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The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? - Romance - Nairaland

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The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by layi(m): 9:06am On Sep 07, 2005
Love Tangle: You need a long term relationship which could probably lead to marriage but you are faced with two choices:

* You love girl/guy A so much but she/he doesn't have same feelings for you.

* Girl/guy B loves u dearly but u don't have the same feelings for him/her.

Which will u go all out for, the one you love or the one who loves u ?
Why?
Re: The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by kenflavor(m): 10:10am On Sep 07, 2005
hmmmmmm ---- angry
well I wouldn't say anything for now let me see what GP and Latoya would have to say, afterall they are better experienced grin shocked undecided
Re: The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by fabian(f): 10:17am On Sep 07, 2005
Tricky Question, this.

Well, I'd say that everyone, my self included, generally love to be loved by someone. But the feeling of losing the one you love will definitely be too much to bear for me.

I'd generally stick to the one I love and hope that in time, he'd love me back. After all, as they say, it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all!

That's my take on this one!
Re: The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by angelak(f): 11:20am On Sep 07, 2005
I think i will stick to the one who loves me. Hopefully i will get to love him with time.
Re: The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by IAH(f): 11:21am On Sep 07, 2005
I agree with Angela. I'll go with the one who loves me. I believe I'll learn to love him with time. I can easily forget about somebody I love if he doesn't reciprocate. Not hard at all.
Re: The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by kenflavor(m): 1:28pm On Sep 07, 2005
I will also go 4 the one who loves me depending on the fact that she has the good qualities I want from a woman. If not I will continue to search for.
Re: The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by kemmy(f): 1:49pm On Sep 07, 2005
Me too o, the one who loves me. But it would also depend on my take on the person.......I have to at least see my self learning to love that person back with time......if not.............it's not worth it.

I could easily say the one I love, but I can only speak for myself......and no one wants to be used........
Re: The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by vexxy(f): 6:54pm On Sep 07, 2005
I would have to go with option C, neither.

When it comes to marriage, the one I'm to be with through sickness or health, richer or poorer, for better or worse, till death do us part, I want to make sure that I love him and he loves me.

If there is a lack of love on either end it could result in adultery, disrespect, unhappiness, etc.

I would not tie my life down to a person whom I love but he does not love me.  Heartache.

I would not tie my life down to a person who loves me but I can't return it.  It's unfair to him.  He would deserve someone to love him as much as he loves the other.

Scenario: What if you marry the one who loves you, but you do not love in return.  You are walking down the street, bump into someone, a friendship ensues, and you end up knowing, just knowing that he/she is the one you are truly supposed to be with.  You then become bitter toward yourself for the lackluster marriage and bitter toward the one with whom you are married. 

No thanks. wink
Re: The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by layi(m): 7:06pm On Sep 07, 2005
Ha! Vexxy, No option C. What will do if all the ppl u meet in life fall into A or B (this happens 90% of the time). Remember "Tick says the clock tick,tick.".
Re: The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by vexxy(f): 7:10pm On Sep 07, 2005
Then I would stay happily single till the right one comes along. Better that then to get into something that may have the potential to stress me out for the rest of my life.

That clock can tick tock all it wants, non stop.

There is an Evangalist in DC that didn't get married until she was 41. Wait on God. grin

*I chose C because it was an option on your poll, sorry!*
Re: The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by layi(m): 7:15pm On Sep 07, 2005
vexxy:

*I chose C because it was an option on your poll, sorry!*

Seun just did that. 'twasnt there b4
Re: The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by vexxy(f): 7:23pm On Sep 07, 2005
You never said what you'd do. I'm curious to know. . . .
Re: The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by Seun(m): 7:29pm On Sep 07, 2005
I'll simply fall in love with the one who loves me. Love is an emotion that can be built up under the right conditions. I will also try to find out why it's difficult for me to fall in love with the one that loves me. It might be that my "love" for the unavailable one is what is making it difficult for me to love the other one!
Re: The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by vexxy(f): 7:37pm On Sep 07, 2005
Do you think that getting rid of the one you love will free up your love to then give to the one who loves you?

Did that sentence make sense? L.O.L.!

1 Like

Re: The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by layi(m): 7:57pm On Sep 07, 2005
Scripture says we love GOD because he first loved us. This is a principle i found to be true in relationships. Love begats love.
A or B would go but to be on a safer side, I'll go for Girl B, the one who loves me "deeply", perhaps I'ld love her with time.
I can't vouch that Girl A would love me with time.

