It's normal to have flaws in a relationship. Sometimes the going gets real bad and then u think keeping malice with ur partner is the best way to show hw angry you are. Bt may I ask if this is really true. Do you av to keep malice just to show u are angry abt something ur partner did to u. Hw long shud u keep malice in ur relationship? Should u even keep it at all? or just throw the bombshell dat this is hw u feel abt wat he/she did and let it end there and then. Hw can we help ourselves out when it gets to that point and who should be the first to say I'm sorry? I want u guys opinion on this. Maybe this will help to straighten up crooked ways we might be encountering on this aspect in our relationship.

Sometimes you need that seperation to know how u value each other, _{una dey fight each other}

it is not always good to keep malice in a relationship.
you should try to be open and communicate in the relationship.
if you are hurt,tell ur partner you dont like what he did bla bla,and both of you will sort it out.
thats far better than keeping malice and corroding the relationship.
sometimes,he may not know he annoyed you.keeping malice will only make things worse.
on the other hand,being open will help build the relationship.

lidbb2:

it is not always good to keep malice in a relationship.
you should try to be open and communicate in the relationship.
if you are hurt,tell your partner you don't like what he did bla bla,and both of you will sort it out.
thats far better than keeping malice and corroding the relationship.
sometimes,he may not know he annoyed you.keeping malice will only make things worse.
on the other hand,being open will help build the relationship.

You are right.

If you feel like you're going to kill someone if care is not taken, then please keep malice. Some people have short fuse and explosive anger, the reasonable ones just like to stay away from their potential victims before something nasty happens. . . That could've been avoided.

whitelexi:

If you feel like you're going to kill someone if care is not taken, then please keep malice. Some people have short fuse and explosive anger, the reasonable ones just like to stay away from their potential victims before something nasty happens. . . That could've been avoided.

I don't see any reason while one would choose to keep malice instead.

Whoever cannot controls his/her anger is not yet mature.

Well some people dont like being told they did wrong, so I guess the only thing to do's to keep malice untill they are forced to ask what the did, Then you can no say.

I think you should talk to your partner about what they did wrong. You should not keep malice. Now that being said we are all human and from time to time we will fail to live up to this.

For me I try to avoid the feelings of malice because i dont know how to turn it off even when it has been settled. I feel like how can i go from angry to happy. So to avoid the prolonged feelings of malice i try not to start to feel that way.

malice - not healthy

malice ke?

Although u called it malice, but one thing that ladies especially has refused to understand is that men process problems inwards, while ladies does outward, so a man often just sit and process what has gone wrong and dont wanna talk at that time, but a lady wanna scream and shout and spit it out, so while the man is just looking and flipping the channels of the TV, doesnt mean he is keeping malice or ignoring u, most of us are just processing and needs time.

Processing ke? Are men pentium 1 or wat? Lol,

[b]Well, I thought everything can be talked through like adults but I don't think that is the case with some people, some people it doesn't hit home how hurt you are unless you keep malice. I mean hopefully the guy or girl will apologise, but what happens if he/she doesn't? What if they are okay enduring it, but you are breaking up inside? What then, then you have to go back on your word, and you look like a fool, and he/she'll lose a little bit of respect for you, because you a) didn't stick it through 'til you got the point across, because you value him/her so highly that you traded in your feelings to be with him/her again. or b) because you realised that you weren't worth the fight, which you are, but you going back, shows that you don't think that.

Lastly, I've been keeping malice with my ex, it makes sense. I tried the mature, let's be amicable route, and there are no positive results, so I have no choice but to implement the silent treatment, which doesn't affect anybody at this moment. But I know it will when he starts missing me LOL!! Or when his rebound babe leaves.[/b]

sometimes my husband gets me so pissed off that i just shut down, because i am the kind of person that starts crying when i feel hurt, the tears is just uncontrollable. so instead of acting like a fool i just shut down and become quiet just to calm my nerves, then my husband starts to think i am keeping malice. which pisses me off the more because i do have a short fuse and when i go off, i say things i regret later, which is why i try hard to keep my cool. so sometimes it is good to let people deal with anger in their own way as long as it calms them down.

