₦airaland Forum

Welcome, Guest: Join Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 1,914,194 members, 3,920,144 topics. Date: Saturday, 18 November 2017 at 06:51 PM

My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person (26803 Views)

My Brother Is Like A Houseboy To His Wife / MY BROTHER IS Cheating On His Wife / 6 Ways To Avoid Marrying The Wrong Person (1) (2) (3) (4)

(0) (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (Reply) (Go Down)

My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person by lawa18(m): 1:24am On Jul 12, 2014
My fellow nairalanders, am writing this bc I want to lessen the load that has been pressing down my heart for long now by pouring out to its entirety wt has been transpiring between me and my only brother and I earnestly wish u help me out on wt to do.

I am a fresh graduate hoping to serve come Nov and .mmy brother came back from service in 2011, luckily for him, he got a job with WAEC, immediately after serving. He rented a one room apartment n I visited him in 2012 when I did my industrial training. During my stay, I noticed he doesn't allow our relatives n friends to visit us which became more pronounced when he got a girl friend called Ada. Ada started to visit us gradually till she now visits on daily basis. It became serious dt from daily visiting she started sleeping over and later started living with us. Landlord and the wife complained and quarrelled wt my brother over her sleeping with us but nothing changed. The landlord even slapped my brother amidst a quarrel and the wife once abused the girl but she wouldn't learn her lessons. My brother later relocated to a new apartment ( a room and parlour) abandoning a remaining 6months in the old apartment. The girl moved in with him.

Before I now visit, I v to write an application letter giving him like two weeks notice talk more of any other relative or friend visiting. My Dad only visited once and it was an uphill task bc he has to keep postponing it to avoid Dad knowing about the girl he is harbouring likewise when my mum once visited. Each time I visited from sch, the gal must be there with her clothes and shoes all over the wardrobe. All these gave me little worry until he started talking about marrying the girl.

Though l didn't like d idea, I kept silent over the issue. When I thought God has answered my prayers was the day he to told me that their genotype did not match after they did a genotype test not knowing dt things will become worse. The intimacy started like never before despite d test. I had to confront him one day concerning d girl, giving him several reasons why he should let go of the girl like:

1. Risk of pregnancy and abortion.

2. D girl will prevent him from finding a wife since he said he wants to marry.

3. His reputation n dt of the family will be dragged to the mud.

4. His spiritual life is in jeopardy as he no longer prays since the girl came into his life unlike before

5. Dt the gal has alienated him from our relatives and friends.

6. He is spending on the wrong person and so many other reasons.

After, he insisted that he knows wt he is doing, in fact I should stop telling him dt he is ready to bear the consequences if anything goes wrong. He celebrated his 30th birthday last month, he is not too financially buoyant, he has many family responsibilities but is wasting his future with a stranger.

They have lived for over two years now, they now bath together, he helps the girl in cooking and atimes cooks for her, he accepts anything she says and live his life to please the girl only (she recommends the movie to be watched), she takes call from her other suitors in his presence but my brother cannot. What a world!

I happen to be the only person that knows wt is happening, not even my parents are aware. Am confused. Could it be that they want to take the risk and get married or my brother is just wasting his time waiting for her to get married before he starts looking for a wife.

My parents r hoping dt soonest their son will marry. I don't knw wt to do n whom to seek advice from. I love my brother so much and wouldn't want anything to go wrong in his life. I don't even want people to knw wt he is doing so as not to v problem wt him or taint his image. I solicit for ur help pls

7 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person by Onlinebizexpert(m): 1:30am On Jul 12, 2014
Op afta God d next strongest power is dat of pew.see , try & taste d gal tin if u stil have ur sense afta d event den ur broda can be saved....if d tin sweet die den no say ur bro don go kpatakpata ......interested in online importation biz quote me

13 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person by fijiano202(m): 2:13am On Jul 12, 2014
Do u love ur brother or Are u inlove with ur brother? cos i dont understand the bathing together and watching movies part..you sound like a jealous GF...if u truely love ur brother then u need to start praying for him and also you need to inform ur parents abt whats going on cos u may end up losing him forever..Love is crazy and people do crazy things for love..As u said he may be stupidly in Love with the girl..theres still alot of time to save ur brother but one thing am sure of is that u dont like the girl from the onset of ur meeting........but wait oo u be male naa,bros which level?

36 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person by redcliff: 4:17am On Jul 12, 2014
fijiano202: [b]Do u love ur brother or Are u inlove with ur brother? cos i dont understand the bathing together and watching movie..you sould like a jealous G[/b]F...if u truely love ur brother than u have to start praying for him and also you need to inform ur parents abt whats going on cos u may end up losing him forever..Love is crazy and people do crazy things for love..As u said he may be stupidly in Love with the girl..theres still alot of time to save ur brother but one thing am sure of is that u dont like the girl from the onset of ur meeting........but wait oo u be male naa,bros which level?

It seems you cannot read properly.. his relationship with the girl is disrupting so many other things in his life and most importantly his family..once this starts to happen its a serious red flag for the future..

Op your brother is in a state of krinkrumkrankum otukopia sabalis.

