Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,148,414 members, 7,800,866 topics. Date: Thursday, 18 April 2024 at 08:12 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Boys Night Out Discussions (302065 Views)
I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism / Girls night out discussions / 11-yr-Old Girl Gets Pregnant For Five Boys (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) ... (91) (92) (93) (94) (95) (96) (97) ... (182) (Reply) (Go Down)
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by pickabeau1: 8:30pm On Jul 27, 2015 |
This 50-50 again Women and their unending quest for parity in all 1 Like |
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by edwife(f): 8:42pm On Jul 27, 2015 |
pickabeau1: Well i can ask for 50-50 doesn't mean that i can't let you make most of the decisions... ,there won't be any need for me to even hang on it if i know my man is wise and intelligent. |
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by pickabeau1: 8:45pm On Jul 27, 2015 |
edwife: The if again Why marry someone thatis unwise and unintelligent Why marry someone unfit to make decisions Says more about the woman |
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by edwife(f): 8:47pm On Jul 27, 2015 |
pickabeau1: Well for me it's not an option,brain is all i am keen on. For some,they had no choice-many uncontrollable factors can drive them to such.... |
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by pickabeau1: 8:53pm On Jul 27, 2015 |
edwife: Then it comes back to the question Which philosophy do you uphold Once married you are in.. you have accepted to make that man your head and trust in his decisions and yes for him to consult with you! You cant back out saying he is not worth it then disrespect him sikena! |
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by edwife(f): 8:56pm On Jul 27, 2015 |
pickabeau1: I go with your philosophy,but i ain't just talking about me.What about many of my sisters who don't believe in headship? However picka,there are some men who acknowledge the fact that they have smart women and let them make most of the decisions. |
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by pickabeau1: 9:01pm On Jul 27, 2015 |
edwife: The bolded is the issue I pity the dolt who marries such women. It is better to live on the rooftop alone than with such contentions heifers I wish such men the best |
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by edwife(f): 9:05pm On Jul 27, 2015 |
pickabeau1: Lol |
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by Nobody: 10:05pm On Jul 27, 2015 |
When I grow up,am going to partner with some nigerians and create a reality tv show that going to focus mainly on africa and nigeria way of marriage life..and the tv show is gonna be in USA..they need re orientation they need change... 2 Likes |
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by Nobody: 8:18am On Jul 28, 2015 |
Edwife when did you become like this . .. . Bro Bellong and coach Tv01 have been teaching you how to write epistles abi I am confused though, cos both you and Tv01 both have good points. I was reading his points and nodding and then read yours and nodded You know what, after all the discussions and many many posts ive read here on the family section, Ive finally come to realise that maybe theory doesnt work in marriage. Its the practice gan gan and the individuals themselves that make or break it. . . .and it takes both parties. One person cant do it all. I dont know the least percentage that each contributor needs to input for there to be a decent balance, but I am certain that both must put in a considerable amount. One person cant keep on doing and the other receiving all the time. Now to the age thing and the looking up to & automatic respect thing. You are right in theory. My husband is 6 years older than me. So before anything as a girl brought up to respect my elders, he has already got my respect there and then and I do respect him. But if he was an agbaya then that respect will dwindle. So its not age alone. He too has to act his age and show that he is worthy of that respect. . .and this is the point where some people lose it. Fortunately my husband earns that respect in every area. I see a man who is looked up to by people around him and a man who makes sound descsions. He takes full responsibility for us and puts us all first before he even considers himself. In Nigeria he will insist on jumping cab if I need to go out with the car. If we eat together he insists on leaving the better meat for me. . .like im a kid LOL. Oya bring your passport, let me hold it A man who when 2 people are fighting he easily douses the flames. Very intelligent man too. Ive seem him tackle very difficult situations and he has a way with words where he will tell you how he feels about something without insulting you but you will know that you have goofed. Yet today you see older men who dont have brains, so the age difference makes no meaning & so they are not respected. One was at a party telling another man who was with his wife to come and spend weeked with him jooor so they can paint the town red. "Just tell your wife you are going on a weekend course" . . .both wives were sitting beside them o!. Does he have brains? How can the wife respect a man like that You hear stories of men having dirty conversations with other women on their phones and their wives catch them. How can these men be respected by their wives even if there was a 10 year age gap? Sex . . .Bro TV you are wrong o! . . .talks from experience The older you get the more you enjoy it Maybe becssue one is more relaxed and comfortable in the relationship. .I dont know Maybe its knowing that no kids will just walk through the door Maybe its knowing that if you do get pregnant its not the end of the world Maybe its knowing that you have solid contraception Lots of maybes LOL 1 Like |
