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White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by chriscox: 2:12pm On Oct 12, 2008
Hi everyone,

I really feel blessed to have found this forum. My story is that I am a young white British Male in my mid 20's. I met my Nigerian wife (also young) here in the UK whilst she was studying her masters. We fell in love and got married. The thing is, even though she married me, she is very much Nigerian and loves being in Nigeria so much. She had made it clear from the beginning that she will not settle to live in the UK. We are currently based in the UK but now looking to relocate to Nije. We have no kids.


My wife and i are however both wondering what it would be like re-locating. My wife grew up in Nigeria but has never had to live there whilst being married to a white man if you catch my drift. We are worried about how people will perceive and receive us. Especially my wife who feels that she will be judged by her fellow Nigerians for marrying a white man. What' mids so funny is that we dont fit any of the Nigerian stereotypes for couples like us. My wife comes from a wealthy family and didnt get with me for money or anything like that. She also didnt marry me for a UK passport. She is very patriotic and married me for love. According to my wife, a middle class white male getting together with an African woman is a good representation of equality across racial lines. She is miserable here in the UK and absolutely hates it. So regardless of the dangers, we have to move ! Any thoughts on this?

Secondly, I am an IT software engineer. I'm not sure how lucrative my work field would be over there. Is it possible to get a job in this field as a young expatriate with 2 years experience? Does anyone know of any foreign IT companies in Abuja? Thirdly, I hear that the Nigerian government doesnt give passports to Male foreigners on the basis of marriage no matter what?


I have come on nairaland to seek advise as my wife herself doesnt know the answer to some of these questions. Please i need some constructive advise. As you can see our case is on the rare side. Its usually the other way round! (Nigerian man/White woman). I have seen some good advise on here and hope to get some.

Personally, I have been to Nigeria a few times, whilst arranging our traditional marriage and love the country. I like the people's warmth and the land despite all the negetive rubbish that's being circulated about nije, especially by the British media! I found it devastating to see that all the things we hear about Nigeria in the Uk are not necessarily true! I am not naive, yes, there are negetives but to me these are born as a result of hardships which were induced by the West in the first place. Dont get me wrong, I am a proud British Man but also all for Nigeria and feel i can join the new generation youth there to help others and bring about a positive difference. (Not that the youth there are not trying to do so already : pls dont get me wrong). I just feel that especially in terms of using my UK IT links to partner with fellow ambitious Nigerians, i could promote something lucrative in this sector,

I feel that this blog could help alot of couples in our situation as there arent many post for White male/Nigerian female marriages on Naira land. (Nija brothers, much respect to you and I sincerely hope this isnt insulting to you in anyway. I am on your side o! I love your women and just had to take one for myself. And dont worry, i am taking good care of your sister, afterall, i paid dowry at the airport before flying her out of the country after we got married).

Any advice on our transition to Nigeria would be most helpful.

Thanks.

Chris xx
Re: White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by richo(m): 2:30pm On Oct 12, 2008
u beta stay in UK till u get a well paid job in naija! you can inquire from banks and telecomms cus other sectors dnt really employ IT experts.don't expect life to be as easy as britico for naija oh!!
Re: White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by Areaboy2(m): 2:37pm On Oct 12, 2008
there's so much wrong with our mindset and culture here in naija that needs a second look,

rule of thumb here is, black marry white = "done for money or foreign passport" and anyone doing it is guilty as charged,

sad as it is, it's true in some cases. but the average nigerian will never notice the difference, you just have to manage here and see how things turn out,

as per good IT company here, why not start up one yourself and u'll be doing good before too long.

place to stay =  abuja or calabar, everywhere else is shit, undecided

nuff said tongue tongue


oh and one more thing, do like i'm planning to do, neither of you stay in your home country, migrate somewhere else, not naija, not UK, that way both of you make the sacrifice, tongue

comprende??
Re: White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by netotse(m): 3:40pm On Oct 12, 2008
u need to do a hell of a lot of research before coming here or else u will carry last,
all the best in you plans sha!
Re: White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by chriscox: 3:56pm On Oct 12, 2008
Thank you for your reponses so far. Greatly appreciated.
Re: White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by monkeyleg: 4:18pm On Oct 12, 2008
Hi Chris,

I know you might feel that your situation different, but believe me, there are couples like you living and enjoying Nigeria. However, just like in the UK, certain parts of the country are a lot more elighthened that others (Lagos, Abuja, Port-Harcourt), to name but a few. So from start you guys got to choose well.