On a serious note, nobody can talk him out of this..not even your parents. Until he has a first hand experience of what she's actually doing to him. There is real power in phusi.

54 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person by fijiano202(m): 4:29am On Jul 12, 2014
redcliff:
It seems you cannot read properly.. his relationship with the girl is disrupting so many other things in his life and most importantly his family..once this starts to happen its a serious red flag for the future..
Op your brother is in a state of krinkrumkrankum otukopia sabalis.
On a serious note, nobody can talk him out of this..not even your parents. Until he has a first hand experience of what she's actually doing to him. There is real power in phusi.
dumbass this is a point of view from the sister,if it was really after meeting the family the relationship got sour the parent would have suspected a foul play...u cant give a solution where theres no prob

7 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person by krazydave(m): 5:15am On Jul 12, 2014
Hmm..... "we find love in different places"....

Inasmuch as it doesn't sound ok to me, i think your brother is old enough to know what he wants...

#jes_kIp_praying

4 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person by Mintayo(m): 5:29am On Jul 12, 2014
Personally,i don't see this as love. To me,any love that will seperate someone from family and relatives is not love. Plus something is wrong somewhere.
Op my advise for you are these:
do a check on the girl without ur brother knowing,i mean background check,find out where she is from,her family members,her friends,who she moves with,trust me you will definately find out something. Also take time to watch the girl closely without ur brother knowing,infact you can get closer to the girl and find out everything abt here. Then tell your parents,your brother is about to take a decision of a lifetime.
And finally,pray for your brother,he needs alot of it.

31 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person by laykhorn(m): 5:35am On Jul 12, 2014
why dont you just mind your f*cking business?
Its his life and every decision is his and only his to make.
.
Cant a man just Fall in love again. I think you're either obsessed about their love life OR you lack such. Lemme ask this, Have you ever been in Love?

51 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person by laykhorn(m): 5:37am On Jul 12, 2014
krazydave: Hmm..... "we find love in different places"....

Inasmuch as it doesn't sound ok to me, i think your brother is old enough to know what he wants...

#jes_kIp_praying
Exactly, he is man enough. All you can do is complain and pray

3 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person by lawa18(m): 6:46am On Jul 12, 2014
for those asking, I am a guy. U guys don't get it, My problem is not that they are in love. Where am concerned is that under normal circumstance they cannot marry because of the incompatibility in there genotype. they r both AS. God knows I am not bothered when they started despite the alienation. How can they marry in this situation. My brother was looking for a wife before he met this gal

10 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person by lawa18(m): 6:50am On Jul 12, 2014
Mintayo: Personally,i don't see this as love. To me,any love that will seperate someone from family and relatives is not love. Plus something is wrong somewhere.
Op my advise for you are these:
do a check on the girl without ur brother knowing,i mean background check,find out where she is from,her family members,her friends,who she moves with,trust me you will definately find out something. Also take time to watch the girl closely without ur brother knowing,infact you can get closer to the girl and find out everything abt here. Then tell your parents,your brother is about to take a decision of a lifetime.
And finally,pray for your brother,he needs alot of it.
check what again? I knw where she is from. Am only concerned with the incompatibility in their genotype.

1 Like

Re: My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person by Pavore9: 9:47am On Jul 12, 2014
OP. since u have spoken to ur brother & he is still adamant, all u can do is pray that d spirit of discernment overpowers him b4 it too late. Have an uncle who took this path, ignored glaring facts, 23yrs down the line, he is living in deep regret!

5 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person by Mintayo(m): 9:52am On Jul 12, 2014
lawa18: check what again? I knw where she is from. Am only concerned with the incompatibility in their genotype.
if your fear is just the genotype, then i think you shld let them be. I am sure ur bros knws d consequence of incompatibilty in genotype.
Btw,at the begining of your Op,your concern was not based on genotype incompatibility.

17 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person by ifyalways(f): 10:22am On Jul 12, 2014
OP mind your business for now.

Your brother is an adult and would live with the consequences of his decisions.

24 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person by sean079: 10:41am On Jul 12, 2014
lawa18: for those asking, I am a guy. U guys don't get it, My problem is not that they are in love. Where am concerned is that under normal circumstance they cannot marry because of the incompatibility in there genotype. they r both AS. God knows I am not bothered when they started despite the alienation. How can they marry in this situation. My brother was looking for a wife before he met this gal

ppl needs to read ur write up again cos i guess d rate of comprehension is low. i fink ur bros is dis type of weak type emotionally. i'll suggest u leave him alone such kind of person needs to learn a very bitter experience dat will reshape his nature, i mean hard lessons but dont stop praying for him n also let ur own lifestyle teach him one r two fins. i mean try to do ur fins d ryt way n let him c ow to handle n manage opposite sex

7 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person by tpia1: 11:11am On Jul 12, 2014
Op

Your brother may be bitter at your family and this is his way of expressing it.


Some people may find it difficult to express their exact feelings and act them out instead either consciously or subconsciously.


I suggest you leave him alone since he's an adult and that's his preference.

Be more concerned about yourself.

You can pray for him, there's little else you could do.

