honeric01:

The "you" was not directed at you, hence the "", only for those who fit into the bracket or do you fit?

honeric01:

You are actually the one i should be asking what you are talking about. you said you wouldn't mind competing with men and it's worth it and i ask again, to what end?

jhidey08: congrats o, career woman.

carefreewannabe:

Does it pain you?

carefreewannabe:

Look, I have the job of my dreams. I worked hard to get there. I am the best I can be and my bosses are more than satisfied with me. I love what I am doing. I have a permanent contract and consequently do not have to compete against anyone BUT I had no problem to compete against anyone in the past, men or women, black or white, Germans or immigrants. It was NOT about the battle of se. xes for me, it was about the battle of the best and it got me where I wanted to be. I am proud, my family is proud, my friends are proud so why does it pain you?


If you think that a career woman is unable to raise your children properly, do not marry any. Or if you are so concerned about the well-being of children, stay at home and look after them. What stops you?

Even if you are somewhat scared of female competition instead of feeling motivated, you must KNOW that working women will contribute POSITIVELY to the economy.

Working women → more money → more demand for goods and services → more jobs → more prosperity

bukatyne:

A caveat at the end would have sufficed

It is one trackness to think it is only selfishness or trying to compete with hubby that makes women stay out long hours. Working a job is very different from building a career.

I have an aversion to staying out late. I leave home the latest possible time and leave at the earliest I can after I am satisfied I have done a good day's job.

honeric01:

One question, why would you want to compete in the first place? to prove something that you were deprived?

You can be who you want to be but when it comes to the issue of marriage and raising kids, you must be selfless and ready to let go.

I have no problem with you competing at work or wherever and I have never competed with anyone (work) before so it's not about me.

just letting you know that the home front is not for competitors.

carefreewannabe:

To get the job many others would love to have but very few can.



Only me?




I have competed to get the job many others wanted to have but a few could.
If there was no competition, people would not strive to be better and better, example: World Cup.



Did I say it was?

honeric01:

Yes you are by your 'anything goes attitude" there are roles in the home and this you can't fault because it has remained the best model for home building so far.

When no one in particular is incharge of some roles in the home , what you see is lawlessness and lack of commitment.

why do you think everyone is given a specific role to play at work?

carefreewannabe:

Says who?

Is Nigeria a proof of how successful this model is?



I never said that family members do not have to take responsibilities. All I am saying is that nobody will dictate me what my "natural" or "religious" responsibilities are. It is my and my partner's business.



These roles depend on one's abilities, not on someone's gender. This is the CRUCIAL difference.

honeric01:

By ability , who do you think should be closer to the children?

By ability, who should provide security?

By ability, who should gather?

By ability, who should manage?

By ability, why are men bigger, stronger and rational but single Tasker?
By ability, why are women smaller, "weaker" and irrational but a multitasker?

By ability, why are women more compassionate and more sympathetic/empathetic?

Society, nature, ability and cultural views say a woman gives birth and breastfeed, would you rather the man give birth and breastfeed since you do not want culture, religion or society dictating what is 'default' to you?

carefreewannabe:

Both parents unless re. tarded can be equally close to children. A father, like a mother, CAN be even closer.



I am a lioness, I can provide a lot of security.



Anyone can gather unless he or she is a re. tard. What is difficult about it?



This really does not depend on gender. I have brilliant management skills, so does my sweetheart.



Some women are bigger and stronger than some men, so?
Physical force is not of the utmost importance in modern, developed societies.



Empathy is not a female privilege, if it was, there would be no male psychologists.

You wanted me to generalise, it won't happen. It would be wrong to do so. Reality is far more complex.




I am a social critic, especially when it comes to societies that are failures so do not expect me to stick to societal norms that I consider rubbish, same for cultural norms.

I have no problem with nature but my abilities do not begin and end with breeding and cleaning.

