I was in a serious relationship with a guy whom i love very much . We love n understand each other n to d best of my knowledge we are perfect together.
Few of my family member knew him, we were high school sweetheart.
At some point in our relationship i started thinking he wouldn't marry me as our age difference is not much n he was quite too young to be thinking of getting married .
I told him my fear's n he said i shouldn't worry if he gets on his feet d first tin he do is to get married to me n at this point some of my family members start telling me how he would live me for a younger woman when he is ready for marriage.

I was young n i had many suitors so i decided to try one of them out, he turn out to be very nice n full of love then we started dating, everything was Fine.
I told my boyfriend about him n he said he is ok from what i told him so far about him n i introduced my fiance to him as my friend because apart from being my boyfriend we where friends very good one at that n he is d only person that understand me very well n not scared to tell anything.

Some months down d line we tied d knot n i told my boyfriend we won't be seeing each other anymore since I'm married he said ok n he wish me luck.

I'm so confused now because i don't love my hubby my heart belongs to my boyfriend, i'm so much happy around him even when hubby makes me angry i call him, if hubby travel i invite him, if i have any decision to make i call him to ask of his opinion, if hubby couldn't satisfy me in bed i tell him.

He is practically d man i want n marriage couldn't stop our love because we have grown to be one.

Hubby on d other hand love's me very much and he wouldn't want anything to hurt me, he is very caring n respects my opinion.
I feel d bound between us is not just enough as he doesn't know somethings that makes me happy n sometimes when am angry he just ignore me. REASON: i don't know what to tell u because i'm scared of ur reaction n when we are in bed he wouldn't touch me REASON: I wouldn't have any urge throughout d night if u reject my first attempt.

I'm so confused because up till now hubby don't know how to approach me when I'm angry n this is seriously pushing me to my boyfriend .

Push yourself back to your husband.

Nice, you should have a meeting with the two men. And they can decide what to do

Divorce your hubby and marry your ex-boyfriend.

On a serious note,one thing you need to know is that you should settle it in your head that you are married to your hubby and not your ex-boyfriend.
Think more about your hubby and work more with him.Your ex-boyfriend didn't know all about you in one day,it took some time.Teach your hubby the things you want and communicate more with him.Be patient with him.

This is what you get when you make irrational and hasty decision especially with respect to marriage.

Your impatience and shortsightedness are what you are paying for. How has any member of your family that gave you wrong advice helped you in this situation.

As you lay your bed, you lie on it.


That your boyfriend needs someone to pull him back from you so that you have time to pay close attention to your husband. I hope you are not caught in this your emotional cheating.

Please tell your boyfriend to stay away from you forever.

andromida: Push yourself back to your husband.

Abi. I dnt even know how to advise this lady sef.

cut off all contact with your boyfriend, block his number etc and move on with your life with your husband.

OP. Your impatience from the outset is what led to this utmost confusion you're facing presently.
You forced yourself to love another man while dating your boyfriend who claimed to love you, never stopped there,you went ahead to sign marital documents simply because your sibling told you that your supposed lover-boy will jilt you in no time; I CALL THAT JUVENILE IMPATIENCE!
Not stopping there, when you guys were dating, you told your so-called boyfriend that you'll be getting married to another man and he gave you the go-ahead without any of counter-productive trait?
Now you're married; he agrees not to see you anymore yet you still claim to have feelings of love for him,my friend it isn't love but a PASSING INFATUATION! The earlier you come back to your senses the better,else you will end up losing both men(obviously you've lost your EX).
I advise you reciprocate the love your husband have for you now before it gets too late.
Forget about the past(your EX) and focus on making your FUTURE(marraige) better. Free your mind and "re-love" ya husband the way you did prior to marraige!
You think your EX loves you? NO HE DOESN'T! HE'S JUST A DISTRACTION! HE'LL USE AND RE-DUMP YOU LIKE HE DID(tho in disguise)BEFORE; and trust me,by then YOUR HUSBAND WOULD'VE SHOVE YA A*SS OUTSIDE THE BALCONY!

Op I feel your pain but I'm sorry to say you are destroying your home by your self. you are a married woman, learn how to live like one. you are using your own hand to destroy your home. don't you know the meaning of marriage? your constant communication with your boyfriend is breaking your home, shifting your attention from your husband to him. your boyfriend is your past honey, How can you call him for every decision you make? if your husband doesn't satisfy you, you call him. why op?

You are married already, even the bible says love your husband and not your boyfriend. learn to live and love your husband dear, your problem is that you are living in your past and you don't want to accept the fact that you are married and let go of your past which is your boyfriend.

