immortalvoices: Sorry sir for the domestic marital problem...

Op the truth is dat she is seriously tired of the marriage, and she is using the wild behaviours of her to frustrate you...

My take... Maybe she thinks you ruin her life by getting her pregnant early and she is actually regretting us as a husband to her

SOLUTION...look for someone she respect tell that person to advice her, apologize to her and show her more love...never fight her in return and above all Go to God in prayer

It is well.

I luv ur advice i thk u r a genious hw i wish i cnuld av u on any of my social meia

I HEAR VOICES....

jaybeyblu:
Wow! God bless your mother! Calm down bro nothing is too difficult for God to do ! He can and would change your wife ok? Try and read this book: the power of a praying husband. *cheers*

chioma134: Wow!! Ur wife is the definition of wickedness. If she had issues with u,suřely she didn't have to transfer the aggression to ur mum.Don't let this go unpunished,otherwise,it will repeat itself. Call a meeting btw u,ur mum and her and Express ur Hurt. If she has any iota of good in her, she will show remorse. If she does'nt, then only God can help u, Bro. Cheers.
@op, find out ur wife's grouse with ur parents and take it up from there. No woman wants her Child taken away from her,but she shouldn't have openly quarelled with u in ur parent's prevence. Forgive her, but 1st express ur sadness. I believe she would budge with time.

andyanders:

My brother, there is nothing devil cannot do. Devil wants to ruin your life by using that woman against you.
Your wife only needs deliverance as there something behind her action. Can you take her to your for deliverance if you really want to keep your home since you already got kids with her. Note she is not the one acting. It is the demon living inside her. The devil you know is better than the angels out there.

If you look at the circumstances surrounding your existence by having you as the only child goes to show that the devil actually is doing something to make sure that your parents never know peace. If I can advise you, go to SCOAN or Liberation Ministry at Ojudu and your case will be over and you will enjoy that woman.

I believe that there is spiritual manipulation to make sure that your parents suffers. God will help you. Do not seek for divorce

soul_glo:

I think your situation is different and it seems there were underlying issues. That though does not excuse what she did. It is almost unforgivable but there always has to be room for forgiveness in marriage. Its what separates the men from the boys, women from the girls. Even if your mom attempted to murder her the fact that she is now disabled and was left hungry just breaks my heart. She is more fragile than the kids. I think you should not have told your mom what happened. You should have just told her there was a breakdown in communication and something was not properly passed across.
I don't really understand silent treatment. It cannot be effective. You need to communicate this to her in the strongest possible way "mama was left to starve because you chose not to help her". Honestly people do this for total strangers everyday. It is hard to imagine why she would do it to her children's grandma. Please don't let this go by choosing not to discuss it.

tensor77:
You do realise that you haven't solved the problem. You have in fact been using the threat of violence to maintain peace in your relationship. Now the question is what if your partner has not forgiven you for almost beating her to death in public but has secretly vowed to take vengeance. She could well be biding her time as women do. Yet foolishly you are coming here to brag instead of being remorseful and repentant for your animalistic behaviour.

Baby mama:

Women are no saints
But one thing I know is that no woman comes into her husband home to show her parents in law pepper
None whatsoever
Women come in and want to take them as her own parents but what they are met with oftentimes is not what they bargained for so what does she do?
She builds a wall to shut them off as a self protective mechanism
This is an only child ,born 8 solid after his parent's marriage who has entertained and voiced ideas to send the two kids to his parents for a period as some sort of compensation.
Nonsense
The same man brings in his parents without her knowledge to take the kids for the holidays
That is one example,who knows what else he had done in the past that scared this woman to death
Every woman with blood in her veins will resist that move with her life
I would too

Justbecos: @Op. First, may God keep you till old age.

My mom was the only child of her mother. She died about 17 years ago and it was the worse that could happen to my grandma. All five of us rallied round my grandma and I can say we are the reason she smiles again. That is because of the relationship we had with her while my mum was here with us.