12 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person by Nobody: 11:17am On Jul 12, 2014
leave your brother alone, it's his life not yours

I do not really know why you are so bothered about him, i know you care about him life but you have to let go, you are the only one that thinks he's in love with a wrong lady, your brother doesn't see it that way.

If they finally get married and they have problems in future then it's left to them.

I will advise to concentrate on your own life and try to be a better person or get yourself a partner and move on with your life and career

Leave them alone or you will be the one to be blamed

14 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person by egopersonified(f): 12:00pm On Jul 12, 2014
Op, op, op, how many times did I call you? Leave these people alone, you go and look for your own girlfriend.

19 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person by Howmanage: 12:35pm On Jul 12, 2014
laykhorn: why dont you just mind your f*cking business?
Its his life and every decision is his and only his to make.
.
Cant a man just Fall in love again. I think you're either obsessed about their love life OR you lack such. Lemme ask this, Have you ever been in Love?
Re: My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person by Nobody: 2:48pm On Jul 12, 2014
Aunty Uche, face your blawdy work!

8 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person by Nobody: 3:39pm On Jul 12, 2014
@Op, Bar the genotype incompatibility, is there anyother concrete reason you have for your bruh not to get married to his fiancee?

If your answer to the above question is a capital NO then I'd advice you to let 'em be.

Listen, I once met a lady who had every feature I craved for in a woman. To me, she puts the P in perfection but dang! She was a sickler.

Friends expected me to back off at this point but man I didnt, for pete's sake she's got what I need in a lady, do I have to lose gold just b'cos of a lil scratch? She could be the last of her kind, so I couldn't allow people's views get to me - theories were propagated anyway and one was that El Guapo is serving some serious Ogoja spell cheesy

Your bro could be in such situation and I dont see your opinion or that of your parents changing anything.

I'd advice that you lot stray off his union. Instead of the incessant interferance, support him and his decision, they could become the perfect couple earth has been searching for aeons.

You dont have to push the emergency button when there aint any hazard. cool

13 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person by Nobody: 4:05pm On Jul 12, 2014
ifyalways: OP mind your business for now.

Your brother is an adult and would live with the consequences of his decisions.


As usual. People hide behind comments like this when they want to be irresponsible. cheesy

Responsible people always do not want to live with the fact that a brother is living with a painful consequence. Thats why they try to get in the way. They do it out of love.

41 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person by saasala(m): 4:52pm On Jul 12, 2014
Its too lengthy, but my little advice: Leave him alone, let him learn. Let him read this article, please send him the link, it could help him learn and know what kind of woman he should chose as a life partner. Here: http://www..com/groups/romance/forum/topic/words-from-a-father-to-a-son-about-marriage/
Re: My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person by lawa18(m): 4:52pm On Jul 12, 2014
The whole advice boils down to the fact that I should let them be. God knws am jst concerned about his future happiness. I promise to always remember them in prayers n let them be
Re: My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person by kobonaire(m): 4:54pm On Jul 12, 2014
@lawa18 You brother seems very happy with his choice of life partner and so why are trying to ruin his life? You and your own family have their own lives to lead and so kindly do so instead of contriving to mess your brother and his partner's life.

4 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person by datguru: 4:56pm On Jul 12, 2014
I know how it feels because I've been in this mess before, you can fall in love with the wrong person when you are too eager to be in a relationship and never considered what you want before giving in
Re: My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person by magicfingers009: 5:00pm On Jul 12, 2014
Space booked
Re: My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person by ibe9ja: 5:01pm On Jul 12, 2014
fijiano202: Do u love ur brother or Are u inlove with ur brother? cos i dont understand the bathing together and watching movie..you sould like a jealous GF...if u truely love ur brother than u have to start praying for him and also you need to inform ur parents abt whats going on cos u may end up losing him forever..Love is crazy and people do crazy things for love..As u said he may be stupidly in Love with the girl..theres still alot of time to save ur brother but one thing am sure of is that u dont like the girl from the onset of ur meeting........but wait oo u be male naa,bros which level?

redcliff:
It seems you cannot read properly.. his relationship with the girl is disrupting so many other things in his life and most importantly his family..once this starts to happen its a serious red flag for the future..
Op your brother is in a state of krinkrumkrankum otukopia sabalis.
On a serious note, nobody can talk him out of this..not even your parents. Until he has a first hand experience of what she's actually doing to him. There is real power in phusi.

Una no do comprehension for school?

2 Likes

Re: My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person by kennygee(f): 5:01pm On Jul 12, 2014
My brother was once under a spell like this until my mum decided to take it to God in prayer. My dear, the relationship ended and he is a better person today.
Re: My Brother Is Stupidly In Love With The Wrong Person by iceberylin(m): 5:02pm On Jul 12, 2014
live and let live

2 Likes

(0) (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (Reply)

Zimbabwean Married Woman Elopes To Her Ex, Jilted Husband Fights To Have Her / Nigerian Woman Curses Ex-Husband (VIDEO) / How Do You Feel When Your Husband Spends Most Of His Time Glued To His Phone?

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (0) (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2017 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 160
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.