Can't find my post!!!!

Goodafternoon.

Ilovenigeria:

You are hereby ignored!!!!!!!!!!

Seconded...

Those in support say
ayyee aiiiiiiiiii
Those against say nay.
The aye have it.
Therefore vamouzZ frm here b4 amadioha come pay U homage....

Please no one should derail this thread. Reading all these epistles can be tiring sometimes so y'all should try and cut it short. Thanks....

Happy sunday my online family. Im here again for advice. Yesterday while chatting with my fiance *he's in lag im in d east* there was a short pause in the conversation and when he came back online he said he just saw a babe pass dat he has been standing by the window looking. I now said why is he wasting time he should run downstairs and chyke the babe na. That he should not forget to give me the full gist later. He now said that by the time he got downstairs that d babe had gone far. I told him to take his seat closer to the window so that he would see the next one on time and we laughed and he said no he doesnt need that that the one he has is way better than all those ones. So we continued with our conversation. Later when what happened came up when i was discussing with a friend of mine she said that what i said was wrong that im encouraging him to cheat! But i dont see it that way at all. House what do you think? I know say i dey ask too many kweshions abeg make una no vex.

@ breadplanets
For me I don't see anythn wrong wth it. Its just being playful with one's hubby. My hubby and I joke with stuff like ds alot. I. Remember wearing a new red bump short one day and hubby came back dt evening and was peeping thru d window to the car park. I was wondering what he was doing until he said 'I'm checking to see if Jude(not real name) is back from work and u ran out from his flat when u saw me driving in and I answered 'yes oh I after seducing him, he's gone back to the office. And we laughed over it. All in all I got d msg that I'm looking hot. Beside Jude is a Bachelor in d block.
I don't get how u are encouraging him to cheat oh. Dat friend of Urs is too serious and stiff jare
#my2cent

breadplanets:
Happy sunday my online family. Im here again for advice. Yesterday while chatting with my fiance *he's in lag im in d east* there was a short pause in the conversation and when he came back online he said he just saw a babe pass dat he has been standing by the window looking. I now said why is he wasting time he should run downstairs and chyke the babe na. That he should not forget to give me the full gist later. He now said that by the time he got downstairs that d babe had gone far. I told him to take his seat closer to the window so that he would see the next one on time and we laughed and he said no he doesnt need that that the one he has is way better than all those ones. So we continued with our conversation. Later when what happened came up when i was discussing with a friend of mine she said that what i said was wrong that im encouraging him to cheat! But i dont see it that way at all. House what do you think? I know say i dey ask too many kweshions abeg make una no vex.

some people will use their lack of humor to destroy another persons Rship!! DONT mind your friend plssss

Breadplanet don't mind them, these are the things your fiance will miss about you. If only you know or see the happy looks in his face while gisting about it with his friends.

@ bread planet.
I do the same thing too. I even go as far as asking about his female friends. Abeg relax joor. D koko is that u both trust yourselves.

breadplanets:
Happy sunday my online family. Im here again for advice. Yesterday while chatting with my fiance *he's in lag im in d east* there was a short pause in the conversation and when he came back online he said he just saw a babe pass dat he has been standing by the window looking. I now said why is he wasting time he should run downstairs and chyke the babe na. That he should not forget to give me the full gist later. He now said that by the time he got downstairs that d babe had gone far. I told him to take his seat closer to the window so that he would see the next one on time and we laughed and he said no he doesnt need that that the one he has is way better than all those ones. So we continued with our conversation. Later when what happened came up when i was discussing with a friend of mine she said that what i said was wrong that im encouraging him to cheat! But i dont see it that way at all. House what do you think? I know say i dey ask too many kweshions abeg make una no vex.

This is a bit dicey as on one hand you are single-handedly shooting yourself in the foot whereas on the other hand you are trying to make your man extremely comfortable with you by showing in an extreme/matured way that you aren't the jealous type.

Here are the problems/risks:
1) There seem to be some sort of lack of disrespect coming from your man by him telling you how he is checking a pretty girl out. You guys might be pretty comfortable with the idea in the past but there is a serious consequence that could manifest if temptation sets in

2) Nothing wrong with sharing jokes about the opposite sex with your man/woman. You shouldn't cross the line by actively suggesting he/she makes the move. Relationship is not a game so don't treat it as such

3) What happens if he starts comparing you to these hot chicks that he is seeing about the place?

jaybee3:

This is a bit dicey as on one hand you are single-handedly shooting yourself in the foot whereas on the other hand you are trying to make your man extremely comfortable with you by showing in an extreme/matured way that you aren't the jealous type.

