Why God Never Received Tenure at Any University
1. He only had one major publication.
2. It was in Hebrew.
3. It had no references.
4. It wasn't published in a referred journal.
5. Some even doubt He wrote it Himself.
6. It may be true that He created the world, but what has He done since then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating His results.
9. He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.
10. When one experiment went awry, He tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, He deleted them from the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
13. Some say He had His son teach the class.
14. He expelled His first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed His tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountaintop.

Old joke but relevant

Catholic School Whiz Kid
The teenage boy was not doing well at all in public school, so the parents decided that it would be time to send the lad to Catholic school for the year.

At the end of the term, sure enough the son's marks were straight As.

The parents were overjoyed and asked their son, "How did you improve so greatly? Are the nuns that much better teachers?"

"Not really better teachers," said the boy, "but everywhere I looked I saw a man nailed to the cross, and I knew they meant business here."

;d :d lmao

A woman went to the post office to buy religious stamps for her Christmas cards.
"What denomination?" asked the postal clerk.
"Oh, good heavens! Has it come to this?" said the woman. "Well, give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic ones."

A woman was at the beach with her children when her four-year-old son ran up to her, grabbed her hand, and led her to the shore, where a sea gull lay dead in the sand.

"Mommy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
"He died and went to heaven," the mother replied.
Her son thought a moment and then said, "And God threw him back down?"

A nun take a taxi in a hurry. While driving, a naughty idea comes to the driver mind.

He said to the nun.
Driver: It is my very big dream to kiss a nun.
Nun: Ok, I will let you kiss me in some conditions.
Driver : Of course! What are those conditions?
Nun: First, you should be catholic.
Second, you do have one wife.
Third, you go to church every week.

Driver : That's no problem! I am catholic, I have one wife and I go to church every week!

So the Nun give the Driver his very dream which is to kiss a nun.

After kissing the Driver said.

Driver: Sorry sister I lied! I am Muslim, I have many wives and I haven't gone to church!

Nun : Ok that's no problem. By the way, my real name is Arnold and I am on my way to a custume party!.