Okay so here i go again, the earlier one was lost. My first novel here, feel free to correct in a constructive manner. So lets get the show on the road. I'm going to start again for the new people who may want to read.

Copyright

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media used in this book are fictitious and are the product of the author's imagination. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, recording or any information storage and retrieval system without prior written permission of the author.
Author's email: torchwriter14@yahoo.com

1


''Tell me what you want'' she whispered holding his neck close to her face. She smelt of talcum powder and something else but as much as I tried, I could not get wriggle my neck from her grasp. Perhaps I wanted it this way; I was tired of fighting her or playing the dumb game.

''Come and see what I have in store for you. I went to the market and even chopped the leaves myself. I did everything from the scratch.''

''You know this is not about food'' I groaned; I could feel everything within me getting weaker by the minute.

''It is about food'' she purred winking at me. ''You can eat your meal at the table or on my bed; take your pick. I want you and there is nothing you can do about it.''

She gave me a kiss and I fell hook, line and sinker. I kissed her deeply and followed her like a young child clinging on to the hands of her mother. We got to her bedroom door and I paused to kiss her again. There was something about her lips, it reminded me of fine wine and I was getting drunk by the minute. She laughed loud and tilted her head backwards ''Phewww! I will not let you kill me'' she teased. She pulled my arms and closed her door with a bang. I was gone!

*************************

I sat on the bed huffing and puffing trying to catch my breath. I had just had my bath yet it felt I was just coming out of the treacherous Lagos heat. She beat me mercilessly and with the terrible news I just received, it was a recipe for disaster. I wanted to run to the bath and bury myself in my tub but then I hissed in frustration. There was no bath! I hated this house and everything that came along with it. It was ok while I was a bachelor but suddenly my needs had changed and with Abike living with me, my prized bachelor pad had become a matchbox! Soon she would be home and I could already imagine the look of optimism on her face. However with my hopes dashed what was I to present? It was annoying to say the least. Sometimes I think I rushed into this thing called marriage too early but then again I don’t think so. I was ready and knew what I wanted; I had dated Abike for so long and could not imagine life without her. We were barely a year into our marriage and the storm of life had rocked my boat but besides that it was all fine until I lost my job. I placed a hand around my neck and it felt clammy; the bathroom was calling me again and I dived in with my birthday suit. I'd had enough of the soap and sponge and so I let the water do the talking this time around. It poured from the shower and made a puddle at my feet. I stared at the mirror opposite wondering when this madness was going to end.

''Who dey house?'' Abike teased. I heard her wiping her feet against the mat outside the bedroom.

''Come in if you are young and beautiful'' I said rising from the bed.

She had a smile plastered on her beautiful face. She was holding a black nylon and the smell of roasted corn wafted across the room. She kicked her slippers outside the door (very typical of her and untypical of me) and planted a kiss on my lips. ''See what I got'' she said stretching out her hands. ''Thank you dear'' I said with a wry smile.

''I know don’t tell me she whispered''

''Yeah yeah!'' I said nodding my head while I reached out for a corn and began attacking it earnestly.
She got up with a sigh and said something about dinner only to return immediately ''but you said it was great, I don’t understand. How could it have gone so well and ended in disappointment? I don’t know what we are doing wrong oh. I am just weak honestly and to think this is the second time this is happening.''

Now this is what I hate about women. A while ago, she told me ''don’t tell me'' and now she was leading the crusade for ''please tell me more'' but I was not willing to oblige. I had a long and tiring day and if I had to be honest, I didn’t give a toss about what she was preparing anyway. I can almost swear it is the burnt out ogbolo soup she is re warming anyway - no thank you and I will not be a partaker. I lost my appetite long ago and I was doing this corn a favour by eating it!

2


I sat starring at her like a young sailor lost at sea. I could look into her eyes all day long. There were brown and beautiful and Lord Almighty, this girl was bold. She was staring at me and smiling like the seductress she knew she was. I've never met a girl this bold in all my years on God's green earth. I've had my few scraps with girls but nothing this intense. For heaven's sake, she pulled her bra and panties on her own! She reminded me of Sharon Stone and so far I think I was failing her. I think she is great but the problem is I am a rookie and with all the stunts she has been pulling, I know she is a pro. She is going to floor me and put me to shame right on this rickety bed.

She is a pale skinned beautiful woman with an amazing leg that I can stare at all day. However for all she is worth, she does not come close to my Abike. Abike, Abike, I push that name aside feeling guilty as sin. I think I have lost this battle already and there is no need crying over spilled milk. I am in the arms of lust and she has a firm grip on me.

''Are you just going to keep staring at me all day long'' she says tickling me with her small toes.

''I want to get it right'' I say with a smile.

''And you have gotten it right lover boy. That was the best pre-intimacy of my life'' she said with a laugh. ''Would you rather eat first'' she says trying to stand up. I hold her down to the bed and whisper ''no''.

''I've not done this before, cant you tell?''

''Nooooo! You are joking dude'' she says playfully slapping my chest.

''And why would I joke. Every man started as a boy''

''But your girlfriend, you mean you guys have not…''

''No and let's not talk about her'' I said in a guilt ridden voice. ''Please anything else but not her.''

''I am sorry that was not my intention. I feel honoured you would pick me to be your first and I would give you a treat - one that you would never forget. I want you to relax and let me school you. Where is your condom?''
Immediately, I felt severely stupid; so daft I wanted to bang my head against the wall repeatedly. I was not planning on doing this today and of course I came unprepared. I tried to stand on my feet but she pushed me back towards the pillow.
''I told you to relax'' she said quietly. She pulled open a drawer by her side and brought out a packet of condom; nothing like the popular brand we are used to seeing in this region. She pushed the wrapper aside and sat astride me. I began to speak in tongues in my head.

******************************************

''So what was their reason again?'' Abike asked for the umpteenth time.

''They gave me none'' I said exasperated to the core. I didn’t know if I was tired of her incessant questions or the fact I didn’t quite know how the process went downhill.

We just returned from church but I wished it was a weekday instead. At least she would have been at her baking school and I would be stalking the internet for a job - any job. I was getting desperate at this stage and was slowly getting off my high horse. I am ashamed to say the last interview was for the position of a Customer Care Representative. Oh yes, I was that desperate! Having worked in the banking industry for so many years and having to retire unceremoniously, (through no fault of mine I must add) I believed I could jump right in the job wagon but I must confess it was proving more difficult than I first imagined. It was only 6 months and yet I was beginning to feel the heavy burden on my fragile shoulders. The banking industry was a real b itch and she had tossed me around really bad. They always say live your professional career in the bank as though it were your last day but it didn’t make sense until that fateful morning.

I had worked at Bode Thomas branch straight out of NYSC. It was only 3 years but I was just getting my feet off the ground when tragedy struck. I didn’t even see the unfortunate email (who does that? Sends an email informing you of your compulsory redundancy) before my colleague Dipo burst into my cubicle with the now famous phrase ''damn it! I just got fired. What about you? Guy e go rough oooooooo!''
Immediately I began to sweat; I just bought a car, renewed my lease for a year and spent a huge chunk of my savings on my dream wedding to Abike two months ago.

''Check your email now, you just dey come from lunch? The thing don drop reach close to 25 minutes now o.'' Dipo continued tapping his foot by my side.

I looked around and saw Mariam (the lace wig wearing bleached skinned babe) crying while Madam (my immediate boss) was banging her fist on the table. Dipo was still there starring at me with his eyes as wide as saucers; waiting to welcome me into the army of disengaged soldiers. Olorun maje nor be me. Carry your load go front.

I got up with great difficulty and excused myself. By the time I returned, Dipo was gone and I could no longer access my email. So while others were crying, complaining, calling their loved ones, moaning, and asking questions on their last pay, I was left wondering yet refusing to believe I was part of the disbanded army.
I didn’t tell Abike anything that night and the next day I returned to work with my well starched stripped shirt. A lady I had never seen before approached my desk the moment I sat down and began toying with my keyboard.

''I'm afraid I don’t think that will work.''

''Pardon me'' I asked praying against my worst fear.''

''I am Efe the new manager running this department. I believe you were among the persons who received the email yesterday?''

''I didn’t receive any email'' I said slowly starring into her eyes.

She was a pudgy woman perhaps in her mid forties or even earlier. When you are that big, there is a tendency to be mistaken for a much older person so I can be excused for my earlier calculation. She was not pretty but neat - as neat as a pin.

''I'm sorry but I am just going to run through my list again'' she said retreating like a scared cow. ''Sorry what did you say your name was again?''

''I didn’t tell you my name'' I replied with a blank stare. She paused and looked at me with an equally blank expression on her face and then she walked towards me ready for a showdown.

''I don’t mean to be funny or argue with you but I am well acquainted with everyone on my list. You are not on that list and not in my department. We can make this tougher but I don’t know why you would want that. Why don’t you try logging in with your ID and password and if that does not work, then you know what you should have known yesterday.''

