My sister, I get one question for you. Sex na food? I can see that you have over-fed on the forbidden fruit. Jesus is calling you, repent of the pre-marital choppings! _{**Sighs and walks out**}

When I read your story, I discovered that you love the guy because of one thing and that is sex. It is very sad at this tender age of yours to be going this.

You mentioned that he's good at bed. Is that enough reason to get yourself acquianted with a man who has nothing doing or offering. He's always there to satisfy your sexual urge. If you want to move forward you need to put your mind off him. It looks like you're paying for the services he renders you i.e. sex. Both Islam and Christianity did not suport pre-marital sex and this have become an order of the day among today's girl. Having sex with someone who is not ready to take up any responsibility other than collecting your sweat earned money is dangerous. If eventually marry him within the shortes period

I think you should sit down and think over this and adjust. I pray that God will tocuh you and minister unto you Himself. Your purpose in life will come to pass in Jesus name.

Stay blessed.

sex is good, you take care of him,
seems like a good symbiotic relationship,

there's a lot of job to do!
Look, if he had enough money,
you would have loved him a lot
even if for the sex he gives you so well.

thats why i always say to guys,
get money first,ladies will come with money.

poster, give him little money,let him start a buz,
you both should monitor it,
if that doesnt work,
buy provisions for him let him sell, or pure water
finish

I can't believe people are still responding to this post.

At first, she made it look so pathetic and was getting sympathetic responses. then she turned defensive,now she is feeling so good with her self for having had to start this thread

Now i asked. Did all these make you dump him? or has it improved the situation.Lol. just like you said in the beginning of the post, he who wears the shoes knows where it pinches, so please deal with your problem your own way.No matter the advise you get. it won't change you.It's because you don't have so much and not so wealthy as you tend to portray, that's why its eating you off. The rich and wealthy don't look in the pocket when spending.

P.S leave the poor guy alone to fend for himself and find your own life. But wait, how come "they" haven't been coming for you. I think i know your problem. it's this. IF I LEAVE HIM, WOULD I FIND ANOTHER? I thought you said you are beautiful and young?LOLOLOLOL.but then i like your personality.

my dear,why not test him and see if he's really into you.If you think he's likely to do same for you then stick to him.My own boyfriend is not working too but he's obviously embarrased when I do the bills.But,for sanity sake don't give more than you can bear.Cheers,it could have been worse.

If he is not meeting up in the game. Mr perfect is on the sidelines just give me the green light.

I DON'T SEE ANYTHING WRONG IF YOUR HUSBAND TO BE IS COLLECTING MONEY FROM YOU.THE FACT IS THAT HE DON'T HAVE A JOB YET.BUT WHEN HE SECURE ONE AND STILL BEHAVES THIS WAY THEN YOU KNOW HE DO NOT LOVE YOU AND HE IS HAVING AN AFFAIRS WITH SOMEONE ELSE HE LOVE OF WHICH HE MAYBE SPENDING YOUR BILLS AND DOLLARS TO.
THE QUESTION IS THAT,DO HE REALLY LOVE YOU.YOU SAID HE IS GOOD AT BED TIME, ONE THING YOU NEED TO KNOW IS THAT SEX IS NOT LOVE IT IS JUST A FUN.SEX IS LOVE WHEN BOTH OF YOU UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER AND THERE IS NO COMPLAINTS LIKE THIS TO THE PUBLIC EVEN IF YOU GIVE HIME ALL OF YOUR HARD EARN MONEY.
FROM MY OWN KNOWLEDGE,HE DOSEN'T LOVE YOU.IF REALLY HE DOSE THIS TYPE OF REPORT SHOULDN'T BE OKAY.
YOU MADE THIS REPORT JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE SAD ABOUT THE WHOLE THING AND WHAT MAKES YOU SAD IS BECAUSE HE IS NOT COMMITED TO YOU.MONEY IS NOT EVERYTHING OKAY.HE DO NOT NEED TO BE COLLECTING MONEY FROM YOU BECAUSE YOU BOTH DATE EACH OTHER AFTERALL HE MAY HAVE PARENTS AND RELATIONS THAT WILL ALSO CARTER FOR HIS FINANCIAL FAILURES.
IN CONCLUSION,IF REALLY HE LOVES YOU,HE WILL NOT BE COLLECTING MONEY FROM YOU ALL THE TIME,AFTERALL YOU ARE NOT HIS SUGAR MUMMY OR ARE YOU?
HE NEED TO SEEK FOR A JOB EVEN IF IN THE BREWERY FACTORY TO BE SUPPORTING HIMSELF ALONE.
I MEAN I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE SAD BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT GETTING ALL OF LOVE FROM HIM NOT THE MONEY OR MATERIALISM.
BYE FOR NOW.