Like I said, there are plenty of women eager to get married and to dedicate themselves to family life and traditional roles, go and find one. I am perfectly ok with it but I will continue making money and my sweetheart is supporting it

Matthewbriggs: I had a chat ... With a friend and he was like he would not go for a woman as ambitious as him.

Just like me he has very crazy ambitions ... We are both committed to seeing our daring dreams come to pass.

He reason is that he wouldn't like a situation where him and his spouse are so preoccupied with their DARING goals at the detriment of the family.

Eg. He goes on a business trip to go seal a deal and his wife jets off to Paris to go launch her new line ... With both of then never having time for the kids or each other due to their demanding careers as they try to build their dreams.

He says he is not expecting her to be a house wife but more like she would have a lesser demanding career or job than his.

He was like their is need for balance. With one of the couple having a lesser dream or demanding career.

I am like if you have someone as ambitious as you ... You both stand the chance of sharpening each other and assisting each other achieve their dreams, I was like it would be very wrong of you to inhibit your spouses goals because you want her to have time for the family.

He was like he would not be inhibiting her ambition if she doesn't have a big ambition in the first place.

So now one of his criteria is a woman with little or no ambition but she would be very smart and intelligent and working class.

I am like you can't be smart without having an ambition. He was like her ambition would not be too big or demanding of her time.

As for me I am turned on by women with really bold ambitions. The only clause is do not forget I exist as you go on to pursue that dream.

What's your take people. Is it ideal to go for someone with a lower ambition than you. Male or female. Nawao for some guys ooo

#MathewBriggs

honeric01:

When you have those who look up to you at home and you stay out late because you want to be paid and promoted at work to me is selfishness. that's what I'm driving at.

honeric01:

It's easy to know someone who's grasping at straw when he or she is basing his or her arguments on rare exceptions.

You have also handpicked what you think you can "counter" while ignoring the rest.

How many women are stronger? how many men can multitask?

Women lacking in motherly features should not get married same with men lacking fatherly features. marriage is supposed to be optional and not a must.

Marriage is for selfless and ever ready to compromise set of people, these features can't and must not be lost to " anyone can do anything " mindset.

It's cheap to play ostrich so enjoy your "anything fly mantra".

tw, I am not searching for what I already have so quit bringing that up. your kind of person are the ones distorting natural balance which the world is presently bearing the brunt of the aftermath effects.

Another error from you, lioness don't provide their own security, the lion does the securing against intruders. if you're married to a man weaker than you, then there is a problem.

carefreewannabe:

I was dreaming of carefreeness when a loved one was sick. This is when I created the account and came up with the name. Times were tough back then, now everything is ok again.

carefreewannabe:

I have countered EVERYTHING and shown that apart from physical strength, which men usually have more of, there is NOTHING else in your post that is particular of one gender. Consequently, MEN CAN AS WELL AS WOMEN TAKE CARE OF CHILDREN.




Exactly. I couldn't agree more.



I never said "anyone can do anything" in a marriage. I said a couple must have the freedom to decide TOGETHER how to run a family.



It is boring to explain one nd the same thing again and again.



Your kind is an obstacle to progress that Nigeria DESPERATELY needs.

Keep telling your daughters that there place is in the kitchen and Nigerian economy will flourish.

Let more chai chai chai diaris God ooo women raise more dumb children.

Let more girls sell their bodies to get a recharge card for their phone.

Best model ever is a joke.



It was a metaphor but if you have never watched female animals fighting and hunting, I recommend that you watch discovery channel.

honeric01:

You still do not get it, rather trying to twist this conversation, no one is saying female should end up in the kitchen, that is what you made up yourself just to "hold on to that straw". My point still remain, the number one JOB of every MOTHER is to nurture, if you fail in nurturing the young ones with the excuse of "working" and chasing your "career", then you have failed womanhood. (Note: I am talking to mothers, not girls or shemales)

They fight and hunt for food "together in a pack" unlike the male lion that hunts alone (CAN YOU SPOT THE DIFFERENCE?) and when it comes to protection, they rely on the Alpha male lion who takes care of the security against other male lions. you should watch National geography channel more and not discovery channel

Nothing wrong with deciding how to run a home, but when you start saying your husband should do the chores you are naturally expected to do on the basis of "anything fly", then you are distorting the natural flow. you said responsibilities should not be shared based on gender and i showed you why most of the "family-related" responsibilities must be shared. now you are trying to dribble yourself and at the same time play the "blackmail" card.

