shoerack6:
I don't even want to explain what happened cos if I do, u people will help me insult him.
Ok, let me explain. Hubby is a tribalist. He said he doesn't like me speaking this particular language and that's the language I use when communicating with my family.
So yesterday, my aunty called. I tried as much as possible not to speak this language so was just answering her hun, ehn ehn but at the same time I don't want him to think i'm talking with someone I don't want him to know, so I decided to ask after her son in the language. That's where the trouble started oo.
I'm so sick and tired of all this. When I tried begging, he asked me to leave his presence and that was when I asked him if he was trying to frustrate me. He now said these days that my mouth is becoming too sharp and even threatened to slap me.

shoerack6: Hello house,

Whenever I have disagreement with hubby, he'll decide not to talk to me. He won't eat my food and also will not sleep on the same bed with me. I'll have to beg and beg before he finally decides to talk to me.
I'm so sick and tired of his attitude. I tried discussing with him that we should look for a better way to resolve issues but he said he doesn't want to discuss anything with me.
We are presently not talking and have promised myself that this year, no more begging and begging. Have apologised to him like thrice since yesterday, i've sent him messages apologising even though I know that i've done nothing wrong.
Now i'm always in my room because even when I go to where he is, he'll stand up and leave d place.
This is killing me inside. Don't know what to do.
Pls mature advice only.
Mod pls I don't want this thread on front page.

Sagamite:

If you have not done nothing wrong and your husband is refusing to talk to you, then you are married to a mad man.

If that is the case, I will suggest you get out of the marriage ASAP.

But I am sure that it not the case, so you better re-evaluate yourself more objectively.

With that attitude of "I have not done anything wrong", yet someone is pissed enough not to want to talk to you, then I think I don't blame the guy not wanting to talk to you and just ignoring you.

qtx:
Are you sure you are married? get out of which marriage ASAP?
From this your comment it shows you are far from being married. i dont blame you. e easy?

haryourbarmeah: It is only an immature man that does not eat his wife's food when he is angry with her.You can be angry with ur wife but never stay angry for a long time,it breaks ur marriage.Just pray to God to touch his heart and if there is anybody he respects and looks up to e.g your pastor,you can tell him about it and he can talk to your husband about it.

shoerack6: Hello house,

Whenever I have disagreement with hubby, he'll decide not to talk to me. He won't eat my food and also will not sleep on the same bed with me. I'll have to beg and beg before he finally decides to talk to me.
I'm so sick and tired of his attitude. I tried discussing with him that we should look for a better way to resolve issues but he said he doesn't want to discuss anything with me.
We are presently not talking and have promised myself that this year, no more begging and begging. Have apologised to him like thrice since yesterday, i've sent him messages apologising even though I know that i've done nothing wrong.
Now i'm always in my room because even when I go to where he is, he'll stand up and leave d place.
This is killing me inside. Don't know what to do.
Pls mature advice only.
Mod pls I don't want this thread on front page.

shoerack6:
The most annoying thing is that he understands this dialect, but can't speak well.

shoerack6: The most painful part is when it comes to begging. I can stand for 1 hour begging him.
Just how many days ago, he was angry that my aunty's husband called me.
He's so jealous and practically controls my life. If not that I already have kids, I would have asked him to divorce me.
He has another wife (i'm the first) so whenever he's not talking to me, he'll just face the other wife and abandon me. This breaks me down.

Mynd_44: Childish husband. He drops money for food and refuses to eat. Smh

shoerack6: It's today I know we have useless moderators. Even when you give them instructions, they don't adhere to it.

uzornoble: @poster, pls never get tired of begging if u are still interested in ur marriage. That u are always begging even when u are not wrong does not mean u are a fool but simply because u value ur love more than ur ego. pls try and amend on all the things that always pissess him off and improve on ur attitude. For me i will prefer a man who refuses to talk to me when he is angry to a man who will roar and hits me at every slight provocation. Just try and make a change and then try to change him........pls be prayerful.

uzornoble: @poster, pls never get tired of begging if u are still interested in ur marriage. That u are always begging even when u are not wrong does not mean u are a fool but simply because u value ur love more than ur ego. pls try and amend on all the things that always pissess him off and improve on ur attitude. For me i will prefer a man who refuses to talk to me when he is angry to a man who will roar and hits me at every slight provocation. Just try and make a change and then try to change him........pls be prayerful.

Bantino: If you offend him, ensure that you appologise accordingly. If the cause of your misunderstanding is not your fault, ignore him for a while, ensure you prepare his food even when he refuses to eat.

