OP,u r Talking bunkum,you go fear international bride price conference.
Why not Africans advocate elimination of white wedding which in my understandin is just anoda way to make de groom poorer.
I hav attended a traditional wedding where the couple's pastor joined dem after de trad. Rites
thunda fire anybody dat'll support dis OP

Tic4tac: This is complete Rubbish joor... Y sld we always adopt d white man's system.. I tire OOO

Pls Wr r dey today? They still learn English, speak it, subtitle dr movies in english, write dr books in english and most of dem are still very poor up till dis day

mhizbanega: Oh, okay!! Where are you from?

I am from Kogi state, an Igala by tribe. Although the tradition is peculiar to my own communal clan and not the whole tribe.

its only d foolishnes and movies dat is makng OP talk dis way. Every community has its pride 4 dia daughters.dats d bride price. Let me tell dia is notin like white wedding d bible.d hebrews stick to dia traditnal marriage right til dat,so is d chinnese,indians,south america. White wedding is a religous tin nt traditnal.church wedding can nt hold without ur ppl aceptng a bride price.which makes traditnal rights superior.white wedding has too much errors aswel.tel me y somebdy shold ask me if i wil take a woman as my wife wen d family has given me as a wife.actualy b4 u went to d altar u were already married all those questn frm pastors are unecesary.ppl shld go to altar 4 church blessing.period. I dey vex 4 OP.

i like dis

Op you must be drunk with staled palm wine.


White wedding is not even christian tradition. Go and google it. It is a european tradition adopted so that the increased atrocities done those days by couples in europe should stop. Later christians adopted it into their system.

Why do we africans always like copying things? Traditional rites tells that you actually have a beginning, a home, a people. Am ashamed that black people are tge most confused people on earth.

Lokk at the asians, the indians, the chinese, japanese, arabs, up till today they still adopt their system.

Op if you are lost then contonue to get lost in the white man's traditional.

No wonder they keep trating us bad in that place, they dont respect us, they racially abuse us. They embarrass us in their airport for enough search whole other race are allowed without much disturbance.


Na wa for una oooo

sebyluv: This is sooooo true. I don't think d traditional rites shud b necessary anymore. If we have decided to embrace d xtian or muslim religion as most of us have, den our religious rite shud b enuf. it doesn't even make sense dat after d trad, couples r still not allowed by dr churches to have sex until dey r wedded in church. Away with all ds Senseless Trad rites and on with our Simple Church weddings.

religion is nt traditn. Tell wia did Jesus turn water to wine. Synagouge abi na traditnal marriage, how abt jacob and isaac they both paid bride price 4 dia wives.if u study d bible u wil c dat its basics is d way of life of d hebrews.religion jst to guild them.wit d mentality we hv started havng abt ourselves in africa soon we wil b notin without d whites.

An extremely multi-faceted article. I'm not sure what to address first!

I think about all this quite a bit. Like you, I'm on the fence regarding the topic of bride prices. Interesting are the sentiments expressed in the song you shared btw! Personally, I feel it's an outdated practice. Still, despite having been born and spent most of our time in the West, all my older siblings have gone the traditional route, bride price included. Not surprisingly, when I expressed my thoughts, my folks had the exact same old-world parental reaction expressed in the article; it was inconceivable. Nowadays, I've even noticed people compete in the areas of "grandest bride price" and "grandest wedding"!

Inter-ethnic African unions/relationships are still full of hurdles, at least in my case, but I feel it shouldn't be so terribly hard to incorporate something of both cultures within the ceremony. Like you, I value the idea of a cultural wedding, and like you, I also feel there are quite a few traditional practices that are better buried in the past - weddings aside.

It's very easy for those of us living outside the "box" to cherry pick what we like about our respective cultures, but there are those who live it everyday, and in reality it is they who hold the reigns. Changing even one aspect of a local culture is easier said than done. There is a certain comfort in tradition, and people are generally not creatures of change. Society also has a way of shaping the perceptions of the populace. Before some purist suffers an aneurysm: when I say change, I do not mean westernization but rather a local cultural innovation, especially within certain areas, and within reason. It shouldn't mean a complete change of identity.