I continued starring at her while she starred back at me waiting for me to carry out her instruction. B itch there is no way you gonna make me type crap! She turned and walked away in disgust seeing that I had refused to move a muscle. Yeah that’s right, run and tell your superiors to come and speak to me. I got this job the old fashioned way and not like some of you slu ts now turned managers. You want me to leave, go tell Mr Yakubu and co to fire me with dignity!
************************************

''God have mercy on us'' she said walking into my arms. She pushed them aside and sat on my laps while planting kiss on my lips. Then she smoothened the imaginary lines underneath my eyes and kissed me again; this time passionately.

''It's being a while my husband. Abi we nor go do again because of condition?'' I laughed out loud; she always made me smile anytime she spoke in pidgin. It was the quickest way to break the wall between us.

''I wan do you but I ache everywhere dear.''

''Let me give you a massage then'' she said kissing me again. I'd had enough by this time and I gently pulled away heading for the parlour.

''Please dear, not today. I can't see this happening today.''

''Okay so when?'' she asked walking behind me. I knew this mood quite well and I prayed she would leave me alone.

''Don’t do this Abike, not tonight. Don’t be like this''

''I'm not doing nothing. I am just asking when would be a convenient time. Do I write out a time table or something and stick it above our bed? Sometimes I think you are self centred but you don’t realize it. I am the one swinging from molue all day while you sit pretty in your car. I get tired myself but I hardly say no but when it's my turn, all I hear is stories.''

''Abike I drop you off every morning and it's not my fault you can't drive. Secondly when was the last time I demanded for s ex? Say the truth and let the devil be ashamed. I am worked up like a blo ody farmer during a famine. I have no job and we are living on my fast depleting savings. Why do you think it is a great time to do this and possibly make a baby.''

''Please, please say anything and everything but don’t even go there. God who gives children will take care of them. I told you what your mother said the other day didn’t I? When a woman is not pregnant, who do people begin to stare at? You make me a laughing stock while you come out smelling like roses. We've carried on this charade for far too long and I am tired'' she cried.

I was utterly disgusted. Sometimes Abike made me wonder who I feel in love with. ''You know what, I give up on you. You are a graduate and I believe a matured woman yet you allow people's opinion push you around. I didn’t impose this on you, we agreed as a family to hold this thing off until one of us had a stable job and now look at what you are saying. I am doing this for our own good Abike and you know there is no hidden agenda here. If you go ahead and get prgnant, how will you train the child? Is it my savings or your 50 kobo cake you virtually give out for free?

''50kobo cake?'' She asked raising an eyebrow. She opened her mouth to say something but shut it again. Immediately I felt stupid. She was doing her best to stay afloat and the last thing she needed was an unsupportive husband. She was a graduate of Library studies and in typical Nigerian style, she had struggled to find a job after her NYSC days. Her course was an obstacle and she knew it.

I remember those nights she cried each time she opened her book ''this is not what I wanted to study. I hate this course, tell me what sort of job I would get with a course like this?'' Alas she was not willing to take JAMB again and I didn't support that. I had studied her and I believed she could achieve her goal irrespective of the degree she got. It was not like she longed to be a surgeon or lawyer else I would have encouraged her to take JAMB again.

It was a good thing she had a knack of business and was interested in anything that could be baked. I encouraged her the moment she landed in Lagos and fortunately I had the money to pay for her exorbitant baking fees when I did.

''Dear I am sorry. When I said not tonight, I hope you see what I meant. I am not in the right frame of mind and I am open to saying a whole load of drivel if given the opportunity. By the way your cakes are great and you know it.''
She walked towards me and sat by my side holding my hand.

''I am not angry. I know when you talk and when you allow anger overwhelm you. The cakes are cheap now but that is because I am building my customer base. And I know they are not so terrible because you gobble them up!''

I smiled at her but she remained pensive ''a child is a blessing my husband. Who knows if this child we are preventing is the one that will herald our good fortunes? You are not God and you can't plan for everything. Look at where your well laid career plans have taken you to. Let us allow God do this thing and trust him like a baby would.''

I looked at her and the last trace of anger melted away. She could be annoying (like me) but this was why I married her. She was beautiful, virtuous, hardworking, intelligent and wise beyond her years.

''Abike you will do everything to get in my pants tonight and that includes quarrelling or giving a pep talk'' I said with a laugh.

Finally she smiled - another storm had been averted.

3


''The girl fine sha.'' Charles said sucking the life out of his bone. Afterwards he began to crack it like a local dog.

''She fine die.'' I responded quickly nodding my head in agreement.

''You like what you see ehn? Is that your school girl friend slowly fading away?'' he asked with a smile playing on his lips.

I looked at him in disbelief ''fade away for where? That girl is my one and only true love but this babe… this babe set die. Did you see that waist calling out to me?'' Nor be me dey cry 'your waist your waist' na the waist dey cry give me. We began laughing again and I nearly choked on my meal. I pushed the plate aside and yelled out to Mama Patience.

I discovered this place like a dog chasing a bone and I've never eaten anywhere since. I had gone further to recruit my roommate, Charles although Mama Patience didn’t seem to appreciate my effort. When i asked her for a discount she was quick to remind me, ''na my market dey bring dem come. Food wen sweet, dey use im own mouth call customer. If I reduce all my customer money, how I go train my children make dem do NYSC like una?''

I was serving in the South South region of Nigeria and there was nothing exciting about this place yet. However I was glad to be out of my mother's hair and that city that refused to let me out of her grasp. Well it was partly my fault; this was the only place I knew. Although I was not an indigene, I was born tere, raised there, attended primary, secondary school and University. Virtually everything I know revolved around Benin and its environs.
I tried to leave during my tertiary years but everybody said I would be the biggest fool to ignore the greatest University this side of the region and so I stayed put. I went ahead to study Banking and Finance at the prestigious University of Benin and needless to say, I enjoyed my time there.
So permit me to take back my earlier statement and say this has been the most exciting place I have visited since my last trip to Lagos. It was rugged, the mosquitoes were merciless, the power was epileptic, the students were not ready to learn and the accommodation (provided by the school) was a mess but I loved it here. The air was clean, the fruits were fresh, and water pure. I had eaten all manner of fish and had even discovered mussels and crabs! I am ashamed to admit, I never realized Nigeria was this blessed.

''Madam, shebi you go fry akara tomorrow?'' Charles asked while reaching for his wallet.

I met his during our time at Camp. He was this rich kid from Lagos who tried to pretend he was not and I liked him straight away. He was witty, honest and forthright. If you didn’t know him well enough, you may think he was proud but I thought he was a great guy. We were posted to the same Secondary School and when we were lead to our abode, I nearly wept.

''No chance!'' Charles announced and I knew he meant it, so I stuck around like glue to an envelope. Soon enough, we found an accommodation outside the school premises but it was outside my reach. I had to beg my mother so hard, my mouth nearly fell off my face!

''The school did not provide accommodation for you people?'' She asked, ''I find that hard to believe son.''

I could not lie to her. She had struggled to cater for myself and my two younger brothers with the paltry salary of a civil servant. I was the graduate now and I should not be the one making demands on her. In actual fact, I should the one paying for my younger one's fees but alas I could not help myself.

''Mum, if you see this place they want human beings to stay ehn, you will weep for your boy. I can't even keep my dog there!''

''Okay, let me see what I can come up with at the end of this month. Now talking about dog, we lost another puppy last night.'' Another alsatian dog gone just like that? Nor be money I use take train their mama and now it's time to reap my harvest I can't?

I was livid but I had to contain myself and direct my anger at the appropriate quarters - my younger brothers. ''Thanks mum but what happened again nah? I leave Benin and they allow those dogs die like agric fowl? Mum, please give the phone to Edward or Junior.''


The new accommodation was situated in an enclosed compound with small self contained flats scattered around - a typical student abode with more ladies occupying most rooms. It comprised of a small room, kitchenette, shower and toilet. It was basic but it was a palace compared to the accommodation provided by the school. Charles was kind enough to complete the deposit and first rent without my contribution. I don't think he cared about what I had to offer since he would have gone ahead without my help. However, I didn’t like to live off the good will of any man, so I promised to pay at the end of the month just like my mother had promised.

***************************

Abike was moving the dummy around while trying to smoothen the fondant with a white object.

''A turn table would have been better'' she said with the concentration of a surgeon.

''A what?'' I asked. Every day I was inundated with one new instrument or another. I was fast losing their names but I was glad she was making progress.

I was also grateful for she was an understanding wife especially in these trying times. She had nerves of steel and rarely made unnecessary demands. Initially, when we began dating, I felt she was shy and would display her true colour but she proved me wrong. I was fascinated by this trait and spent money on her whenever I could. It pained me I could not carry on like I used to, especially now she was my wife. Na now she suppose enjoy my money nah.

''It's taking shape'' she announced patting the pink fondant with her hand. I eyed her from the corner of my eye and saw a portion coming off but I said nothing.

''I am going to mould my character and place it on the top tomorrow or perhaps i should practise on the bow'' she said dusting her hands on her skirt and walking in my direction.

''What do you think?'' she asked pointing at the pink object on the dining table.