Girl going from all you sounds like your relationships gone cold (tho the sex aint lol), its not just the money thing sounds like thats a cover up for some other issue wrong somewhere. Coz trust me if your relationship was an healthy one he won't feel comfortable taking hand outs from you instead you would be more than happy helping out the man you love at this time of need. harsh but true.

@ poster oh my goodness are you kidding? you better dump his ass FAST. like gucci said no REAL man would sit there and rely on a woman for financial needs especially if he not make effort to support himself he might even be spending that money someone else not trying to ruin anything but you better open you eyes and think wisely it is not right husband or no husband and by the way how long have you been putting up with this mess?

Good sex is scarce and comes at a price,

WHy do you think we have gigolo's in town

Have you ever had a bad partner sexually until then you wont understand what this gurl is saying. Stay in it if for the sex alone.

Its worth it.

24 yr old girl using a 31 yr old man for sex waiting for a good replacement, and all of are busy trying to give her any suggestion. Pity.


Ok here's my suggestion,

Plan your life and get your acts together. Life is more than a small car and stupid 8-4 job somewhere. You are confused and lack direction. Meet your pastor or imam for counselling. After that you can call me if you need the replacement

THE BOTTOM LINE IS, ITS NOT ONLY MEN THAT RELY ON THEIR GIRLFRIENDS, WOMEN DO IT TOO,

IT IS SEXIEST TO SPECIFY OF WHICH SEX DOES NOT WORK,

EVOLUTIONARY THEORY'S WOULD SUGGEST MEN SHOULD WORK, N WOMEN SHOULD NOT,
BUT IN THAT CASE, THEY SHOULD NOT HAVE EQUAL RIGHTS,

BUT AS WE LIVE IN THE 21ST CENTURY, WERE WE HAVE LEARNED MANY LESSONS, THROUGH OUT HISTORY
AND ADVANCED EMOTIONALLY AND MORALLY, AS WELL AS BIOLOGICALLY - 'FOR ANY WHO BELIEVES THAT'

WE CONSIDER ALL HUMANS TO BE EQUAL, UNLESS YOU ARE A PERSON WITH PREJUDICE,

SO IF YOU DON'T THINK IT IS RIGHT TO BE WITH A POOR MAN, THEN NOR IS IT RIGHT TO BE WITH A POOR WOMAN

SO THE QUESTION SHOULD NOT BE TO DO WITH THE SEX, MORE THE TOPIC OF SUPPORTING ANOTHER PERSON.

i thk the ealier the better if u actually knw what you want in a guy u would nt thk of comparing it  wit sex. i will advice u to leave the guy& put ur trust in God.

This is the conclusion of the whole matter "He is really good in bed LOL maybe that's why I still hang around I don't know"

In a country like ours where things can go awry any minute, u can hardly put so much blame on a guy for being jobless , that is if he is putting serious effort to better his status. But when a man is so comfortable collecting money from you and also extending the goddies to his family members then there is a chronic problem.

The truth is the guy feels you are paying him for the good sex and will not be serious about enhancing his financial status , even if he does it is surely not for you, he most likely will meet another lady to show is sexual prowess to. Psychologically the guy feels u are hooked, from ur talk it will really take strong will to break out , even if u do he will be hopeful u will still come back.
The first thing u should do is to dig into his history ,I sincerely doubt if you are the first victim, after you some others will still fall.

The guy no like u and u know like am period . U GO FOR SEX , HE COMES FOR YOUR MONEY. Things can really change and it must begin with you.

You kow, i believe there is depending and using. and as it sound to me, he is merely using you, so my advice is to tell him to either find his way fast or pack his bags, because you aint ready to be a mother yet.

