i would be bashed for this but as long as u advice me, idc.. i have been dating this lady for a while over 4 years to be precise and its has been with its ups and downs but middle of last year i did something very stupid, i cheated on her and she got to know. she almost broke up with me but after constant pleading and apologies, she finally allowed me back into her life.. fast forward to today and she is still mad and angry for what i did to her (cant blame her for it) and still holds grudges that i might do such again in the future if we eventually get married. she keeps referring to it every now and then and its really affecting our relationship. she is also about to travel out for her masters and she feels i would do it again because i might be come lonely cos of the long distance and cheat on her again. am at crossroads here? how do i convince her that i am genuine about my love for her and would never do such again? i ave tried all i can to make her see reasons with me, even done away with all most all my female friends buts its still hard for her to accept i wont do such again.. i really love her so much and i would go to any length for her but the constant reminders about my infidelity is really making me sad. one thing is clear, i dont want to lose her

Trust is hard to gain...and when ur relationship lacks trust, it lacks a fundamental ingredient of a good foundation.

Maybe u two shuld consider a break...give her some time to sort her thoughts...if she returns, fyne..otherwise, count ur loss n move on.

No point thinking of a lifetime with someone who constantly reminds u of ur infidelity...she may want to even the odds wit a lousy fling..and it may affect ur relationship terribly..

@timbes. Its okay bro. I understand....There is no need to say what you did was bad, you know it yourself... Now the thing is that the girl is not feeling secure with you again, there is trust issues here which is very important. If you've explained to the lady and you've 'apologized'....give her a space to make a decision. The tin is that if she fake that she's trusting you while she's really nt...it may in the long run, wreck havoc to your marriage . I don't want sound pessimistic here...but really, the ball is in the girls court, if she really loves you, she should overlook the kink. Now you said you're even doing away with all your female friends!....you can't continue living your life on fear. Fear of 'what if she sees me with this girl, that girl'. I know its difficult....but the summary of my epistle is this; take her to a cool place, (lekki conservation garden will do), and ask her the obvious question....'despite everything wrong I've done, DO YOU STILL LOVE ME?'....judge by her response.

timbes: i would be bashed for this but as long as u advice me, idc.. i have been dating this lady for a while over 4 years to be precise and its has been with its ups and downs but middle of last year i did something very stupid, i cheated on her and she got to know. she almost broke up with me but after constant pleading and apologies, she finally allowed me back into her life.. fast forward to today and she is still mad and angry for what i did to her (cant blame her for it) and still holds grudges that i might do such again in the future if we eventually get married. she keeps referring to it every now and then and its really affecting our relationship. she is also about to travel out for her masters and she feels i would do it again because i might be come lonely cos of the long distance and cheat on her again. am at crossroads here? how do i convince her that i am genuine about my love for her and would never do such again? i ave tried all i can to make her see reasons with me, even done away with all most all my female friends buts its still hard for her to accept i wont do such again.. i really love her so much and i would go to any length for her but the constant reminders about my infidelity is really making me sad. one thing is clear, i dont want to lose her

move on. Believe me,as she dey enta yankee,you are getting relegated from the first team