''I called Charles this afternoon'' I replied, not meaning to ignore her last question. My mind was miles away and I hoped she understood.

''What did he say this time?'' She asked in an excited tone.

''Same old crap, they are not recruiting at the moment but this time around, I was relentless. Am I your friend when the going is good? Fancy calling me to complain about the cold and his oyibo baby mama while I remain jobless and stuck in this hellhole.'' Give me three baby mama's and your navy kapli if your life is that bad! You think you are suffering with your clean car, good roads, constant electricity, small mortgage and decent job? Then come and trade places with me nah?

''My husband, I hope you were not rude o! Don't make him feel guilty for your present predicament. Na help e wan help you before.''

''Abike bone jareeeee!'' I cried out. ''If that guy was in Nigeria, he would have gotten that job like that'' I said snapping my fingers in anger.

''My brother is enjoying Canada and he has forgotten all about our life in the village.''

********************************************

''Morning!'' She cried squeezing past me. She carried a blue bucket and I swallowed hard when I saw her backside. So far she has been teasing me without mercy. It was either her pretty face from afar or her retreating figure. I wanted to run after her and strike up a conversation but I felt it would have been too awkward. There should be an offence against ladies moving around in nothing but flimsy wrapper especially after having a bath. I heard the ''swish swish, swish'' sound of her slippers as she turned into a corner. I was mesmerized; I didn’t even have the decency to reply her greeting - how rude!

It was only a week after we moved in and the inhabitants of our small compound were having a party later that weekend. I was ironing my yellow shirt before NEPA showed me who was boss and Charles didn’t seem to understand why I was this excited.

''What is the occasion?'' he asked in confusion. He was a great guy but he could be a weirdo when he chose to.

''My guy, I don’t know, must there be a reason for a party? That private boarding house cum University you attended has seriously messed you up. Guys and babes want to hang out and you are waiting for a reason. No reason oh, bring shirt come out make I help you iron. You won't be looking like a fisherman by my side!''

The party was well into swing by the time we arrived. It was at a shack close to the river. There was beer and all manner of fish roasting on the grill. I picked up a cold beer and loaded the flimsy white plate with grilled fish and some pepper sauce. It smelled divine and my tummy rumbled in agreement. I got a good view of most of my neighbours and a few corp members I didn’t know. The loudest group were the corpers living in the school accommodation. There was Tony, the smart alec who liked to think he was better than every corp member posted to the village. I disliked that guy in ways I can't explain.

Next it was Eunice, the Home Economics teacher who was always eager to please. She was a chatter box and a complete nutter, only you didn’t know this until you sat by her side. I don’t know who invited these guys and I was disappointed already. I saw the pretty lady who gave me her pen the other day. I think she is great but clearly not my type. She was one of these young kids that gained admission into the University straight away but ended up acting like secondary school children. A typical case of passing through the University and not allowing it pass through you. I didn’t remember her name and in all honesty, I could not be bothered. I recall her singing to me on the first day we met

''I've never been to this region before and my mother warned me thoroughly. One has got to be very careful you know.'' Yeah right, neither have I. Now scoot you big baby!

Then I saw her from the corner of my eyes. Her long legs emerged from the river and I was mesmerized. My mother also warned me about something and that was swimming. I could not swim to save my life and here she was, like a goddess emerging from the river. She was bold, daring and beautiful; fancy wearing a two piece bathing suit. What, you got to be kidding me! Come and see mami water and boy I am not scared o! I saw one or two 'not so cute' girls (with their dripping t-shirts and short knickers) hanging around her and I was ashamed on their behalf. You had to have the body of a goddess to walk by her side else you were up for scrutiny and early elimination. I mean why do these girls wear t-shirts, dress and even jeans and think it's okay to swim?

''Do you see what I see?'' Charles sang close to my ear causing me to flinch. I quickly recovered and quietly sang back ''a star, a star, dancing in the night'' we burst out laughing making some corpers look in our direction. I thought I saw her smile but I could not be sure, so I pushed my dark shades from my forehead to my eyes and carried on looking at her figure. Yeah, show me what you got girl. Reach out for the tongs and pick another fish from the grill. Make sure you bend real low while you are at it, now turn around and sashay to your seat.

It was 12 midnight and pitch dark and I had enough partying for the night. The beer and fish were long gone along with most corp members. There were a few making out under the large umbrella and it was getting disgusting or was I speaking from a 'bad belle' point of view because I was getting none? We had walked a good distance when I heard a soft voice ''going away so soon?''

It was the first time I saw her face to face and my heart skipped a beat. Charles had surprise written all over his face but he quickly recovered and made up an excuse while hurrying to join another group ahead. She was more beautiful than I first imagined. Her hair was damp and hung loosely to her left shoulder. She was wearing a white bikini top and a black pair of jeans. I mean who walks around in a village at this hour wearing such sinful apparel? One may be tempted to call her a sl ut but knowing this was a bikini as opposed to a bra made it seem more acceptable. Her skin shone in the dark and I noticed she was nearly as tall as I was.

''I have to be up early.'' I said when I finally found my voice.

''Ahh the good teacher ehn?'' She said smiling seductively.

''And who said I was a teacher?'' I asked.

''Oopsy!'' she said placing a well manicured hand over her mouth. However she recovered soon enough and came up with another line. ''Well it is a small community and everyone knows the other so don’t feel heady jo.''

''That’s right, you are either a teacher or a teacher'' I said shaking my head.

''Well not really'' she replied looking into the distance. ''You can also be a worker at the Local Government Secretariat; arranging files, dusting tables and chairs or filling the tumbler for your boss.''

''Ahhh that one'' I said scratching my head. ''I nearly forgot. Well you must be some hot shot to be at the Secretariat. You got to be influential to pull that off'' I said green with envy.

''Don’t say that oh, you guys think it's an amazing place to work but believe me it's nothing to write home about. We do nothing in that place at least you get to teach and impact knowledge. I'm nearly going brain dead just being in there.'' She said with a laugh.

''Then lets exchange come Monday'' I said, stretching my arms towards her for a handshake. ''Ferdinand is my name by the way.''

''That is an unusual name'' She said placing her hand in mine and leaving it to linger for an unusually long amount of time. I pulled away and smiled. Her fingers were cold and I saw her shiver. I took off my yellow long sleeved shirt and draped it across her shoulder. I was lucky I was wearing a plain white t-shirt. ''It’s a nice thing you got on but you can freeze to death'' I said eyeing her bikini top. I noticed she had small boo bs tucked neatly in her bikini. There were so small i could barely see her cleavage. Small boob s were not really my thing but with this girl, I was willing to accept anything!

''I know, I know'' she said. All of a sudden, she did something that excited yet confused me. She wore the shirt and moved closer to my side. It was too quick and I didn't see it coming. I was confused and didn't know what to do. I didn't know if it was okay to pull her closer or if it could be construed as being too forward. I've played around with a few women but I've never had anyone act in such a brazen manner before. I went for months at a stretch before Abike allowed me hold her waist. It took a longer time before I was able to kiss her and after two years of serious dating, my closest brush had been an unclasped bra. Chei, Abike you too dey suffer me. Why would I not remain a master at for eplay and nothing more?

She moved closer and put her arm around my waist. Finally, I pulled her even closer and put my arm around her shoulder.

''You didn't ask.'' She said in a voice barely audible.

''What?'' I asked leaning closer.

''Petra.'' She whispered. ''Petra is the name.''

4

''I'm sorry, but you were not successful this time around.'' The receptionist said scattering some papers on her table. This time around abi? Another time go dey before? God nor go let una use me take play ball. After several unanswered calls and emails I was at the venue of my last interview. It was an Audit firm on the Island along the ever busy Sokoya Road.

It was not like I jumped from one great company to another with ease. I got some stupid interviews every now and then but the financial ones were not common. Quite regrettable I must add because that was what I was really interested in. A member of our local congregation had collected my CV before I was invited for this interview. I guess it didn’t matter that I had sent my CV (online) to this same company over and over again without as much as an acknowledgment.

''Really, what happened this time around?'' I asked in confusion. ''I don’t think you guys are being fair, you know. I had to leave my house all the way from the Mainland to the Island to hear this. All you guys had to do, was at least send an email or SMS.'' I spoke softly because this was the receptionist and she was a young girl like me. I was careful to also use the words 'you guys' as opposed to 'you'. It didn’t leave her under the line of fire however it didn’t absolve her either. At the end of the day, she owed me nothing and I was careful to appeal more to her emotional side than act like a complete jackass.

''I am sorry.'' She said again ''but I am only a messenger here. Nevertheless, I will give your feedback to the Human Resource Department. I understood how you feel because I live on the Mainland myself.''

It looked like she was about to cry and I felt sorry for her. I was about to take my leave when I saw the gentleman (I wrote the test with) walking with a lady carrying a file. I was amazed; I could not believe my eyes. I knew he had been employed because during the final interview, they had mentioned the day I was due to resume if successful. I don’t mean to sound haughty but that man knew nothing and that is me sounding generous in my description. He was virtually whispering in my ear during the selection process and copying from me during the written test. So how did he land this job? I wanted to know.