It is good to know that you are both somehow well off, so you may not struggle as other, and I am sure her family will do all they can to make you guys settle quickly, just be open minded (which I can tell you are), and have tons of patience, cos it can be very frustrating at times. In my opinion Lagos would probably suit you guys more, cos there is the large expatriate community there , which I am sure you will need from time to time, and besides that is wehere all the bigs companies are.

Now work, I would advice you start looking from the UK. There are a lot of big multi-national companies in Nigeria (Shell, Schlumberger, Total, Chevron, Microsoft, Oracle), to name a few, and I am aware loads are looking to move into Nigeria as well. So I will advice you do your research well in the UK, before you leave. I know these big companies do a lot of global recruitment drives, so look out. You can also look at SA companies that are setting up shop in Nigeria. Dimension Data is one of them. You also have the big consultancy firms (Accenture, etc), So the options are there, but you have to look well. I think the Times or Observer advertise jobs in Nigeria, so that might be a good place to start.

I hope this encourages you, that it is possible, but you have to plan well.

1 Like

Re: White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by fustina: 10:30pm On Oct 12, 2008
chris, babez, if u get a great job in lagos or abuja, i advise u to relocate immediately. my situation is exactly like urs and i am enjoying myself, the only problem is that it took me a month to get use to the life style but now, it is awesome.
i know ur problem is racial discrimination and/or sterotyping, there is nothing like that over here. instead, wherever u go, u get "first class treatment" because nigerians love tourist. its unlike ours in every aspect. i suggest u live and work in abuja, its more accomodating, relaxing and a lot of freedom(as long as ur wife's family is wealthy or u are wealthy enuff, u wuld luv yt),
Re: White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by SamMilla1(m): 11:19pm On Oct 12, 2008
I have traveled and actually lived in many European countries
and one thing i have learnt is that most of the negative things people say about those places are simply not true.

I commend you on your decision to relocate which i believe doesnt come quiet often in cases like yours.
A lot of people will tell you the disadvantages of relocating to Nigeria and leave out the advantages.
I am a Nigerian and i know we all love visitors.
We are ranked the happiest country in the world
And that is for a reason.
Places like Abuja and Lagos, Calabar or even Enugu are very quiet to live.
Plus there are already thousands of White guys living freely there.
Lagos will be my best pick since you white guys likes visiting beaches and so on.
I took a German friend of mine home and we visited many places even my Village in Enugu.
Now i live in Holland and he calls me all the time to ask me when we will go to Nigeria again.
I will like to point out that his mother objected to the travel.
It was his father who encouraged him to take the journey.
I am suprised that Europeans who colonised us for many many years are now afraid to visit us.


Concerning Job,
There are very lucrative IT jobs every where in Lagos and Abujah.
Nigeria is the biggest computer and internet user in whole of Africa.
Understandably we have the biggest population.
So that puts you in a position to become very rich if you eventually open your own firm
Which will cost less than half of what it will cost in London.
Do some online search. With your qualifications, you will get a job easily.
And believe me , people will respect you where you work more than the Other Nigerian workers.
Plus my favourite : ADVENTURE.
The best way to know things better is to actually see them and touch them.
Sometime in the future , you will live to be envied by all your mates.
It is the same with us Nigerians. Travel and live in Another country and your mates will respect and envy you.
Even those who are actually richer than you.
Good luck Mr Chris and love your wife more.
Re: White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by Cipriani(m): 11:40pm On Oct 12, 2008
@chriscox,fustina
If you like our girls and want to relocate, may I be introduced to any beautiful woman o'er there by you guys and then I will relocate to the house you might have moved out from. grin grin grin

I love beautiful white ladies, so pleaseee make it happen for me. cool cool cool cool cool cool
You can move in to my own apartment for a start, wink wink wink

Or let me just say let us switch sides, cool cool
Re: White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by Nobody: 12:13am On Oct 13, 2008
Cipriani:

I love beautiful white ladies, so pleaseee make it happen for me. cool cool cool cool cool cool
No wonder!
Re: White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by Cipriani(m): 12:17am On Oct 13, 2008
Ruby_Pearl:

No wonder!

No wonder wetin?
You dey follow around for NL.