I feel we desperately need to free our minds in order to move forward.

people like the op make me wonder where we are going as nigerians.you want to do away with traditional marriage so na white wedding better pass abi..abeg op go park well

CongoleseQueen: Marriage has an important significance in every society. In African societies, there are three marriage ceremonies, traditional, court and white. The traditional marriage is the most important of all three. It’s not just a celebration of unbinding love between two individuals – it’s the creation of a deep union between two families and communities.

Before the celebration of most traditional marriages, the groom’s family must present the bride’s family with goods, as requested by the elders in her clan. Money, property, shoes, clothes, food, jewelry, electronics and other accessories are examples of some of these goods. They often vary, depending on each family.

As an individual who was raised in a home centered around culture, I fully understand the importance of traditional practices. However, I have struggled with grasping the reasoning behind some of these practices. I recall having a conversation with a friend about the process of traditional marriage. She once told her mom that she was not interested in receiving a bride price. She is all for having a traditional wedding, but refuses to participate in a ceremony that she feels is unnecessary. Her mom was certainly not pleased with her request. In fact, she informed her that it wasn’t a decision that lied in her hands. It had already been decided for her the moment she was born. While I do see where her mother is coming from, I don’t think she should be forced to adhere to a custom that doesn’t apply to her as an individual. If anything, it should be a choice.

Personally, I want to have a traditional wedding because I want to celebrate my culture. But I do not agree with some of the details associated with having a traditional marriage. I am on the fence about my family demanding a bride price. I am just not sure where I stand on that particular issue. I am more induced by the celebratory and cultural aspect of a traditional marriage. Afterall, isn’t that what truly matters?

I fully get the symbolism behind receiving a bride price. It is a practice that has been in place for centuries. However, is it still relevant to our society? I know that this statement will probably give every tribal chief a panic attack, but it is a valid question. Everytime I think of the bride price, I remember the song “Matata Ya Mwasi Na Mobali Esila Te (Marital Problems Will Never End)”, where Franco Luambo sings, “soki na keyi ko traiter ba affaire, nazongi na lingi na pema, akomi ko tuna nga, ozalaki wapi? O uti wapi? Ba lobaki boye — mwasi na bala na mosolo, nani a pesi ye authorisation a tuna nga epayi na uti?” He is pretty much saying that a woman he married (paid for) is not authorized to ask him any questions regarding his whereabouts. It is a reminder that I am being purchased by someone.

In 2004, activists from Nigeria, Uganda, Kenya, Tanzania, Senegal, Ghana, Rwanda and South Africa gathered in Kampala for the International Bride Price Conference to discuss ways of eliminating its practice in Africa. Quite frankly, I don’t think it is a good idea to get rid of it completely. I simply think that people should not be forced to participate. It should be optional.

A single African country can have anywhere from five to two hundred tribes, and each tribe carries its own customs. With so many rituals in place, individuals who come from the same country, but belong to different tribes, are not encouraged to marry. This is not a progressive way of thinking. If these traditions aren’t creating unified sense of belonging, why are Africans still holding on to them?

Scandal Actress, Kerry Washington, recently had a child with a Nigerian man. Due to her husband’s tradition, they had to wait eight days before naming their child. In his culture, a child is named in an official naming ceremony a week after birth. During a conversation with a Nigerian friend, I mentioned that story, and he had no idea such a tradition ever existed. According to him, these things vary from tribe to tribe. This is an issue found throughout the entire continent. Each tribe or ethnic group holds on to its own customs and refuses to welcome or appreciate those found in other regions.

For many Africans, the rise of inter-tribe and inter-Africa marriages is a sign that tribal disputes have ended. That’s like saying, inter-religion marriages have ended religious wars and disputes. It couldn’t be further from the truth. Tribal fighting is still an ongoing problem in Africa. Africans are still committing atrocious acts of violence towards one another due to tribal differences. A friend of mine once said that Africans are always complaining about how badly they were treated by Europeans, but refuse to acknowledge the fact that they are doing the same thing to each other.


Inter-tribe and inter-Africa marriages are becoming more popular due to Western influence. Most Western societies encourage cultural diversity and tolerance. Africans who have been exposed to it tend to become more open. The average African, living within the borders of Africa, would prefer to marry a person from their tribe. In fact, they have zero interest in knowing what goes on in other regions.

South Africa was listed as one of the world’s most multilingual countries. The average South African can speak or understand all of the country’s main languages. This is a great strategy towards creating a sense of unity and belonging within its frontier. It is a fantastic way of promoting cultural diversity.