''Is that not the HR woman?'' I asked pointing at the young lady with the 'copy copy' gentleman.

''I'm afraid she is not'' the receptionist answered avoiding my face. She was such a bad liar.

''For God sake, that is the woman I handed my documents over to during my interview.'' I said clearly exasperated. ''I even know her name.'' I concluded in anger.

''You will need an appointment to speak to a member of staff Mr Ferdinand Ok…''

''Mrs Obikwe!'' I yelled surprising myself. I took long strides in her direction and she looked up from her file with confusion etched on her young face. She reminded me of what Abike would have been like if she decided to tread the professional route. I didn’t think she was older than me but in my quest to find a job, age was inconsequential.

''Good afternoon ma. It's in regards to the interview I had with you last week. I was wondering if you could talk to me about the criteria for your final selection.''

She could not deny that she didn’t know me. She personally conducted the 2nd stage of my interview and was full of praises. I eyed the gentleman who was starring with his mouth agape. Shift jo! I nor come look Uche face o, so stare all you want! If you like, continue to open mouth until fly enter inside. She appeared shocked herself but I could see she was in better control of her emotion. She excused herself from the gentleman and we moved some steps away. I could see the gentleman smiling with the new staff tag around his neck.

''I believe you received an email explaining our position.'' She announced quickly cutting to the chase.

''No I didn't.''

''You should have received a text then.''

''I'm afraid not. I even had …''

She raised her hand cutting me short. ''I am sorry about the omission Mr Oki. It a regrettable error on our part and as the person who oversees the recruitment process, I take full responsibility for that.'' She finished starring me in the face.

I was grateful someone had the grace to apologize - a rare feat in the white collar organisation.

''If it means that much to you, I will ensure you receive a rejection email the moment I am back at my desk. However, I don’t see what that would do for you after this conversation we've just had.''

''Well, I don’t see the need. I thank you for your time but I will like to ask one last question. Is there anything you can tell me that could help in subsequent interviews? I mean, I thought it went well but apparently it didn't. Can you give me any information at all Mrs Obikwe? I could see sheer shock written all over her face and for the first time I saw her lose her composure.

''I am sorry but … I don’t know what you want me to say. It is not in my position to say anything of that nature. It is not our job to make personal observation or recommendations on a candidate's performance.''

''It's okay you can tell me anything that would help - off the record of course.'' I continued like a young rouge, trying to play a fast one on an unsuspecting member of the public.

''Mr Oki, there is no time for this. I have made the position of the company quite clear already. If it would interest you, you were not the only person that was not accepted.''

I took note of her careful approach to breaking bad news. Using positive indicators while conveying terrible tidings. For instance 'not accepted' as opposed to 'rejected' - she was indeed a master of her craft. I was beginning to hate anyone associated with recruitment process. As someone who had practically strolled into his first role, I was not used to these sort of tactics.

''I am going to be honest with you Mrs Obikwe. For instance that gentleman at the side was asking me questions the whole time we were here on interview.'' I whispered in a low tone. ''How is it possible he is there today and I am here? Why bother to advertise for a role if you know the successful candidates already? Where is merit in the scheme of things? How can Nigeria ever improve, if we keep giving the available positions to those who are clearly unqualified?''

I had long lost the plot but I had nothing else to lose. What was she going to do to me anyway - beat me? I didn't think so. I only hoped my words would have the desired effect and touch her hard heart but I had stepped on the tail of a scorpion.

Mrs Obikwe pointed a finger at me and spoke in a harsh tone. ''I don’t have to put up with this anymore. I have granted you audience when there was no duty on my part to do so. I have spoken to you like a gentleman believing you are one and I hope I am not mistaken. I can call the guards and walk you out of this building this very minute, but I would give you one last opportunity to do so on your own.''

I walked out without a word into the scorching Lagos sun.

*********************************

*********************************

Petra sat on a chair swinging her long legs about. She was wearing a short dress that left little to the imagination. She had become a regular fixture in our small room, sometimes even sleeping off. At such times, I would leave her, gently closing the door behind.

''Guy your babe is around'' Charles would say teasing me.

''Don't you dare.'' I would say in jest. ''You know I am in a committed relationship Charles.''

''Well I hear you say that but you never act it.'' He would reply shaking his head.

''And what would you like me to do? Push her out of the room? That would be killing an ant with a hammer you know. I am a gentleman o.''

''Guy your conscience dey worry you so free me. If I put pepper inside your nose, you know how to ward me off don't you?''

I knew he was saying the truth but I was drawn to her like a moth to flame. I enjoyed her company and her hilarious tales from the Secretariat. I loved the stories she told from her days at the University. I enjoyed the way we teased and the rough play we played at times. For instance, there was a day we took a cab to a neighbouring town at her insistence. It was a task she had been assigned to courtesy of the Local Government Secretariat. We got into a small car packed full of passengers. We were barely out of the village when she dumped her handbag on my lap and slipped a hand beneath my trouser. No one in the back seat knew what was going on or so I hoped. I stole a quick glance at her and she smiled and squeezed harder. I don't know how I made the 20 minute journey in one piece - thank God for long shirt worn.
So how could I drive her away - she was the occasional bolt of lightning to my dark days in the village.

Today, she was playing a game on my phone but I could not tell her to stop. She had downloaded 'Talking Tom' and played it anytime she was around. She would occasionally laugh and Tom would mimic her laughter. I hated that game because it ran down my battery but I loved to see her play it! Suddenly, my phone began to ring and everyone in the room, knew who it was. It was Abike's favourite tune and her caller tone. It was an oldie but a baddie especially if you were born in the early 80's. It was Cyndi Lauper's 'Time after Time'.

Lying in my bed, I hear the clock tick and I think of you
Caught up in circles confusion is nothing new
Flashbacks warm nights…

Petra coughed twice and handed the phone over to me while I stepped out of the room.

''My babe what's up?'' I asked.

''Not much, just checking up on you. How was your night?'' Abike asked yawning.

''Well blissfully unaware of my surroundings until mosquitoes began to feast on me.''

''Seriously have you started using the mosquito net yet? I bought the treated one o, so don't tell me mosquito. You should take better care of yourself dear. I can't be around all the time to ensure you do these little things.

''It's okay sweet pea, don’t bother about me. I am as tough as an old boot.'' I said laughing.

''Well that's not what you said the last time you had malaria and you were shivering in my arms. Remember that episode in school, when I nursed you like a baby and made pepper soup for you?'' She paused for a while and continued. ''Baby I miss you so bad, I ache physically. I am thinking of coming down this weekend because of the public holiday this Friday. It's going to be one long weekend and I can barely contain myself.''

''Ermm! Don't do that Abike. I think it's a great idea but I am trying to cut down on the travelling around. You know I am coming at the end of the month so don't bother your pretty …''

''Wham!'' Petra slapped my butt as she walked out of the room. She paused by my side and slipped a hand into my back pocket. I froze like a wooden statue as she pinched my butt. ''Abike hold on'' I said putting my hand over the speaker. ''Where are you going?'' I shouted as she brushed past me.

''What do you care?'' She answered walking in the direction of her room.

I returned back to my room with my heart beating fast. These days it was a usual occurrence but I was not complaining. Charles was preparing something in the tiny kitchen. It was his favorite past time but he sucked at it. I could perceive the burnt yam even while I was outside so one can imagine how the house smelt.

''Guy you wan die abi?'' Charles asked while dumping some leaves into the pot.

''I am not complaining am I?''

''I see wetin she do you just now.''

''Uhmn!'' I said not willing to divulge any more information. I knew where he stood on this issue but he was too much of a gentleman and didn't want to rub it in like a contentious or moral person would do. There was this thing about me, i was free to talk about a girl before i had anything to do with her. However from the moment i began dating, my sexual affair was off the table. I never understood guys who bragged about things they do in private.

''She likes you, you know. I think the fact you are in a committed relationship appeals to her. Some girls are wired like that.'' He reached out for a dirty napkin and wiped a large spoon which he promptly inserted into the pot. I made a mental note to avoid that meal like a plague.

''Charles, I beg drop topic.'' I said punching something on my phone. I could see my battery was nearly red, no thanks to Petra.

''So when are you going to smash it? I've never seen a guy playing hard to get like this in all my life.''

''And how do you know I have not smashed it yet?'' How dare you question my masculinity, my ability to do and undo?

''Ahhh! Well you can call me an ajebutter, but I am no novice. When you smash it, her body will give off the signals. That time, she go relax small but right now you see she is running around like a dog on heat - I bet you can smell her scent ehn?

I threw an empty plastic bottle at him and he shrugged it off and carried on stirring his concoction.

Ok so this was where we stopped the last time, now we continue.

