amakah61:
Hello house, pls I want to know if its possible get married and live happily without courtship ?. Ok here's d story, I have a bf of two yrs who is not yet ready for marriage(he told me so). Resently, a man is asking for my hand in marriage though he knows that I have a bf. Am still wondering how we will live in the same house if I eventually accept his proposal when I dnt even know his character. With the kind of stories I've read here, am so scared.

amakah61:
Hello house, pls I want to know if its possible get married and live happily without courtship ?. Ok here's d story, I have a bf of two yrs who is not yet ready for marriage(he told me so). Resently, a man is asking for my hand in marriage though he knows that I have a bf. Am still wondering how we will live in the same house if I eventually accept his proposal when I dnt even know his character. With the kind of stories I've read here, am so scared.

beeevan:




My dear run far from instant marriage abeg, a man that isn't interested in checking compatibility with a potential spouse can't be worth much up there.

edwife:


And this is what i see most during christmas back home.A guy living abroad or lagos will just see a damsel in december,next thing he wants to do introduction before leaving for his base.

How will the girl/guy show their true colors when you live separately and only communicate over the phone.

It is very sad.....the way marriage has been mishandled.

sueplumz:
Best thread ever. I really have to commend all the men and women who have shared, posted and advised, this is the kind of stuff people pay a lot of money to get and we are here getting it free of charge. I really appreciate. I never really wanted to post but after reading every bit of the posts here (I still can’t believe I did) I mustered courage to post. This mind sound silly to most people but it’s actually an issue for me so here I go………… I once dated a guy on and off for 3 years. The reason for the on and off being that although he was a really nice and funny person, he exaggerated a lot and told many lies and made promises he couldn’t keep. Then I was home waiting for NYSC so I just continued dating him. He always had this dream of going abroad which at first was the reason I accepted to go out with him (he really dint give me any chance with his toasting) because I felt he was going to let me be finally when he travels iv actually had that experience once. Ok the traveling stuff was beginning to take time and being close to him now I was now wondering why he thought going to abroad to do drugs was the best option. He told me he was a graduate and had served too I then asked him to just get a job since he also told me he had some connections in some good places one could work. I tried and tried but it didn’t work till finally he traveled to one of our African countries by then I was done serving and moved back to stay with my mum. During these times, we still talked and all but he wasn’t the only guy I talked to on phone and though he promised and swore to come back and marry me it didn’t go down quite well with me. My Pastor likes him and always believed I was going to marry him but what I didn’t quite understand was if he knew what this guy was into and all but I kept praying cz I believe more in the prayer I say for myself. Soon after, I got married to my Husband. Sometime this year, this guy now called me on phone telling me that the only person that now understood him was my sister and he wants to get married to her when he comes by January, I asked him why he was telling me and he said he hasn’t told my sis. Later I called my sis and asked about the guy and she confirmed they’ve been talking and all, and he asked her to marry him. I was surprised at first but then I know she’s really naive so I didn’t say anything but the issue is I do not know how to advice my sis without sounding like a broken record. I told my husband and he said I need to let her know what she is getting into but how do I even know what she is getting into? For all I know he might have changed then again she might be making a mistake, How can I tell?

beeevan:

Be nice

beeevan:




My lodge mate got married 12 days after meeting a dude that returned from Malaysia. Actually the dude came into their compound because he heard there are lots of girls there. He met the father who arraigned all his daughters so the returnee can hand pick, he chose one of her siblings but changed his mind when they told him she hasn't entered uni yet, he then chose my lodge mate who married him within 12 days. Some girls n marriage sha...

Ilovenigeria:

Thank you very much. I hate it when people say stuffs like "opportunity comes but once" or "by now you would have been married to this man with 2 kids". I stopped going to my aunt's house because anytime I visited she must tell a story of how my suitor bought land, house or car for the wife or how they travelled abroad mstewww.

pickabeau1:


I have not said anything yet

Ilovenigeria:

Thank you very much. I hate it when people say stuffs like "opportunity comes but once" or "by now you would have been married to this man with 2 kids". I stopped going to my aunt's house because anytime I visited she must tell a story of how my suitor bought land, house or car for the wife or how they travelled abroad mstewww.

You mean a Man who wanted to marry you has now bought a Land, built house and bought a big jeep for his wife?!




And ontop that, he has taken the Woman to Overs?!