Here are the problems/risks:
1) There seem to be some sort of lack of disrespect coming from your man by him telling you how he is checking a pretty girl out. You guys might be pretty comfortable with the idea in the past but there is a serious consequence that could manifest if temptation sets in

2) Nothing wrong with sharing jokes about the opposite sex with your man/woman. You shouldn't cross the line by actively suggesting he/she makes the move. Relationship is not a game so don't treat it as such

3) What happens if he starts comparing you to these hot chicks that he is seeing about the place?

Oh oh.... Now that is scary.

breadplanets:
Oh oh.... Now that is scary.

Did you in your wildest dream think temptation is a one way thing?
What if the other girl he jokingly chats up is equally tempted?

You do not play with matter of the heart. I'm not asking you to be jealous but don't go validating and/or instigating dangerous games either

All the best

jaybee3:

Did you in your wildest dream think temptation is a one way thing?
What if the other girl he jokingly chats up is equally tempted?

You do not play with matter of the heart. I'm not asking you to be jealous but don't go validating and/or instigating dangerous games either

All the best

Thank you very much.

@goodheart4god, I'll only advice that you allow that same love that 'blinded' you when you were courting this guy to continue to 'blind' you.
Whoever told you he will change when you get married laffSssss. That's the mistake we ladies make when we are chhosing a partner. I always tell unmarried chics out there that whatever you cannot tolerate in a man when you guyz are dating, its better for you to bolt away when the door is still open, not after locking yourself in you will be xpecting change, change from where. Let me tell you the home truth, the more you are talking about it and xpecting him to change, the more he is finding pleasure in doing it.
ADVICE? Press the ignore button and hold it down. When he sees that you care less about it (genuinely) not pretense oo, on his own he will adjust, but if he doesn't, still don't release your ignore button.
As for savings, save for yourself and your kids, leave him to worry about his future, na him go shame go catch when all his mates don buy car build houses, and he's still walking on his Legedez or managing one tuke tuke, and still living in a rented apartment.
So long as he still gives u money for house upkeep, you can save a lot from it. If you are the type that makes a shopping list for him (some men likes to see list first before bringing money) who says you mus buy one packet of maggi for instance, you can buy half and kip d change. You may not know but little monies like this makes a whole lot.
God bless my momma, I learnt a lot from that woman, she is a house wife, but when money issue comes up, she spends more than those working. She will continue to be my role model.
My dear, stop bothering your little pretty head with petty stuffs. Your hubby will not change. That is his nature. You saw it, you loved him, you married him, LIVE with IT.
However the only aspect I'll strongly recommend that you watch closely, is his actual relationship with these ladies, if you are certain that he isn't cheating on you with any of them(which am sure you are not sure of) then let him be. But if he is...

Talking about cheating...