5

I liked Abike and heaven knew this but there was no way I was going to oblige her request this time around. I don't think she realized how frustrating the relationship had become for me. When I was still at the University, I was under a tight leash but I didn't mind. I was used to her refusals and satisfied with the lack of s ex status quo in our relationship. I didn't know any better and I could not blame her.
I loved her far too much and had grown used to the reasons she gave me. She never lied to me or promised me anything. Actually she promised me something while I was asking her out - she told me point blank she was only going to have sex with her husband! I thought she would tire and fall down by the way side but she had nerves of steel. I have lost count of times we nearly did it before she pushed me aside and picked her blouse off the floor. Please take note of the word 'blouse' for I have never seen Abike's pant!

However for the first time I was out of her grasp in this wet region. My days were long and boring while the nights were cold and lonely. I tried for so long but Petra was not helping and I was supporting her. I had my weekend planned and I was not going to allow Abike ruin it by another long, frustrating and sexually unsatisfying trip! Like my good friend, Charles would say ''No chance!''

************************
''Guy you need to help me if not the next thing you will hear is my obituary.''

''God forbid bad thing Ferdinand. Don't use your mouth to curse yourself'' Charles said in disgust. We were talking via Skype and I could see his baby in the background playing with some toys on the ground.

''Your pickin don put something for mouth o'' I said pointing at my screen.

''Shoot!'' he cried out dropping his headphone on the floor. He picked his daughter and cradled her in his arm.

''She is gorgeous'' I said.

''And fussy'' he finished. ''Fussy like her mother!''

''Perhaps if you put a ring on it, she would be less fussy. You had nothing but praise for her some months ago, so where is this frustration coming from?'' I asked not expecting an answer.

''Story for another day but I gotta rush now. My woman will be home very soon plus I got to get ready for work. If she walks in and sees me chatting, you know what that means? She's gonna conclude I've been neglecting the baby all day. I promise to call my dad again before the weekend. Ferdinand, I am on your case like ashawo when dey find work and that is the truth.''
I burst out laughing at his last statement but he carried on with a straight face in typical Charles style. He held the baby's hand and waved it from side to side saying '' bye-bye Uncle Ferdinand.''

''Later my brother.'' I said wiping the tears off my face. This man you nor go use laugh kill me. Abike was going to walk through the door any minute and I have been on my boxers all morning. I was ashamed of myself but what could I do. She returned two hour later with some cupcakes in a white carton designed especially for cupcakes. I was stunned at the elegant designs.

''It looks great'' I said in admiration.

''Thank you, even my oga was pleased with my work. I had the best designs in class and that is the truth.

''You are doing so well and I aint tryna wash you babe.'' Charles Americana lingo was beginning to rub off on me after an hour long conversation.
She looked at me and hissed in a playful manner then carried on talking. ''I know, the difference is in the nozzle. You know it’s the fake one I have, that’s why it never comes out so well when I practise at home. There is this chic with the proper Wilton brand her mother brought from jand. Come and see me gumming body'' she said clapping her hands.

I didn't miss the subtle message she had passed - knowingly or unknowingly. In times like this i felt helpless and completely useless. These were things i could easily do without batting an eyelid when i still had a job.

''How much is the proper one? I asked.

''My husband, leave that one first. Let me manage the plastic one until my orders begin to roll in. Let me gist you, I stopped by the Church for our sisters meeting and guess what?''

''Put me out of my misery, I can't figure what it is.''

''I got my first orderrrrrrr!'' She cried doing a small dance around the coffee table. I smiled at her display. ''Woman, so did you go to church to sell market or attend your sister's meeting?'' I asked in jest.

''Both of them oh! Both of them and baba God nor go vex. I am going to make some cupcakes and small chin-chin by the side for 6,000 naira just like that.'' I was proud of her. The last time I earned a penny was 8 months ago so I didn’t take this for granted - even if it was 60 naira.

''Come here'' I said. She walked into my arms and I kissed her deeply. ''Well done, well done my dear wife.''

*********************************************
We were closer to the end of our service year and I was excited. As the weeks ran into months, I was getting tired of my life at the village and longed for more. Charles was away for the weekend and I was bored stiff. I called Petra but she was full of stories. I was getting tired of her anyway but I needed her for times like this. I had tried in vain to get her to change her plans the moment Charles travelled but so far, I had been unsuccessful. She told me she was spending the weekend at the city with her cousins.

We had come a long way since that night when I gave her my shirt. It was a mutually beneficial relationship made up of passion and lust. I threw on a shirt and picked up my wallet. I called some friends and we decided to meet at ''run down town''. It was at the centre of the village where the youths usually hung out. I hardly came this far but I was willing to go anywhere but stay in my room today.

I was on my 2nd and last bottle of stout when Petra walked in with an elderly gentleman. I was seated in a conspicuous corner so there was no hiding. She was wearing a little black number commonly referred to as LBD. Her fair cleavage was spilling out and I was mildly surprised. She was not particularly blessed in that department (well nothing like Abike) so I wondered how she was able to pull it off. Men, girls and their packaging sef dey tire me.
I and my friends pretended like we didn’t see anything while she carried on without a care in the world. The man was old enough to be her father but obviously, not in her dictionary. Most village youths stopped by their table and yelled out ''Baba, I dey hail o.'' I got tired and blurred out after a while ''who is that man sef?''

''Ahh baba himself'' a colleague named Kingsley answered. He is the member representing this state at the Senate. We go just hail am before we commot. I for say make we go greet am now, but dat small girl nor go let person see road. You know he is the one that gives us something small at the end of the month. He stays in the city but comes around from time to time especially since this chick catch am.''

''Uhmn!'' I said eyeing them form the corner of my eye.

Petra was rubbing his hairy arms and acting like a cheap sl ut. I was disgusted at her behaviour. She didn't make any attempt to hide anything and even caught my eyes and stared ahead like she never met me. I knew she was no saint but I never imagined she was a runs girl.

''Una two don break abi?'' Kinsley asked drowning the rest of his beer. He had only consumed a bottle but I could tell he could not hold down his alcohol.

''Break ke? We join before?'' I shot back at him. The other guys pretended they didn't hear me and I wished Kinsley would just follow suit and shut his big mouth. However this guy (Kinsley) in conjunction with Petra had been instructed to ruin my night.

''Ahh, better sef because that girl na public latrine. Who nor know? Guys una remember Kobino from batch A now? Kobino dey flog this girl steady that time.''

''When e yansh am finish, she go begin dey limp as she dey commot.'' So far the other guys had been doing a good job keeping mute but after the last sentence, they burst out laughing uncontrollably. It was one of the worse moments of my life.

Petra stood up and pulled the senator to his feet. I began to sweat from every pore of my body. The senator was dressed in a tight polo shirt and baggy jeans. He reminded me of a 'money miss road' eager to spend on his new toy. His stomach was round and big but Petra didn't seem to mind. She began grinding against the senator with her arms around his neck. Next she turned around, raised her arms to the sky and gradually descended to the ground. I saw the gold bracelet (I gave her) shimmer in the dimly lit light. The senator pulled her closer and some other lovers took the cue and got up to dance. I spat on the ground and rubbed my heel against it. My head was swelling and I was beginning to see double.

''Guys, I beg make we comot'' I pleaded looking at the watch on my wrist. So far, I had a miserable outing. If I had known what lay ahead, I would have spent the evening under my blanket. As we took our leave, the boys stopped to greet the senator but I didn't - I could not face either of them.

''Baba the baba we dey hail o. We throway salute, your boys remain forever humble.'' Shortly after, they began yelling and I turned around to see him doling out cash - talk about insult upon injury!

Good job bro! Following bumper to bumper. First roll things!

Nice one! But I dey suspect say this our no name story still far.

Adebolade: Good job bro! Following bumper to bumper. First roll things!

Thanks.@ Iolite, you go shock as e go do finish now now.

*****************************

''I thought you had another order this weekend?'' I asked watching Abike closely. She was beginning to receive steady orders from friends, neighbours and church members. These days she returned from the baking school late, because she had to make use of the school's equipment long after the students were done for the day. I noticed she was becoming better at her craft. Her long hours of staying behind to fulfil her orders and help members of staff was gradually paying off. I missed her presence but I knew she was on the right path so I continued to support and encourage her. The other day, I was pleasantly surprised to see she had restocked the toiletries and kitchen cabinet. For a man who presently planned everything thing down to a T, that was like pouring water down a parched throat.

''I did but I had to cancel it earlier in the week'' she answered in a low tone.

''Wow!'' I muttered under my breath. ''Why did you cancel it?'' I noticed she had been acting lethargic all week but she continually denied she was feeling poorly.

''Abike, I can manage anything but sickness. Our situation is bad but God remains on the throne. If you know you are sick, let take you to the hospital and if you know you are fine then snap out of it.''
I have been excited but I had been trying to contain myself all week due to the constant disappointment experienced. It seemed like anytime I expressed enthusiasm and hope, I was left hanging like a limp carrot.

''Oki, I have something to discuss with you'' she said quietly.

''What is it?'' I asked trying to be calm. I knew it was not child's play anytime she addressed me by my surname.

''I am pregnant!'' She said and began sobbing quietly.

''And why are you crying'' I asked in amazement rushing to her side. I held her arm and stroked the full length.

