Do you get it? Does it pass you by? Can you tell when your partner is be sarcastic?

We are not talking since yesterday because I hit him with some sarcasim and I think he thinks I was for real. My pride wont let me call and his is the same.

How does a husband just ignore his wife when we live in the same house? And how long before he breaks (cuz i wont ever talk to him again if that is how he wants to carry it)?

You can't slap someone and claim it was "not a real slap", can you? Apologize and never do it again.

Seun:

You can't slap someone and claim it was "not a real slap", can you? Apologize and never do it again.

Never

You spoke to him in a sacarstic manner and he's angry over that? Give me a break!

Hold up! Do you mean hit as in physically hitting?

What the. . . how do you hit someone in a sacarstic manner?

Lawd-a-mercy! Osirisiri on Nairaland.

Sisikill:

You spoke to him in a sacarstic manner and he's angry over that? Give me a break!

The rest of the story, or should i say the prestory is I canceled an appointment and lied to him about it.  I told him that the other party rescheduled the appointment when in reality i canceled so that I could be home when my children returned from school.  Yesterday was thier first day of school and my son (11) has to catch the metro bus to and from school (he has never ever caught the bus as I have always driven).  Also my 8 year old is on her own this year with only her 6 year old brother to walk home with her.

So I was terrified that I would be at this appointment with my husband and one of the kids would get lost or wind up someplace they should not be.  Plus I want to know exactly what time I can expect them at home everyday and the first day tells it.

He thinks I "baby" the children too much and would not really understand why I wanted to postpone the appointment to stay home and wait for them.  So I lied, when confronted with it i told the truth and explained why.  He insisted i was not being truthful so i hit him with some sarcasm I said "yea i am hiding something and i am not telling because it is a seceret and that is why you hide it"  He said fine good bye and we have not spoken in about 24 hours now.

I was mad as hell that 1. he checked up on me, and 2. he did not believe me when i explained it to him.

Sisikill:

Hold up! Do you mean hit as in physically hitting?

What the. . . how do you hit someone in a sacarstic manner?

Lawd-a-mercy! Osirisiri on Nairaland.

No not physically.

Lmao. Isnt your husband Yoruba? We're a sarcastic bunch, perhaps yours is faulty

I can quite sarcastic. Actually Im very sarcastic but I tone it down when im around people who I know such would fly over their heads and then I'd have to explain it all and frankly that takes out the fun thus making it pointless.

If he's mad about it, I guess you're gonna have to break it down to him, Maybe he'll finally get it and all will be well. If not, suck it up apologize [size=4pt]sarcastically[/size] and dont bother wasting it on him anymore.

Sisikill:

You spoke to him in a sacarstic manner and he's angry over that? Give me a break!

same as me

me thinks d dude is a bit lightweight!

sistawoman:
He thinks I "baby" the children too much and would not really understand why I wanted to postpone the appointment to stay home and wait for them. So I lied, when confronted with it i told the truth and explained why. He insisted i was not being truthful so i hit him with some sarcasm I said "yea i am hiding something and i am not telling because it is a seceret and that is why you hide it" He said fine good bye and we have not spoken in about 24 hours now.

I was mad as hell that 1. he checked up on me, and 2. he did not believe me when i explained it to him.

Oh I get it now. Ironically I probably would have responded the same way you did He probably took the sarcastic comment as you not taking the issue seriously.

Whatever, your kids are still quite young. He can't just expect you to just drop them off and expect them to "get tough". Abegi jare, he's not serious. Obviously he must have known of this very motherly attributes. Next time don't even bother lying to him, tell him what happened and if he likes let him sulk, at least he'D know the truth.

Now for this situation, you're going to have to sit him down and tell him that while you understand his concerns, he's going to have t accept that it's hard for YOU as a mother to just let your kids go on their own like that especially since they are still very young, etc then take it from there.

It's not about the sarcasm, it's about the fact the issue wasnt really addressed properly.