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by RoyalRoy(m): 9:02am On Jul 28, 2015 |
TV01: This is very practical. Working for me now!!! #TeamGoYoungStayHappy. |
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by bukatyne(f): 9:33am On Jul 28, 2015 |
pickabeau1: It is a fallacy to think because everyone doesn't go your way, they are doomed Some men with wives who 'believe' in headship are also doomed too Anyways, this is NL |
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by bukatyne(f): 9:43am On Jul 28, 2015 |
tearoses: @Bold: On point Heard the older women thingy too. |
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by pickabeau1: 9:47am On Jul 28, 2015 |
bukatyne: k |
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by coogar: 10:52am On Jul 28, 2015 |
edwife: so which is which? to marry an old woman or to marry a young one? |
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by TV01(m): 11:37am On Jul 28, 2015 |
RoyalRoy:Good to hear dude! coogar: Please marry old and report back to us . I’ve said my own – and just too be clear, I’m not saying that every man at any age should marry a young girl, I am saying – generally – alignment will be better if the woman is relatively younger. One can factor for outliers and unusual situations – and every relationship is bespoke – but it’s a good rule of thumb. Not far from the “half your age +7 years” rule, which has been around forever. As for the sex piece in particular, from what I’ve seen and heard, I know the “women reach their peak at 40 is a myth. It makes no sense. Are women really telling us that their desire increases as they age, after they have children, as their bodies lose their vigour and as menopause kicks in are more active than in their youth? Yes, I admit that in certain circumstances sex may still be thoroughly enjoyable, but it will not be desired as much or as frenetic as previous. And for many the worries of work, childcare, bills etc. occupy them so much - with little time for exercise, healthy living etc. – that libido takes a hike. And yes this affects, men and women, but women have more of the earlier mentioned physical issues to deal with. Testosterone is a thing, the “drive differentials” are real. It’s more an “impulse” with men and more an “emotional connection” with women. Men, tread carefully and choose wisely. Paint two scenarios in your head; a 35 man marrying a 25 year old, or a 35 man marrying a 34 year old. How do you think that will play out, what pressures will come to bear? TV |
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by Nobody: 11:44am On Jul 28, 2015 |
Tearoses, the meat of your post is this 'theory does not work in marriage, it is the practice gan gan'.....I believe there is a type for each person. Marry your type and as long as you both remain committed you should have a good marriage. The rest na turenchi...... 2 Likes |
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by TV01(m): 11:46am On Jul 28, 2015 |
tearoses:Let me go and read the Edwife post again, then comment, I thought it was about not writing off girls with "pasts" tearoses:Enjoy it more? - possibly, depending on how you look at it. Do it more - unlikely. And enjoying it more depends on those relaxing factors being present. Plus the woman maintaining "condition" (not losing her physical shape or sexual drive), whilst not being caught up or preferring other disractions/pursuits. I don't see many pulling that off. Lot's of maybe' true true. TV |
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by edwife(f): 12:13pm On Jul 28, 2015 |
naijababe: tearoses: It is the holidays ....stress free. Well to each their own what works for A will not necessarily works for B.Otherwise we wouldn't have so many stories that touch here and there. Mr Peter Ayodele, another lawyer, said that some men and women did not understand that love was the primary basis for workable marriage. So older men looking for younger women,make sure you work hard and keep that status intact!Not only that,make sure you also give adequate attention while working hard ,otherwise miss young will get it somewhere else.Remember her sexual desires are high so keep it up to avoid sharing paternity with Peter or Tunde the young neighbour. Leave stories we read here and there,i come from a big family and 90% of my family members are males....You can count females in my home.I have witnessed,see and lived many cases. @coogar marry who you want to marry,no rules will ever save you if you don't meet your match. |
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by Kimoni: 12:14pm On Jul 28, 2015 |
TV!!!!!!!! So what is the summary of your message lekunrere?? Our matured singles should remain single forever ba?? DiarrissGodoooo. Remember that wine gets better with age o Coogar, marry a matured single and you will testify |
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by TV01(m): 12:26pm On Jul 28, 2015 |
Kimoni:I am dutybound to advise men as best I can. On the whole, they will do best marrying between 30 - 40 and choosing women relatively younger; no strict number but say 7-12 years younger - factoring any other relevent consideration. I suggest you advise singles before they become mature. Just as I advise men to optimise their chances of marital happiness. As for wine? I am not a winebibber ! What would you counsel your own brother? TV |
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by Nobody: 12:31pm On Jul 28, 2015 |
Edwife, please give a sister a hug. I also grew up in a household with a larger proportion of males. Mehn, the things these my young eyes have seen eh! There is this Yoruba adage that used annoy me when I was much younger but which getting somewhat older has now been proven to be true that goes this.......' No man can match the guile of a woman'......I used to think it was sexist choi, now I know better. |