In conclusion, before we start advocating for a “united Africa”, let’s first encourage a “united Congo”, “united Nigeria”, “united Sudan” and so forth. Africans love culture. That is what makes our continent so beautiful. However, it’s very difficult to genuinely appreciate the culture when it is playing key role in dividing our people. Africans hold traditional practices very close to their hearts, as they have been passed on from generation to generation. Change is not something most of us are quick to accept, but if we are working towards a unified and progressive Africa, accepting cultural diversity and tolerance is the right way forward.

source: http://afri-culture.com/african-traditions-in-todays-society-is-it-time-to-put-an-end-to-traditional-wedding-rites/

rubbish,nonsense infact what u r saying is a view of a person who do know and sont want to know about sometin,that which is AFRICAN TRADITION and culture.I said so becos had it been u know african culture and traditions u will know that's what made u an african man,ok let me ask u if we put and end to it what will we embrace?WHITE WEDDING or asian way of marriage?.if is the ist one then I can see that u must b a slave of western culture or civilization

The only thing i critize abt traditional marriage is about when those village people starts demanding for ridiculous amount of money from d husband..them wan open market for our head....that s not far to me o...abi them want make my husband run? Anyways, i still love traditional marriage.....i respect my culture alot

Check all those places you want us to copy OP and see how marriage institution have been bastardized. There is nothing wrong with brideprice,the greed involved is what should be curbed.

ITbomb Rubbish, instead let's fine a way and stop white wedding,
after the traditional wedding, the priest or Pastor should pray for the
couple at the reception then they go and get registered at the court.

]
I'm with you on that except that the way and manner the said bride price is been collected and by who should be looked into.
i totall disagree with the fact that in most african culture, relatives who didnt know anything about how the lady grew up are the major beneficiary..i mean, the parents are only given a little fractn from the whole lot...
we should also ensure the burden are not too much on the guy since the bride isnt a commodity to be bought... in some culture (especially in the SS), bride price are mostly beyond par.

This article is an illustration of how Africans don't fully appreciate Africa: the inferiority complex phenomenon. Now tell us writer, can the amount of money spent on engagement/wedding rings ( the symbol of white weddings ) not rather be converted to payment for bride price if we wish to economise? Why must it be the other way round? In fact, why spend money on white wedding at all; shouldn't the traditional marriage ceremony be sufficient by itself? If at all there's anything to fight for, then you should be fighting for Africa and not against Africa, because writing an article that somehow downgrades a legitimate African practice is fighting against Africa. That we are educated doesn't mean we should forget who we are. Well I can't say I know about you, but will tell you with authority that I AM AN AFRICAN.

Anugod: In my place, we don't accept bride price.
The husband to be and his people will take a covered bowl of kolanuts to the elders (with money placed on top of the kolanuts). The elders will call the bride to be and ask her if they are permitted to eat the kolanuts, because if they do, the marriage is sealed as they cannot vomit the swallowed kolanuts.
However, they return the money because they do not wish to sell their daughter.

abeg i will like to come and marry in your place ooo. So many tribes in nigeria her selling their daughters from N200,000 to N5 million in that range in benue state and some south south and south eastern state.

Please are you available

@OP:

Nice article and I share your thoughts.The song you refed is also on point.

The term bride price paints the woman as a good traded to the hubby. That's why you hear 'my husband's house' rather than 'my matrimonial home'.

We have come a long way and still have a long way to go. Now, most tribes in Yorubaland return/do not request for it.

I doubt most posters read the same article I read anyways.

Abiagirl777
OP,u r Talking bunkum,you go fear international bride price conference.
Why not Africans advocate elimination of white wedding which in my understandin is just anoda way to make de groom poorer.
I hav attended a traditional wedding where the couple's pastor joined dem after de trad. Rites
thunda fire anybody dat'll support dis OP

wa gbayi!...this is purely what i'll do by God's grace.

shaggy007:

I love you for this statement, #NoHomo.
Imagine a Nigerian advocating stopping traditional marriage? What a doofus.

You don't know that there's an extent you'll disrespect your traditions, even the whites will have less regard for you.

These are the little things that make us unique and envied by the whites.

White wedding ko, black wedding ni.