''Why are you crying?'' I asked again smiling at her. She looked at me through her tears and began to cry and laugh at the same time. ''I thought you'd be mad. You said we were not ready for it.''

''I thought I'd be mad but I am not. I am excited dear. Please stop crying and let us thank God. So many people are running helter-skelter in search of a child and we can't afford to be ungrateful'' I said pulling her close to my chest. ''I have a confession too, something I've been keeping until it materializes but hey it’s the season of good news so I might as well spill it out.''

''What is it then? Tell me!'' she cried out. She sat upright and blinked at me like an excited child.

''I spoke to Charles's father on Thursday. We went through my CV and past experience; the call lasted for about 25minutes. According to Charles, It's all for formality sake but I am trying not to count my chickens before they are hatched.'' She raised a hand and put it over her mouth.

''Remember what I told you dear, who knows if it this child that will usher in our good fortunes.'' She said amidst tears.

I held her in my arms and kissed her tears away. ''You were right my dear. Finally there is an opening.''

6

Petra was in my room as usual the following week. ''So what is the attitude for?'' she asked placing her arm on her hips.

''You amaze me, you have the guts to act in that manner after what you did ehn? After all you put me through. I had a sleepless night and I could not reach you for the next few days. Have you no shame?'' I replied hotly.

''No shame? You make me laugh please. I promised you nothing. You are the one who ought to be filled with shame. You are the one with the everlasting girlfriend abi fiancé? How dare you cast aspersions on my character?

''Yeah, I have a girlfriend but I never hid that from you. I never lied or pretended to be something else.''

''Oh please, don’t get so hot under the collar. You didn’t meet me as a coy virgin under the covers did you? What did you expect? I never pretended to be Mother Theresa! Be honest, if I told you I didn’t have a boyfriend, would you not find that laughable?''

I shook my head in disbelief. ''Do you call that a boyfriend or sugar daddy? You cheap w hore, shameless runs girl, certified citizen of a cathouse!'' I said moving closer to her. I was burning with rage and jealousy. I gave her a slap on her cheek and she returned the favour with a resounding slap that stung and called out to my inner core. I could not remember the last time I was slapped. I saw her clenching and unclenching her fist as though she was in pain. A thousand thoughts were running through my head and my temple was throbbing. She was right, she never promised me anything and in actual fact, she never lied to me. All she did was skilfully avoid my questions and hide things from me! Finally she was the first to break the silence.

''What are we fighting for? If you didn’t know now you know. I made no demands of you and I ask that you do the same. You have your life and so do I. I ask no questions and so should you. Can we call a truce? Happy?''
I stared at her feeling utterly disgusted. It seemed like a good preposition but I didn’t like to be caught unawares - no man wanted this. It is a well known fact that men think differently from women. No man liked to think he was in competition with another for we are territorial by nature. Hell she meant nothing to me, this was not Abike. However, it hurt to think I was being played like a fiddle.
She was watching me closely like a cat monitoring a rat.

''I can't believe we are having a row over this. Can we just move on?'' She asked reaching out for my hand. I clenched my fist but she persisted then slowly I relaxed but I was not done with her yet. She had to be punished for what she did to me. She threw her hands around my neck and I felt my temperature rise, as I saw the gold bracelet on her wrist.

''Are you still angry?'' She asked smiling. ''I didn’t realise you were this jealous Fred.''

I hated this new pet name she loved to call me and of course, I was still mad at her. Even though she was a 'fuc k mate' she was MINE!
I held the back of her neck and pushed her head towards mine. Then I kissed her fiercely. It was long and demanding. A low groan escaped from her throat but it was one of pain not of pleasure. I bit her hard until I could taste blood but I didn’t care.

''You hurt me.'' She said quietly wiping her lips with the back of her hand. ''Did that make you feel any better?''

''No'' I replied as I began to unbuckle my belt.

She stared at me straight in the eye and I believe she knew what was coming her way. Her hair was a mess, her blouse was rumpled and I could see she was breathing hard.

''Take off your jeans and get on all fours'' I said quietly and she complied.

*******************************************

I was at Couldson and Watson Pension & Administrative firm. It was my first and only interview I was going to attend and already it was looking good. Even though Charles had downplayed everything about the interview, I was leaving no stone unturned. I had done my homework and had everything thing down to a T. However, I must confess I was slightly surprised at the ease at which the interview was going.

''So when can you start?'' the woman asked me. She was fat and clearly bored with the whole charade. She wore a navy blue suit with a gold choker like the type worn at owambe. I didn’t think it was befitting but that was not my concern. Her face was devoid of every form of makeup and she was on 'table top'. I mean who still dey barb table top for this life when we dey? On top say you be woman - you must be a husband beater or something else along that line! I opened my mouth in mild surprise but there was no playing around with this woman.

''Come on now Mr Oki, you knew it was going to go like this, didn’t you? How many applicants did you meet at reception?''

I smiled but said nothing. I didn’t owe her an explanation or apology. This was Nigeria and I had suffered enough. I had been to numerous interviews and had my fair share of rejection spurred on by the 'who know man' syndrome. I had paid my dues and no one was going to make me feel sad or sorry - not even my pastor who had a knack for preaching on corrupt practices!

************************************

It was two months before passing out parade and today I was in Petra's room massaging her feet. Her long legs seemed to extend forever but right now it was nothing sexual. She had been complaining about a small ache on her feet Her head was at the head of the bed while her feet was propped up on my lap.

''Ouch is that how you massage?'' She asked pushing my hands away. I tried to work my magic again, this time applying less pressure and working in small circles.

''Ahh better, that feels good. Yes, right there at that spot.'' Soon I was beginning to nurse some funny ideas. Petra nor kill me for my mama o! Na me be first born. I kept working on her toes and slowly made my way along her long legs to her knee, lap and soon enough, my hand disappeared under her wrapper. She held my gaze and would occasionally let out a low sound. She was such a nasty girl and I loved the way she starred at me. I was going crazy already and I pushed the wrapper aside exposing her panties. I slid my hand under the last barrier and felt the smooth surface. Yep, babe was clean shaven down there, just the way I liked it.

Suddenly the door was forcefully pushed open and we stood up with a start. It was Abike and she was leaving no prisoners - I could feel my life caving in. She clapped her hands like a thoroughly satisfied moviegoer ''so it is true, is this the reason you didn't want me to visit?'' she asked pointing at Petra.

''Calm down, I can explain this.'' i said in a voice i could barely recognize as mine.

''Sure you can, you have the rest of your life to explain your shameful actions. You always had a reason why I could not visit and now it has been confirmed.''

''And who is this?'' Petra asked getting up from the bed. Her white panty was clearly visible and she was searching furiously for something while looking up from time to time. ''Fred, please throw that wrapper'' she said pointing at the floor.

''Hey, hey, hey come and see drama'' Abike clapped her hands yelling at the top of her lungs. She raised the curtain exposing the room and the small crowd standing outside began to swell.

''Fred, please take your drama outside'' Petra whispered fiercely. She was pointing towards her door but Abike had spread her legs apart squaring for a fight. She put her hands on her waist and shouted ''Go where? We are fighting this battle here. I have been hearing about your escapades and I have seen with my two eyes today.'' She pointed at her eyes and promptly replaced the hand on her waist. See drama. Father God help me and I will avoid women wahala for the rest of my life.

'' Fred, I said get her out!'' Petra screamed finally losing control.

''Fred ke? Is that your name now? What happened to all the promise you made before you set off on your doomed journey?'' Abike asked.
I got up quickly and bent down to pick my trouser when a large object flew in Petra's direction. I was stunned; the trouser dropped from my hand when I realized it was a 'flying Abike'. She was punching Petra and screaming at the top of her voice.

''I will tear that wrapper. I will tear that wrapper and pull that your rotten pant.''

I didn’t realize she had that energy in her. She was of average build and slightly bigger but Petra was taller than her. On the other hand, Petra was screaming and trying to shield herself from Abike's blows. I pushed Abike aside but I was not prepared for the punch that landed square in my eye.

''Bastard, bastard, where is the love you promised me? Where is the love?'' she screamed. She reminded me of the 'The Black Eyed Peas' but this was no laughing matter. I held her back and screamed trying to get through to her ''she means nothing to me, it is you I love Abike.''
She kicked me on the foot and flung something at Petra ''tell her to get out or I will kill her.'' I held her in a bear hug and yelled at Petra to leave the room. It didn’t matter that it was actually her room! Petra dashed out clinging to her torn wrapper while Abike flung her legs wildly yelling like a small child. The crowd had moved from the compound to the door and were now urging Abike on.

''Yes beat am. Kick the yeye boy. E don tey since dem dey do husband and wife. Every day for the thief, one day for the owner.''

''Na the wife be that?'' another spectator asked.

''Please shut the door'' I yelled but they continued staring at the free cinema. I could have been addressing zombies. I was finally able to subdue Abike after some minutes and immediately, I banged the door shut, bolted it and fell on my knees.

''I beg you Abike, I can explain everything. It was only once.'' Liar, liar pants on fire!