Of course Its got to be mutual for me to tie that knot.
Re: The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by vexxy(f): 8:01pm On Sep 07, 2005
Well, following that same principle, Layi, then the girl you deeply love, over time would love you. So it could work both ways, right? wink
Re: The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by layi(m): 8:07pm On Sep 07, 2005
The girl is likely not gonna accept me in the first place.

But i could accept girl B because she loves me and i know love begets love. I could grow to love her with time.
Re: The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by twinkledew(f): 8:08pm On Sep 07, 2005
undecided
Re: The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by vexxy(f): 8:19pm On Sep 07, 2005
It must work, Layi.  According to Scripture we love God because he first loved us.

If that's the principle we are using then Girl A would end up loving you because you love her and you would love Girl B because she first loved you.

I say stay way from this whole mess, because that's who it will likely end up.  Go to the one who loves you as you love her. grin

I want to see you happy wink
Re: The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by layi(m): 8:31pm On Sep 07, 2005
Note that this is just d last resort. We all want a situation where the love is mutual. but its just like asking which would u take incase it doesnt.

The fact is that that principle cant work with Girl A cos she doesnt have the same feelings so she'll probably not allow me in her life not to talk of love begettin love after a while.
Re: The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by vexxy(f): 8:32pm On Sep 07, 2005
Do you feel that with Girl B you are more susceptible to straying if initially you are not in love with her?
Re: The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by layi(m): 8:40pm On Sep 07, 2005
Straying as in

i don't want to assume d meaning
Re: The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by vexxy(f): 9:08pm On Sep 07, 2005
Straying = infidelity.
Re: The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by Seun(m): 9:11pm On Sep 07, 2005
You have to understand that the girl who loves the boy does not know that he doesn't love her. Though he may not love her, he will pretend to be absolutely in love with her, so she will be give him lots of sex and food.
Re: The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by vexxy(f): 9:22pm On Sep 07, 2005
Pretending to love someone is just wrong.  And it takes to much work.  Why go through the trouble of pretending to love someone when you can genuinely love someone.

At least then you wouldn't have to worry about cheating, having the girl find out, then having your food "tampered" with.  A woman scorned is no woman to cross shocked

. . . and then some wonder why women think men love them so much.  They seem to be great actors! cry
Re: The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by mycutiepie(f): 12:02am On Sep 08, 2005
I will surely go with the one that loves me and as time goes on, he will love me cos i had this guy who really loved me and the parents, let me use the word family are the sweetest family i had ever know but the unfortunate part is: I DON'T LOVE HIM. I just want him as a friend and nothing more. BUT the other side of the coin is..OOPS! I just mentioned the name of my upcoming movie shocked . Well, the beans has been spilled. The one I love though he loves me as he claims and feels that maybe cos am madly in love is a cheat and was keeping a gal under his roof hile i was stuggling in campus to make something out of life. So , I will say" Ki olorun ma je ka gbe egun elegun, oko/aya tiwa ni ki olrun fi dawa lola" LOVE is crazy and LOVE is pain. cry
Re: The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by Adetola(m): 10:56am On Sep 08, 2005
Na wao! This is quite a dificult and tight corner
Re: The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by twinkledew(f): 1:43pm On Sep 08, 2005
i will go for option C. i wld want me partner to love me and wld wanna love him back as well. what is the point of going out with someone that does not love u. (Desperados) sry but am not. will rather wait for the right person at the right time.
Re: The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by twinkledew(f): 1:46pm On Sep 08, 2005
i will go with ve.. opinion(s). go for someone that loves u, u might end up loving them.if its the other way round it is not safe.
Re: The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by Seun(m): 8:59am On Sep 09, 2005
The general consensus seems to be that most of us - men and women, boys and girls - would rather go for someone who loves us dearly. This implies that one way to get someone to agree to relationship with you is to pretend to be head over heels in love with the person! Is it any wonder, then, that men (and some women) do exactly this?

Personally, if someone likes me, I automatically like the person back. I don't know about "love" though.
Re: The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by layi(m): 10:55am On Sep 09, 2005
Seun:

.......This implies that one way to get someone to agree to relationship with you is to pretend to be head over heels in love with the person! .....
I Disagree!

Love is synonymous with sacrifice.
U cant pretend to love.
Pretenders cant make sacrifices. If they do, they are probably in love.
U either love or u dont.
Pretenders only succeed if d victim aint looking for the right clues.
Re: The One You Love or the One Who Loves You? by WesleyanA(f): 5:42am On Sep 10, 2005
neither.
why would anyone get married to someone they don't love or someone who doesn't love him/her ?

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