Your guy is a BINGO, hope you breastfeed and give him bones too.
He aint man enof for you wether husband or not!!!!!!!!!!!!

i will rather say you need to be a bit carefull in making your decision,
assuming you leave him now,i want you to know good guys are not easy to get,someone who will love and care about you, i believe the gguy might be sinere and honest with your relationship, which is hard to find anywhere, just have a very deep thought b4 you decide, cheers

I think what you have to do is clear if you were motivated to create a post like this. If you don't love him and he spends your money which you also don't like, why are you with him?

this is why i ve always prayed dat God should always bless me so dsat i can meet the need of my woman.can u imagin she reacting 2 her guy depending on her?in 97% of the time r the ones paying d bills,in only 3% of cases where girls pays d bills,the whole world most hear about it.joichi i think u will make a bad wife.[color=#990000][/color]

@poster,
U re a true naija gal, so i won't blame u at all. Now take the advice of an elder.

1. U re lucky to hv found a man u love and who can satisfy u sexually (ur Mama and other married women will count you lucky), so try wait a little longer for God 2 bless him with riches. Riches come from God alone, hardwork is not a factor.

2. Do not disrespect or use abusive words on him, only learn 2 say NO to his requests sometimes.

3. Spend more time talking to him than fucking him.

4. He loves you so much that he swallows his pride always to spend from ur purse. Do also note that only men who nurse commitment in a relationship (marriage) tend to introduce their babes to their family members.

5. Ur problem is just impatience, maybe the rough times facing him now is to expose ur virtue.

6. You may leave him for another Guy financially buoyant and regret afterwards.

7. You appreciate many qualities in him, which are his nature. The only problem is that he has no money, depending on you and making little or no efforts to ur taste. This means that he is likely to be ur dream man as soon as riches visit him.

So my dear, do not hid to the advice of some straight thinkers who do not understand the different recipes of life. He may get connected 2moro and make the money ur 'hardworking' men make in a lifetime within 1 year. Then u will understand that love is all about sharing moments.

GOODLUCK & GOD BLESS!

betadaz:

@poster,
U re a true naija girl, so i won't blame u at all. Now take the advice of an elder.

1. U re lucky to hv found a Manchester United love and who can satisfy u sexually (ur Mama and other married women will count you lucky), so try wait a little longer for God 2 bless him with riches. Riches come from God alone, hardwork is not a factor.

2. Do not disrespect or use abusive words on him, only learn 2 say NO to his requests sometimes.

3. Spend more time talking to him than fucking him.

4. He loves you so much that he swallows his pride always to spend from ur purse. Do also note that only men who nurse commitment in a relationship (marriage) tend to introduce their babes to their family members.

5. Ur problem is just impatience, maybe the rough times facing him now is to expose ur virtue.

6. You may leave him for another Guy financially buoyant and regret afterwards.

7. You appreciate many qualities in him, which are his nature. The only problem is that he has no money, depending on you and making little or no efforts to ur taste. This means that he is likely to be ur dream man as soon as riches visit him.

So my dear, do not hid to the advice of some straight thinkers who do not understand the different recipes of life. He may get connected 2moro and make the money ur 'hardworking' men make in a lifetime within 1 year. Then u will understand that love is all about sharing moments.

GOODLUCK & GOD BLESS!

Well said

So what if u pay the bills.so fuk what if u spend for his folks.whateva. spell it out that u dont love or even like him and u dont have to bring ur self here and start telling us how fukd up ur man is.it means u dont have any feelings for him.u r even supposed to be more responsible as long as u know he doesnt av it.what if u get married and all these start happening?so leave him and let the guy be than hanging ur dirty laundry in public.mind u that guy is just going through some trying times,he's gonna get a job and i mean a good one very soon, and "U" u gonna be surprised.by then u might av gon.keep listening to them who say u should leave him.y dont u ask them what they are to their women.by the time u must av left ur guy they will still be with their babes or guys.some of them will come over and ask u out.trust me and watch it. they are being normal Nigerians,they always follow the croud but wont face reality.

hummmm

he is what they call a GOLD DIGGER

run for your life

if u think that u can not do without him then drop him, but remember that he will still be better than u tomorrow no matter what.

i feel ur pains ,wz once in ur shoes,if u rili luv him n u c prospects of his financial status comin up,give it sm tym,if nt get out

ehen na today we dey hear this kindda of story, WETINS SEF woman no fit feed him man b4 , look up and shaked his head [color=#006600][/color]

i say you shout MAYDAYYYYYYYYYY and run until you leave your legs behind


he is bad news

Before i say anything i cant believe the subject of some threads, some people cant just think for themselves again until you let someone make common sense (well i heard somewhere that sense is not common afterall ) decisions on your behalf.We all did comprehension in school so i'd paste her headache below and lets just drew 2 simple inference which funny enough she highlighted,talking about reverse retardedness 

Hi nairalander,

Please i really do need help fast. The person I call my boyfriend relies so much on me for his financial needs.