From my woman, or anybody person I take seriously, I do not tolerate sarcasm. I understand them, but do not appreciate them.

RichyBlacK:

From my woman, or anybody person I take seriously, I do not tolerate sarcasm. I understand them, but do not appreciate them.

"tolerate"?

sistawoman:

How does a husband just ignore his wife when we live in the same house? And how long before he breaks (because i wont ever talk to him again if that is how he wants to carry it)?

I don't know.
I once said something like this and someone else told me I was behaving immature.
I think it's now my turn to let you know how immature you sound with that statement.

sistawoman:

The rest of the story, or should i say the prestory is I canceled an appointment and lied to him about it. I told him that the other party rescheduled the appointment when in reality i canceled so that I could be home when my children returned from school. Yesterday was their first day of school and my son (11) has to catch the metro bus to and from school (he has never ever caught the bus as I have always driven). Also my 8 year old is on her own this year with only her 6 year old brother to walk home with her.

So I was terrified that I would be at this appointment with my husband and one of the kids would get lost or wind up someplace they should not be. Plus I want to know exactly what time I can expect them at home everyday and the first day tells it.

He thinks I "baby" the children too much and would not really understand why I wanted to postpone the appointment to stay home and wait for them. So I lied, when confronted with it i told the truth and explained why. He insisted i was not being truthful so i hit him with some sarcasm I said "yea i am hiding something and i am not telling because it is a seceret and that is why you hide it" He said fine good bye and we have not spoken in about 24 hours now.

I was mad as hell that 1. he checked up on me, and 2. he did not believe me when i explained it to him.

Sarcasm, has no place in any serious and/or respectful form of communication.

Good thing I dont mingle with RichyBlack-ish people.

Ruby_Pearl:

"tolerate"?

None of my inner-circle friends use sarcasm. All discussions are respectful, serious but friendly.

Your husband should be more mature than that now but i guess you should sit him down and explain to him that it was only a joke

RichyBlacK:

Sarcasm, has no place in any serious and/or respectful form of communication.

I can imagine you as one of Scrooge's assistant. Ha Humberg!!^{or how does it go?}

RichyBlacK:

None of my inner-circle friends use sarcasm. All discussions are respectful, serious but friendly.

Sarcasm does not necessarily mean disrespect.
Sarcasm can be a friendly joke.

My gosh, am begining to believe you've never laughed before

RichyBlacK:

None of my inner-circle friends use sarcasm. All discussions are respectful, serious but friendly.

Oh live life
You sound uptight and bitter

sistawoman:

The rest of the story, or should i say the prestory is I canceled an appointment and lied to him about it.  I told him that the other party rescheduled the appointment when in reality i canceled so that I could be home when my children returned from school.  Yesterday was their first day of school and my son (11) has to catch the metro bus to and from school (he has never ever caught the bus as I have always driven).  Also my 8 year old is on her own this year with only her 6 year old brother to walk home with her.

So I was terrified that I would be at this appointment with my husband and one of the kids would get lost or wind up someplace they should not be.  Plus I want to know exactly what time I can expect them at home everyday and the first day tells it.

He thinks I "baby" the children too much and would not really understand why I wanted to postpone the appointment to stay home and wait for them.  So I lied, when confronted with it i told the truth and explained why.  He insisted i was not being truthful so i hit him with some sarcasm I said "yea i am hiding something and i am not telling because it is a seceret and that is why you hide it"  He said fine good bye and we have not spoken in about 24 hours now.

I was mad as hell that 1. he checked up on me, and 2. he did not believe me when i explained it to him.

Oh I see and now I wish I hadn't pressed the issue. Honestly, thinking he was put off by your sarcastic tone had him on higher standing to where he stands right now. Out of respect to you as a woman and the wife of this man, I'll refrain from saying how I think your husband is a silly immature bab and  how I have to apologize to silly immature babies for insulting them by comparing him to them. . . they at least have the excuse of being babies and immature.

