Does your mental soundtrack go anything like this?
‘’I don’t want to go out tonight, but Mike will think I’m boring if I stay in.’’
‘’I can’t wear these same shoes I wore last week again – people will think there’s something wrong with me.’’
‘’I’m over-committed already, but how can I say no to John? He’ll think I don’t like him.’’
‘’I’d be really refreshed by taking a day off just to do what I like … but my colleagues will think I’m just being lazy.’’

When we were kids, we didn’t have many things to worry about. We saw adulthood as a place of amazing freedom: when you’re an adult, you can do the things you like and go to places you like. Yeah, so much freedom
But somehow, by the time we reach adulthood, this world of vast possibilities has narrowed. We go to tertiary institution, because that’s what everyone else is doing. Then we look for a sensible, entry-level job, because that’s what everyone else is doing. Pretty soon, we think about getting a house, getting a better car, working towards a promotion … because that’s what everyone else is doing.

What Went Wrong?
Life isn’t supposed to be a dull, day-in-day-out routine where work is bearable and evenings are spent going through the motions: eating dinner, watching television, surfing the net … waiting for it to be time to go to bed, and get up, and repeat it all over again. But unfortunately, that pretty much describes the lives of many people.
Most times we try to show the world we are flawless in hopes that we will be liked and accepted by everyone. In some ways, this is a natural thing: as humans, we’re social creatures, and it’s hard to risk being derided or excluded by our community. But we can’t please everyone and we shouldn’t try. The beauty of us lies in our vulnerability, our complex emotions, and our authentic imperfections. When we embrace who we are and decide to be authentic, instead of who we think others want us to be, we open ourselves up to real relationships, real happiness, and real success.

There is no need to put on a mask. There is no need to pretend to be someone you’re not. Below are some reasons why you should stop trying to prove yourself to everyone.
I have tried to make a list from articles by persons who have discovered and are practicing this truth. I do hope you will find them useful on your quest for the freedom you seek. Please don't fall asleep on me yet! Ok, here we go...

1. Life isn’t a race; you have nothing to prove.
Everyone wants to get to the top of the mountain first and shout, “Look at me! Look at me!” But the truth is, all your happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing, not while you’re sitting at the top. Enjoy the journey by paying attention to each step. Don’t rush through your life and miss it. Forget where everyone else is in relation to you. This isn’t a race. You get there a little at a time, not all at once.
Let go of the foolish need to prove yourself to everyone else, and you’ll free yourself to accomplish what matters most to you. Sometimes you have to remind yourself that you don’t have to always be and do what everyone else is being and doing.

2. Most people are NOT thinking about you anyway.
Forget what everyone else thinks of you; chances are, they aren’t thinking about you anyway. Everyone is pretty much preoccupied with himself. If you feel like they always are, understand that this perception of them watching you and critiquing your every move is a complete figment of your imagination. It’s your own inner fears and insecurities that are creating this illusion. It’s you judging yourself that’s the problem.

3. The people worth impressing just want you to be yourself.
In the long run, it’s better to be loathed for who you are than loved for who you are not. In fact, the only relationships that work well in the long run are the ones that make you a better person without changing you into someone other than yourself, and without preventing you from outgrowing the person you used to be.
Ignore the comparisons and expectations knocking at your door. The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday. Prove yourself to yourself, not others. The RIGHT people for you will love you for doing so, and they will appreciate all the things about you that the WRONG people are intimidated by. Bottom line: Don’t change so people will like you; be patient, keep being your amazing self, and pretty soon the RIGHT people will love the REAL you.

4. People’s Expectations May Be Based On A Narrow, Inaccurate View Of You
People make snap judgments in life: they might meet you briefly, and proceed to offer all sorts of advice based on an inaccurate assessment of who you are.
Families often fail to recognize how you’ve changed and grown over the years. They also tend to label you – and it’s easy to end up conforming to these labels because you believe them. They say “Oh, Tunde’s always been the lazy one” or “Chidimma never does anything right” or “Ali never could focus on anything.”
It is your responsibility, and yours alone, to recognize that regardless of what has happened up to this point in your life, you are capable of making choices to change your situation, or to change the way you think about it. Don’t let the opinions of others interfere with this prevailing reality. What you’re capable of achieving is not a function of what other people think is possible for you. What you’re capable of achieving depends entirely on what you choose to do with your time and energy. So stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. Just keep living your truth. The only people that will fault you for doing so are those who want you to live a lie.
Your parents or your friends might have pigeonholed you – but you know there’s more to you than what they see. Even if you do have plenty of habits and characteristics that you’d like to change, you have the ability to do that.

