relationship out of desperation. There must be a connection, understanding and mutual respect in a relationship for it to last and finally....let the man be the man. And always...HUMILITY AND RESPECT.

Your response is one of the best responses I've heard on this thread. Thank you so much for your input. Your parents did a wonderful job.

Re-Learning:


Your response is one of the best responses I've heard on this thread. Thank you so much for your input. Your parents did a wonderful job.

Thanks Dear and good luck.