Leaving 8 and 6 yrs old to walk home alone from school In this freaking day and age!

Gah! You know what, do me a favor hit him upside the head. . . not sarcastically.

Nonsense.  

KarmaMod:

Lmao. Isnt your husband Yoruba? We're a sarcastic bunch, perhaps yours is faulty 

I can quite sarcastic. Actually I'm very sarcastic but I tone it down when im around people who I know such would fly over their heads and then I'D have to explain it all and frankly that takes out the fun thus making it pointless.

If he's mad about it, I guess you're going to have to break it down to him, Maybe he'll finally get it and all will be well. If not, suck it up apologize [size=4pt]sarcastically[/size] and don't bother wasting it on him anymore.

LMAO! I remember getting sage advice from you to tone mine down. 

Brash!:

same as me

me thinks d dude is a bit lightweight!

Haba now! lightweight? You are harsh oh!

What did lightweight people do to you do deserve this insult?

RichyBlacK:

From my woman, or anybody person I take seriously, I do not tolerate sarcasm. I understand them, but do not appreciate them.

Gah! it's times like these I wish NL offered us more smiley options. Honestly, they didn't think this forum through oh. . . how can you not include a [b]SERIOUSLY ROLLING MY EYES [/b]smiley on a website for Nigerians? Come on now! Sheeesh!

RichyBlacK:

Sarcasm, has no place in any serious and/or respectful form of communication.

Neither is calling someone a LIAR or did you miss the part where he did so? Here's a refresher. . .

When confronted with it i told the truth and explained why.  He insisted i was not being truthful so i hit him with some sarcasm I said "yea i am hiding something and i am not telling because it is a seceret and that is why you hide it"

What would you have her do. . . get on her knees and beg for his forgiveness for putting the children's safety first? Give. me. a break!!!!!


Gosh Darn it! Where is a freaking[b] SERIOUSLY ROLLING MY EYES AND I FEAR THEY ARE ABOUT TO FALL OUT FROM SERIOUSLY ROLLING THEM [/b]Smiley when you need one? Ughhhhhhh!


@ Sisterwoman
I'd be remiss in my duty as an gboromiro (pls don't ask me to translate, I can't) if I didn't ask this. . . Why the heck did you have to lie about that? A simple "No hon, not today. . . I wanna be home when the kids get back from school" would have done it.

Not trying to add more to your already plenty but you gotta ask yourself what kind of relationship you have with this man of you can't be honest on something so small.

Sarcasm
1. A cutting, often ironic remark intended to wound.
2. A form of wit that is marked by the use of sarcastic language and is intended to make its victim the butt of contempt or ridicule.
-- thefreedictionary.com


Sarcasm is stating the opposite of an intended meaning especially in order to sneeringly, slyly, jest or mock a person, situation or thing.
-- Wikipedia


Joke
1. Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.
2. A mischievous trick; a prank.
3. An amusing or ludicrous incident or situation.
-- thefreedictionary.com

tope2000:

Oh live life
You sound uptight and bitter

You're obviously ignorant of the meaning and intent of sarcasm. I'm sure you think a sarcasm is form of advanced joke.

Sisikill:


@ Sisterwoman
I'D be remiss in my duty as an gboromiro (please don't ask me to translate, I can't) if I didn't ask this. . . Why the heck did you have to lie about that? A simple "No hon, not today. . . I want to be home when the kids get back from school" would have done it.

Not trying to add more to your already plenty but you gotta ask yourself what kind of relationship you have with this man of you can't be honest on something so small.

I just hung up the phone with my ex-bf talking about this very issue.  His comment to me was I never knew you to lie about something so small, so there must be something about him or something he has said that made you want to lie to him.