@Godmystrength
When I read your post the first thing that came to my mind (out of anger) was how am going to apply cameroun pepper on his blokos (if it were my hussy) and how am going to bring down the roof of the house for him to know how angry and betrayed I feel, but after that, then what
The question is what do you want out of the whole mess, a house full of sh1t or a well cleaned up mess? For me I'll decide on the latter.
I'll tell you a story, it was an episode I saw on our dear super story long time ago. A wife caught the hubby red handed cheating, of course the hubby knew there was no way out, after work dat day he was so scared of going home cos he didn't know what he was going to meet, but he went home afterall, the wife was as sweet as he has never seen before (kai, I hail some women, they can be hurting behind a beautiful smile) oga was scared, very scared oo. Wife has served his food, prepared water for him to bath, welcomed him warmly with a smile, and led him to the room to freshen up. Oga was walking like a lamb being taken to the slaughter house. He manager to bath, took a few spoons out of the meal, and retired to the bedroom to join the wife. He was waiting for that fire, that confrontation, wifey was busy sleeping or so he thought, he was rehearsing all the excuse and explanations he will give, wifey no send am. He couldn't bear it anymore when he noticed wifey was not speaking up (unlike her) he had to wake her up. Before he could say any thing, wifey told him not to bother, that she taught she was a good wife to him, cos she has tried to meet all her obligations as a wife to him and even more, but for him to go after another lady, shows that she has not done enough, and that she has decide to check herself and know what she was doing wrong that made her sweet DH to even think of being with another woman.
Honestly when she was speaking, in my mind I was like what rubbish, I was angry on her behalf, but that method changed a whole lot of thingz in dia marriage, you may say its super story, yes it was, but there is a lot of wisdom in it.
My dear Godmystrength, the advice am going to give you may be too difficult for you to follow (even me sef wey dey give am, I don't know if I can apply it when I find myself in such situation). The above story is for a husband that has conscience, not for end-time dudes. From all indication, you hubby has conscience and is a good man, for him to acknowledge his weaknesses and pray about them.
I don't know if you have confronted him with the note, if you have then its okay, but if you have not, try this if you can, drop the note on the table, or any strategic open place where he will see it and knows that u have seen and and you are the one dat kept it there. Try to act normal as if nothing happened, smile more if you can, just do your things normally, if he asks you any questions or talks to you about anything, respond calmly but cheerfully, try and hide ur hurts, (they will definately come out but let it be at the right time). Don't confront him verbally, the confrontation on ground is already enough. He will be the one seeking for your attention now, wanting to talk. And explain thingz, at this point, he'll be scared of what you have in mind, cos he can't predict you. He may not know how much you are hurting, when he comes for the talking/explaining, this will now be ur time to bare ur mind to him (you know how best to talk and get across to his conscience). You need a lot of wisdom and maturity, and of course the grace of God to do this. After this episode, I doubt if he will ever have the nerves to think about cheating on you again(am sure he's not an end-time hubby).
Matching fire with fire all the time does not work in all situations in marriage. I know and am certain you want to keep your home intact and see dat change you so much desire in your hubby. God will do it for you. Remain strong.
Cheers.

breadplanets:
Oh oh.... Now that is scary.

Jaybee's point is why I didn't comment initially,am very playful but my man blatantly telling me he is checking out a girl? E get as e be you, you encouraging him to go for it? What if he wasn't joking? Abeg I no fit shout.

beeevan:




Jaybee's point is why I didn't comment initially,am very playful but my man blatantly telling me he is checking out a girl? E get as e be you, you encouraging him to go for it? What if he wasn't joking? Abeg I no fit shout.

Chai!!! I no do again biko.... The joking is over!

breadplanets:
Chai!!! I no do again biko.... The joking is over!

chaircover:


God will hear your prayer regarding a job & your business. It is well
My dear just relax. Dont let anyone give you HBP, God forbid if your enemy dies, life goes on, so please take care of yourself. Emotional distress eventually affects ones health
Also please be very prayerful. There is nothing that God cant do & some of these battles are won on ones knees
Go through everyones advise again and pick the ones that you havent already done and you feel may work. Continue to be positive. It is well sis.

Thank you sisi CC

Snazzylove thank you. I really appreciate. God bless you.

Hey
why is everyone soooo quiet? Hope all is well in your homes.

let me share this with you guys; I have a new SIM card I bought but rarely use(can't even remember the number sef) So one day I wanted to send a text to hubby but had no airtime in my phone (my number) so I decided use the new number. This is what I sent: hi dear just checking on you. What's up. Lov u."

Since hubby did not have the new number he did not know who sent the number so he started calling the number. The guy insists oh I no pick na laff dey kill me. After 2 tries he gave up. For my mind I was like "so am not the only one who could possibly send a love text to this guy?

I later called him and we laughed over it. He said he was just doubting who would send such text to him. Lol

@stages, u dey fain trobulu
It can be fun anyway. I did something like dat too, But I didn't confess my sins . Mine I actually fixed appointment oo. And hussy kept calling to know who d person is, but got frustrated when I stopped picking the calls, hehehehe. He came back to give me the gist, I no fit fit tell am say na me be d mysterious babe .
@Godmystrength, where at thou??
Hope you are okay?

snazzylove:
@Godmystrength, where at thou??
Hope you are okay?

I am fine o my sister... things are happening jare...

Godmystrength:
I am fine o my sister... things are happening jare...

Its well!

Hi ladies I have a little issue bugging me. When I was working I took a loan to assist hubby in somethings. It isn't our project. It is his family project. I left work with nothing and he is aware. So the little I had left, he came to borrow it again. The remaining part of that little was given to a friend as safe keep to keep his prying Eya away from it.

Now fastforward to my project, I need money. Over half a million. He isn't talking about paying back and I don't know how to ask him. When I asked him how I ll execute the project, he made reference to the money with the guy. That after all I have my money somewhere.

