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I'm Not Happy I Need Advice Pls - Family - Nairaland

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My In - Laws Are Not Happy With Me. / I'm Not Happy With My Hubby / Advice Pls (2) (3) (4)

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I'm Not Happy I Need Advice Pls by Threecee: 5:43am On Jul 13, 2014
I'm pregnant with a son, my hubby got a new job dat took him out abuja he suggest we get a househelP b/w the age 15yrs. After a week his friend came with a girl happen to be my house help I called my hubby nd inform him about d girl he said do I like her, told him she just came let me watch her for a week after 1week my hubby called nd said how far about the girl I told him she's ok he now said I should run HIV test for her which I did. After amonth my hubby came to visit us I notice some funny act which I did not care
to ask because of d trust I have for him. What baffled me was my househelp dat was good doing her job well turn to madam over nite I do wake up by 5am, she wake up by 8
30am if I send her message she will frown face, saturdays is clean up day do u knw dis girl still in her room doing nothing, I told her to pack nd leave my house my hubby agree paying her 20k every month I gave her 20k nd she left I was angry I did not boda to tell my hubby. The next thing my sister called dat my was shouting dat why should sent d girl away without minding my sister's hubby was ther dat I don't know anything is only to cook food dat I was crying begging him to marry me dat he konws were he pickd me he just want to paint me black b4 my family. I was working he said I should stop because of my son. Each time we had misunderstanding my hubby alway call my family telling them dat he will send me packing dat I dnt respect. Since we got married he never respect me he do chat with alady even till midnite I never complain. I can count how many time we made love as hubby nd wife im tired I never one day call his family abt the issue I'm having with him but any little thing he will call my family. I'm not happy wit him atall since dis hole thing happen I refuse to pick his call even to reply his txt I'm tired just waiting for him to come bck dis month end. Pls were do I go wrong nd how do I handle d issue pls I need gud advice. Thanks pls dnt mind my mistake if ther is any error.
Re: I'm Not Happy I Need Advice Pls by Omexonomy: 5:55am On Jul 13, 2014
Let us face reality, some house gurl are so seductive that most men can hardly resist them no matter how old she is. Sit ur hubby down and talk to him about what you want and how you want it. Dont quarrel with him again. Reporting you to ur people is not wrong methink that is the best practice abi you want hin to report you to ur neigbours to gossip about?
Re: I'm Not Happy I Need Advice Pls by beeevan: 6:46am On Jul 13, 2014
You married a man child who cannot run his home without burdening his in laws with his assumed predicament. Good advices will pour in soon but just keep your walking shoes ready, a man that always threatens to throw you out might eventually do it one day. Start thinking of working or starting a business and putting in place contingency plans.


All these because you sent home your house help? Hmmmm...

1 Like

Re: I'm Not Happy I Need Advice Pls by santakris(m): 7:03am On Jul 13, 2014
Re: I'm Not Happy I Need Advice Pls by lovinam: 7:11am On Jul 13, 2014
Pls santakris I thin
santakris: What about this? https://www.nairaland.com/1810638/im-not-happy-hubby#24650811
pls I think she is justtrying to hide her identity.


My dear I think communication is lacking in your relationship. You guys don't seem to be talking to ach othr when u have issues. Learn to sit down and talk without shouting. Your marriage is too young to face this kind of challenge. Good thing you sent the girl packing. I hope you can handle the house chores.
Re: I'm Not Happy I Need Advice Pls by thorpido(m): 7:30am On Jul 13, 2014
You married a man child.Didn't you guys spend enough time on courtship to know him?
Well communication is key and you two should spend enough time talking and discussing issues.

If your husband has a thing for housegirls,maybe you should look for a houseboy or you cope with the house chores.
Re: I'm Not Happy I Need Advice Pls by dBard: 7:32am On Jul 13, 2014
It's fairly obvious wat d problem is and wat d solution shld be........
Ur Husband DOES NOT Respect u and u 've got to go earn his respect.
No matter wat he says , most men do not appreciate a stay @home , not doing anything, waiting f handout wife.
U should be seen to b Doing/contributing something.The presence of d housegirl must v've brought out ur faults esp if he didn't c d need f one from onset.
A man that has t 'hustle' from state t state while his wife sits @home not doing her own part, is bound t build up resentment..n obviously, he as well isn't handling it well cos, as peeps 've stated earlier, u both lack good Communication.

my advice; Earn his respect, start bin a bit more hardworking n industrious , and build a stronger communication wit him...that way he can understand n unlearn dse bad relationship habits u complaining about.
All d best cool
Re: I'm Not Happy I Need Advice Pls by ednut1(m): 7:41am On Jul 13, 2014
jst look at ur previous topics. ur suffering from insecurity. u beta get a grip. abeg no let me jam dis kin woman for my life o. shebi u saw d signs u still married him. abeg na u sabi. enjoy ur doom cheesy
Re: I'm Not Happy I Need Advice Pls by Nobody: 7:49am On Jul 13, 2014
UNTILL UR POINTS ARE STRAIGHT...I CANT COMMENT...JEEZZ..