The truth is I did not want to disappoint him.  This is the third appointment we have had that has been rescheduled, the first by him the second by me (I am temping at my job and did not want to take time off) and this one by me.  I think he believes I am not serious or something.  I thought I would be ok with going and letting the children come home but I was not.  I was a nervous reck all day long.  I went to my son's school twice to check on him.  If he was home he would have seen that.

If he was in the car with me yesterday morning when i dropped off my son he would have seen me cry.  But he wasnt so he really did/does not understand how upsetting my son growing up is to me.  My son is turning into a man and I dont like it one bit.

Still he wont take my calls and I dont want to call his best friend again.  I have sent several text messages and left a couple of voice messages.  Nothing no contact.  Once I resolve not to talk to him hell will have to freeze over to get me to open my mouth.  He really should not push this issue with me.

The sarcasm was not ment to be disrespectful but he kept saying i was hiding something and so the sarcasm was kinda like yea right I am telling you the truth but if you dont believe me then let me give you what you want, do you believe me now.

How long before he decides he wants to talk?  How long do i wait to call his best friend/brother?

Sisikill:

Neither is calling someone a LIAR or did you miss the part where he did so? Here's a refresher. . .

What?

Don't you believe in "two wrongs don't make a right" anymore?

Jesu Christi egba ara kunri yi.

Like I said, not all sarcasms are meant to insult or ridicule the person it's directed.

For example, me and you can just be joking:

Richy: Wow! This taste so good. Did you cook it?
Me: No, the angels came by and dropped it on your table.

That's sarcasm, but I don't think you'll be that insulted, and you should't.

RichyBlacK:

You're obviously ignorant of the meaning and intent of sarcasm. I'm sure you think a sarcasm is form of advanced joke.

i can see that you have issues
take care of yourself

Ruby_Pearl:

Jesu Christi egba ara kunri yi.

Like I said, not all sarcasms are meant to insult or ridicule the person it's directed.

For example, me and you can just be joking:

Richy: Wow! This taste so good. Did you cook it?
Me: No, the angels came by and dropped it on your table.

That's sarcasm, but I don't think you'll be that insulted, and you should't.

abeg leave the guy jo, you can tell he doesnt have any sense of homour

sistawoman:


I just hung up the phone with my ex-boyfriend talking about this very issue.  His comment to me was I never knew you to lie about something so small, so there must be something about him or something he has said that made you want to lie to him.

The truth is I did not want to disappoint him.  This is the third appointment we have had that has been rescheduled, the first by him the second by me (I am temping at my job and did not want to take time off) and this one by me.  I think he believes I am not serious or something.  I thought I would be ok with going and letting the children come home but I was not.  I was a nervous reck all day long.  I went to my son's school twice to check on him.  If he was home he would have seen that.

If he was in the car with me yesterday morning when i dropped off my son he would have seen me cry.  But he wasnt so he really did/does not understand how upsetting my son growing up is to me.  My son is turning into a man and I don't like it one bit.

Still he wont take my calls and I don't want to call his best friend again.  I have sent several text messages and left a couple of voice messages.  Nothing no contact.  Once I resolve not to talk to him hell will have to freeze over to get me to open my mouth.  He really should not push this issue with me.

The sarcasm was not ment to be disrespectful but he kept saying i was hiding something and so the sarcasm was kind of like yea right I am telling you the truth but if you don't believe me then let me give you what you want, do you believe me now.

How long before he decides he wants to talk?  How long do i wait to call his best friend/brother?

Your ex sounds like a sensible guy, so what happened with you two and what's his number? Lol. . . I kid, I kid. On a serious note, that's a very good question and this talk about not wanting to disappoint him gives me pause. Like I said earlier I'm not try to add more to your issues but have to understand that except you are not a human being, maybe one of those super human hybrid from a far away planet, there is no avoiding disappointment i.e disappointing and being disappointed.

