I was asked this question, is it the woman's place to say good morning to her husband daily? can the man wake up too and say good morning first to the wife?
Left for me i would have told her it does not matter who says good morning first, but she said her husband feels it is the ''place'' of the woman to say good morning first to her husband. how true is that statement?
Thanks for your contribution.

nigerian men have this issue with respect and are yet to realize respect is earned.

personally, i always say "i love you" to my wife first thing in the morning and she likewise. it just depends on who's awake first

This complexity issue is a big prob in nigeria culture...Most Nigerians believe they are entitled to been respected like its their right to be respected

It doesn't really matters whom is the first to greet whom. In marriage, there are other more important issues to deal with rather than attaching importance to petty issues like greeting. If I and my husband woke up in the morning we kisses and dive into intimate romantic moments. Who cares about greetings?

myads890: nigerian men have this issue with respect and are yet to realize respect is earned.

Pls explain how respect is earned and who should respect who first and why.

A respectful wife will greet her husband first. It won't even be a matter for argument.
A man who actively greets his wife first thing in the morning is a pvssy.

5minsmadness:
Pls explain how respect is earned and who should respect who first and why.

Its a marriage not a competition. Respect should be mutual. If you want respect, give it. Simple.

myads890:

Its a marriage not a competition. Respect should be mutual. If you want respect, give it. Simple.

So who gives the respect first? Someone has to give it first right? Who starts?

First off, in Nigeria we're thought to greet our elders irrespective of gender so that should take care of that.

In marriage tho, any1 can say it first.

How is this even an issue for Christ sake?

A woman can offer pleasantries (whichever type she prefers) to her husband. It signifies respect for the man she married.
There is also the possibility of the husband first offering his as well (depending on the dynamics of the marriage).

5minsmadness:
So who gives the respect first? Someone has to give it first right? Who starts?

Whoever is more mature. Usually in an African setting a woman should while in a western setting the man shows respect first. But we're talking about a marriage here and if think about it, irrespective of culture men tend to show respect to the women during the "wooing" period. So, I'd say men show respect first in most cases even if we choose to think otherwise.

Who ever sees who first, greets first.

myads890:

Whoever is more mature. Usually in an African setting a woman should while in a western setting the man shows respect first. But we're talking about a marriage here [size=5pt]and if think about it, irrespective of culture men tend to show respect to the women during the "wooing" period. So, I'd say men show respect first in most cases even if we choose to think otherwise.[/size]

Of course we are talking about marriage, what did you think we were talking about?

So now from what you just said, are we in an African setting or a western setting?

5minsmadness:
So who gives the respect first? Someone has to give it first right? Who starts?

He is dodging your question like a bullet. Everybody talk about mutual understanding not knowing that it has to start somewhere and by somebody.


@Op. It is morally and religiously inclined that a woman should submit to her husband and he in turn will lover her back. If your husband greets you first then good for you but you should not fight over nothing just to prove that you are exposed and learned. It is the love that exist within the marriage that should direct the couple. Nothing is wrong with a man greeting his wife first out of sheer love and adoration. Some do it but looking at some marriages like yours that lacks understanding I can't help but wonder how you and your husband will handle who should say sorry first and things like that when serious issue arises. Only an egocentric wife will fight over minor issues like this one. Very soon you guys will start fighting over who should wake up first and who will lead in prayer.

I can't believe an issue as minute as this is a topic for debate. Goes to show why a lot of marriages look more like prison yards or homes with two roommates. Why must one person wait for the other to greet first? While dating, was there ever anything like that? Where are all these unwritten rules coming from? What kind of foundation do you set for your marriage? Pride is the problem i see here and if care isnt taken it couuld destroy the marriage bond.

In a normal setting and relationships with people, dnt we all greet each other without one asking for it? We are talking about marriage here, where love and mutual respect are supposed to be the foundations. Why is it that points have to be proven to show superiority all the time? whether you are a husband or wife, why can't you greet regardless of who does it first? Na wa o. I fear for some marriages o. This is why marriage is meant for adults not kids. All these unwritten invisible rules make marriage look too mechanical and rigid with no genuine love, trust and other essential ingredients/spice that make it enjoyable. They are gonna look like something else that God never intended it to be.

myads890:

Its a marriage not a competition. Respect should be mutual. If you want respect, give it. Simple.

This is a politically correct statement...kudos!

But the question is...between a husband and his wife, who should first give respect to the other before 'mutuality' comes into play?

Sophyrocks:

I can't believe an issue as minute as this is a topic for debate. Goes to show why a lot of marriages look more like prison yards or homes with two roommates. Why must one person wait for the other to greet first? While dating, was there ever anything like that? Where are all these unwritten rules coming from? What kind of foundation do you set for your marriage? Pride is the problem i see here and if care isnt taken it couuld destroy the marriage bond.

In a normal setting and relationships with people, dnt we all greet each other without one asking for it? We are talking about marriage here, where love and mutual respect are supposed to be the foundations. Why is it that points have to be proven to show superiority all the time? whether you are a husband or wife, why can't you greet regardless of who does it first? Na wa o. I fear for some marriages o. This is why marriage is meant for adults not kids. All these unwritten invisible rules make marriage look too mechanical and rigid with no genuine love, trust and other essential ingredients/spice that make it enjoyable. They are gonna look like something else that God never intended it to be.

...My dear why bother yourself?...
..you should not take some of the things single guys here say seriously you know..they sure do not know jack about marriage so excuse their childish ignorance.

...check the first poster who is a married man and compare what he posted with that of singles..the difference is clear.

