disturbedhubby: My thread title is not a joke even it seems funny. Right now she is threatening with divorce because of this issue.

The genesis of this matter started 2 years ago when I got a new job. At this new place I met a female colleague that became good friends with. Truly we admired each other but I am married and I made it plain to her that I love my wife and have no interest in an affair. She has never tried to seduce me either. My wife knew about my closeness to this lady and has spoken to her on phone several times and in fact they have meant twice. A few weeks ago my wife and I started buying akara and bread on the way to work. We'll eat in the car as we go to work and then the rest I take to my office. My colleagues and I join to eat it and because it is quite nice they ask me to buy for them. This my female colleague one day gave me money to buy for her which I did and brought to the office only to discover she wasn't around. I bbm'ed her and she said she was ill. I felt bad because she gave me money and I didn't want it to waste so I offered to take it to her and she said no need.

Now I hardly delete my messages because I believe I have nothing to hide neither is my phone passworded. My wife saw the chat while going through my phone and raised fire and brimstone. I couldn't believe it. Despite all my assurances and explanation she still insists that I am having an affair with my colleague.

Guys help me o! I don tire for this kind of suspicions. What more can I say to convince her?

disturbedhubby: My thread title is not a joke even it seems funny. Right now she is threatening with divorce because of this issue.
The genesis of this matter started 2 years ago when I got a new job. At this new place I met a female colleague that became good friends with. Truly we admired each other but I am married and I made it plain to her that I love my wife and have no interest in an affair. She has never tried to seduce me either. My wife knew about my closeness to this lady and has spoken to her on phone several times and in fact they have meant twice. A few weeks ago my wife and I started buying akara and bread on the way to work. We'll eat in the car as we go to work and then the rest I take to my office. My colleagues and I join to eat it and because it is quite nice they ask me to buy for them. This my female colleague one day gave me money to buy for her which I did and brought to the office only to discover she wasn't around. I bbm'ed her and she said she was ill. I felt bad because she gave me money and I didn't want it to waste so I offered to take it to her and she said no need.
Now I hardly delete my messages because I believe I have nothing to hide neither is my phone passworded. My wife saw the chat while going through my phone and raised fire and brimstone. I couldn't believe it. Despite all my assurances and explanation she still insists that I am having an affair with my colleague.
Guys help me o! I don tire for this kind of suspicions. What more can I say to convince her?

emsheddy: Trust issues bro. Its either she didnt believe u at first and has been looking for an evidence that u do visit the female colleague at home or someone has planted wrong seeds into her. She is only jealous man. It will die down. Just keep assuruing her or dislink urself from dat ur female colleague ohhhhh

sexylogan:

Wow. Kpele. Seems like your wife has serious trust issues. Have she ever had cause in the past to doubt your fidelity?

ITbomb: So you went to the beautiful lady house because of akara, yea, you did it with good intentions but the evidence here are just too obvious.

Just stop shouting and trying to defend yourself, it only make it worse.
If you have quiet time in your family schedule, take that opportunity, hold her hands and softly reassure her that you would never dishonour your marriage vows or do anything to hurt her feelings.

A mild answer heals more than angry rebuttals

mencade5: s

krall: no food for us today? @OP. Connect me to both your wife and your womanfriend, let me counsel them. how can u be even be having womanfriends when ur married?

jnrbayano: It's very obvious that your wife loves you so so much and that's why her jealousy tipped her balance.

All you need do is to distance yourself from that your colleague.

Now focus on your wife, try and rechannel all that love towards trusting you more. To achieve this, you need to find ample time to talk with her, reassure her, pet her, buy her lots of stuffs you know she likes, crack jokes with her and all will return back to normal.

Use text messages on her time and time again whenever you are away from her (say you went to work)

..and make sure you tuck the Akara and Bread issue in at least for now

krall: no food for us today? @OP. Connect me to both your wife and your womanfriend, let me counsel them. how can u be even be having womanfriends when ur married?

disturbedhubby: My thread title is not a joke even it seems funny. Right now she is threatening with divorce because of this issue.