I believe alot can see through your post the kind of person you are.

cinderellla: I admire youu so much carefreewannabe and I deefinitelyy do not agrree withh aall your views.

carefreewannabe:

Thanks but why do you admire me? I am happy to hear you have your own way of thinking

cinderellla: . Bbbecauuse you aare true to yourself...yyyou are focused and you know ww wwho you are and what yyou waant. I strongly beelieve our lives should be our choice and we should all know thhat. Aaa hhousewife is nott better than a career Womaan and a ccarreer wwoman is not betterr thhan aa hhousewife.

carefreewannabe:

Thanks but why do you admire me? I am happy to hear you have your own way of thinking

Chillisauce:

I just read this page now without reading the rest and this caught my attention.

Carefree and Cinderella. Come and explain o.

carefreewannabe:

LOL.

Explain what? I am only making new friends. I have to balance the amount of new enemies. You should try and do the same

carefreewannabe:
What research do you need to see that progressive countries are progressive?

carefreewannabe:
Be more specific. What exactly are fathers UNABLE to provide except for b.r.e a. s. t- feeding?

carefreewannabe:
You STILL have not answered my question. What exactly are fathers NOT ABLE to give to their children that mothers are except for b.r.e.a.st - feeding?

carefreewannabe:
I don't remember, I read this article some years ago at a doctor's office.

carefreewannabe:
This is not what I said.

carefreewannabe:
I am quite sure you are a good man.

carefreewannabe:
A society's progress has ALWAYS very much to do with its core unit called family. No sociologist would dispute that.

carefreewannabe:
I would rather have higher divorce rates than fathers who, when bored with the first wife, get a second or third or ....

carefreewannabe:
I would rather have single-parent homes than miserable marriages, in which women are threatened to be send packing out of the HUSBAND'S house.

carefreewannabe:
I would rather have teen pregnancies, which are RATHER typical of the lower classes, than girls who have abortions in dubious places and men who LEGALLY marry marry kids.

carefreewannabe:
Suicide, drug abuse, se.xual violence and porn addicitons are also to be encountered in Nigeria.

carefreewannabe:
I PREFER TO LIVE IN A SOCIETY THAT IS NOT PERFECT THAN IN A SOCIETY THAT IS A COMPLETE MESS WITH EXTREME HIGH POVERTY AND AIDS RATES AND CORPSES ON THE STREET.

carefreewannabe:
I agree, I was in Turkey some years ago.

carefreewannabe: honeric01

You were debating with me for hours last night and when I woke up you were still here, so where are you now?

I am waiting for an answer.

What exactly makes a man UNABLE to do house chores and look after his children?

carefreewannabe:

I agree and the number one job of a father is to nurture too.



Like I said, it was a metaphor.



First of all, I will NEVER agree that I am NATURALLY expected to do the chores. This is your conviction, not mine but maybe you can explain to me what makes a man UNABLE or DISABLED to clean up after himself / do the chores.

honeric01:

In the office
I don't have any issue with men doing chores or looking after their kids
Now, the chores are not his primary role, looking after the kids are his primary roles.

This role (Looking after the kids) are as follows : (IMO)

Providing food
Shelter
Protection
Love
Support (Educationally and morally)

These are his MAJOR ROLES

The rest are minor.

The chores are to his discretion.

Now, to you:

What exactly makes a woman UNABLE to do house chores and look after her children and why should a mother leave home before her husband and kids and also return home later than the kids and husband?