There is no one you can not live without e.g a woman whose husband to be stood her up on the day of her wedding day, she will feel it but with time, she will move on. Its not like you don't love your husband from what I can see in your post but until you decide to come out of your past, stop living in imaginations, until the day you will make up your mind and say 'yes, I am married, that guy is my past, until the day you will decide that you will put your all into building your home and your marriage, until the day you will decide to love your husband, accept his faults, manage his weaknesses, maximize his strength then you will live a happy life because its not as if you don't have a happy home, you do because you said it that your husband loves you very much.

Its not as if I'm condemning you but I will like you to come out your imaginations and live a happy life. this life na once o my sista and I'm a woman like you.

The solution to your problem lies in you. Make your marriage work Op, the deed has already been done. although, its not easy but the Lord will see you through. I love you Op no lesbo o

Please know that PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE. (((((((((Hugs her )))))))))

#Joke

The fault lies in your ex-boyfriend because sincerely He doesn't love you if he did he would have withdrawn from your life totally so as to allow you concentrate in your marital life thus gradually you will get used to your husband !

But here you are Op , about to make same silly mistake as you made initially : some ladies are born to burn !

Thanks to every one that has advised me as silly as it might sound it's actually what I'm passing through.

I really feel sorry for my husband because he has tied helping me n he really love's me.

I stop communicating with him but after a while we start communicating constantly again. Hubby noticed it n asked me to stop talking to him as i am married but i told him to bear with me because i can't stop talking to him i will only limit it then he agreed.

My husband says i should tell him anything that is bothering me if i'm angry i should communicate it with him but i just don't see myself getting close to him because he is not always around as he is working off shore. When he is not around he used to communicate with me but i just feel like i'm sharing him wit
his work as i want my husband all to myself.
Yes i knew he was working there before the marriage but i never knew it's offshore as he used to tell me i want to be d first person he will see when he wakes up but now i spend some night alone at home n each night i'm alone i hate d marriage so much then my boyfriend will be d one to make me happy.

My boyfriend said if i can't cope with the marriage i should divorce my husband n marry him but he doesn't pray for me to leave him.

Im so confuse right now as i don't even know d reason i will use to divorce my husband apart from the reason i don't want to hurt a good man because even in his absence he cares for me.

factorian: Thanks to every one that has advised me as silly as it might sound it's actually what I'm passing through.

I really feel sorry for my husband because he has tied helping me n he really love's me.

I stop communicating with him but after a while we start communicating constantly again. Hubby noticed it n asked me to stop talking to him as i am married but i told him to bear with me because i can't stop talking to him i will only limit it then he agreed.

My husband says i should tell him anything that is bothering me if i'm angry i should communicate it with him but i just don't see myself getting close to him because he is not always around as he is working off shore. When he is not around he used to communicate with me but i just feel like i'm sharing him wit
his work as i want my husband all to myself.
Yes i knew he was working there before the marriage but i never knew it's offshore as he used to tell me i want to be d first person he will see when he wakes up but now i spend some night alone at home n each night i'm alone i hate d marriage so much then my boyfriend will be d one to make me happy.

My boyfriend said if i can't cope with the marriage i should divorce my husband n marry him but he doesn't pray for me to leave him.

Im so confuse right now as i don't even know d reason i will use to divorce my husband apart from the reason i don't want to hurt a good man because even in his absence he cares for me.

Hmmmmm.

This one na super story ooo......I dont know what to say..

Excuses

long story.marry d two.one in court and the other traditionally.Nothing new.Na today?

Next bedtime tory abegi....

factorian: Thanks to every one that has advised me as silly as it might sound it's actually what I'm passing through.

I really feel sorry for my husband because he has tied helping me n he really love's me.

I stop communicating with him but after a while we start communicating constantly again. Hubby noticed it n asked me to stop talking to him as i am married but i told him to bear with me because i can't stop talking to him i will only limit it then he agreed.

My husband says i should tell him anything that is bothering me if i'm angry i should communicate it with him but i just don't see myself getting close to him because he is not always around as he is working off shore. When he is not around he used to communicate with me but i just feel like i'm sharing him wit
his work as i want my husband all to myself.
Yes i knew he was working there before the marriage but i never knew it's offshore as he used to tell me i want to be d first person he will see when he wakes up but now i spend some night alone at home n each night i'm alone i hate d marriage so much then my boyfriend will be d one to make me happy.

My boyfriend said if i can't cope with the marriage i should divorce my husband n marry him but he doesn't pray for me to leave him.

Im so confuse right now as i don't even know d reason i will use to divorce my husband apart from the reason i don't want to hurt a good man because even in his absence he cares for me.

dnt start a battle u cant win ooo

u better stick wit ur hubby.

if this guy loved u dat much he wud have fought for you, pleaded for u not to leave him,
fought ur suitor to leave his woman alone. not this ok, ok , ok and gud luck he was telling u.

my advise, cut this boyfrd off,

begin to look at ur hubby in a new light, thinking about him more wen he is not wit u.

let him pamper you, play with him and start to love ur new life.

bebe2:

dnt start a battle u cant win ooo

u better stick wit ur hubby.

if this guy loved u dat much he wud have fought for you, pleaded for u not to leave him,
fought ur suitor to leave his woman alone. not this ok, ok , ok and gud luck he was telling u.

my advise, cut this boyfrd off,

begin to look at ur hubby in a new light, thinking about him more wen he is not wit u.

let him pamper you, play with him and start to love ur new life.

