Guys, do you know how cool it would be
to see your ex girlfriend years after y’all
have dated and have a smirk forming on
your face simply because you know deep
down that you are the best she has ever
had
in and out of the bedroom?
Do you know what that does to your ego?
How it adds extra stars to your super
dating powers? How it gives you yet
another trophy for being the best
boyfriend ever walketh?
Just in case you have never felt that way
and you would not mind feeling that way,
here are ways to be that guy.
BE A GOOD KISSER
*cue in Usher’s Good Kisser *
Do it so well and let her know, don’t
nobody kiss it like you bang bang bang!
Give her orgasms from kissing if possible.
Own those lips forever that even when
she’s gone and she’s officially kissing
another brother, your name is what pops
up in her mind while she’s kissing him.
Yeah, dat kain tin.
GIVE HER SEXUAL HEALING
*cue in Marvin Gaye’s Sexual Healing *
Touch that body like it has never been
touched, leave your name on the lips like
you want to leave your name on the
sands of time. Own that P forever and
give her a permanent soundtrack. Let
your face be what pops up in your mind
whenever she hears the word “Daddy (cos
you her daddy), ” give her the good loving
that can never be rivaled. Let’s see if she
won’t be thanking the supernatural
beings for your D and doing the
anniversary of your break up years after
y’all are over.
BE MORE ROMANTIC THAN ALL YOUR
FOREFATHERS (AND EVERY OTHER
PERSON’S FOREFATHER)
cue in Neyo’s One in a million
Let her feel like a million bucks when she
is with you. Love her, respect her and let
other women envy her. Surprise her with
gifts, love her like she has never been
loved and always be there for her.
Do things that will make her want to stick
with you forever and let her know if you
have your way, you will never let her go.
HAND HER YOUR MUMU BUTTON
Cue in all of Drake’s music
Hand her your mumu button, let her know
she has the whole of you and you would
move mountains for her, all she has to do
is ask for it. Let’s see if her next can beat
this.
LET HER KNOW ITS EITHER HER OR
NOBODY ELSE
*cue in Timi Dakolo’s Iyawo Mi *
Show her your future, with the bright
lights and the colours that make the
rainbow seem dim. Then plant her in it
and let her know it is her or nobody else.
Build your world around her and let her
know she owns it and you would not
share all those things with anybody else.
HELP HER FIND HER
I still remember my recent ex who
believed so much in me he helped me see
how big I could become and how much he
was ready to push me to achieve my
dreams. He would buy books, tell me it
would be fine when he seemed like I would
never realize my dreams and help me
through the hardest days.
We’ve been exes for two years now but I
still remember him. I have breakthroughs
in my career now and I know deep down
that if we were on speaking terms, he
would be the first person I would call to
share the news with.
When you help a woman find her, hold her
hands through the hardest times and be
the man who believes in her dreams, I
don’t see her forgetting you.
These things should be what you should
do for every woman you care deeply
about, not because you want them to
move on and always want to run back to
you, but because it is the right thing to
do. But hey, who says you can’t do a
little for the ego too sometimes?

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I aint reading that shit

Ain't got time for all that shiit

Yea, I read it all.

I did that all too...