Ngokafor:



...My dear why bother yourself?...
..you should not take some of the things single guys here say seriously you know..they sure do not know jack about marriage so excuse their childish ignorance.

...check the first poster who is a married man and compare what he posted with that of singles..the difference is clear.

You are very right dear. Im not meant to be surprised at some responses here. This is Nairaland afterall. The responses from the married will differ from the singles. Clearly, a lot of people do not know what marriage is. SMH.

Some are busy quoting that women are to give respect first since they are to submit. I wonder if they dnt read in the bible where it says that husbands should Honor their wives. That word 'Honor' is self explanatory. This shows that mutual respect is important. Maybe they think women do not need respect at all. Thank God the bible is never partial. Seriously, i dnt know where all these unwritten rules are coming from.

Tomorrow another poster will come and ask whose duty it is to initiate intimacy first in marriage, mtcheeewwww!
Greeting ko, respect ni!
Pls watever works in your marriage do it.
Its a marriage, two lovely friends with a heart of love, not a father-daughter or teacher-student relationship.
My 1cent.
Hubby jst got home, am off, make I go greet am

Sophyrocks:

You are very right dear. Im not meant to be surprised at some responses here. This is Nairaland afterall. The responses from the married will differ from the singles. Clearly, a lot of people do not know what marriage is. SMH.

Some are busy quoting that women are to give respect first since they are to submit. I wonder if they dnt read in the bible where it says that husbands should Honor their wives. That word 'Honor' is self explanatory. This shows that mutual respect is important. Maybe they think women do not need respect at all. Thank God the bible is never partial. Seriously, i dnt know where all these unwritten rules are coming from.

....Their comments is what i normally term 'recharge card cries'...no substance nor head or tail whats-so-ever.
..just a whole load of crap.

Which kind question be this? Is it a military marriage? For me can't remember when last I told my husband Good morning sef , bc I think he wakes earlier - he would just give me a peck (goodmorning) and I will smile, without even opening my eyes (that's my reply). Marriage aint this serious mbok, u meant to freestyle in it, it's not about some laid down rules anywhere. Sometimes my husband feels like he is my bf, d only difference is there is a ring now and ihe anyi n'aru dizi legit ...lol.

Ngokafor:




....Their comments is what i normally term 'recharge card cries'...no substance nor head or tail whats-so-ever.
..just a whole load of crap.

Kachisbarbie: Which kind question be this? Is it a military marriage? For me can't remember when last I told my husband Good morning sef , bc I think he wakes earlier - he would just give me a peck (goodmorning) and I will smile, without even opening my eyes (that's my reply). Marriage aint this serious mbok, u meant to freestyle in it, it's not about some laid down rules anywhere. Sometimes my husband feels like he is my bf, d only difference is there is a ring now and ihe anyi n'aru dizi legit ...lol.

Chai!! My sister, too many rules and regulations for marriage. That is how people manufacture problems from where there is none. You see in some homes, once a man comes back from work everybody for house go pick race enter room with speed fiaaam! the whole atmosphere for house go change sharp sharp. what do you expect when the man has turned his home to military cantonement. If he is not at home, the house will be calm and peaceful. All these unwritten rules make some singles scared of getting married. Na wa o. Life is sweet if only we dnt take it too seriously.

crackhaus:
This is a politically correct statement...kudos!

But the question is...between a husband and his wife, who should first give respect to the other before 'mutuality' comes into play?

I think each patner has a role to play and their role should be clearly defined from onset !!

By Norm, Manly role is different from womanly role ....

To answer your question :
I think the Husband should should first create an atmosphere of respect ( as the man of the house) and the wife should also extend mutually !!

The wife and if hubby woke up first, he can sleep back till wifey wakes up

Ngokafor:



...My dear why bother yourself?...
..you should not take some of the things single guys here say seriously you know..they sure do not know jack about marriage so excuse their childish ignorance.

...check the first poster who is a married man and compare what he posted with that of singles..the difference is clear.

Now you mentioned it, just noticed.

crackhaus:
This is a politically correct statement...kudos!

But the question is...between a husband and his wife, who should first give respect to the other before 'mutuality' comes into play?

Who approaches who for a relationship?

donroxy: I think each patner has a role to play and their role should be clearly defined from onset !!

By Norm, Manly role is different from womanly role ....

To answer your question :
I think the Husband should should first create an atmosphere of respect ( as the man of the house) and the wife should also extend mutually !!

In other words, a man who does not create an atmosphere of respect in his house should not expect his wife to respect him...right?

bukatyne:

Who approaches who for a relationship?

8 out of 10 times, the man does. 1 out of 10 times, the woman does...and 1 out of 10 times, no one does (it just happens).

Kachisbarbie: Which kind question be this? Is it a military marriage? For me can't remember when last I told my husband Good morning sef , bc I think he wakes earlier - he would just give me a peck (goodmorning) and I will smile, without even opening my eyes (that's my reply). Marriage aint this serious mbok, u meant to freestyle in it, it's not about some laid down rules anywhere. Sometimes my husband feels like he is my bf, d only difference is there is a ring now and ihe anyi n'aru dizi legit ...lol.

Nwa idigodi sharp.
Jisie nu ike n'oru.
I go soon enter legit.

bukatyne: The wife and if hubby woke up first, he can sleep back till wifey wakes up

So that the wife can always greet him first. Very immature. Game of first to greet.

crackhaus:
In other words, a man who does not create an atmosphere of respect in his house should not expect his wife to respect him...right?

Of course Yes !