lareine: Is it true that most guys don't like it when their women have more money than they do? This is my observation. I told my fiancé about my savings. Something cropped up which he had promised to help me with financially. Suddenly he declined. When I asked why he said I should use my savings. This is money I have saved for 2 years. He doesn't have any savings even though his salary is 6times mine. He made sure he helped me spend the money and was even asking for more just to be sure I had nothing left. I feel so bad, that he should be encouraging me to save. Besides. He wants to know when I'm paid salary and how much? How I spend money etc. I have decided not to let him know about my finances any more. Hope I'm doing the right thing?

lareine: Is it true that most guys don't like it when their women have more money than they do? This is my observation. I told my fiancé about my savings. Something cropped up which he had promised to help me with financially. Suddenly he declined. When I asked why he said I should use my savings. This is money I have saved for 2 years. He doesn't have any savings even though his salary is 6times mine. He made sure he helped me spend the money and was even asking for more just to be sure I had nothing left. I feel so bad, that he should be encouraging me to save. Besides. He wants to know when I'm paid salary and how much? How I spend money etc. I have decided not to let him know about my finances any more. Hope I'm doing the right thing?

bukatyne: @OP:

One of the qualities of a quality husband is one who help you to grow and such a quality is not developed overnight.

You did not state what you needed money for however, I expected you to use part of your savings for it.

Permit me not to disclose what the money was for, so he doesn't stumble on this and know its him.


Have you been asking him for money before he knew your savings or this is the first time?
He's known all the while. I don't hide anything from him.

Does he have a plan for your future? has he proposed marriage to you or are you just stringing yourself along with him?
Yes, he has proposed.

Did you confirm he has no savings/investments or is it just the word of his mouth?
I have confirmed. He just squanders his money. He's the fun loving type. Loves to party and wear expensive(good)things.
Please answer and we will take it from there

Stay calm

lareine: [/quote]

I can see your answers in my post

next time, just type after

bukatyne:

I can see your answers in my post

next time, just type after

Ask him why did not give you the money as promised, it would help you understand his view regarding money

As for the no saving part, when do you both plan to marry? Is there a house and other thingsin place?

If the spending is the only issue, it is your duty to encourage him on how to spend/save. Everyone is a rough diamond and that might be his own area of weakness. When he offers to buy stuffs that are not necessary or can wait, lovingly remind him that you have a home to build and there is till timefor future spoiling. You can also research about investments he can go into depending on his income.

Depending on the type of relationship you run, yoy can offer to shop for him (with the aim of getting quality things at cheaper rate). Find out the avenue he spends money and try to curtail it.

This is also an opportunity for you to discuss how finances will be run in your home and the model you will adopt.

Above all, ensure the issue is orted out before you wed.

Goodluck

lareine:

Thanks for the correction.

His reason for not assisting me was that he had things to do. He listed them out. However, he ended up not doing just one out of a list of 4 things. I know for sure he didn't want to assist and he wanted me to use my savings.

I have taken pains to ask him what business he would love to do. We've costed everything, but once he gets his salary, he always comes up with one story of lending his siblings money, which he promises to get back and then one story will come out. Either they paid back in bits he couldn't save or he ended up picking their wares for the money and most times at exhorbitant rates. I don't want to be involved in that one.

Thanks so far for your advice.

bukatyne: You are welcome

Is he the firstborn/son?Do they have a closely knit family? Did they pull resources together to train him?

As for reason for not assisting you, takehis word for it and don't assume till proven otherwise

Have you both started planning your home?

lareine:
He doesn't have any savings even though his salary is 6times mine.

richyblink1: It's rather awkward you telling the world that your husband to be does not have any penny saved in his name.

eagle,eye:

I equally don't have savings, but I have some assets that earns money for me and a business to support my little earning...... does that make me a irresponsible man?

ireneidiva:
yes!

lareine:

Yes, his family is a closely knit one.
No they didn't pull resources to train him, his parents did. But yes, they've been there for him otherwise.
Planning our home, yes!

bluuu: ^^ exactly my tot.y would he make sure he finishes ur savings.looks lik he doesnt want u being financially independent so as not to feel u r a 'challenge' to him which implies domineering. evaluate ur relatiinship if he s bossy or not

divinelove: Op ur man is a financial illiterate, he needs to b educated abt hw money works.
Since u ve some financial discipline, given ur saving culture, then teach him some.its shockin to kw he has no savin culture. Besides saving u guys shld also think abt investin too