dayokanu:

Basically you are in a Polygamous marriage.

You cant demand 100% attention from your husband when he has other wives. Or what do you expect the other wife to do?

he needs separate room for each wife or do you want him to put you all in one room?

Good questions. Precisely why it's superstory. Not making sense anymore.

shoerack6: The most painful part is when it comes to begging. I can stand for 1 hour begging him.
Just how many days ago, he was angry that my aunty's husband called me.
He's so jealous and practically controls my life. If not that I already have kids, I would have asked him to divorce me.
He has another wife (i'm the first) so whenever he's not talking to me, he'll just face the other wife and abandon me. This breaks me down.

I knew there had to be more to that story. The truth is that in polygamy, the woman needs the man more than the man needs the woman. You are just one of his wives and the sad truth is that he probably feels he is doing you a favour by being your husband since he has a new sweet sixteen. Poster, you are in a difficult situation and your options are limited.

shoerack6: The most painful part is when it comes to begging. I can stand for 1 hour begging him.
Just how many days ago, he was angry that my aunty's husband called me.
He's so jealous and practically controls my life. If not that I already have kids, I would have asked him to divorce me.
He has another wife (i'm the first) so whenever he's not talking to me, he'll just face the other wife and abandon me. This breaks me down.

so you mean you, your hubby and the second wife lives in the same apartment?
Wow!
Are you financially independent, if yes, please, face your carrer now, if now, get something doing that will relieve you depending on him, this is very important, he might be treating you like trash if he knows you can't do anything, especially financial without him, when the shealt is removed from his eyes, he will come back.

For the main time, focus on yourself and your kids, "aja elyi ti sonu na, boya lo le gbo fere olode mo"
May God help you.

shoerack6: The most painful part is when it comes to begging. I can stand for 1 hour begging him.
Just how many days ago, he was angry that my aunty's husband called me.
He's so jealous and practically controls my life. If not that I already have kids, I would have asked him to divorce me.
He has another wife (i'm the first) so whenever he's not talking to me, he'll just face the other wife and abandon me. This breaks me down.

yo serious,hun you married a baby with 2 babies as offsprings

Polygamous family!
A very dreaful place to find oneself!

Ooooooh,its a polygamous marriage? sorry i withdraw my advice....No comment.

Your differences are irreconcilable, file for divorce!

Goldenboy007: Ooooooh,its a polygamous marriage? sorry i withdraw my advice....No comment.

ileobatojo:

More twists and turns?

Superstory tinz.

This is not super story pls. How I wish it was.

@, thanks so much for your advice. He refused me working. It was just of recent he allowed me get a shop to start business.

shoerack6:
This is not super story pls. How I wish it was.

@op, you've not answered me, are you financially independent? If yes, please, focus on yourself and your kids for now, if no, let us know, you might someone here who can help you find one, so that you can keep soul and body together.

dayokanu:

Basically you are in a Polygamous marriage.

You cant demand 100% attention from your husband when he has other wives. Or what do you expect the other wife to do?

he needs separate room for each wife or do you want him to put you all in one room?

Of course i'm not demanding 100% attention

greatgod2012:


@op, you've not answered me, are you financially independent? If yes, please, focus on yourself and your kids for now, if no, let us know, you might someone here who can help you find one, so that you can keep soul and body together.

I already answered. I actually graduated last two years but he refused from going to serve.

shoerack6: @, thanks so much for your advice. He refused me working. It was just of recent he allowed me get a shop to start business.

ok, just seeing this, expect my mail.
Please pull yourself together , this is not unexpected in a polygamous setting.

Was he like this before he married his 2nd wife, or he started behaving like this when he was about to?

greatgod2012:


ok, just seeing this, expect my mail.
Please pull yourself together , this is not unexpected in a polygamous setting.

Was he like this before he married his 2nd wife, or he started behaving like this when he was about to?

Yes. He has always being like that. Even the second wife is not left out.

shoerack6: Hello house,

Whenever I have disagreement with hubby, he'll decide not to talk to me. He won't eat my food and also will not sleep on the same bed with me. I'll have to beg and beg before he finally decides to talk to me.
I'm so sick and tired of his attitude. I tried discussing with him that we should look for a better way to resolve issues but he said he doesn't want to discuss anything with me.
We are presently not talking and have promised myself that this year, no more begging and begging. Have apologised to him like thrice since yesterday, i've sent him messages apologising even though I know that i've done nothing wrong.
Now i'm always in my room because even when I go to where he is, he'll stand up and leave d place.
This is killing me inside. Don't know what to do.
Pls mature advice only.

You must have done something bad to this gentleman. Giving half baked information like this can not solve your problem. You need to apologise for any wrong you must have done to him. I know surely you must done something bad if not how can he just decide not to talk to u. I advice you better change your attitude especially if u the nagging type or the type that compare and contrast your hobby with other men or the type that always complain .goodluck to u

shoerack6:
I already answered. I actually graduated last two years but he refused from going to serve.

you see, the first and major instrument in the hand of a potential abuser is financial dependency. Once they achieve that, the victim becomes helpless and left choiceless.

Once again, for the main time, concentrate on yourself, your kids and your business. Then, keep on praying.
It is well.

Goldenboy007: Ooooooh,its a polygamous marriage? sorry i withdraw my advice....No comment.

Same here. Op you just NL today to share this Super story. This is the reason why people with candid posts don't get good advices anymore.