She looked at me in disgust and screamed like a mad woman and then she began to cry like an animal caught in a trap. It was a sound like I've never heard before and in that moment, i knew what it was to hurt a woman.

Pls don't tell me that the end?

Adebolade: Pls don't tell me that the end?

Thanks for the support. No its not the end when I get there, I will clearly indicate it. LOL

Phew I finally came up with a title.

7

It was two days after the fracas and I was still running a temperature and nursing my red eye. Abike was lying on my bed with her small travelling bag on the floor. She had refused to return to school and I was trying hard to put my life back together. I had not set eyes on Petra since the unfortunate incident and Charles was kind enough to desert the room while I tried to repair my relationship with Abike. I loved her still but I was doing a difficult job of trying to convince her. If she was not shouting at me, she was crying herself hoarse. At the minute, you could barely hear her words because she had lost her voice! I wish I could ease her pain, I wish she would let me do that. I didn’t realize how close I was to losing her and the thought scared the crap out of me. The day before, she had woken me in the middle of the night.

''You fell for her because of sex right?''

I felt as small as a mouse. My first serious relationship was with Abike and I could not hide anything from her but something's were better left unsaid.

''Did you go all the way, was she good, did you enjoy it, did you call out her name, did you do it on this bed?'' God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, which kain temptation be this nah? How do I answer yes to all these questions?

''Abike we are trying to heal and I am doing my best here. What is this information going to do for us? How is it going to help you?''
She kept quiet and nodded like she agreed with me but if I felt so, I had another thing coming.

''You don’t call the shots or tell me how I should heal. This is not about you. How many times did you have sex with her?''

''Here we go again'' I said slapping my hand on my thigh.

''You must answer that question. I said how many times or how difficult can that be. Once, twice, ten times, fifty times - you tell me.''

''Abike, I am sorry but I don’t know. You are forcing me to relieve these things again - you're killing me!''
She shook her head and tears began to stream again. ''Ferdinand, common sex you will do and be done in how many minutes. I've been keeping myself for you all these while but I guess it does not matter anymore. You could not even manage to hold body until we are together again. I beg jare wetin you dey give me all the time we dey school? Is sex food? If that is all, then do me and let us rest.'' She raised her night gown over her head and I looked away.

I had never seen her fully undressed and I was not expecting this. I can't explain how a normal able bodied man would turn his face at something he always longed for but I had too much respect for her. I adored every single thing about her and I was not about to desecrate her body to prove a cheap point. I picked up my wrapper and threw it across her body but she was fighting hard to remain nake d.

''Do it and rest would you. Do it, if that would make you sane and bring you back to me. Do it I say. I hate you! You cheap thing. I thought we shared something special. Has she charmed you and made every other woman appear as dirt?''

''Abike stop this. I would never take advantage of you in this manner. You know you don’t really want this and I would never do this to us.'' I held out my arms but she slapped it and began to wrestle with me. Then I seized her wrist and held them in an upward position. Soon enough she got tired and fell into my arms, crying herself to sleep.

I woke up the next day by 11am to discover she was gone. Her travelling bag was still on the floor, so I knew she was around. I wondered where she had gone and I began to panic when I thought of the river but I dismissed the idea from my mind. She may be a nut case when she is terribly upset but she would never contemplate suicide. On top wetin nah? She was too ambitious to end her life for any man and that included me!

I picked a broom and swept the apartment. Then I rushed to the kiosk at the end of the road and bought a loaf of bread, 3 eggs, a tin of liquid milk and sardine. I hurried back to prepare something before she returned. This was definitely not my style but I was doing everything within my power to make it right. Next, I headed for the bathroom to rid myself of the dirt and grime. By the time I returned, there were several missed calls on my phone. 9 of them were from Petra and 5 were from Charles. There were a few numbers I recognised and more I didn’t know. Almighty father, have mercy on me and deliver me from these wahala people. Wetin dey happen nah, abi I just win election? Immediately I began to panic; I tried Abike's number repeatedly but my calls went unanswered.

Then Charles called again and yelled down the phone ''Ferdinand, where are you? Get your behind to the Secretariat as quickly as possible. Abike is creating a scene here and even the Local Government Chairman is trying to pacify her as we speak. Dude this place is a freaking circus!''

I turned off my phone and knocked the small stool to the ground. The meal I had just prepared scattered all over the red rug. The tension and stress within the last 2 days descended on me. Then I did something I had not done since the death of my father - I wept like a baby.

8

It was the end of my service year and the morning of the passing out parade. I had just returned from the state capital with my certificate in hand. It was the reason why I had remained in this village for nearly a year in service to my fatherland.
I had fond memories and others I was keen to forget. I was heading for Benin before moving to Lagos finally. There was nothing for me in that town anyway and I wanted to forge a life for myself as quickly as possible. I wished I didn’t have to return to Benin immediately, but I had not seen my mother for a while. It was only proper to go home and spend quality time with my family before I lunged out into the deep. I missed my brothers and the dogs but I was not happy about the tongue lashing I would receive from my mother. Abike had intimated her of everything and I was left feeling even smaller. My mother had called me one cool evening to give me a piece of her mind.

''Son, is Abike there?''

''No, she has returned to school.''

''Okay, I heard everything that took place. Is it true?'' I said nothing and she probably took it as an admission of guilt and continued. ''May God not allow our enemies laugh at us in Jesus name. May God not allow our enemies capitalize on our mistakes and try to ruin us in the process. May those that plan to mock us come and rejoice instead.'' I said nothing and continued starring at the grass beneath my feet.

''Uhmm, well you are a man and most importantly an adult so I can't tell you what to do. Thank God say you know. However, I think it is time you left both women alone. Abike is a good girl, but she can talk for Africa. Oh yes, I've heard every single little dirty detail; that girl talks nineteen to the dozen! A loose woman takes away the honour of a man and a loose cannon opens a man up to ridicule.'' And what about a philandering man - pray tell me? Na only the two girls get fault? Abi I nor chop blame for this matter?

*****************************************

*********************************************
I walked out of my room and saw Petra packing her things with a frown on her face. I had not seen her since the day Abike beat her up. I heard she had moved to the city and was living in an apartment the Senator rented for her. Kingsley swore it was a lie and claimed an oil magnet was responsible for her upkeep. He went further to add she was completing the reminder of her service year in an oil servicing firm courtesy of her new benefactor.

The Senator had heard of the debacle and wanted nothing to do with her. The Local Government Chairman had asked her to leave immediately because she had not only embarrassed the Secretariat, but most importantly she was cheating on him with a 'common corper'. If Kinsley's story was anything to go by, Petra had won at the end of the day. However, I still felt a twinge of guilt just remembering how I was responsible for so much chaos in her life. It was definitely over between us but this girl had a small place in my heart. I didn’t want her name to leave a sour taste in my mouth so I decided to smoothen any rough edges left behind.

''Petra are you leaving?'' I asked feigning ignorance and surprise at the same time.

''What does it look like'' she fired back.

She was tugging at a mattress and I ran up the steps and tried to relieve her of the burden.

''Here, let me help with that'' I offered.

''That’s fine, I got it covered'' she replied panting like a puppy. I ignored her and lugged at the mattress. It brought back old memories and made me sick to the pit of my stomach. I carried it outside and followed her into the small room.

''Anything else?'' I asked starring at the empty shell I once yearned for. I saw the familiar wall paper and the curtain by the window. I noticed the red rug on the floor and remembered the crazy sessions that took place on it. I swear Petra should have been a gymnast; those long legs were not for nothing.

''It's just the drawer left'' she said pointing at the small furniture I knew too well.

''You bought way too much for a Federal Government child'' I said trying to make small talk. I strolled towards my next challenge. I was trying to make light of the situation but I could see she was not in the mood. ''I've been trying to reach you for the past few weeks'' I said finally cutting to the chase.

''Phew don’t start now!'' She begged raising her well manicured nails to the sky. She was still wearing the gold bracelet and I noticed her nails were painted a pale yellow. I loved that colour, it was my favourite. She reached for a blue bucket and the cover slipped out of her hand. She bent to pick it and I got a good view at her behind. She was wearing a blue pair of jeans, our white Corp shirt with a black high heeled boot. She was such a beautiful girl and it's a darn shame she had chosen to live like this.

''Thank God he is here'' she announced clapping her hands in delight. ''What took you so long?'' she shouted as she advanced towards a red jeep that just drove in.

I raised the drawer and carried it out into the arms of a young man dressed in a blue uniform. An elderly man in flowing agbada stepped out of the car and look at her properties littered around. He was an imposing man with white beards and a white agbada to match. I also noticed he had white hair on his head. Suddenly I was confused, I didn’t know if he was that old or one of those men who were blessed with a white crown. In any case, he was not my mate or in my league.

''Good afternoon sir,'' I heard myself say but the man didn’t seem to hear or perhaps he chose to ignore me for reasons best known to him.
Petra ran past me and return with a set of cooking pan.

''Is that your father?'' I asked.