The only way to have that is if you are ready to constantly walk on egg shells, watch everything and anything that comes of your mouth and twisting yourself into an uncomfortable pretzel to please this man, also keep in mind that this is not a boss or a co-worker you see for a few hours a day. . . this is your husband, Are you ready to live your life like this? I doubt it! If you can't be yourself with the person you have sex with, then who? I think it's time you both sat down and talked about things. . . and don't forgot to put the sarcasm gun back in the holster, okay?  

Please don't call his friend or brother. Guys hate that. . . trust me, it's like you're reporting them and you know how fragile and easily bruised their egos are.  

One last question - What do you think will happen if you disappoint him? Do you think we'll loe you less or even leave you? I hope not. . . coz it means there is something seriously wrong somewhere.

topup:

I'm sorry to say this, but sista, you'll probably get the blame for this. I mean you can't be mad at someone for taking offence at what you said or being oversensitive, you just have to respect their feelings, which means, sucking up your pride and apologising. It'll be worth it, you'll get your loving husband back, and he'll feel like his feelings matter to you.

Without sarcasm, you basically insulted/teased him, we're lucky in this world to have sarcasm, but at the same time, it doesn't always work, because sometimes there's an element of truth behind the jokes me make, and it always depends whether the person chooses to take offence or not.

Lol, some skinny chick said to me. . 'we'll it's because you're a fat b****' once and I remember laughing at it trying to convince myself it was sarcasm, but deep down inside I thought there maybe an element of truth to it since she would view me that way, even if we are friends.

It depends how you choose to take things, I chose to take it as a joke, but I told her it hurt my feelings, which she obviously denied intending to do.

But how do i do that when he wont pick my calls?  Will he even come home tonight or opt to stay at the apartment?

RichyBlacK:

What?

Don't you believe in "two wrongs don't make a right" anymore?

Aaaaaah! I swear I'm about to lose my mind up in here, up here!

I need a ROLLING MY EYES SMILEY. . . STAT!!!!!!!!! 

sistawoman:

But how do i do that when he wont pick my calls?  Will he even come home tonight or opt to stay at the apartment?

Please stop calling him, apart from making him feel like. . . you know what, never mind that. Just let him have the space he obviously thinks he needs, he knows you called a couple of times, so there. Focus on something else, like. . . how the boys are adjusting to going back to school, now those are real babies who need attention.

Sisikill:

Your ex sounds like a sensible guy, so what happened with you two and what's his number? Lol. . . I kid, I kid. On a serious note, that's a very good question and this talk about not wanting to disappoint him gives me pause. Like I said earlier I'm not try to add more to your issues but have to understand that except you are not a human being, maybe one of those super human hybrid from a far away planet, there is no avoiding disappointment i.e disappointing and being disappointed.

The only way to have that is if you are ready to constantly walk on egg shells, watch everything and anything that comes of your mouth and twisting yourself into an uncomfortable pretzel to please this man, also keep in mind that this is not a boss or a co-worker you see for a few hours a day. . . this is your husband, Are you ready to live your life like this? I doubt it! If you can't be yourself with the person you have sex with, then who? I think it's time you both sat down and talked about things. . . and don't forgot to put the sarcasm gun back in the holster, okay?

Please don't call his friend or brother. Guys hate that. . . trust me, it's like you're reporting them and you know how fragile and easily bruised their egos are.

One last question - What do you think will happen if you disappoint him? Do you think we'll loe you less or even leave you? I hope not. . . because it means there is something seriously wrong somewhere.

I really need to stop and think but here at work is not the place. What u have written has really given me reason to pause and cry because you have touched on some really true fears and feelings.


Thanks.


I guess i messed up with calling his brother I did this am and asked him if he spoke to him and if he was ok. His brother wanted to know the problem and I told him I was not comfortable talking to him about it, but just wanted him to call to make sure he was ok. His brother called and said the phone is going to voicemail I told him i know cuz he is sleep now preparing for work tonight and that he should call later then call me so i iknow he is ok.