Se be I tell you say I like you and you no reply, now you dey say no wonder angry angry angry

no wonder ko, no wonder ni grin grin grin

You naija girls to get shakara and na wetin white girls no get be dat tongue tongue tongue
Re: White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by Nobody: 12:18am On Oct 13, 2008
No wonder you dey bash naija women. I see you got fetish for white women. koda o koda, bo se nbu wa.
Re: White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by plusQueen: 12:25am On Oct 13, 2008
Is the wife also Igbo?
that seems to be the tribe of the naija counterparts of these so called associations.
Re: White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by Cipriani(m): 12:30am On Oct 13, 2008
Ruby_Pearl:

No wonder you dey bash naija women. I see you got fetish for white women. koda o koda, bo se nbu wa.

if you no say make i no dey yab naija girls, den tell me wetin dey your mind undecided undecided undecided undecided undecided

Se you want me or not make i know, tell me now before Chris help me find white woman because if I don go Uk Ino dey come back again  grin grin grin grin

I don toast naija babe before for 6months and she eventually tell me big NO.
Once beaten twice shy, thrice na cain I go chop from my papa grin grin grin grin
Re: White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by Nobody: 12:33am On Oct 13, 2008
Cipriani:

I don toast naija babe before for 6months and she eventually tell me big NO.
Once beaten twice shy, thrice na cain I go chop from my papa grin grin grin grin
For six months? You no get work tongue
At the end of the first month, you should have let her know that you dnt play games.
but then, naija men are kinda slow in that dept. tongue
So how much did you spend on her?
Re: White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by Cipriani(m): 12:35am On Oct 13, 2008
@ruby pearl
my sugabanana, sweet potato, drinkable water melon, fried plantain

I love you tori torun, gbogbo ara ni mo fi gbadun eee!!! kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss

Decide now before Chris call my number cool cool cool
Re: White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by Nobody: 12:37am On Oct 13, 2008
I just hope my husband and kids dnt see this

Answer my question jor, on my previous post
Re: White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by Cipriani(m): 12:41am On Oct 13, 2008
@ruby pearl
I spend fire on this babe, all my allowy just dey go on top her head. I even make her customized card on her birthday because I am into arts and very creative. She collect everything plus my time sef. embarassed embarassed embarassed embarassed

I suffer gan from dis girl, all because say she know I love am pieces. angry angry angry angry

Since then I have not been able to fall in love UNTIL NOW THAt I FInD YoU kiss kiss kiss kiss
Re: White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by Nobody: 12:46am On Oct 13, 2008
Cipriani:

@ruby pearl
I spend fire on this babe, all my allowy just dey go on top her head. I even make her customized card on her birthday because I am into arts and very creative. She collect everything plus my time sef. embarassed embarassed embarassed embarassed

I suffer gan from this girl, all because say she know I love am pieces. angry angry angry angry

Since then I have not been able to fall in love UNTIL NOW THAt I FInD YoU kiss kiss kiss kiss
If this is the way you fall in love, lol, no wonder she ripped you off tongue

Ok, just say I believe your story, eh. pkele smiley

You deserved this song wink
Leona Lewis - Better In Time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Skc5bnKj-50&feature=related
Re: White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by Cipriani(m): 12:53am On Oct 13, 2008
Ruby_Pearl:

I just hope my husband and kids dnt see this

Answer my question jor, on my previous post
So you get husband and how many pikin? shocked shocked shocked

Kai, why you come dey rush your self. shaking head,!!!
It is a pity you mari so early embarassed embarassed cry cry cry

I guess na me go call Chris now, I no go wait for Chris to call me embarassed embarassed embarassed

You naija girls, sori women are deceitful, una go hear wen from me. WATCHOUT angry angry angry
Re: White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by Nobody: 12:55am On Oct 13, 2008
Cipriani:

So you get husband and how many pikin? shocked shocked shocked

Kai, why you come dey rush your self. shaking head,!!!
It is a pity you mari so early embarassed embarassed cry cry cry

I guess na me go call Chris now, I no go wait for Chris to call me embarassed embarassed embarassed

You naija girls, sori women are deceitful, una go hear when from me. WATCHOUT angry angry angry

lmao!
rush myself ke? Do you know am in my early 30s smiley

rotfl, you sure chris will pick up? you berra run after him. grin grin

how are we deceitful?
Re: White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by bigboyslim(m): 12:57am On Oct 13, 2008
Rubyyyyyyyyyyyy, how now. long time. how's it going? anything for the boys?
Re: White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by Nobody: 1:00am On Oct 13, 2008
eya, waz up, bro.
hope your HB is alright now smiley
pkele, I saw your previous post.
Re: White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by bigboyslim(m): 1:02am On Oct 13, 2008
Ruby_Pearl:

eya, waz up, bro.
hope your HB is alright now smiley
pkele, I saw your previous post.