4 Likes

Re: I'm Not Happy I Need Advice Pls by Sijo01(f): 8:45am On Jul 13, 2014
This one strong o
Re: I'm Not Happy I Need Advice Pls by Dantedasz(m): 9:02am On Jul 13, 2014
Another drama queen.
Before you comment. Check OP's posting history.

1 Like

Re: I'm Not Happy I Need Advice Pls by EfemenaXY: 9:38am On Jul 13, 2014
15th March, 2012:
Threecee: Pls i need help, am datin my boy friend 4 ayear nd 2months nw, we r planin to get married but my fear he lie alot nd his not free with me when it comes to his phone. Last month he said am i really sure he is the right man for me, dat i shuld think abt it nd give him my answer. Pls advice me do i say yes or no. Please i need advice

22nd March, 2012:
Threecee: Pls my n/l frnds advice me. My b/f is always pingin every nite till abt 2am, he do ping even @ d bed room nd is buggin me seriously. He dnt like answerin his calls in my present, i dnt knw why his doing dat. Do i comfront him or quit d reletionship? Pls advice me i love so much.

13th July, 2014 at 4:22 a.m!
Threecee:
I'm pregnant and my hubby got a new job that took him out lagos


So, whilst dating a guy, you had a lot of insecurity issues. The guy notices these and asks you the all important question: "Are you sure I'm the right one for you?" He even goes as far as asking you to think carefully about his question before responding.

So, rather than access your relationship to determine if you were happy to be with him (at that time), and if that happiness would be enough to sustain your union with him if you do eventually get married, you run to to Nairaland's Romance Section to ask the kids on there to determine how to run your life??

You had so many warning signs and yet, in your desperate push to become a Mrs by fire-by-force, you chose to ignore the red-flags and get hitched to him. Now you complain bitterly whilst pregnant?

If I hadn't seen your earlier posts, I would have given you some candid advice, but I won't do that now. My advice to you is to go speak to your mum. You sound just too immature to handle any words of wisdom given to you on here.

You've made your bed. Now lie squarely in the middle of it and stop complaining. It's for better for worse for you.

4 Likes

Re: I'm Not Happy I Need Advice Pls by Nobody: 10:12am On Jul 13, 2014
Efemenaxy1: 15th March, 2012:


22nd March, 2012:


13th July, 2013 at 4:22 a.m!



So, whilst dating a guy, you had a lot of insecurity issues. The guy notices these and asks you the all important question: "Are you sure I'm the right one for you?" He even goes as far as asking you to think carefully about his question before responding.

So, rather than access your relationship to determine if you were happy to be with him (at that time), and if that happiness would be enough to sustain your union with him if you do eventually get married, you run to to Nairaland's Romance Section to ask the kids on there to determine how to run your life??

You had so many warning signs and yet, in your desperate push to become a Mrs by fire-by-force, you chose to ignore the red-flags and get hitched to him. Now you complain bitterly whilst pregnant?

If I hadn't seen your earlier posts, I would have given you some candid advice, but I won't do that now. My advice to you is to go speak to your mum. You sound just too immature to handle any words of wisdom given to you on here.

You've made your bed. Now lie squarely in the middle of it and stop complaining. It's for better for worse for you.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Thank you so much for digging all these posts out. You see why some of us say women are architects of their own misfortune? Women will never learn. There is no need wasting time in advising her because i am sure she got some words of wisdom earlier but refused to heed to them just so that she can be a by fire by force Mrs.

Op, you have laid your bed o. please lie on it as you take see am. Your sister is absolutely right. You begged/coerced/forced this man to marry you. He specifically asked you if he is the right one for you. I dnt know what you women gain in forcing marriage on Men. Why are you now complaining? Just manage your situation. women like you never listen. Never!!!

1 Like

Re: I'm Not Happy I Need Advice Pls by ITbomb(m): 10:15am On Jul 13, 2014
I wish the husband was here because

anonimi:

Let us not always be in a hurry to make a judgement without considering ALL sides of the matter. Our elders say:

A gbo ejo enikan da, agba osika - an elder who
judges based on one version of the story is a
uselessly CLUELESS elder

Why would anyone here want to be a uselessly CLUELESS elder

Re: I'm Not Happy I Need Advice Pls by Nobody: 10:45am On Jul 13, 2014
A husband threatens his wife to kick her out of HIS house. lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

This is what happens when people depend on others.