I have been angry but I just kept cool. I know he is waiting for die minute to bring quarter of the money, but I am a planner I need to as well pay quarter of the money now as it mandatory for me.

Hispinkolo, snazzylove please make una come o

@goodheart4God, sorry you're in such a fix right now. But have this at the back of your mind "hubby's never pay back"!!!
You give & forget it completely unless you're prepared for stories that touch later.

Right now all you can do is to plead & make him see reasons why you need the money ASAP. Or better still, stop asking him to pay you back the money you gave him, instead beg him to help you with setting up the business you have in mind.

DIDIVA:
@goodheart4God, sorry you're in such a fix right now. But have this at the back of your mind "hubby's never pay back"!!!
You give & forget it completely unless you're prepared for stories that touch later.

Right now all you can do is to plead & make him see reasons why you need the money ASAP. Or better still, stop asking him to pay you back the money you gave him, instead beg him to help you with setting up the business you have in mind.

Whether I plead or don't he will still bring the money later, but my worry is that he won't bring exactly when I need it. He just wants to make sure I don't have any money in my hand. That is what I interpret from his words. Telling me to go meet the person keeping the quarter of the money when hr has a greater share is what I don't get.

goodheart4God:
Hi ladies I have a little issue bugging me. When I was working I took a loan to assist hubby in somethings. It isn't our project. It is his family project. I left work with nothing and he is aware. So the little I had left, he came to borrow it again. The remaining part of that little was given to a friend as safe keep to keep his prying Eya away from it.

Now fastforward to my project, I need money. Over half a million. He isn't talking about paying back and I don't know how to ask him. When I asked him how I ll execute the project, he made reference to the money with the guy. That after all I have my money somewhere.

I have been angry but I just kept cool. I know he is waiting for die minute to bring quarter of the money, but I am a planner I need to as well pay quarter of the money now as it mandatory for me.

Hispinkolo, snazzylove please make una come o

Does he have the money to pay you back?
I dont subscribe to lending/borrowing money between husband and wife
I also never lend money to someone that I cant do without just in case the person doesnt pay me back
There is enough stress between hubby and wife before adding financial stress to it
My dear go and collect your quater from your friend and start your project on a small scale
You may or may not get your money back from your hubby, so rather than wait and not doing anything, start on a small scale
Lesson learnt. Next time direct your hubby to a bank if he wants a loan or give him the money as a gift rather than lending him momey. especially substantial amounts.

goodheart4God:

CC has summarised all we are trying to say to you. Don't bother making a fuse that he should pay back & at the time you want it or waste your time getting angry, na only headache you dey give yourself Sis. Just look for other ways to sort yourself while learning your lessons from this.

Meanwhile, why don't you fix your money in the bank as a time deposit investment instead of allowing it exchange hand & get lost in the process.

My hubby is also like this (despite the fact he makes 20 times more money than I do). I had to learn my lessons & devised a better way of beating him to it! I now make sure I fix every one naira by topping it up to my existing fixed deposit.
That way he'll find it difficult asking me to borrow him some money since am purportedly broke by the ledger. So no Atm withdrawals, transfers or withdrawals over the counter & of course he knows liquidating a fixed deposit (whether partial or complete liquidation) dey hard pass university admission for Naija.
So everyone gets to rest from borrow me this borrow me that.
The only time I listen to his liquidation story & move a muscle is when we have a project we want to execute.

chaircover:


Does he have the money to pay you back?
I dont subscribe to lending/borrowing money between husband and wife
I also never lend money to someone that I cant do without just in case the person doesnt pay me back
There is enough stress between hubby and wife before adding financial stress to it
My dear go and collect your quater from your friend and start your project on a small scale
You may or may not get your money back from your hubby, so rather than wait and not doing anything, start on a small scale
Lesson learnt. Next time direct your hubby to a bank if he wants a loan or give him the money as a gift rather than lending him momey. especially substantial amounts.

Sisi CC he doesn't have the money now but I guess he will find it before that time though not everything. If this money was for our project I wouldn't have bothered but it was for his family project that I won't even get to enjoy the proceeds. You can't stay without borrowing him money o na wahala you dey find. When I was working he knew how much I earned and like I earlier said he doesn't plan his life. Carrying more than he can afford. These monies where borrowed with the intention of paying back. What I want to do isn't a project like investment it is actually to pay fees for my advanced degree.

That money with a friend was actually to be saved not to be spent. I kept it for rainy day.