Tears flow freely from my eyes as I type this message. i am depressed, sad and emotionally down. i lost my job two weeks ago. Less than five weeks to the arrival of my baby, the hitherto joyous mood in my house suddenly turned to sorrow. To make the matter worst,my wife went for antenatal today and the doctor said her blood pressure is very high, placed her on medication and asked her to come back on Thursday. According to him, if it does not go down, she will be admitted. 'This is dangerous for both the baby and the mother' says the doctor.
i am worried, i don't want double tragedy. i have been begging my wife to stop thinking about the present condition, our parents have also assumed the role of counsellors. we both live home together for work everyday, now she lives alone living me behind. Our wedding is less than a year, i feel we are too young for this. I trust God to provide another job soon. For those who have experienced this kind of challenge in their marriage, how did you overcome it? Your advice/counsel will be appreciated.

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You just have to be strong because its a passing phase of life. Nothing will happen to your wife and the unborn baby.
Thank God wife has a job assuming she had been a house wife it would have been more difficult. I believe one door closes for a greater one to open.
May God give you strength to overcome.

Thank your stars at least she is working. I hope you both saved money. Dont worry, it will get better. Get back on the streets and start looking for another job/source of income. Baby does not hear money no dey. And your wife will soon go on maternity. Just reassure her and you will both get through this. It is well.

Re-assure her as much as you can....
she doesn't need no high BP this time around

Onlinebizexpert: .

Are You Human Do You Have Feelings. Jesus Christ,


@OP, There comes a time in every man's life where he would have to face some difficulties. Stop crying and complaining, face what is facing you. There is always a ship in hardship that can sail you through, Remember an arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that it’s going to launch you into something great. So pray, plan and hope.

Good-Luck Brother and may the birth of the child bring wealth, good health and long life into your home.

Tallesty1:
Are You Human Do You Have Feelings. Jesus Christ,


@OP, There comes a time in every man's life where he would have to face some difficulties. Stop crying and complaining, face what is facing you. There is always a ship in hardship that can sail you through, Remember an arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that it’s going to launch you into something great. So pray, plan and hope.

Good-Luck Brother and may the birth of the child bring wealth, good health and long life into your home.

thinking of a tangible advice to give him................................i have a friend with almost similiar experience

Thank God she has her own job. It won't have been easy had it being she's a full housewife.
Keep talking to her and reassure her that things will change for the better.

The Lord is your strength.

This comes as one of the challenges life will throw at you. You need to stand as one to weather the storm,stay strong brother and get back on your feet. Tough times dont last but tough people do.

It is a sad situation but it isn't the end of life. Your wife should take it easy on herself, safe baby and delivery should be the paramount thing on her mind. Losing a job can be very painful, when I lost mine few months back. I felt bad cos I didn't deserve to be sacrificed like they did. Hubby was there to support me. So she needs to calm down and support you. She is thinking of how she will be able to cope with the baby and also being the sole breadwinner of the house.

I will advise that by now u guys will have saved for the rainy. Look inwards and know the biz u can start with. Even if it is buying and selling. Don't look at all the degrees u have gotten. Get out there and do something for yourself and the family. Sitting down to cry won't solve the problem. While u r doing something, if you can learn a skill by the side. It will be very good.

U guys need to support each other as you can. While you are waiting for a job to come do something. It is the best way you can be at peace with yourself. I wish you all the best.

...

This is why it is important to save, save, save. Imagine people that spend money on things that dont make sense and then this situation happens. Saving cannot be over emphasized because ehn, this world is highly unpredictable. All those people you spent on will disappear like wind when tough times come, only just few will remain. People should face their families and save and no unnecessary debt. The world is becoming tougher.

Oh dear.
She doesn't need stress this period at all.
High B.P is dangerous to pregnant women.
Pre-emclampsia comes to mind ( god forbid. It's not your portion)

OP stop crying or at least don't let her see you cry. Our partners are our source of strength. So imagine when a man who's supposed to be your pillar is breaking down in tears. It can lead a woman who's not strong into panic.
And she doesn't need such panic this time around.

Just try and be strong now because a pregnant women is a bag of hormones and can react easily to things around her.
You must be going through a lot yourself too and being strong for her will take it's toll on you.
Just put your heads together and vow to make it as a family intact.

And pls explain to her why she must not let your family have a double loss by giving in to panic.
Your baby will come in peace and in one piece. Mother and child healthy.

A job can always be replaced.(I pray you find another one soon)

Do you guys have any savings? Hopefully you don't keep a woe is me attitude around her. 5 weeks to delivery with high blood pressure means that she likely will be advised to stop work soon if she had not already been told to. Preeclampsia is no joke. Both of you need to be positive about this.

@all, Thank you for your advice.

To PHOCK nor harrrro!
E dey sweeeeeet gaaaaan!
After that na shegey!