*I am in tears.. I cant believe it.. How did you miss such a Good quality Man?! *




Kai!!!!! Go and beg him na, maybe he can consider you for second wife.

edwife:


Nawa o,and the one that got me upset recently was my friend's niece who got married to a guy she met during christmas,she took in for him after only 3 months of courtship.Everything regarding the marriage was done within 6 months,and she has 3 kids now in a space of 2 and half years.The girl looks 10 years older and seriously regretting and complaining to anyone who cares to listen.

beeevan:


Bring back our BB and the original PB .

MadCow1:



You mean a Man who wanted to marry you has now bought a Land, built house and bought a big jeep for his wife?!




And ontop that, he has taken the Woman to Overs?!


*I am in tears.. I cant believe it.. How did you miss such a Good quality Man?! *




Kai!!!!! Go and beg him na, maybe he can consider you for second wife.

Ilovenigeria:

Madcow I feel like biting you.

Lol...


Im just kidding darling, I am sure you know that...

Godmystrength:
I haven't posted in a while because so many things were unfolded and i am yet to come to terms with that . The only update i can give for now is that the lady is leaving by month end. In fact, right now she is not in my house. She is with her sister and i am only waiting for month end so i can just pay her october salary and (depending on how i feel at that time),the money hubby is owing her...

To all those who asked after me, i am fine . Thanks for the love.... In due time, i might let you all in the full details

sueplumz:
@bellong thanks for your advice, about the connections I cant say cz I never confirmed.
@rebella: Yes she is my younger sis and I know she doesn't know what she wants and I also know I would never wish someone like that for any of my siblings. I'll just tell her all I know and watch as things unfold. Though I'm really surprised, something tells me this will blow over and I hope it does.

rebella:

I hope it does too, since she is your younger sister it should be easier to talk to her, depending on the relationship you both have. How old is she ?

beeevan:



3months is enough to know someone, the guy just no be material. I Feel sorry for her, advise her to go for FP, dust her cert and start job hunting if she no fit fall out.

Ilovenigeria:

Thank you very much bellong, @giving me time means that time we get to know each other. For instance someone visited your parents on 23 December and wants to do introduction on 27th then traditional marriage on 6th January, all that is needed is for you to say yes.

MadCow1:



Lol...


Im just kidding darling, I am sure you know that...

sueplumz:


She's 24 and we have a good relationship that's why I want to believe that she doesn't know what she wants. I'm treading softly so as not to drive her far.

Ilovenigeria:

Thank you very much bellong, @giving me time means that time we get to know each other. For instance someone visited your parents on 23 December and wants to do introduction on 27th then traditional marriage on 6th January, all that is needed is for you to say yes.

edwife:


As for me 3 months is not enough but if both are bent on making it work and give your best shot then its can be applicable.

The girl still in school,i think this is her final year.

sueplumz:


She's 24 and we have a good relationship that's why I want to believe that she doesn't know what she wants. I'm treading softly so as not to drive her far.

aisha2:


At first i wanted to say its okay not to have a long courtship thinking you meant a year or something but 2 weeks chai, i no gree. They just want a wife any wife and have a mindset.

Please dont feel pressured, leave all those aunts, na so them use me talk now them dey use me do example as the one wey get brain.

Marriage is serious business its not an emergency Christmas deal. Please date, i dated for less than a year even though within the first 2 weeks we were talking possibility of marriage no one pushed other and issued threats. We knew we wanted to be together but still took time to date and enjoy dating and also learn to understand each other.

Godmystrength:
I haven't posted in a while because so many things were unfolded and i am yet to come to terms with that . The only update i can give for now is that the lady is leaving by month end. In fact, right now she is not in my house. She is with her sister and i am only waiting for month end so i can just pay her october salary and (depending on how i feel at that time),the money hubby is owing her...

To all those who asked after me, i am fine . Thanks for the love.... In due time, i might let you all in the full details

kemachuk:
I'm a regular reader of ds thread now I have an issue on my hand. I've bn married for 2yrs with a Beautiful daughter. I notice lately my hubby has really been chatting with his Ex. She resides in Canada. Just 2days ago she sent him snapshot of letters and pictures de exchanged way back in school. Although he doesn't know I've been reading his chats. Pls how do I handle ds?
Besides d Lady isn't married.

Ilovenigeria:

yeah I know. E dey pain sometimes shaaa.

Think about this carefully before you answer as I am very interested in hearing what you have to say:



The Guy... The Overseas living, Big Jeep driving, Land and house building guy that got away.. _{Still Kidding..}

Knowing everything you know now; As in his life today, his wealth, his everything... and I put you in a capsule and warp you back in time, would you have followed through with the relationship and married him..


Be honest..