Pls Nairalanders what should i do, as i've been hiding inside the house for the past one hour. Should i get a matchet and attack it Samson style, you think i have a chance of hacking it down?
Or i should just wait out the beast till it leaves by itself. Pls i'm so scared right now, help me!

Claps hands
U for don faint na
No worry, we NLers are coming to rescue u or better still SUAREZise the damn lion

Werey

Cortana predicts a win for you if you attack the lion

dytbabe: Claps hands
U for don faint na
No worry, we NLers are coming to rescue u or better still SUAREZise the damn lion

Pls help, the beast has moved to the door side and i sense it will try to force entry if its really hungry

Wake up! or call the police.

CORTANA: Cortana predicts a win for you if you attack the lion

I am in deep shit here and you are cortanaring me!

DickDastardly:
Pls help, the beast has moved to the door side and i sense it will try to force entry if its really hungry

That lion must be a slowpoke
Damn
He shld have poked out one of ur eyeball dammit

0rex: Wake up! or call the police.

Bros i dont have any police man number. btw its a remote village and the nearest police station is like four villages away

Picture of the lion in your compound or i don't believe it.

DickDastardly:
Bros i dont have any police man number. btw its a remote village and the nearest police station is like four villages away

Call the Nigerian new police number 112 .

dytbabe:

That lion must be a slowpoke
Damn
He shld have poked out one of ur eyeball dammit

pls help me with any policeman number that u know

DickDastardly:
Bros i dont have any police man number. btw its a remote village and the nearest police station is like four villages away

Lol... Tor I guess last prayers are in order

Idrismusty97: Picture of the lion in your compound or i don't believe it.

i cant snap it, its dark outside. btw i am still contemplating on wheither to attack it or not. how best can one kill a lion?

Lol, are you serious?

Idrismusty97: Call the Nigerian new police number 112 .

i just did and they say i should call the nearest Zoo.
Do you have the zoo number too? abeg help me

Lion pepper soup is good for the body. But write ur will before going for the kill. Please send me the tail when u are done. I love Lion-Tail Pepper soup

DickDastardly:
pls help me with any policeman number that u know

Put up 3000 naira MTN recharge card and I shall be of help

Btw, I can hear the roar of the lion
ROARRRRRRRRR
It shld have taken ur by the leg now
Oh no
U screaming
Kick it in the eye
Hit him with ur phone
Damn
The lion got out ur right leg
Damn
U crying
U helpless
And the lion takes ur head
Chineke and that's the end of u
U are so dead now
RIP OP
Sobs

DickDastardly:
I am in deep shit here and you are cortanaring me!

All knowing cortana insists its a win for you(inside the lions stomach)

DickDastardly:
i cant snap it, its dark outside. btw i am still contemplating on wheither to attack it or not. how best can one kill a lion?

With bare hands like Samson in the Bible. Tear off its jaws .

DickDastardly:
i cant snap it, its dark outside. btw i am still contemplating on wheither to attack it or not. how best can one kill a lion?

get two pieces of red cloth.
Soak it in bucket of alomo
Add pepper, 3 live snail, potash, bitter leaf and 1 boiled egg.
Put in a pot and boil
Drink the mixture and eat the egg/ snail with both their shells.
Tie 1 cloth on ur loin
Tie the other one on your head

You are now invincible (ODESHII)

Go and attack the lion with a small kitchen knife and blind the two eyes.

No matter wat it do you you will not die

dytbabe:

Put up 3000 naira MTN recharge card and I shall be of help

Btw, I can hear the roar of the lion
ROARRRRRRRRR
It shld have taken ur by the leg now
Oh no
U screaming
Kick it in the eye
Hit him with ur phone
Damn
The lion got out ur right leg
Damn
U crying
U helpless
And the lion takes ur head
Chineke and that's the end of u
U are so dead now
RIP OP
Sobs

Idrismusty97: With bare hands like Samson in the Bible. Tear off its jaws .

krall: get two pieces of red cloth.
Soak it in bucket of alomo
Add pepper, 3 live snail, potash, bitter leaf and 1 boiled egg.
Put in a pot and boil
Drink the mixture and eat the egg/ snail with both their shells.
Tie 1 cloth on ur loin
Tie the other one on your head

You are now invincible (ODESHII)

Go and attack the lion with a small kitchen knife and blind the two eyes.

No matter wat it do you you will not die

pls dont play with this, cos dis lion might charge into the house any moment from now

Nairalanders pls pray for me

DickDastardly: Nairalanders pls pray for me

Are you serious?

0rex:
Are you serious?

Of course he is serious.

PRAY for him bro.

i have made up my mind to charge at it. it you dont get an update in the next 10mins. that wil be it. i need your prayers now. here goes

krall: get two pieces of red cloth.
Soak it in bucket of alomo
Add pepper, 3 live snail, potash, bitter leaf and 1 boiled egg.
Put in a pot and boil
Drink the mixture and eat the egg/ snail with both their shells.
Tie 1 cloth on ur loin
Tie the other one on your head

You are now invincible (ODESHII)

Go and attack the lion with a small kitchen knife and blind the two eyes.

No matter wat it do you you will not die

Last supper things Op

DickDastardly: Nairalanders pls pray for me

don't forget to take a selfie of u being mauled by it or better still take a video. This world is over populated after all

RoyalRoy:

Of course he is serious.

PRAY for him bro.

I'm on top of the situation now......picture of the lion loading