I know your parents must be hurting badly but they seem to be good people and that's why they are not fighting at all. You are their child. Please fight for them. They deserve a good relationship with their grandchildren.

apache77:
u r in trouble bro...kick her asz out....you are not being firm..
my wife, wen we were dating was very refractive- as in very stubborn. i could come to see her and she will tell me get out- boota- it was dat bad. One night wen we had issues, and i was trying to stop her from stomping away in anger, she slapped me. I just held her and didnt even vex. she later put it down to being tipsy. i forgot the issue and just hung in der, swallowing all the shitt she handed down for years.....
till one fateful night in 2009 wen she misbehaved, while we were out.

I descended on her so brutally while a friend was driving us back home, she opened the door of the fast moving car to jump down- it would hav been manslaughter.We had to stop, i beat the hell out of her she crawled under the car and more than two dozen cars had to crowd round us cos people following thought it was a kidnap attempt. That was five years ago.

But since that day, the lose screw in her head tightened back and she has been very pliable, very amenable now. We are married now and no issues- she is the most humble wife you can think of- and i dont threaten her or try to lord over her- no. Just a loving relationship, but she has it at the back of her mind, this her husband can be a beast if he decides to.

She initially never liked my own friends and people around me- just her own people and friends- but now the tide has changed- its more my people around us now and my friends and no one complains- she always has a nice demeanour towards everyone. Matter of fact, as I speak, she is not just in family home, two cities away, but has even followed my mum to our village home- they have a great relationsnhip and I am happy.

This was a very very refractive woman who made our relationship hell- of all of us who dated it was difficult for any one man to get a handle on her, but I have tamed her and we have a wonderful relationship. Infact, right now, she is the one putting in all the effort to make the marriage work while I just cross my legs and watch her in amusement.

I think the single most decisive moment in our relationship was that fateful night 3years into our relationship when i beat the hell out of her- that singular moment turned the tables and told her i was firmly in charge.

You may need your own decisive moment too, to save your marriage...and your sanity, if its not too late already

Adamo84: This post got me laughing like Gosh! inside the mosque for that matter.

opetu: My wife has been a torn on my flesh, giving me headaches daily. It happens dat I met her in my final year in school (fellowship), we got close just as friends nd within 7 mnths of knowing her one thing led to the other nd she got pregnant for me, well i accepted my responsibilty. telling my parents also, It was actually a thing of mixed feelingz, bein dat i am the only child of my parentz, at least thats like having a second child for dem. Long story short i decided to marry her cos of the baby..wit the notion dat we woud build our early relationship in marriage ..

Now issue is dat My wife doesnt like d idea when my parent come see me in my home, alwayz grummble, she doesn have a close relationship wit my mom, mom is alwayz sad about this..I ve been married for 5years now, ma kids ve only visited my parents for a week, anytime i bring up d idea of dem goin to see them..we always quarell!! just last week sunday ma parents left their home so dey come take d kids for d nu year break, i ddnt tell ma wife, but she found out, it was a fight that happened ....wit her tearing my clothes.. my old man nd momma both cried seein dis, dey had to travel back dat evening seein dat my so called wife ddnt welcome dem in my home, Dis is just d little i can narrate !!

I have two kids now, i kinda hate having a second child wit her, now am thinking divorce, which i dnt want to, tried to b patient, but its like shez getting evil advice from sumplaces everyday, how many years more does my parents ve on earth dat i wont make dem happy at least to be wit their grandkids!! at first i thought dis was normal, or is it a normal thing for mothers to cling to their child dat way?? maybe am too soft on her!! sigh i wish i never married her d first place, i only wanted to rewrite my mistake by marryin her.

Harpesin:

There are lot of women especially ladies of nowadays praying to not meet their mother in-law when they married.....I have a lady saying she will never tolerate any nonesense from her mother in-law....that she will keep her under her shoe.......

greatestmistake:







Well, thanks all for your advice. The issue of my wife is a long story. Our marriage is about 8yrs now, and from the first year it has been hell till now. Someone suggested calling a kind of family meeting and discuss issues with her that she will change, we have gone to her mother and sister in the village to settle issues in time past but they partially told her she was wrong, she pleaded and I forgave but her repentance doesn't last more than 2 months and she will turn back to her devilish self again. Even my pastor have been at my house on occasions talking to her, my own parents equally but no permanent change from her. They all end up advising me to keep being tolerant as a husband. Someone suggested I should pray, unfortunately praying for my wife is like praying for nkakwu(that smelling long-mouth rat) to stop smelling, like praying for a pig to stop going back to dirt.
I really think she is just relaxed and deliberate with her actions knowing that I wouldn't lay a finger on her and wouldn't think of divorce. But honestly using force on her and threatening her with divorce by temporarily sending her packing to her parents is the only think I know for now that will change her. Despite her bad characters she is very jealous and protective of me, any female call I answer, I must explain to her who she is else another trouble. But the problem is for me to muster the thought and courage to forcefully handle her and temporarily send her back to her parents because I can't stand the shame when everybody will then know there is a problem. Another alternative may be spiritual thing, maybe she needs T.B Joshua type of prayers, sometimes I think maybe she doesn't know what she is doing, those kind of evil spirits manifesting in synagogue deliverance may be responsible. Am just confused and wish am not married at all.

magictouch: @ OP if the picture you painted about your parents is really true, I could do anything in the world to have them as my parent inlaw. It pains me so much that after having had 3 kids for my husband, my mother inlaw has never set her eyes on them. she has never called me one day to congratulate me after each birth.

Op there must be fundamental reasons why she behaves the way she does. find out why especially as she is not like that with her parents. And if you think she is just being wicked teach her some lessens. You said u are am only child and that u have 2 children, dont u want anymore children. I bet ur parent will appreciate that.

MY ADVICE
Impregnate another woman outside who will give ur parents access to the kids, that way she will know that she has lost out completely.

greatestmistake: @ OP We are just in too similar shoes
I've written a similar experience to post on nairaland recently but was afraid that people that knows me in nairaland will deduce from the story that i am the one. I just opened a new nairaland I.D to be anonymous. Poster, your own is moi-moi case compared to what am passing through. MARRYING MY WIFE IS THE GREATEST MISTAKE I MADE IN MY LIFE. 2hrs will not be able to finish narrating the first paragraph if am to narrate the hell am passing through. For instance, as am typing this now, since Jan 2nd 2014 I've not been talking with my wife, only good morning and me dropping money for family upkeep. She can keep the face-off till Jesus returns. Whats the problem? I was to take my relation who stays with my bedridden mother to village on 2nd as my younger siblings have traveled to village. Then on 1st I told my wife to prepare with the kids by 7am next morning being 2nd that i will drive them to go and stay with my mother as i drive with the relation to village for a 9.am scheduled village meeting and to come back same day. My village is barely an 1hour journey. I woke up early around 6am and tapped her to wake and start preparing but she shouted at me. Later by 8:20 she is still putting on towel to go and bath, then I told her am leaving to go and pick the relation as time is already against us, that she should then transport herself to go and stay with my mum. Our residence is not up to 10mins drive to my parents place. I then left to village, while in village I tried calling her and my mother but due to network limitation i couldn't get them. To my greatest surprise around 4pm while in village my mother was able to reach us on phone and told me that she didn't see my wife again and have not taken her lunch as she hardly moves around with her clutches due to her health challenges. I tried calling my wife again and network was telling me switched off repeatedly. I cut short everything in village and speed off back to town and met my mother stranded alone, I almost shed tears seeing her. Then back to my house, I met my wife watching cable tv, I asked her why she didn't go to my mother again, she asked me while I left her instead of exercising little more patience waiting for her to bath and by the way how do i expect her to take public transport with 2 kids? (not up to 10mins transport). Since then I cut off communication with her in anger as I can't beat her, I can't send her packing due to my religious family upbringing. In fact my mother now is telling me to forget about what she did, that it was just the devil at work. She is a core christian.

Am tired of typing, this is just a tip of the iceberg of the devil am living with as wife. May God punish the day i first set my eyes on this lady

Idi Amin: Sorry dear, we, men are not longer comfortable playing the fools for peace to reign. Even if his parents live in the village, remember that without those villagers, her husband wouldn't have been a city dweller. Let's be real here, the husband might be wrong in some ways but the wife is a big fool to fight her hubby even to the extent of tearing his clothes. I keep saying this, 60% of Nigerian ladies are not "marriageable". Go to other african countries and see what a wife should be

opetu:

I really dont know..but witches..ma mom bought a car for her!! my fam luvs her. dey try to relatebwitbher but she always backout. it was a wait of 8 years bfo my parents had me..its only normal for me to want them have more time with their grand kids.!! she just want me to alienate ma self from family

tuyi19: op, you need to really pray to God for forgiveness, when a wrong choice is made, you are bound to face this kind of challenges, the foundation is faulty already, pray to God to correct the faulty foundation, both of you are in a school fellowship, in which if you are really engaged, you are not surpose to sleep together talkless of having pregnancy outside wedlock. so, pray to God and after the prayer call her and talk to her. you may tell her that for the next one year, both your own family and her own should not visit your house and your kids should not visit them and see her reaction, wether she can do without her own mother visit the house for a whole year, from there you will see that she will change. but pray to God first, correct the faulty foundation because if the foundation is faulty, what can the rightous do?

whirlout: ...But just like you, my wife has an issue with my mother coming to see her grandchild. That is in addition to all the abuses, both non physical and physical fights where she would rip my clothes and create a nuisance in my upscale neighborhood. Mind you, I live in the US and my mother lives in Nigeria so she will have to travel all the way here to see us and more importantly spend time with her grandchild. The last 2 occasions have been quite a disaster with my wife cursing my mother out and blatantly disrespecting her. ... Only if you are happy, will everyone be happy and that includes your parents. In my case, my happiness I believe will come from me being alive to care for my child but I am certain at this point that continuing to stay with my wife with how bad the situation gets will not allow me that opportunity. As a result, sadfully and painfully, I have decided this year even against the pleading of my parents and my belief in the bible to get a divorce and at this point to me, it is already decided. ... If your wife can change, then that's good but in my case, I have come to the conclusion that nothing would ever change and the longer I wait and hope that things will get better, the closer to death I get.

immortalvoices: Sorry sir for the domestic marital problem...

Op the truth is dat she is seriously tired of the marriage, and she is using the wild behaviours of her to frustrate you...

My take... Maybe she thinks you ruin her life by getting her pregnant early and she is actually regretting us as a husband to her

SOLUTION...look for someone she respect tell that person to advice her, apologize to her and show her more love...never fight her in return and above all Go to God in prayer

It is well.



I HEAR VOICES....

Sarah a: Not every thing that we should be praying about,some time you need to take action .
Heaven help those who help themselves. If op like make him pray from today till Jesus come without action be taken ,oh boy na one chance you enter oh.






A word is enough for married man like you.

opetu: My wife has been a torn on my flesh, giving me headaches daily. It happens dat I met her in my final year in school (fellowship), we got close just as friends nd within 7 mnths of knowing her one thing led to the other nd she got pregnant for me, well i accepted my responsibilty. telling my parents also, It was actually a thing of mixed feelingz, bein dat i am the only child of my parentz, at least thats like having a second child for dem. Long story short i decided to marry her cos of the baby..wit the notion dat we woud build our early relationship in marriage ..

Now issue is dat My wife doesnt like d idea when my parent come see me in my home, alwayz grummble, she doesn have a close relationship wit my mom, mom is alwayz sad about this..I ve been married for 5years now, ma kids ve only visited my parents for a week, anytime i bring up d idea of dem goin to see them..we always quarell!! just last week sunday ma parents left their home so dey come take d kids for d nu year break, i ddnt tell ma wife, but she found out, it was a fight that happened ....wit her tearing my clothes.. my old man nd momma both cried seein dis, dey had to travel back dat evening seein dat my so called wife ddnt welcome dem in my home, Dis is just d little i can narrate !!

I have two kids now, i kinda hate having a second child wit her, now am thinking divorce, which i dnt want to, tried to b patient, but its like shez getting evil advice from sumplaces everyday, how many years more does my parents ve on earth dat i wont make dem happy at least to be wit their grandkids!! at first i thought dis was normal, or is it a normal thing for mothers to cling to their child dat way?? maybe am too soft on her!! sigh i wish i never married her d first place, i only wanted to rewrite my mistake by marryin her.

AVECDEO:

Guy are you stalking and talking about me...i'm going through the same situation and right now my wife has left with my kids for the past two month...though she still ask me for upkeep but i vehemently refused insisting that i will not take care of any child not leaving under my roof...will you believe she standing her ground and even came to my apartment to pick all her things and my kids.

Sarah a: Try to get intouch with her people,may be they could assist you regarding how to get back your kids.