''Before nko'' she whispered brushing against my shoulder as she made her way down the steps. I shook my head in disbelief. I knew when she brushed past me to get my attention and when it was done in anger or spite.
The elderly man was shaking his head like an international observer who was forced to witness an abhorring situation. ''There is no need for that!'' He cried out pointing his finger at her pot. His gaze swept across Petra's bits and bobs. ''There is no need for half the things here and I will not put them in my car. You don’t have to pack every little thing; most of these things are rubbish in my opinion. I don’t have the space sef. Driver, take the boxes and nothing more.''

''Ahhh! You are joking oh! My small properties bought with my sweat in the course of my service to my father land. Daddy I beg you oh!''

I stood aside observing them like a spectator being entertained at the market square. I was watching their body language to see if this was indeed her father. I liked to believe in the goodness of the human race after all. I could see them arguing; Petra was waving her hands around while the elderly man shook his head from side to side.

The elderly man seemed impatient. ''Yes, I promise to give you the money to furnish your new apartment. Are you happy now? Ok get into the car and let us leave. I'm nearly done no thanks to this weather.''

Petra laughed and poked her head in the car before dashing out again. She opened the earlier discarded drawer and reached for something I could not see. She was a few feet from me and I could still smell the whiff of her perfume. She was the chapter of a book I would not forget in a hurry. Perhaps someday our paths would cross again like a tributary running into another river.

''Good luck Petra!'' I yelled waving, but she continued on without a backward glance. As the tail light grew smaller, I saw the two figures at the back seat lean closer for a kiss and I laughed out loud - daddy indeed!

************************************
I was two weeks into the new job and I was loving every minute of it. It was nothing like my boring and repetitive banking job and best of all, there was career progression with this company. I could almost cry out of relief and joy. The pay was excellent, holiday entitlement, welfare package and office hours were all on point. My new role at the Pension firm suited my career aspiration just fine. The previous member of staff had just relocated and the Team Manager had gone on maternity so there was an urgent need to fill the void. I could not thank Charles and his father enough for without them, I knew I would not be here. I was still undergoing training and my team mates were great. Initially, I was confused when they kept asking me what department I came from. It was later I discovered it was supposed to be an internal recruitment. Now that’s what I call 'manipulation in high places' - the very embodiment of 'who know man syndrome' stretched to a breaking point.
It was going great until the 'table top' woman approached my desk before the close of day. It was 4.45pm and I was beginning to tidy my desk when she walked to my side and whispered into my ear.

''Got 10 minutes to spare Mr Oki?''

''Sure'' I replied pushing my chair backwards and walking behind her.

As I approached her office, I saw some directors and senior managers (including Charles father) engaged in fierce discussion along the passage. ''It makes no difference.'' I heard the only woman amongst them shout. ''Who is being affected here, tell me? It is not a medical facility or a food factory? ''Gentlemen you disappoint me.'' I heard Charles father add.

''Good evening sir'' I yelled out. But he retreated into a nearby office.

We walked through a door with the inscription 'Human Resources Department' written on it. It was a wide expanse of office and I could see a few individuals scattered around. The walls were white and the air condition was on full blast. I wanted to spread a mat and just lie down and go to sleep. Table top motioned at an empty chair and sat opposite me. I was barely seated before a male voice boomed from the far end of the room. I looked up and saw a burly man addressing a slender man.

''Incompetence and nothing more! This is the foremost pension administrative firm in this country and I should not be hearing such.''

''There was an overwhelming demand to fill…'' a male voice could be heard explaining. The voice sounded tired but the booming voice was relentless.

''Fill it at the expense of our reputation - I think not! This is the reason we have set rules, so we don’t fall into a ditch. Where there is an exception, I have to approve it. The bulk stops at my desk! Did I give my approval in this instance? Did I minute on any document?''
I could see Table top was clearly upset but trying to contain herself. She got up, pushed her chair aside and excused herself. ''Give me a minute Mr Oki.''

''It is being dealt with it.'' The timid voice continued.

''Gentlemen, I don’t think you realize it, but I am trying to have a conversation with a member of staff. Can we keep it down please?'' Table top could be heard pleading in the distance.

''Go handle your business efficiently. I hope you know you are not free from this and we shall have that conversation at the right time? I report to the directors before the close of day and its 4.57pm already'' the booming voice spat out.

I heard Table top reply in a fierce but low tone. I trust that woman jare, she was certainly not a pushover. Suddenly, I could not wait to leave this environment. I heard the sound of her high heel against the tiled floor as she approached. Finally, peace was restored and Table top returned to her seat. ''I'm sorry about that Mr Oki, can we continue please.''

Welli done. You are different from other nairaland writers, ask me how? You update regularly and lenghty. I pray you can continue with that.

Timothy3113: Welli done. You are different from other nairaland writers, ask me how? You update regularly and lenghty. I pray you can continue with that.

Thanks for d kind words

it was very enjoyable pls another update

Nyc story

I placed my hand on the table smiling at her ''was there a problem with any reference madam?'' I asked. She raised her head from the table and locked eyes with mine. ''Unfortunately you just hit the nail on the head. One of your references has returned with an unfavourable response and I'm afraid as per Company procedure we would have to withdraw our offer Mr Oki.''

''Really!'' I replied in disbelief. My heart was beginning to beat faster and I held the edge of my seat. Immediately I began to calculate in my head. I had worked in two places in all my life and I didn’t have issues with either of them. I had no problem at the bank (I used a close friend who worked at the HR department as my reference). I didn’t think the school principal or anyone else at the village had any problem with my time during my service year. I single-handedly formed the debate club from scratch and we went on to win competitions around the neighbouring villages. I would be shocked to learn if anyone ever followed up on a reference request in that local school. My final reference was from my Uncle and I could beat my chest to say he would have done an excellent job recommending me to any reputable organisation. So where was this coming from?

''Is it something I can address? Is it a reply you are still expecting? Do you need me to chase up a particular referee?'' I asked in despair.

She shook her head slowly from side to side like a frustrated teacher. ''Mr Oki, this is not a case of an unresponsive referee, this is an unfavourable one as I explained earlier. I am afraid the company is well within her right to withdraw any offer of appointment in the event of an unsatisfactory reference. It is clearly stated in the contract which you were given before you resumed. I still have a copy of the signed document which you agreed to. Would you like a copy to refresh your memory?'' She asked trying to reach for a drawer.

''No, no erm that’s fine but you can understand the state of my mind Mrs erm… You understand how confusing this must be for me, for anyone in my position?''

''I am sorry Mr Oki but this meeting is over.'' She stood up - a clear indication the meeting was indeed over.

''Oh my God, I think I am going to faint'' I said struggling to get up from the seat.

Table top continued unperturbed, ''I'm going to have to ask for your ID card and the key to your locker. You will need to return any personal property of the company which you may have in your possession. It includes but is not limited to laptop, handset…'' I stopped hearing what she was saying at this point. She reminded me of a cop reading a criminal his Miranda rights. I was jolted back to reality when she stood at the door waiting for me to leave. However, she was not done with me.

''You will need to sign out at reception one last time Mr Oki. I'd see you to the door.''

''Just like that, just like that'' I mouthed as I stumbled out. ''Abike, Abike, my God help me.''

''Watch your steps Mr Oki, please take it easy. She pleaded, placing a hand on my shoulder. I was not sure what this was meant to do. She was adding to my burden by even laying a finger on me. She called out to a colleague who also worked in the Personnel Department. I immediately recognised the slender man with the timid voice. ''Sule, please assist Mr Oki to the reception desk.'' She stepped aside but followed at a respectable distance monitoring my movement till I was out of the building. At the reception, the friendly guards smiled at me but I had a tried look on my face. I signed out one last time and placed the pen on the book.

''Do you need help to your car?'' Table top asked.

''I'm fine. I can manage from this point on.'' The words were barely out of my mouth when Mr Sule scurried off. I didn’t blame him, it was indeed a dirty assignment for anyone to undertake.

''Good luck Mr Oki'' Table top said while stretching out an arm to shake me.

I looked at her outstretched arm and walked away without a word. When I got to the revolving door, I turned around and noticed she was still starring ahead, waiting for me to exit the final door! I walked out and sat on the long flight of stairs outside the building. I wanted to buy a pack of cold pure water and empty it on my head or better still buy the entire bag and pour it over my body. The revolving door swung around nonstop. It reminded me of what my life had become - an endless stream of pure drama! I saw all manner of shoes walk by. It should have been me but here I was, on the floor like a mad man. I was the perfect picture of a candidate for Uselu or Yaba left! You know the type of mad man, decked in a fine suit, but rambling to himself.

I saw the long dark coloured trousers worn by the men and a few women. I saw beautifully shaped legs and stocky ones as well. I heaved and tried Abike's number again - still no answer. She had an appointment at the General Hospital but that was hours ago. Next, I tried Charles number again but it went straight to voicemail. Finally, I dragged myself from the floor and headed for the car park. It dawned on me that no one had stopped to ask what the problem was. Louis Armstrong recorded the popular song 'What a Wonderful World' in 1967 but it could also be a cold and desolate place!