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by freecocoa(f): 12:37pm On Jul 28, 2015 |
Hmm oga TV this your theory sha. |
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by edwife(f): 12:39pm On Jul 28, 2015 |
naijababe: **hugs** I learned a lot from my brothers and male relatives and to top it all my friends were males,i have seen so much that i was scared that i might meet a man who thinks i know too much. We pay more bride price than we receive and everytime a girl is getting married in my family,we make it huge!All my uncles,cousins get involved. My blood brother was deceived by a lady,she was 26 when we paid her bride price-we were preparing for marriage when we discovered that she had an 11 years old son somewhere leaving with his father. She didn't look the part,nothing on her could tell you that she had a child. But some were not too lucky as they live with such women. |
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by TV01(m): 12:47pm On Jul 28, 2015 |
Men, I have stated my piece on this. And short of being challenged or asked a pertinent question I’ll leave it for now. But map the scenarios for yourselves. Talk to other men out there about their experiences – and if at all possible share yours here. Don’t fall for scaremongering tactics about not being able to keep up with younger wives, or suggestions they’ll sleep around. The male sex drive is higher and lasts for longer. Men can stay in shape more easily and for longer. And men do not undergo the physical rigours women do. By all means choose a “matured single” or someone your age, if you so desire, but know what comes with it. Always set your own standards, have a plan and expectations. That will at least reduce your chances of being disappointed with a situation you didn’t prepare for. TV 3 Likes |
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by bellong: 12:49pm On Jul 28, 2015 |
edwife: Your brother, like many others including female, didn't do his proper background check and digging. If he had done it, he would have uncovered what was closely hidden. |
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by edwife(f): 12:53pm On Jul 28, 2015 |
bellong: He did,trust me.They dated for 2 years-the girl was good and her family was super good.They had it all covered.God was just on our side. Bellong just like many men today are not fathers to their first children.It is a complicated world out there,we live by grace and those of us who have it good,need to be grateful. 1 Like |
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by Nobody: 1:00pm On Jul 28, 2015 |
Bellong, how could he have found out especially if her family are in cahoots with her ? |
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by bellong: 1:00pm On Jul 28, 2015 |
edwife: I understand the part of grace but many do fail in what they should do. As Christians, approaching the issue of marriage require both spiritual sensitivity and being street smart. I knew every detail about my wife before I even approach her. People are very thorough about stuffs that are temporary but when it comes to the institution that can mar or break their destinies, they handle it with levity. The world is complicated but God in His infinite mercies doesn't leave us clueless. It is why you guys found out before entering one chance. The girl acted stupidly, your brother could have gone ahead with her had it been she was truthful from the beginning. At least, some people here advocated keeping such secret from potential spouse because what is in the past should stay in the past. |
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by Nobody: 1:03pm On Jul 28, 2015 |
This TV sef So you are calling 24-25 young!!! When girls finish Uni at 21 these days 4 years of working Some 25 year olds have already bought their first houses and have had heaps of lovers, heartbreaks and emotional baggage by then. I even thought you were referring to 19 year olds. You are calling 25 young in this jet age! Haaaaaaa!!!! Buky, Edwife & NBbabe, You are all right Ladies. Everyone for themselves jare in this marriage thingy. A & B can have very different requirments. Just make sure you pick and marry the correct piece that fits your own jigsaw & you too are the missing piece of your partners jigsaw. I’ve have seen plenty with my koro koro eye I’ve seen where hubby and wifey have affairs and bring home one pikin each and they got back together again. One mans meat is another mans poison. So long as one gives the right one meat and the right one poison 3 Likes |
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by edwife(f): 1:06pm On Jul 28, 2015 |
Brother Tv01 i have always been one of your fan(yes believe it) but i just had to table all the cards out there,not to scare or discourage anyone but to open their minds to unseen or unknown expectations. It is thought out there,no one can deny that-in my church alone RCCG we have so many cases that you keep wondering everytime you hear a story,what happened?what went wrong? It is well. |
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by bellong: 1:06pm On Jul 28, 2015 |
naijababe: bellong: Street smart is adopting basic investigation techniques in background check. Stroll to her area, talent spot people you believe can have info about her (be careful with the info given). Try to get to know her university colleagues if you could go through the stress. Ask question in a place of work, etc... These are the things I did coupled with what I got divinely. How do you expect to get info from her parents? It is not even advisable asking for their opinions as they naturally will create a good picture of their daughter. |
(1) (2) (3) ... (91) (92) (93) (94) (95) (96) (97) ... (182) (Reply)
My Madam And Me / Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) / The Family Section Fun Room!!
Viewing this topic: 1 guest(s)
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 103 |