Seconded my sista. if she mistakenly divorces her hubby for this bf eh..............them dey always say when food finish eyes go clear.

andromida: Push yourself back to your husband.

noo, please let herpush herrself back to her ex, olodo repete

These hoes not loyal. Smh

mz mariah: Seconded my sista. if she mistakenly divorces her hubby for this bf eh..............them dey always say when food finish eyes go clear.

hahaha my dear, na so life be oooo,

so tay she dey invite the guy over, can u imagine.

the day wey the husband go know the full story and throway her things eh,

and she run reach the guy house and dat one babe beat her up,

she go start to love her husband

bebe2:

hahaha my dear, na so life be oooo,

so tay she dey invite the guy over, can u imagine.

the day wey the husband go know the full story and throway her things eh,

and she run reach the guy house and dat one babe beat her up,

she go start to love her husband

Lolzzzz. you funny die.

The boyfriend eh, na God go judge am.

Something in that Op's story still dey shock me, she say if her hubby no satisfy her she dey tell the boyfriend. in other words the boyfriend dey do am with her when ever the man travel and she invite am over. if na my village she from come she for don die before she even think of writing this story here.

If she marry her boyfriend, she go suffer pass job I swear

Well, if she say she wan divorce the man for her boyfriend, make she go ahead na, before she go reach the door with her load another woman go don dey wait. babes wey full everywhere dey look for were them go Chuck head

mz mariah: Lolzzzz. you funny die.

The boyfriend eh, na God go judge am.

Something in that Op's storey still dey shock me, she say if her hubby no satisfy her she dey tell the boyfriend. in other words the boyfriend dey do am with her when ever the man travel and she invite am over. if na my village she from come she for don die before she even think of writing this story here.

If she marry her boyfriend, she go suffer pass job I swear

Well, if she say she wan divorce the man for her boyfriend, make she go ahead na, before she go reach the door with her load another woman go don dey wait. babes wey full everywhere dey look for were them go Chuck head

u think say the boy go gree marry her,

the boy pple go sit down dey watch their son marry a divorcee??

e no possible naaaahhhhh,

dat boy is just decieving her.

i bet the boy is thinking, if u can do this to this man, u can also do it to me

bebe2:

u think say the boy go gree marry her,

the boy pple go sit down dey watch their son marry a divorcee??

e no possible naaaahhhhh,

dat boy is just decieving her.

i bet the boy is thinking, if u can do this to this man, u can also do it to me

He sure won't marry her. I know his type, he is just a destroyer.

She doesn't know the level of damage she has done if she has had anything sexually to do with her boyfriend.

After divorcing the boyfriend will start telling her story that touch. the best is to cut that guy off now that's its still early o.

I wish there was a slap button on nairaland where some people can be giving dirty slaps.

Op, you wan use your hand destroy your marriage? Shoooo!!?
What makes you think your boyfriend will marry you if you leave your lawfully wedded husband? He has wished you well in your marriage,yet you go back fornicating with him and wishing he married you?
Oh well,use your hand spoil your marriage,e no consign me! Na you sabi o!

Few questions please:

1. How old are you?
2. How long have you been married?
3. Have you slept with your boyfriend since you got married?
4. Do you have any kid yet?

The next thing now is to look for a way to eliminate your husband. See woman, put yourself together and work on your marriage, and
stop bringing in third party into your marital affairs.

Sulugede is the dance of the spirit... OP I hope you are willing to dance that if you don't stop communicating with your boyfriend

Op, I really understand your frustration but you get to take a chill pill. One thing is certain, it is not always greener on the other side and the only reason you're perplexed is because your Ex is still in the picture. It natural, it human and I won't condemn you in your present predicament. You gave your body to your husband but your heart belongs to your ex.

You have to manage the situation and limit your communication with your Ex. It is never easy and more worrisome considering that your ex still have feelings for you too.


When you ex get married, surely you will have no option than to face your marriage. He was never meant for you.

Op please go ahead and divorce your husband.

Nansense. Stories like these pisses me off.

In as Op is digging her grave,pls let's not make her regret coming here,let's advice with love.@ op. I'll advice u to find something doing if u're a full house wife cos it will keep you busy in the abscence of your husband. I don't think your boyfriend is meant for you or else you people would have been married. Stop discussing your marriage with him and stop calling him.You can keep yourself busy with church activities if you're a christain at night u can come to Nairaland to keep your self busy
Condition your mind to love your husband and work on your marriage. Thank God you married a caring husband. I wish you luck