@Mer-C

looking at musty very closely, i see a fine boy who will DEFINITELY be tempted to touch (and do more) at the slightest opportunity. now, i'm not saying he's cheating. i'm just not saying he's faithful as well.

*sits down*

Itz all about resisting temptations

some people love their partners but still lust, esp nymphos

@Kellorah

Yeah and thats there main problem

yeah
they need to know how to control themselves

Cause if they dont start to know how to control themselves hmmm they gon be having alot of babies mama's everywhere and at the same time make a mistake that they'll regret ever making

yeah

But really some men are just so used to cheating that if they dont do it they wont be feeling normal. And some of them too just get tired of seeing the same face/body all the time and they like to get a taste of new things weekly. Those kind of men need serious help.

yeah that's why people prefer the single life

hmmmm true that. Especially if they've went thru series of heartbreaks

what has cheating got to do with love?

I will confess I read only the first few replies but I kind of get the picture. I must say that everyone has a valid point, but permit me to put a new spin on it : Picture this: a man and a woman in a loving, committed relationship and hey presto :dude dips out on chica for some reason ! What becomes  of he relationship? Thats where the question comes in: did he ever love her? I don't necessarily doubt that he never loved her/still loves her. People cheat for different reasons, leisure, boredom, affection, adventure, relationship generally falling apart -it could be anything, but it doesn't necessarily mean that love is gone from the relationship.As a matter of fact, I think that the very essence of the relationship will be defined in his folly. It may take this kind of foolishness for the guy to realise he really loves this woman,  This is my opinion now,

So my follow up question is this : if any of us women ever found ourselves in this situation, would we remain in the relationship? What becomes of it?

i love my girl, but when i travel nd i feel lonely,i find some action

@Giorgio

kudos, holmes!!! i just hope she's (or a close friend of hers) not a member of nairaland.

@ IBB
Thanx 4 d compliment, i get that all the time. Its unfortunate that u think that way, not every guy is unfaithful to their girl, i am sure u aint faithful to yours thats y u think i am like that bt guess wat homie, U DEAD WRONG, I got me a girl and i love her so. Cheatin is never an option 4 me, i am more than happy with her, i hav no reason to go look elsewhere. TU COMPREND?

@ IBB

Musty? Tempted to touch?
OH HELL NAW!! I kno u didn't jus talk about ma man like that?
NOT MA MAN!!!!!  

_{*tempted to touch*} shakes head and walks away. . .[sup][/sup]

Loving a woman and cheating on her i can say they are two different things.
When i love a woman with the whole of your heart and she's always there when shes needed . I can't cheat on her. But if the she's the type that will not want to be there always hummm you said i should not cheat on her i will even over do it

How does our Nigerian soceity encourage men to cheat, or if i should use you own words "DICTATE" that men should cheat. Are you using that as an excuse or do you really believe such bull.

if you know what love truly is, you would not ask the quesion

@ ToyM28
I think what he's trying to say is that Naija culture and society promote the idea that it's okay for a man to cheat but not for the woman. But that in the West it's different. People don't generally think that a man has more right to cheat than a woman in the West, that's why you have more women in the west who cheat. I think that's what he's trying to say.

@ hotangel, thanks

yea

maybe,

dont really know

I would not advise women to leave their man cos he cheats. Dont Know the stats, but I will think 95% of nigerian men cheat. If u chose to leave cos he cheated on you, the next man would do the same thing too. So if we are not beating u, we are taking care of home, children. And we dont rub our promiscuosity in ur face and most important , we practised safe sex. Allow us jo.

Yes it is possible to love a woman and cheat on her. That doesn't mean that it should be done. As men we have this inherent weakness though that makes us fall easily, and a lot of women know this and exploit it.

The best way to avoid falling is to avoid compromising situations.

justin04:

I would not advise women to leave their man because he cheats. Dont Know the stats, but I will think 95% of nigerian men cheat. If u chose to leave because he cheated on you, the next man would do the same thing too. So if we are not beating u, we are taking care of home, children. And we don't rub our promiscuosity in your face and most important , we practised safe sex. Allow us jo.

You must really think women are stupid.

That's the definition of men. They love one and hang around with several others. If you find a man who sticks to one babe, let me know. He needs to be in the guiness book of records.

@ NIA

my question still stands as how does the nigerian soceity encourage men to cheat. By saying men are the head of the house, or wat?

@ Justin

Gosh i havent heard more bullshit than that before. Oh guy u must be experienced in the arts of talkng BULL. I wouldnt be surprised if you cheat, and when u are caught. . . . u tell ur patner, "its accepted cuz i take care of you". Cheating is not something to be proud of encouraging, its one of the major spreaders of AIDS, one of the major causes of broken marriages and lone parents. All together cheating has with it major problems, that only a fool would easily overlook and think that as long as he or she is the breadwinner of the family, its accepted.

Its possible. I might try Bleep with my wife. If you are kinky like me, I might be your husby. I will forgive you cheat. In a nut shell, I am seeking open relationship to sex only. Other bond should be b/w me and you. holla at this guy

Its depends. if the woman is not giving back, then he can be pushed to do it. But i dont think its possible TO LOVE SOMEONE and at the same time HATE THE PERSON. theres no love in tht relationship anymore.

control!!

Men, I have spent too much time on this thread. But TOYM28 I will answer your question. You wrote:

ToyM28:

@ NIA
my question still stands as how does the nigerian soceity encourage men to cheat. By saying men are the head of the house, or what?

No, it doesn't have to do with that. (Although, I believe the idea behind the man "heading the household" meant that a man should lead by example and live in a way that his family members can emulate and be proud of. But, unfortunately, it has been twisted to mean other things. )

When we're discussing our society and culture and how they've created the double standard (that it's okay for men to cheat but not for women), we need to look at the broader contexts in which our culture and society view sex as it relates to both gender. For one, you have the issue of virginity and how (in the past) it has been used to define a woman. If you were not a virgin, you might as well be chopped liver (that means you're worthless). However, this usually only applies to women. Men did not have to endure the same scrutiny. This is already setting up the basis that men should not have to control their sexual urges and assumes that women do not or should not get sexually aroused, or should be able to control it. Now imagine someone, a male, who is used to having sex whenever, with anyone, without restriction, without society's social stigma. When he gets married, marriage is not going to suddenely make him think that he should be faithful to one person, even if it's his wife. (Of course, I'm not saying every male in our society think like this).

We also have our history of polygamy which began when rich men decided that they had to tell the world that "they've arrived" by marrying multiple women. Rich men who could afford to marry more than one woman and take care of them finanacially, etc,  were able to elevate their status in our society through polygamy. But if you flipped the script, you found that when a woman tried to marry more than one man, she usually received negative attention from society instead. (She is a ho, a harlot, a woman of easy virtue, and so on and so forth). This part of our history has also been used to propel the myth that women should peacefully accept when their (men) run around but that women should never have any reason to run around on their husband. Which goes back to the point he was making.
Hope that's clear enough.

Am surprice we can boast of good, honest boys from the comment posted, especially in these ages of temtation. Keep it up and do not cheat