If you guys don't have kids yet, wear some skimpy cloths at home, and try so many ways of seducing him without talking to him.

Walk out of the bathroom unclad most times, he may behave as if he's not noticing your moves, just continue. To break him, at night, just pretend to feel cold and tell him to hold you, beleive me, he will gladly hold you and from there one thing leads to another.

When you guys are done making love then you can have a 'brief discussion' with him concerning his attitude, Bleep him after the discussion then sleep off. If you get it right, he will change with time and learn how to talk issues over.

shoerack6:
Thanks for your advice but the thing is we have separate room but when it's time to sleep he comes to my room. So practically, when he's angry, he'll decide to sleep in his room.
Yes I have two kids. I've stopped cooking for him whenever is angry cos if I see d food there on the table, I get more heart broken.

ileobatojo:

More twists and turns?

Superstory tinz.

Mynd_44: Childish husband. He drops money for food and refuses to eat. Smh

shoerack6:
Lol at additives. But when will all these stop. I'm actually tired but don't want to leave because of my kids.

Mr Aboki:

Argh!! This is serious o!!

I used to do same to my wife (the not talking part only, but not the walking away or not eating) but she would just ignore me and continue to play with me like nothing happened and now I cant seem to do it anymore.

I really don't know what advice to give you..

Please just keep at it. No begging.. Just treat him like a grown up baby. That's what my wife used to cure me. Cook him a nice meal and keep working at peace from a light angle. That is a really bad habit that he needs to grow out of.

I thank God that I have stopped that kind of foolishness.

Baby mama:

That was your first post
I was about to respond and offer my advice until you hit me with this


U
Then I am thinking,there is still some hope here
When I read




And just before I was fully recovered from the first posts you said this



And also



And then about your co wife you said


Then back to the situation you said



Then as I was getting a good grasp of the situation I said hmm
A Muslim woman with two kids for a tribalist polygamist who controls her every move including her associations with family members on the phone.
A man who gets angry ,with violent tendencies and doesn't care reconciling since there is a spare wife around
A man she knows in her heart she ought to leave
what did this wife say


Maybe I don't know the definition of good
Everything you described here is far from good my dear
Read the highlights
You better wake up
This time next year there could be two other wives
If you think it is hot now,wait till then
There is no advice anyone can give you regarding being happy in a polygamous home
You can never be happy married to a man that you will be lying in bed and hearing moans from your fellow woman across the hallway
No woman born of a woman would tell me she enjoys that
There is no incentive whatsoever for this man to be good to you
He doesn't miss you when you have a disagreement
There is a readily available alternative right under your roof
If he doesn't eat your food,he will eat hers
If both of you are in the dog house,he goes outside to the potential 3rd wife
A polygamous man can never be committed to you and can never be faithful
You can't demand or have all of him,bits of him are everywhere,
The mere fact that he couldn't stick with you as his one and only speaks of his unfaithfulness and lack of commitment
He is allowed to play you all,if he couldn't he will stick with you and work things out with you.
You have two and half options

1. Either stay and collect the little attention he gives you and spend 12 hours of your day begging for love like an Almajiri begging for alms

Or

2. You insist that you want to find you a proper job starting with going for NYSC

Or

2.5 get you a little "undercover lover" to "tidy sequences" when he is doing inyanga ( this is me speaking without the Holy Spirit)

No 2 advice is because ,when or if he meets your demand and divorces you ,he may also repossess the so called business he opened for you
So whatever you have with his name on it,is still his including the roof over your head.
He will keep the children and they will become boi boi for the other wives or you get custody but no money to take care of you or them. Islam may permit polygamy,it doesn't mandate polygamy so any man that tells you he is doing it because Islam permits him is using it as a cop out for his infidelity.

shoerack6:
I don't even want to explain what happened cos if I do, u people will help me insult him.
Ok, let me explain. Hubby is a tribalist. He said he doesn't like me speaking this particular language and that's the language I use when communicating with my family.
So yesterday, my aunty called. I tried as much as possible not to speak this language so was just answering her hun, ehn ehn but at the same time I don't want him to think i'm talking with someone I don't want him to know, so I decided to ask after her son in the language. That's where the trouble started oo.
I'm so sick and tired of all this. When I tried begging, he asked me to leave his presence and that was when I asked him if he was trying to frustrate me. He now said these days that my mouth is becoming too sharp and even threatened to slap me.