LOL. omg. u never forget. but thanks for your concern anyways. plans are still in the pipeline but i'd rather not talk about it.
Re: White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by Cipriani(m): 1:04am On Oct 13, 2008
Ruby_Pearl:

lmao!
rush myself ke? Do you know am in my early 30s smiley

rotfl, you sure chris will pick up? you berra run after him. grin grin

how are we deceitful?

Early 30s ke, why you come post that kain pic for you profile, you for put the one wey you dey breastfeed your pikin grin grin grin grin

Na the reason why I say Naija women dey deceitful.

Una dey age fast and yet una go wan deceive men one way or the other. tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue

Gring Gring Gring Gring, na my ringtone be that , Chris don dey hala me, cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy
Re: White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by davidif: 1:13am On Oct 13, 2008
@poster
oga chriscox, why would you want to leave the UK and come to this useless joke of a country. Please, unless you have to don't come to naija but if you do eventually decide to come, then go to Calabar and Abuja and NOT lagos or port harcourt abeg.
Re: White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by Nobody: 1:14am On Oct 13, 2008
Cipriani:

Early 30s ke, why you come post that kain pic for you profile, you for put the one wey you dey breastfeed your pikin grin grin grin grin

Na the reason why I say Naija women dey deceitful.

Una dey age fast and yet una go wan deceive men one way or the other. tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue

Gring Gring Gring Gring, na my ringtone be that , Chris don dey hala me, cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy
rotflmao!!
Dude, you're funny.
breastfeeding ko breastslapping ni grin grin

Am not deceiving anybody o.
I just dey post and go like no man's bizness.

wetin Chris say? Did he answer?

bigboyslim:

LOL. omg. u never forget. but thanks for your concern anyways. plans are still in the pipeline but i'D rather not talk about it.
Eya, hope everything goes aiight.
No, I dnt forget things easily. That's the problem I have,
Forgive but never forgets sad
Re: White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by Cipriani(m): 1:30am On Oct 13, 2008
Ruby_Pearl:

rotflmao!!
Dude, you're funny.
breastfeeding ko breastslapping ni grin grin

Am not deceiving anybody o.
I just dey post and go like no man's bizness.

wetin Chris say? Did he answer?

Wonders will neva end in this world. Na you be the 1st girl wey go tell me say she dey breastslap her own pikin grin grin grin

Kai!!#@ Your pikin don suffer sad sad sad, which kain mama you be sef, undecided undecidedso if to say I mari you na so you go dey breastslap my children, na dat same breast I go use breastbeat and breastpanel your body. grin grin grin grin grin
Re: White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by Nobody: 1:34am On Oct 13, 2008
rotflmao!!
funny dude!

I don marry already, so stop dreaming cool cool cool

Even if them breastslap you, you go still go smile
Re: White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by Cipriani(m): 1:43am On Oct 13, 2008
Ruby_Pearl:

rotflmao!!
funny dude!

I don marry already, so stop dreaming cool cool cool

Even if them breastslap you, you go still go smile

If you don mari, then you don Bleep me up, sad sadto convince me post the picture of you wedding on your profile and remove that one wey you wear hood like yankee girl wey neva know man. grin grin grin grin

Chris don dey call him former white school mates to confirm which one like me wink wink wink
I go show you peppe angry angry angry
Re: White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by Nobody: 1:46am On Oct 13, 2008
Cipriani:

If you don mari, then you don mess me up, sad sadto convince me post the picture of you wedding on your profile and remove that one wey you wear hood like yankee girl wey never know man. grin grin grin grin
e serious so?
Why would I want to post my wedding pixs? shocked shocked shocked
privacy!!!!
I be yankee girl, you dnt know? lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

Cipriani:


Chris don dey call him former white school mates to confirm which one like me wink wink wink
I go show you peppe angry angry angry
You go wait tire!
Ask other NL members wey dey wait for yankee wife grin grin
Just make sure chris no give you a naija woman with blond wig grin grin grin
Re: White British Man Married To Nigerian Woman: Looking To Live In Nigeria by Cipriani(m): 1:59am On Oct 13, 2008
Ruby_Pearl:

e serious so?
Why would I want to post my wedding pixs? shocked shocked shocked
privacy!!!!
I be yankee girl, you dnt know? lipsrsealed lipsrsealed
You go wait tire!
Ask other NL members wey dey wait for yankee wife grin grin
Just make sure chris no give you a naija woman with blond wig grin grin grin

Chris don tell me say He no go Bleep up? cheesy cheesy cheesy Anyone wey him bring go go for dna testing to confirm say na whity. undecided undecided undecided

You fit send one pics to my box for confirmation

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