I understand that he might not have a job (while I do, one i just got recently anyway) but he should sometimes wear the pants in this relationship and not me. I do most of the spending and he sees no big deal in asking me for more. His response would always be "afterall you are my wife" which I find very annoying.  The way i was brought up, men do the spending while ladies lend a helping hand. How I found myself saddled with him, I swear I do not know.

Do I love him?  That I do not know. But I understand that money isn't everything. I can count on one "finger" how much he's spent on me. But me,  please don't ask!

Its not like I buy the world for him, no! But when we are together, he's always broke & tells me that i should be the one with money since I work. I've tried explaining (albeit aggressively since i alwayz feel so MAD Angry ) that i don't work in a bank's vault & I make enough money just to cater for my basic needs, he doesn't seem to care as much.

Whenever I go visiting his folks, I know how much I spend doing "big girl" or "in-law" Sad

Yet he's never spent a DIME on my people.  Never even bought "coke" or even sweet for anyone in my house. He claims he is forever broke yet encourages me to spend on his family & on him.

Maybe he does feel something for me, I wouldn't doubt that, but sometimes I think that's the only reason he's with me.

Guys always feel that we ladies are with them for the money even when they hardly spend a dime on you! I only console myself with the fact that sometime in the future, he might be man enough to actually strike gold, but what happens if he doesn't eva? Would I be indebted to a life of misery forever?

One thing i know about him is that, financially, he is not mature at all.  By the way, I'm 24 while he is 31.  I should be grooming myself for the altar not 4 doom!

Please understand my plight.  I'm not looking for a ready made man.  I want someone I can grow wit in all aspects of our lives.  But with his financial attitude, I doubt if I can stand it.  Maybe I didn't mention one little detail.  He is really good in bed Grin LOL  maybe that's why I still hang around I don't know.

Ladies, you should be in the best position to help out here. Should I just ditch him until i find another replacement or hope against hope that things get better in the nearest future, or just enjoy the sex until i find another replacement?!

No yaps, snide talks or insensitive comments please.  If you don't have any useful comments, kindly keep the unnecessary ones to yourself. My heart is too heavy to take any insensitivities please.

1.Do I love him?  That I do not know
-This day and age you go into a relationship without at least loving the person(liking the person is not enough!)even if its a fling you never know how its gonna end,its simply gonna be a disaster regardless who is leaning on who for  financial reliance,what irks is that you don't even know if you love him or not,if you had said no i would have still have had some ounce of respect for you yet still you had the guts to come out and ask everyone when there are some genuine quagmire life situations we all can positively contribute to,you got to be kidding me.

2.He is really good in bed Grin  LOL 
-All the women that left their abusive husband home must be stupid to have left despite their hubby's extraordinary cloud 9 projection skills.Basically you are leading us to believe that the sex is the reason you're still rocking the boat with him,you were even grinning and lolling us, if you call that sense of humour with the dire situation you'r in then obviously it doesnt pay you to be sarcastic coz you got its time-table twisted,well then consider his financial needs as a payment of his unparalled sexual services to you.One thing is for certain that we all know - YOU ARE IN LUST WITH HIM AND LOST IN TRANSIT TO YOUR INNER WISHES.

sorry dear, the guy is one hell of an opportunist,
he aint good for u, dnt be blinded by the good sex he offers,
someone like him shd rather feel bad wen u spend on him and he will discourage u frm doin that cos he cares about u

i know this is a delicate issue cos u love him but u shd know that u should love wit ur brains
does he hav any academic qualification?? if he does i think u shd also help him find a job,
help throw his cv's around, u might help him land a job thus relieving urself of this duty of catering for him,

but please u hav a life u shd start saving towards ur future instead of lavishing all u hav on him,

girl ,next time you talk to this guy please kindly tell him what parasite he is, do not be ashamed or feel too embarrassed to let him know how yo feel.quit the relationship fast,hold no regrets, you are every good hard working guys dream and the good one with the best sex is just around the corner if you will relax and look beyond him hey he does not what hagging there for. best of luck girl.