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Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR - Jobs/Vacancies - Nairaland

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Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by hayoakins(m): 9:07am On Jul 14, 2014
Unemployment is everywhere, they say.

Jobs are not available, they cry.

People only hire people they know, they lament.

We didn't stand a chance, they chorus.

Well here’s my reply to you, dear applicant.

Dear Applicant,

You applied for a job and I called you for a phone interview but you never picked up your phone and you never called back. Did you think I was a stalker or your little nephew asking for money again?

I don’t think you really wanted that job!

Dear Applicant,

I advertised a vacancy and requested that people send in CVs. Your email arrived with a cover letter in the body of the mail. I was really impressed and could not wait to view your CV. There was only one problem. You forgot to attach the CV.

I did the unthinkable… I replied your email asking you to attach your CV and you did not reply me until the next day, without an apology. In any case, it was already too late.

I don’t think you really wanted that job!

Dear Applicant,

I advertised a vacancy and requested that people send in CVs. Your email arrived with an attachment but no subject nor message. All I saw in the body of the email was

‘Sent from my Blackberry Smartphone’

I don’t think you really wanted that job!

Dear Applicant,

I advertised a vacancy and requested that people send in CVs. Your email arrived forwarded from the last place you sent it to. And PS, there was no attachment.

I don’t think you really wanted that job!

Dear Applicant,

I advertised a vacancy and requested that people send in CVs. Your email came in with a short cover letter telling me how qualified you were for the role. You said your CV would convince me beyond all reasonable doubt that you were the one for the position. I opened your CV expecting soo much…. and I did not find one word that qualified you as right for the position. I even used Ctrl F to search for the keyword in the role and came up blank.

I don’t think you really wanted that job!

Dear Applicant,

You were invited for an interview and you arrived slightly late but in good time. I interviewed you and to be frank, you were OK. The only problem was…. You were dressed in a micro mini skirt and had huge false eyelashes.

In my humble opinion, I don’t think you really wanted that job!

I really would love to take a stab at reducing unemployment but job seekers make it so difficult for anyone to help them. And so this is me venting and pleading…..

Prove to me that you really want that job!

Signed,

Hiring Manager.

Credit: Ann Ayinde

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/20140706150420-191617476-dear-applicant-i-don-t-think-you-really-wanted-that-job

38 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by hayoakins(m): 9:14am On Jul 14, 2014
See response/comments below grin

Dear Recruiter,
i got your mail about an interview when i was out of the country and i instantly mailed you to tell you and to crave for your indulgence in rescheduling me for only a couple of days later when i will be back..... I never got ANY mail in the affirmative or otherwise. I even went further to call the number of the HR person attached to the signature of the mail- it was unavailable that day and the days that followed! What else should i have done??! Plus the mail you sent me included the trail of the ones you sent to other applicants as well!

Oh and Dear Applicant,
I've literarily been looking for you with binoculars for weeks now after you were suppose to come pick up your offer letter which i called you in good time to inform you and find out when you will be available to come pick it up, to which we agreed on a particular time and day of the week. Two weeks later, am still waiting for your call, for you to even pick mine or at least send me a mail or an sms. NOTHING! Even if you had a change of mind after our last discussion, you should have found a way to let me know. I don't think you really want this job.

Dear Recruiter,
hank you for your call, but honestly you called at a wrong time because I received no prior notification that I would be called anytime after 5pm or even on a weekend, and when you asked if it was a good time to talk, I was too terrified to say no for fear of you not calling back. Apologies for not being prepared.

Dear Recruiter,
I was so excited that I fit all that you required. I wrote a beautiful cover letter and in my excitement hit the 'send' button without attaching my CV. Oh, common Recruiter, you should have given me one more chance, I really am the best I said I am, but yes, one of my weaknesses is that I am human, so human, that I did not realise my error until the next day. In my rush, just so that I do not miss the beautiful opportunity you present, I attached my CV, and hit the 'send' button again. Alas!! Another error of me being human! I forgot to write the subject! I forgot to apologise! And again I forgot to rewrite my beautiful cover letter! Oh! When would I ever get called now!

41 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by hayoakins(m): 9:15am On Jul 14, 2014
Oya, let's have your own input wink cheesy grin

The Recruiter Vs Applicant WAR

1 Like

Re: Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by DICKtator: 3:31pm On Jun 19
Dear Recruiter,

Remember you were once an applicant


grin grin grin grin

118 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by Harbeyg09(m): 3:31pm On Jun 19
Hehehehehe
Re: Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by NwaAmaikpe: 3:32pm On Jun 19
shocked

No comments
Re: Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by BackToLife: 3:32pm On Jun 19
Ok

1 Like

Re: Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by MDsambo: 3:33pm On Jun 19
So op hav to wait for 3yrs before it hits FP, nawa o

10 Likes

Re: Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by stcool(m): 3:33pm On Jun 19
They don't want you to win....so as an applicant you win more. Start your own company grin
Re: Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by dadebayo1(m): 3:33pm On Jun 19
;Dm!

1 Like

Re: Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by DollarAngel(m): 3:33pm On Jun 19
grin grin

33 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by BroZuma: 3:33pm On Jun 19
Dear recruiter,
I believe you are power drunk and overrated...the Robots are coming for your job.

Best regards,
BroZuma.