OP!
Sorry o!
You are not too young.
Whatever you are going through can only be postponed BUT INEVITABLE.

How can you be planning a wedding with such A HUGE STOMACH?

Like NIKE says:SHA-SHA. . . . . Just do it!
This too shall pass.
You are burning your candles from ALL ENDS!
What is the rush?
Who are you competing with?

You can't control a woman's hormonal peaks, plunges or plateaus.
Pregnant or not!

In marriage na efry one for imsef o!
Na she dey hold 2 LIVES.
But she can't help but worry.
She needs to learn to be POSITIVE.

In all fairness, her hypertension is most certainly PREGNANCY-INDUCED, nothing to do with your job loss.

Even the most comfortable circumstances cannot guarantee the absence of PIH. It is usually a PREGNANCY-RELATED PHYSIOLOGICAL MATTER.

All she can do is REST and take things easy, while you act like a MAN and do your part by doing all you can to improve your circumstances.

Welcome to adulthood!

If push comes to BLOW, she can have an immediate C/S.

Fear is always THE MAIN ENEMY OF PROGRESS!

Sorry about your situation @op

I am kinda more concerned about your wife. Her bp needs to be monitored closely and chances that she'll have a C/S has increased with this elevation in Bp. I hope you have enough money saved should she need a C/S.

Stay strong.

Its going to be alright atleast you are not dead broke(your wife is working)

You need to stop crying....that might also be the main reason she has high bp.

Sincerly to me,this isn't much of a big deal. No situation is permanent....it is as real as it sound.

Pray be positive and try to keep a smile on your face. The baby and your wife are the most important people at the moment. She needs to give birth safely. It shall be so in Jesus name. Start talking to people and sending your CV out online. Try not to be moody or pessimistic around her and if she is trying to go down that route please encourage her. its well

tenry: Tears flow freely from my eyes as I type this message. i am depressed, sad and emotionally down. i lost my job two weeks ago. Less than five weeks to the arrival of my baby, the hitherto joyous mood in my house suddenly turned to sorrow. To make the matter worst,my wife went for antenatal today and the doctor said her blood pressure is very high, placed her on medication and asked her to come back on Thursday. According to him, if it does not go down, she will be admitted. 'This is dangerous for both the baby and the mother' says the doctor.
i am worried, i don't want double tragedy. i have been begging my wife to stop thinking about the present condition, our parents have also assumed the role of counsellors. we both live home together for work everyday, now she lives alone living me behind. Our wedding is less than a year, i feel we are too young for this. I trust God to provide another job soon. For those who have experienced this kind of challenge in their marriage, how did you overcome it? Your advice/counsel will be appreciated.

Sorry for your mess!
The truth is, ONE CANNOT CONTROL A WOMAN's PSYCHOLOGICAL OCCURRENCE not even WHEN SHE'S PREGNANT!
She must think whenever she's idle....
But you can help,
Crack jokes with her whenever she's with you...
Play with her.....
Make her see how optimistic you are about your condition.....
Help her with house chores, she need this help now than ever! Make sure she get enough rest after work!
And lastly, you clean those tears and BUCKLE UP! WORK-HARDER and God will definitely grant your heart desires!
All the best!

Going through temptation isn't a big deal,the big deal is how its handled..her fear is understood,but God is never disappointing. Try to be manly the way you approach things,and don't lament too often,you action,or attitude might be the cause of her HBP..

Op, am so sorry. Since u said u leave home together before, here is what u do. Start leaving home as u used to, submit unrequested applications, ask to work for free(that is if it is a big org ohh), visit yr friends that work in their offices for just five minutes ohh, dont go and spend the whole day there, do menial jobs, if u ve to pack a change of clothes, so be it, but dont let yr wife know, go and buy office shirts, etc from the cheapest market in yr state of residence and sell in offices, that thing u ve always loved doing, create a market for it or even be a driver(i know someone who is paid 60k for driving kids to sch). No matter what u chose to do, still keep looking for a higher pay and ensure you bring money home weekly or monthly. If yr wife sees u still providing, no matter how little, she will calm down, she is only afraid of the lack of money. And finally CUT DOWN ON EXPENSES for now, dont keep leaving the same lifestyle u used to on only one salary, if not u ll run into debt and draw near to your God and he will draw near to you.

egopersonified: Op, am so sorry. Since u said u leave home together before, here is what u do. Start leaving home as u used to, submit unrequested applications, ask to work for free(that is if it is a big org ohh), visit yr friends that work in their offices for just five minutes ohh, dont go and spend the whole day there, do menial jobs, if u ve to pack a change of clothes, so be it, but dont let yr wife know, go and buy office shirts, etc from the cheapest market in yr state of residence and sell in offices, that thing u ve always loved doing, create a market for it or even be a driver(i know someone who is paid 60k for driving kids to sch). No matter what u chose to do, still keep looking for a higher pay and ensure you bring money home weekly or monthly. If yr wife sees u still providing, no matter how little, she will calm down, she is only afraid of the lack of money. And finally CUT DOWN ON EXPENSES for now, dont keep leaving the same lifestyle u used to on only one salary, if not u ll run into debt and draw near to your God and he will draw near to you.