SMH

Mtcheeeww

@, thanks so much. God bless you.

NL never ceases to disappoint.

Happy new year

Goldenboy007: What do women want exactly? You fight man

He screams at you - Na wahala, He is evil and a bully.
He keeps quiet - Na wahala, He's insensitive and keeps malice.
He stands and look when you abuse him mercilessly- He is mumu and coward, not man enough for you!
He returns your abuse with a stinging slap - Devilish and evil, divorce a potential wife killer.

So it is easier for you to make a resolution not to beg him again rather than to make a resolution not to offend him again?

Take note of this, men have different ways of resolving issues within themselves, whether you beg him or not he needs that time to resolve the issue within himself before he can resolve with you. Men are generally analyst, they need to analyze the impact of that your so called "simple offence" before they can move on, some do it in shorter time and some take longer. Some of you women would intentional repeat a behavior you have been corrected about thinking what it takes is just to say "sorry" and you would now complain he is not accepting your apologies. You can go ahead to stop begging him, when that time comes you would discover that it was easier to beg than to hold a 40 days fasting and prayer in Shiloh or RCCG camp for a failing marriage.

Bantino:

Same here. Op you just NL today to share this Super story. This is the reason why people with candid posts don't get good advices anymore.

SMH

Mtcheeeww

What makes you feel this is superstory?
All what have said here is real and happening to me.
No need trying to prove if this is super story or not. I'll only pick the good advice and move on.

shoerack6: The most painful part is when it comes to begging. I can stand for 1 hour begging him.
Just how many days ago, he was angry that my aunty's husband called me.
He's so jealous and practically controls my life. If not that I already have kids, I would have asked him to divorce me.
He has another wife (i'm the first) so whenever he's not talking to me, he'll just face the other wife and abandon me. This breaks me down.

tory don change lane ni... i smell fp tins

greatgod2012:


ok, just seeing this, expect my mail.
Please pull yourself together , this is not unexpected in a polygamous setting.

Was he like this before he married his 2nd wife, or he started behaving like this when he was about to?

GreatGod12, you are one of the few posters on this family forum I genuinely admire. Your posts are mature, objective and devoid of any gender bias. You have a kind heart and you are always willing to help. Please keep it up.

Polygamy sucks!
I don't even know where to start.
Most of them fellas feel they r doing ladies great favour hence d demigod attitude.
Madam, u don't hv to wait for his approval b4 u make urself responsible.
Were u a student b4 he married u or u started school in his house?
R u guys muslim?
Cos if u r, me I no no wetin to tell ya.

ypepe: Polygamy sucks!
I don't even know where to start.
Most of them fellas feel they r doing ladies great favour hence d demigod attitude.
Madam, u don't hv to wait for his approval b4 u make urself responsible.
Were u a student b4 he married u or u started school in his house?
R u guys muslim?
Cos if u r, me I no no wetin to tell ya.

No. I started schooling when we got married. Yes we are muslims.

Nashville:

GreatGod12, you are one of the few posters on this family forum I genuinely admire. Your posts are mature, objective and devoid of any gender bias. You have a kind heart and you are always willing to help. Please keep it up.

thank you sir for the compliment, my believe is that we can only be useful to ourselves when we are still alive, you know, one would only be remembered for two things in life...................problem created and problems solved.
@op, it is well, even if you're muslims, that doesn't mean you should be treated like trash, the only way you can free yourself is by financial empowerment.

shoerack6: The most painful part is when it comes to begging. I can stand for 1 hour begging him.
Just how many days ago, he was angry that my aunty's husband called me.
He's so jealous and practically controls my life. If not that I already have kids, I would have asked him to divorce me.
He has another wife (i'm the first) so whenever he's not talking to me, he'll just face the other wife and abandon me. This breaks me down.

I had an epistle composed until I saw this your post saying he has another wife! then I realised this is a delicate one. He has another wife(probably a younger woman than you), ignoring him will not work. He has another woman he can talk to, make love to, eat with... You have no special influence or power to achieve the result you desire, therefore you need to avoid those things he doesn't want you to do. Obe ti baale ile kii je, iyale ile kii see.

However, do not let his attitude get to you. He gives you money right? Dress well, seduce him without coming on too strong. Enjoy yourself the best way you can. A man that has another wife has divided attention; don't expect too much from him!

Alikaxon: He stoped talking to you bcox of a disagreement. You don't expect him to nag with you, instead, silence is the best answer. I LIKE THIS STRATEGY, [b]it kills women.

And marriages too

auntytee: And marriages too

Do you think shouting matches and open confrontations help marriages either

shoerack6:
No. I started schooling when we got married. Yes we are muslims.

He should have set another apartment for the other wife. Two wives living under same roof na wahala only if both wives understand themselves like sisters.

But the part where your hubby said you shouldn't speak your language is unfair and not even Islamic, your husband doesn't have the right to ban you from your own language maybe there is more to this your disagreement.

Since u r married into religion that supports and promotes polygamy, there is not much to do than to lessen ur dependence on him thru financial security.

Note that its possible that was d way he was brought up and might c nothing wrong with his action.
Get ur elders to talk to him. U and d second wife can actually lay ur complaint to d appropriate pple.

U r still very much dependent on him so thread very carefully.

I really feel for u. At times u don't blame women for fighting for equality.
These things can drive one crazy, I tell ya.
Best of luck.