I find malice generally irritating, it doesnt solve anything, it just copunds the problem. . .what if ur partner decides to call ur bluff? when will it all end?
There is a risk of sounding like a nag when u go on and on about how hurt u are about something or ow much u don like something. . . unfortunately there are periods when u just cant handle a situation and need silence. . . this can also be interpreted as malice.

I think the trick is to find d right balance between what to discuss and what to let go, afterall being in a relationship means u are willing to accept ur partners flaws and to let somethings go

It is relatively childish, but sometimes necessary in a relationship to keep quiet and cool off

How can sm1 think malice  is needed to pass a point across?
Whatever happened to informing your partner when he chafes you? 

_{Its childish abeg.There is a diff between keeping him being quiet and malice.}

Generally,i dislike malice.

@ missy b

one day ill get you and beat the shit out of your insultive little ass.

Ah baby
I tot you wear insult proof.I'm actually achieving my aim but sorry sweets,
even if i happen to stand in front of you with hands and legs tied,you still can't do JACK!!

Missy B:

Ah baby
I tot you wear insult proof.I'm actually achieving my aim but sorry sweets,
even if i happen to stand in front of you with hands and legs tied,you still can't do JACK!!

until then missyb

until then!

but i assure you, one day i'm goin get you

Rotflmao

You are infuriated bcuzz of a lady you only know on net?
Step up bruv!!!Your game nor complete.

Like i said:You can't do JACK!!

How can someone get a real love in Nigeria. Doeas it mean that Nigerians Girls can't even love for who someone is.

slymart:

How can someone get a real love in Nigeria. Doeas it mean that Nigerians Girls can't even love for who someone is.

nigerian girls more often than not, are too arrogant to luv. just take a look at missyb's post and u'll undersatnd their mindset!

Gabe_logan
Your sisters are nijas too oh.

Missy B:

Gabe_logan
Your sisters are nijas too oh.

sorry, i dont have sisters

I see the reason for ur irreverence towards women.

Grow up son,hating me won't help you.

I am ready to be the first to say sorry,I don;t mind if she's guilty. need info on dating issues www.datingstressfree..com

If u feel someone is ignoring u, and u decided 2 ignore d person too, is dat malice?

You don't have to keep malice to get your point across. You just have to take a stand.
If he's angry, let him be as angry as he wants to.
The secret is to act as if you do not care.

Malice is something i'm not really used to. I like acting like nothing happened then there's that one day when everything bursts out like a turbulent waterfall. That day for me, will have been my day of overbearing. I usually say it's best just to talk it out or just walk out on him. Find something better to do with your time. Spend time with things that help you take your mind off the argument and things that make you happy. When you are settled, go ahead and go back to him by that time you would have calmed down.

j-girl:

You don't have to keep malice to get your point across. You just have to take a stand.
If he's angry, let him be as angry as he wants to.
The secret is to act as if you do not care.

Malice is something i'm not really used to. I like acting like nothing happened then there's that one day when everything bursts out like a turbulent waterfall. That day for me, will have been my day of overbearing. I usually say it's best just to talk it out or just walk out on him. Find something better to do with your time. Spend time with things that help you take your mind off the argument and things that make you happy. When you are settled, go ahead and go back to him by that time you would have calmed down.

Here is where we differ honey. I dont believe in bottling up your feelings. People suffer heart attack by doing such. I am a very blunt and upfront person so I am a believer of the "NOW not Later" strategy in dealing with conflicts. I want it out of my system. The thing is if I stay to long to deal with it, I lose interest in the person or persons involved and sometimes may never know what actually transpired. One thing I can assure you though, is even when I am mad at my significant other, I wont ever let anyone around knows. I won't insult or give 'tell-tale" signs that things aren't going well. I believe in dealing with that person on my private watch