The genesis of this matter started 2 years ago when I got a new job. At this new place I met a female colleague that became good friends with. Truly we admired each other but I am married and I made it plain to her that I love my wife and have no interest in an affair. She has never tried to seduce me either. My wife knew about my closeness to this lady and has spoken to her on phone several times and in fact they have meant twice. A few weeks ago my wife and I started buying akara and bread on the way to work. We'll eat in the car as we go to work and then the rest I take to my office. My colleagues and I join to eat it and because it is quite nice they ask me to buy for them. This my female colleague one day gave me money to buy for her which I did and brought to the office only to discover she wasn't around. I bbm'ed her and she said she was ill. I felt bad because she gave me money and I didn't want it to waste so I offered to take it to her and she said no need.

Now I hardly delete my messages because I believe I have nothing to hide neither is my phone passworded. My wife saw the chat while going through my phone and raised fire and brimstone. I couldn't believe it. Despite all my assurances and explanation she still insists that I am having an affair with my colleague.

Guys help me o! I don tire for this kind of suspicions. What more can I say to convince her?

CoachDX:
Bro, you've always been giving her reasons not to trust you. No woman would wake up one day and all of a sudden develop distrust for her man. There are more things you did with that lady that she knew even when you claim not wanting to have an affair. Finish your one-sided story ogbeni.

disturbedhubby:

I wish there are concrete evidence to convict me I would be happy to be accused. I have a feeling that she does not believe I am innocent because other people have told her that no man can be free of sexual escapades despite all evidence to my innocence.

disturbedhubby:

I don't understand I should not be friendly to my female colleagues?

disturbedhubby:

Thanks I appreciate.

disturbedhubby:

I wish there are concrete evidence to convict me I would be happy to be accused. I have a feeling that she does not believe I am innocent because other people have told her that no man can be free of sexual escapades despite all evidence to my innocence.

Lily4star: She doesn't mean the divorce thing, she said it outa anger and jealousy, no woman wants any other woman too close to her man. She loves you, you could set a date for just the two of you, probably leave the house or a weekend outside, then assure and tell her things she really needs to hear and also keep your distance since she doesn't like it. You ll feel threatened too if another man becomes too close to your wife.

chinziaski: Sincerely, when I read the topic of the thread I was amused and ignored it. On a second thought, I said it might be a funny one but to see this, is really heartbreaking. Bro, we tend to conclude on our suspicions when tipped alittle and you definitely tipped your wife. What you have to do now is sit your wife and reassure her that she's the only one in your world and your colleague is a mere colleague. Explain the conversation she saw in your bbm. But one thing is, its like your conversation with your colleague on bbm was overtly friendly. That is why she's feeling uncomfortable.

CoachDX:
Oh, you just made yourself a suspect there. Even if that's your belief, you'd keep it to yourself. Women, mostly married ones can be one routed. . .only few re-considers your words to see the sincerity and innocence in it. On your part, stop whatever makes her doubt you. . .why wanting to take bread and akara to another lady's house in the first place? Ogbeni, don't disturb madam's mind again and let your ways be pure before her, with time trust could build up again. Be good!

disturbedhubby:

I feel like posting the chat logs just so that everyone can judge how bad or good I am but without dates and time you might not understand.

My closeness to this lady in question is not remarkable I only used the word closeness because we jist like old pals. I don't go to her house with any frequency, she has never come to mine. Our jist outside of office is limited to why didn't you come to work or comments on bbm dp/status.

My wife has flocks of male colleagues that dance around her and it doesn't occur to me that there is office romance going on there. The idea to me is just absurd. She has travelled with them for official assignment, I have never gone with my colleague.

But thanks for your advice, I appreciate it.

krall: be friends with them but dont befriend them. they are dangerous.

disturbedhubby:

Which exactly is my stand. If I wan toast babe na with bread and akara I go use?

disturbedhubby:

I have done this several times it is now looking like I am hiding something. If I was, my phone will be passworded. Thanks though.

sexylogan:

I don't think she really wants a divorce. She's just hurt and angry. She may have been let down in the past and may see this as the past trying to repeat itself. I'm not sure what else you should do. Why not try a 3rd party? Someone she respects and will listen to.

jnrbayano:

You are a good man. You will have her back in no time