Ignorance they say is a serious disease, from the article common sense will tell you that the writer is not a Nigerian.
You prolly have problem understanding written texts.

Alexk2:

wa gbayi!...this is purely what i'll do by God's grace.

the thing dey vex

Lets stop white wedding instead.

chucky234: Ignorance they say is a serious disease, from the article common sense will tell you that the writer is not a Nigerian.
You prolly have problem understanding written texts.

The smartest man on earth, do I look like someone that has the time to read a useless article? The topic says it all.

If you went to a good school, you should know that when the topic of an article starts which a question, it means you are free to answer, whether you read the article or not.

Smelly confused Aboki.

chucky234: Ignorance they say is a serious disease, from the article common sense will tell you that the writer is not a Nigerian.
You prolly have problem understanding written texts.

ITbomb: Rubbish, instead let's fine a way and stop white wedding, after the traditional wedding, the priest or Pastor should pray for the couple at the reception then they go and get registered at the court.

Any method that will reduce the burden of expenditure incurred by men in getting a wife is welcome..

most of these people complaining are from the east or probably married someone from the east, i know and very sure if u marrying a girl from imo state, u will pay the pride prize according to the level of education of the girl. in my tribe, we dnt do that, we dnt sell our girls, the pride prize is usually #10(not sure of the exact amount) or so and they give u #5 back telling they aint selling their daughter to u. and family do not demand some exorbitant fee what so ever, u buy, the father cap, walking stick and hot, then the mother wrapper, shoe and bag. then palm wine, some money to support.

I will never marry a girl from Mbese, calabari in Rivers state, and Akwaibom as a whole. God4bit this people will milk you dry and give u a list as if u are going to open supper market.

DesChyko: Rather, the exhorbitant demand should be hashed.
But the traditional rites should not be scrapped for any reasons. It's our identity.
Or, would we rather trade this for the traditions of others.
How do muslims wed, by the way?

ours is especially cheap. A bride can wed for free if she wish. Money is a matter of ability, and whatever is paid goes to the bride's pocket, (it's her's). And ofcourse there is limit(something around 15k maximum). As I said earlier, ABILITY; if the groom wishes he can pay a MILLION.

aboyaji: could you imagine in december 2013, one of my cousins was having her traditional marriage and the village people were requesting a sum of 50k from her husband and when i asked, i was told that its their rite. That the money will be shared to the villagers. This money is being charged right there on the D-day. If him no bring am, katakata go dey for the traditional marriage o. bleep marriage rites

How.much do you think is enough to waste before going home with your wife ?

Don't let what you support hunt you in case you are still single..

Well said. In some cultures, the groom takes huge loans just to cover the list. My friend married a 'certain tribe' and it W's mandated on him to send her brother to school aside the ridiculous list of 2000# that in like 15 places no be small money na. Hian

It's the greed that needs to b addressed. I still insist, anything done in my father's large sitting room is good enough for me. I don't like crowds. This reception idea where you rent big hall and spend thousands is just silly. I'm in the events planning business and I know how unnecessary some events 'to do' can be.

bukatyne: @OP:

Nice article and I share your thoughts.The song you refed is also on point.

The term bride price paints the woman as a good traded to the hubby. That's why you hear 'my husband's house' rather than 'my matrimonial home'.

We have come a long way and still have a long way to go. Now, most tribes in Yorubaland return/do not request for it.

I doubt most posters read the same article I read anyways.

Its a pity dat some don't understand what bride price means. Some even return d bride price with d notion dat their daughter is nt 4 sale. D bride family is wicked cos of all what groom family offered its only bride price (token meant 4 their daughter) is returned. What of other goods. BRIDE PRICE IS 4 D BRIDE NOT 4 D FAMILY.

l feel there is no need for white wedding after traditional and vice versa.

Africans always trying to be more English than the queen.

Traditional Marriage over white wedding anytime, any day

mencade5: abeg i will like to come and marry in your place ooo. So many tribes in nigeria her selling their daughters from N200,000 to N5 million in that range in benue state and some south south and south eastern state.

Please are you available

Ha ha ha. Understanding matters. My people do it to safeguard their daughter's interests. Since they are not 'bought', no man has any right to maltreat them or demean their worth by treating them as common commodities.
As for being available, I have many sisters, cousins, nieces, etc that are nice, lol.