5. Your Values/Priorities Could Be Wildly Different From Theirs
This is one of the big problems with trying to meet other people’s expectations: they might have a completely different agenda to yours. You need to get clear about your own values and priorities: then you can figure out what you want to refocus your life around.
Walk your path confidently and don’t expect anyone else to understand your journey, especially if they have not been exactly where you are going. You have to take the steps that are right for you; no one else walks in your shoes.

6. Society’s materialistic measurement of worth is worthless.
No matter where life takes you, big cities or small towns, you will inevitably come across others who think they know what’s best for you – people who think they’re better than you – people who think happiness, success and beauty mean the same things to everyone.
They’ll try to measure your worth based on what you have, instead of who you are. But you know better than that – material things don’t matter. Don’t chase the money. Catch up to the ideas and activities that make you come alive. Go for the things of greater value – the things money can’t buy. What matters is having strength of character, an honest heart, and a sense of self-worth. If you’re lucky enough to have any of these things, never sell them. Never sell yourself short.

7. It’s Ok to fail Sometimes
If you try too hard to impress everyone else with your “perfection,” you will stunt your growth. You will spend all your time looking a certain way, instead of living a certain way. It’s impossible to live without failing sometimes, unless you live so cautiously that you aren’t really living at all – you’re merely existing. If you’re too afraid of failing in front of others, you can’t possibly do what needs to be done to be successful in your own eyes. You have to remember that it doesn’t matter how many times you fail or how messy your journey is, so long as you do not stop taking small steps forward.

8. You cannot Win everyone’s approval.
When you run into someone who discredits you, disrespects you and treats you poorly for no apparent reason at all, don’t consume yourself with trying to change them or win their approval. Don’t ever worry about the haters. Don’t let them get to you. They’re just upset because the truth you know contradicts the lies they live. Period.

Final words: Just know that You are GOOD enough, SMART enough, FINE enough, and STRONG enough. You don’t need other people to validate you; you are already VALUABLE.


Can you relate to this piece?
Feel free to leave a comment


Credits to Marc Chernoff and Aliventures.com for some excerpts used in this post.

Nice write up but why then did you end it with a question? That's an essay you want me to write o..How many words.?..If you are a lecturer, then it's one lecture, one assignment. Am out#

Nothing wrong with proving yourself. . .
To the right people only.
NOT TO RIFF-RAFFS wey nor even fit to clean your shoes . . . .on or off the cyber airways!

Very nice op, would be back to read it word for word, thanks.

Everybody print this and give them to your friends and enemies....make them free you joor

OK

I love this post especially for those that are too proud.

Nice piece Op

Nice one @op even doe I dnt read it....will come back leta gat to catch some sleep

Just because everyone is commenting doest mean i will comment

Nice write up bt there re places wher u hav 2 prove urself n times u need pple's judgement to help u grow

nice piece. Why be a photocopy When you can be original?

Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.

Don't let anyone gain authority over your decisions and actions. Live your life the way you think its best. Boost your life with positive thoughts and mindset. Self esteem is important. You cannot be Okoro and Orji at thesame time. Live responsibly.

Amazing piece. Good work op. Life isn't about race or pleasing anyone!

If you think of what others are saying,you will die off pretty soon.Not how far matters ,but how well.
*Live the life you love,Love the life you live*
Impressive write up to begin a fresh day.

True talk.....

lf l try proving myself to everybody, l will end up being a nobody!

Good. Just be open to suggestions but don't let anybody's word be final. Think for yourself too.

Mtchew! Orisirisi

Um impressed,dis is wat we nid in fp.

We don hear.




Nkechi....... Come over pls

Timeless piece. This is one of the best expositions i've read in recent times on Nairaland. Thumbs up, OP.

U were born Original, don't die a photocopy! Be real and real people will love u more just the way u are!
Just as the unwanted pregnancy, there are unwanted people in your life you should strive to abort, and such abortion is not a sin nor harm, but the eradication of a destructive foetus. U got to prove urself to those that worth it n not some blockheads!!!!


Nice post @OP

If you learn to accept the past instead of wishing you could change it, it will no longer control you. You may also find that the person you want to prove yourself worthy to is you.

Nice one

Nice article. Realistic and quite motivating

Just 'cos some people dn't respect themselves doesn't mean they dn't deserve respect! It's called humanity! By the way, exhilarating piece there...

Kanwulia: Nothing wrong with proving yourself. . .
To the right people only.
NOT TO RIFF-RAFFS wey nor even fit to clean your shoes . . . .on or off the cyber airways!

Nice but not fully true.
Truth is;
Life is a race & great men don't live for themselves but for others.

Nice piece of info

Well said OP.

No one is righteous. Not even one.