OP, I don't know what you should do. undecided
Have you a close family member you can trust and talk to?
Re: I'm Not Happy I Need Advice Pls by 5minsmadness: 11:10am On Jul 13, 2014
Omexonomy: Let us face reality, some house gurl are so seductive that most men can hardly resist them no matter how old she is. Sit ur hubby down and talk to him about what you want and how you want it. Dont quarrel with him again. Reporting you to ur people is not wrong methink that is the best practice abi you want hin to report you to ur neigbours to gossip about?
1. You understood what she wrote up there? shocked I couldn't make head or tail of it.

2. Where in this story did her husband get seduced by the house girl?

3. Em...what does the Op want?

1 Like

Re: I'm Not Happy I Need Advice Pls by beeevan: 4:46pm On Jul 13, 2014
So you knew all these but still went ahead and married him? Naija girls and marriage, enjoy your union!

2 Likes

Re: I'm Not Happy I Need Advice Pls by edwife(f): 11:24am On Jul 14, 2014
^^^ A do or die affair. grin grin
Re: I'm Not Happy I Need Advice Pls by ahnie: 6:25pm On Jul 14, 2014
EfemenaXY: 15th March, 2012:


22nd March, 2012:


13th July, 2014 at 4:22 a.m!



So, whilst dating a guy, you had a lot of insecurity issues. The guy notices these and asks you the all important question: "Are you sure I'm the right one for you?" He even goes as far as asking you to think carefully about his question before responding.

So, rather than access your relationship to determine if you were happy to be with him (at that time), and if that happiness would be enough to sustain your union with him if you do eventually get married, you run to to Nairaland's Romance Section to ask the kids on there to determine how to run your life??

You had so many warning signs and yet, in your desperate push to become a Mrs by fire-by-force, you chose to ignore the red-flags and get hitched to him. Now you complain bitterly whilst pregnant?

If I hadn't seen your earlier posts, I would have given you some candid advice, but I won't do that now. My advice to you is to go speak to your mum. You sound just too immature to handle any words of wisdom given to you on here.

You've made your bed. Now lie squarely in the middle of it and stop complaining. It's for better for worse for you.
I doff my icha'fu for you.
nwanyi Mara ife ndo Ibu ezigbo detective.
Re: I'm Not Happy I Need Advice Pls by ahnie: 6:30pm On Jul 14, 2014
awon I must marrrrrrrry...I want to hear your husband's version of the story.ayam tayad of bn generous with sin-paty to peeps that wants to earn it Cheaply.

I must hear your husbands side of the story.
Re: I'm Not Happy I Need Advice Pls by EfemenaXY: 8:33pm On Jul 14, 2014
ahnie:
I doff my icha'fu for you.
nwanyi Mara ife ndo Ibu ezigbo detective.

cheesy

ahnie: awon I must marrrrrrrry...I want to hear your husband's version of the story.ayam tayad of bn generous with sin-paty to peeps that wants to earn it Cheaply.
I must hear your husbands side of the story.

cheesy cheesy
Re: I'm Not Happy I Need Advice Pls by ahnie: 9:07pm On Jul 14, 2014
EfemenaXY:

cheesy



cheesy cheesy


you need translation with the first stanza....lol

shalom.
Re: I'm Not Happy I Need Advice Pls by JEITO: 9:10pm On Jul 14, 2014
So you know there were errors and you didn't bother correcting them; u come dey give boys headache like say na crossword puzzle I dey read.

What am most concerned with, is why you chose a 15years old as house-help, when at such age, she should be in school! Do you know that is child abuse?angry cry

1 Like

Re: I'm Not Happy I Need Advice Pls by Islie: 10:25pm On Jul 14, 2014
so, the OP see pit and she go throw way her self inside the pit......

All is well o
Re: I'm Not Happy I Need Advice Pls by Nobody: 8:34am On Jul 15, 2014
Seems like you have to keep crying and begging him to pay you attention or ignore him and get on with your life but there is the sex part oh well whenever you want it you seduce him after the act you continue living and rocking your life.

Or you can do the prayer and fasting thing.

The man sef is a confused man the type that feels happy only when a woman is acting like a doormat weeping for love even if they don't love her they enjoy the power they have over the poor soul otherwise why did this man marry you? I can't see any connection here.
Re: I'm Not Happy I Need Advice Pls by EfemenaXY: 9:39am On Jul 15, 2014
ahnie:

you need translation with the first stanza....lol

shalom.

Oya translate. smiley

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