I stumbled on this on Facebook and I felt it's worth sharing.
NB: This is not an attempt to deride any religion. It's done without any malicious intent.

The kinds of status we would be updating on FB, Twitter & Instagram if we were in the times of Moses, Noah, Adam and Abraham:

1. Guys, it's scary, Lot's wife just turned into a
pillar of salt. #shaking

2. Pimping my camel, Jerusalem here I come...

3. Just chilling in first class at Noah's ark, the
view here is fantastic... but these Lions keep staring at me weird. #Noahsvoyage

4.Chilling with Moses by Mt Sinai...miracles be
going down here.

5. Eve and hubby got banished, they ate the
forbidden fruit. I mean, who does that? #smh

6. Jacob's status: Things we do for love, can't
believe I served her father for 14 years just to get her. Love u Rachel!

7. Some people are so cruel! Cain, how do u kill your own brother? #RIPAbel

8. One of Jesus' disciples post: What a long
day... walking and preaching the gospel. Now
chilling with my brothers. These guys are funny...LLP! (Laughing Like pharoah)

9. Isaac: Damn, dad nearly sacrificed me... #selfiewithram y'all

10. Mary: Joseph is not replying my Whatsapp
messages. He still thinks i cheated...Grow up duh

11. David: Guys this balcony is b b ...I can see everything. Female anatomy 101 #word

12. Jezebel: Victoria's secret is da bomb...

13. Can't believe Elisha just allowed bears to eat up those children. #Like seriously?

14. Samson: The chick sold me out... I'm going to bring the roof down on this party.

15. Judas did what? That bro ain't loyal.#smh

16. Jonah: I'm in the belly of a fish y'all
#INeverExpectedIt

17. Orpah: Not that I don't love my mother in-law or something but a girl gats to move on with her life. It's only a matter of time before Ruth stops her eye service too... #BackToMoab #HomeSweetHome

18. Elijah: Guys, can you imagine this widow that God said will sustain me in this time of famine can't even sustain herself? #NaDieBDisO

Hmm

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

the person above me no get work

Lolzz

Onlinebizexpert: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^

the person above me no get work

abeg u fit fynd work gv me?

Funny

Busuyib: abeg u fit fynd work gv me?

ya.....BLOW...JOB

Onlinebizexpert:


ya.....BLOW...JOB

dumb as s.

Busuyib: dumb ass.

HONEY YOU ASKED FOR JOB NAAAAAAaaaa

Onlinebizexpert:


HONEY YOU ASKED FOR JOB NAAAAAAaaaa

G2H.

Busuyib: G2H.

i dont want to go to heaven without u

nice!

Jesus: They're really gonna crucify me? There is God o!

Lol, dat Mary's own got me laffing.

Lot: Damn! I wish she turned to a pillar of pizzas. Who needs so much salt?

LarrySun: Lot: Damn! I wish she turned to a pillar of pizzas. Who needs so much salt?

Hahahahhahhahahahaha. Very funny.

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