Ngokafor:


...It was a gradual thing just before we got married..I honestly do not feel so bad cos apart from the fact that he was polite with his suggestions and made so much sense with his legendary 'sweet mouth ' lol,(not the teaching suggestion though )my work is becoming more demanding so i dont think i can cope for much longer..something has got to give..
...My ambition to be very very successful will not wane but i have decided to be smart about it.

Matthewbriggs:

You are really smart, bold and a goal oriented strong black woman. Someone a particular breed of men would find interesting.

But on the downside I have sensed after stumbling on your posts before is that you have this constant desire to argue and contend with men, their opinions, their decision, treating every contact with a man as a battle for superiority.

I might be wrong tho.
#Just saying

crackhaus: These things are not black or white.
Who says a career oriented and highly ambitious woman can not also be there for her children and family?

There are ways around these things that work for heaven's sake...unless the woman is just plain lazy, which is where problem arises.

crackhaus: These things are not black or white.
Who says a career oriented and highly ambitious woman can not also be there for her children and family?

There are ways around these things that work for heaven's sake...unless the woman is just plain lazy, which is where problem arises.

temi4fash: I don't av problems with both parents being goal oriented, driven and the likes... But most times from experience from a lot of my parents friends the homefront suffers... And I mean the kids... We have a very close family friend whose wife is a director in an international bank, the husband is a regional manager... Very beautiful careers.. But they don't know their kids.. Dat family bond is not there... I tink its best when opposite gets married... Weda its d man dat get d family together or the woman so far its done...

carefreewannabe:

I think it is best if children know both parents equally well.

temi4fash: how wuld dai do dat?... When d parents are never around...

carefreewannabe:

Having a career does not necessarily mean that you have no time for other things.

temi4fash: well dai don't... Atleast not the day to day running of d home... And d obly free day most times is saturday.. U still gat to go for some owanbes... Really complicated...

carefreewannabe:

My father always says that there is a solution to every problem

Joel3: i think we have treated this topic before? Why do I have feeling that the op might be carefreewannabe who only user another moniker to popup this again since the former thread is gone due to the recent attack.

It was a complete debate between carefreewannabe, loreta_u and we. We silent them from the debate. Dailynews Well i just imagine what the username of loreta will look like now.

lynpetra: I believe in maintaining a balance between being a family woman and a career woman.In a situation when one has to suffer,let it be the latter.The family remains the smallest unit of a society,if it's foundation is lacking, the society must be negatively affected.

carefreewannabe:
My father always says that there is a solution to every problem

sholasholala: Your friend's point makes sense.
Personally, I have dreams and whenever I think of my plans for myself (career wise), I try to fit my husband and kids in and I finally realized that I can't fully engage in what I want to do if I want to always be there for my kids.
I know that I have to compromise at some point for the sake of my family (especially my kids). But that doesn't mean I will totally abandon my dream and become a full time house wife. No. My career will take a slow pace till my kids grow to a certain age.

carefreewannabe:

Believe it or not, I do NOT have a problem with men, I have a problem with stupidity, be it male or female, and most of all stupid people who want to lead others.

Ngokafor:



....@Op your freind's view is actually very common amongst successful men in this part of the world.

....As much as i understand their point of view,it simply stifles the innate desires of some women to be very successful in their chosen carreers..at the end of the day it will be said that Nigerian women are not as ambitious as their counter-parts in other parts of the world...forgetting the fact that marriage,culture does not encourage such ambitions.

....It is really not fair at all after all the education..I am a 'victim' of such view.As a matter of fact,if my partner has his way,he will rather i become a teacher in a reputable school so that i can have time for the kids when they come and for him as well(to use his words).He even subtly hinted that he would add to whatever i would earn as a teacher if i feel it is too small,this was someone who was so supportive of my carreer and ambitions when we just started dating.

....The truth of the matter is that i kind of understand his stance..i am beginning to put in more work hours in the office and as such the home front may suffer..so it may be goodbye very soon to my ambitions of being an Executive and a welcome to the world of private business.

....

.

temi4fash: I don't av problems with both parents being goal oriented, driven and the likes... But most times from experience from a lot of my parents friends the homefront suffers... And I mean the kids... We have a very close family friend whose wife is a director in an international bank, the husband is a regional manager... Very beautiful careers.. But they don't know their kids.. Dat family bond is not there... I tink its best when opposite gets married... Weda its d man dat get d family together or the woman so far its done...

cococandy: You trashed who?
You must be high on paw paw leaf joel.

How are you doing?

cococandy: This is where people get it wrong.
There's a need for balance yes but it doesn't have to be only the woman trying to balance career and family.
A man should too. This is because the two parents have different important roles to pay in the children's life. One can't be both at the same time. It's healthy if the father steps up too and makes time for his family busy career or not. Even Obama has time for his kids how much more ordinary men. It is only those who don't realize their roles in their children's lives that will go ahead and pursue career 24/7 because they are content with the wife only being with the kids all the time.
Such homes lack balance too.the man will only become a meal ticket and not an intimate daddy to his children. It affects children and has led to plenty of divorces.

So the earlier guys stopped reasoning that it's ok for them to face career at the expense of family,the better for more families around

jhidey08: wot do u mean by pursuing ur career? Wot career do u want 2 pursue dat won't make u av tym 4 ur kids? Wot do u tink ur primary responsibility is? Wot's d essence of pursuing ur so called career and u don't av tym 4 ur child(ren). U can't possibly mix 2 tins 2geda and succeed, it's either u do a less tym demanding job and av tym 4 ur family or u're alwys engaged at work at d xpense of ur family. And mind u, dere is truly solution 2 every problem, bt 1 don't alwys find d solution.