16 Likes

Re: Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by NevetsIbot: 3:33pm On Jun 19
Dear recruiter,

I got your mail yesterday stating the fact that I couldn't get the job because I was related to Buhari. I am very qualified for this job and I can easily disown my relative, Buhari. If you still deny me this job. well. you don't want a great employee.


Yours Indecisively

6 Likes

Re: Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by dessz(m): 3:34pm On Jun 19
patience is posting a thread in 2014 and it hits FP 2017 lmao grin

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by Ugoeze2016: 3:34pm On Jun 19
grin grin
Re: Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by delors(m): 3:34pm On Jun 19
I like this.

Dear Job Seeker:
I called you but your ring tone says:
Ghost Mode...Ndiala...Ghost Mode...machine gun. Your father!

I was scared so I hung up.

10 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by lordempire(m): 3:34pm On Jun 19
Ok
Re: Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by villareal15(m): 3:34pm On Jun 19
.
Re: Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by Akby(m): 3:34pm On Jun 19
The good old days of nairaland

4 Likes

Re: Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by driand(m): 3:34pm On Jun 19
grin
Re: Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by davidodiba(m): 3:36pm On Jun 19
All recruiters are the same... No love for the applicants at all... They think they were all employed from the wombs... I pity you recruiters

6 Likes

Re: Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by tunebob(m): 3:37pm On Jun 19
Re: Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by Josh44s(m): 3:37pm On Jun 19
hayoakins:
Unemployment is everywhere, they say.

Jobs are not available, they cry.

People only hire people they know, they lament.

We didn't stand a chance, they chorus.

Well here’s my reply to you, dear applicant.

Dear Applicant,

You applied for a job and I called you for a phone interview but you never picked up your phone and you never called back. Did you think I was a stalker or your little nephew asking for money again?

I don’t think you really wanted that job!

Dear Applicant,

I advertised a vacancy and requested that people send in CVs. Your email arrived with a cover letter in the body of the mail. I was really impressed and could not wait to view your CV. There was only one problem. You forgot to attach the CV.

I did the unthinkable… I replied your email asking you to attach your CV and you did not reply me until the next day, without an apology. In any case, it was already too late.

I don’t think you really wanted that job!

Dear Applicant,

I advertised a vacancy and requested that people send in CVs. Your email arrived with an attachment but no subject nor message. All I saw in the body of the email was

‘Sent from my Blackberry Smartphone’

I don’t think you really wanted that job!

Dear Applicant,

I advertised a vacancy and requested that people send in CVs. Your email arrived forwarded from the last place you sent it to. And PS, there was no attachment.

I don’t think you really wanted that job!

Dear Applicant,

I advertised a vacancy and requested that people send in CVs. Your email came in with a short cover letter telling me how qualified you were for the role. You said your CV would convince me beyond all reasonable doubt that you were the one for the position. I opened your CV expecting soo much…. and I did not find one word that qualified you as right for the position. I even used Ctrl F to search for the keyword in the role and came up blank.

I don’t think you really wanted that job!

Dear Applicant,

You were invited for an interview and you arrived slightly late but in good time. I interviewed you and to be frank, you were OK. The only problem was…. You were dressed in a micro mini skirt and had huge false eyelashes.

In my humble opinion, I don’t think you really wanted that job!

I really would love to take a stab at reducing unemployment but job seekers make it so difficult for anyone to help them. And so this is me venting and pleading…..

Prove to me that you really want that job!

Signed,

Hiring Manager.

Credit: Ann Ayinde

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/20140706150420-191617476-dear-applicant-i-don-t-think-you-really-wanted-that-job

Self employed all the way. Middle finger to y'all HR modafuckas

6 Likes

Re: Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by Ogbodoo: 3:38pm On Jun 19
Hillarious indeed.

Want a great job or simply want to recruit that exceptional candidate, sign up now to connect to your favourite employers; share experiences with other job seekers. Sign up now on the website on my signature. It is free!

1 Like

Re: Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by MrImole(m): 3:38pm On Jun 19
I talk say I want any job?
Re: Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by ymee(m): 3:38pm On Jun 19
hayoakins:
Oya, let's have your own input wink cheesy grin
The Recruiter Vs Applicant WAR

1 Like

Re: Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by Desdola(m): 3:38pm On Jun 19
These are situations encountered especially when one is so anxious to get applications sent. You should review documents and do the needful before clicking the send button
Re: Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by delors(m): 3:39pm On Jun 19
davidodiba:
All recruiters are the same... No love for the applicants at all... They think they were all employed from the wombs... I pity you recruiters
Lol. Mehn that's so funny!
Re: Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by Tenim47(m): 3:39pm On Jun 19
mtcheew
Re: Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by seanswitch(m): 3:41pm On Jun 19
I tell you my friend. The quality of Comments here has gotten worse.
Akby:
The good old days of nairaland

1 Like

Re: Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by Tapout(m): 3:43pm On Jun 19
Hian!! Since 2014!! undecided


Dear op, ur thread just reached front page after 3years
Re: Dear Applicant, I Don’t Think You Really Wanted That Job! Recruiter Vs Appl. WAR by Amylights(f): 3:46pm On Jun 19
The problem is that most Nigerians lack courtesy. If you have a change of mind, kindly notify the recruiter. I believe manner of approach could make them ignore some mistakes

1 Like

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