Thank you so much, God bless you

Sorry about your situation Bro! Please do exactly as Egopersonified has advised. It is well with you and may the unborn child bring you more blessings! If I may ask, what kind of field were you working someone might have an offer for you as God works in mysterious ways.
Stay blessed

Dis challenge u face now is only but temporal,Get closer to God and also tell your pastor/priest that you lost your job,their prayers and network of contacts can pull you through...Be a Man...Be strong

I have this personal testimony for your wife. I was in a far worse situation just a few months ago. In december last year, I was eight months pregnant with twins, me and my husband took the decision to go have the babies outside the country. I resigned my job, because I knew with twins I would have my hands full when the babies come.

Just about a month to my delivery date, while shopping we were robbed at gunpoint, my husband was seriously injured.he also suffered a broken leg. He landed at the emergency ward. you can imagine my dilemma, me heavily pregnant, in a country where I had no family. the only person I knew well had ended up in the hosp.my husband was scheduled to have surgery. then as if things cudnt get any worse, during the surgery he was diagnosed to have developed a clot in his lungs.
he was in intensive care for 10 days, I was distraught, but I stayed strong for my babies.
my husband gradually started to improve, and he came home a few days before I put to bed. he didnt work for the next 5 months. But God took care of us.we got favour and mercy from even places we didnt expect.
Alhamdulillahi for his mercies.Moral of the story? This too shall pass!!!
here we are six months later, two beautiful twin baby girls, a healthy husband. your wife should stay strong, job loss isnt the end of the world.

OP dear, so sorry abt ur condition, this is d time 2 turn 2 ur creator. It is well.

op, i would like you to look at it from another perspective; do you know that there are people around you who I'll give anything to be in your position? good caring wife, baby on the way within just a year of marriage, supportive parents, . . . . . i'm sure your job did not give you any of these so the loss of your job should not take the joy away.

the first thing is to think of the worst that can happen, then prepare against it. this is what i mean: if the EDD is five weeks, it means that he can arrive anytime from two weeks. i guess you should have started baby shopping from the beginning of the third trimester but if not just go for the minimum required materials and try to take your mind from what you cannot afford. plan around what u have ( your savings and your wife's salary) as if nothing else is coming from nowhere.

then as one of the contributors said, still leave home every day and search for opportunities even if they are below your level. then trust God for openings.

please be strong for your wife. it is okay to cry and feel bad as long as you are doing it alone. she needs you at these moment more.

i don't know if you are a believer but praying in the spirit helps me A LOT whenever i'm faced with challenges like this. it relieves the hurt, comforts and opens my mind to great ideas.

Going through ur previous posts i observed that you have come through some stuff and you have a rich background this is just another phase and will soon go away. God is your strenght.

Tank God ur wife is workin u for see hell.

subzidi: Sorry about your situation Bro! Please do exactly as Egopersonified has advised. It is well with you and may the unborn child bring you more blessings! If I may ask, what kind of field were you working someone might have an offer for you as God works in mysterious ways.
Stay blessed

my previous work was with a business development company. I hold Bsc in Mass Communication and MA in Communication and Language Arts

my previous work was with a business development company. I hold Bsc in Mass Communication and MA in Communication and Language Arts

samyan12: I have this personal testimony for your wife. I was in a far worse situation just a few months ago. In december last year, I was eight months pregnant with twins, me and my husband took the decision to go have the babies outside the country. I resigned my job, because I knew with twins I would have my hands full when the babies come.

Just about a month to my delivery date, while shopping we were robbed at gunpoint, my husband was seriously injured.he also suffered a broken leg. He landed at the emergency ward. you can imagine my dilemma, me heavily pregnant, in a country where I had no family. the only person I knew well had ended up in the hosp.my husband was scheduled to have surgery. then as if things cudnt get any worse, during the surgery he was diagnosed to have developed a clot in his lungs.
he was in intensive care for 10 days, I was distraught, but I stayed strong for my babies.
my husband gradually started to improve, and he came home a few days before I put to bed. he didnt work for the next 5 months. But God took care of us.we got favour and mercy from even places we didnt expect.
Alhamdulillahi for his mercies.Moral of the story? This too shall pass!!!
here we are six months later, two beautiful twin baby girls, a healthy husband. your wife should stay strong, job loss isnt the end of the world.

Really blessed through this testimony, I hope I will also be in a position to lift the spirit of others facing similar challenge very soon. Thank you Ma.