It’s interesting how easily “your” can be changed to “our”.

I went to a seminar once on how to communicate better in a relationship. Here are some things I really liked.

Use “I” - not “you”
Example: You always do this!

Better: I feel frustrated when this happens.

Tips:

* One thing I really liked was to be physically connected when having a discussion. Hold hands, sit with your thighs touching or sit across from each other with your knees touching.

* Remain respectful. Even if you don’t like what the other person has done, remember that you love them.

* Try not to throw accusations at the other person. The less defensive they are the easier it will be for them to see your point of view. If they feel “attacked” they will likely come back fighting.

* Understanding each other and finding a mutually agreed upon solution is the goal, not “winning” or “being right”.


Here is a short story. What would you do in this situation?

Esther scooped up the rest of the vegetables she had been slicing and put them in the boiling pot of broth, with a smile on her face. She had been excited about this meal since last week when she saw the recipe on her favorite cooking show. Her husband, Kunle had talked about how his mother made it often, when he was growing up. It was his favorite meal. His mother had passed before she and Kunle met and Esther didn’t know how to make it.

She had called the children in about twenty minutes before, and they were playing noisily in the parlor. Esther almost laughed out loud, as she thought about the surprised look her husband would have upon arriving home from work. She went about setting the table. Then washed the pots in the sink.

Everything was ready. She turned and called out to her oldest, “David help your brother and sister wash up. Your father will be here soon.” As she was putting the final touches on the meal, she heard a car door slam outside. She stood at the entrance to the kitchen, a knowing grin on her face, as the children came running back into the parlor.

Kunle opened the front door and stepped inside, tripping over a toy as he slammed it. The youngest, Jenny, toddled forward, happily screaming, “Papa!”

He kicked the toy across the room before turning to Esther. “Why don’t you make these kids pick up their toys?” He spat at her.

He then picked up Jenny, who was crying, and turn to David. “How many times have I told you not to leave your bike on the driveway?” David cautiously moved toward the front door. “Get out there and put it where it belongs!” His father shouted. David ducked around his father and shot out the front door.

Kunle looked around the room. Turning to Esther, he said, “What have you been doing all day. This place is a mess.”

Esther took the crying baby from her husband and handed her to her brother saying, “Tobi take your sister outside and help your brother.”

To be continued…


I’ll tell you how it ends after a few of you have replied. Lol…If anyone does.

Following

Just listen more, and speak less

baby124: Just listen more, and speak less

Good advice. Thanks

Pursuing

What about the story though. Any advice?

Kunle was sacked @ his work place abi?

texanomaly:

Good advice. Thanks

The day I learned that you don't v to talk too much but listen more, my life has improved.

Esther watched the children leave. Then turned to Kunle. He looked angry and tense. She stepped in front of him and put her arms around around him. She held tight and said, "Did you have a rough day at work?"

She felt him immediately relax against her. He put his arms around her. "I have had the worst day." He replied.

The children cautiously walked into the house. Kunle gave his wife one last squeeze before saying, "I'll tell you about it later." He then reached down and swung Jenny up I to his arms. "What have you been up to today my angel?" He asked as he tickled her.

Over Jenny's laughter Esther said, Go wash up. I have a surprise for you." Kunle raised an eyebrow as he looked at his wife. She gave him a grin and a swat on the behind as she turn toward the kitchen.

Kunle chuckled to himself as he headed for the bathroom with Jenny in his arms and Tobi wrapped around his leg. He stopped in front of David, smiled and gave him a wink as he limp down the hall.

What has worked for you. How do you defuse a situation? What strategies have you used during and argument? Do you have any tips to helps us with our communication?

texanomaly: What has worked for you. How do you defuse a situation? What strategies have you used during and argument? Do you have any tips to helps us with our communication?

I have, but let me prepare for church service first, I don't want to go late

ok4















Check Out The Sweet Chick Who’s Ready To Set BBA On Fire
>> http://www./entertainment/sweet-chick-whos-ready-to-set-bba-on-fire/

thank you

[img]http://www.?aff=391[/img]
Tank u

In olamide's voice "I'm tired mehn, this story don dey long

op... You still typed To be continued after all those story...
na novel u dey sell...?

nice topic.

i tell you, for marriage or relationship to survive a trying period like ur brief but instructive story, one party must be a 'goat' nd d other a 'sheep'

My communication skill don't help other party. It kills them. "Silence"

texanomaly: What has worked for you. How do you defuse a situation? What strategies have you used during and argument? Do you have any tips to helps us with our communication?

silence

Interesting......now following

The biggest problem with communication is that we don't listen to understand, we listen to reply.

Interesting, good job

noted

*In patience voice* Ok, CONTUNIU!!!!
I dey here like dele...

#Following

Poor communication skills or the total lack therof sinks many relationships beyond recognition.

Communication has alot to it than just listening and talking. Connecting with your partner on an emotional & psychological level matters alot. Just like understanding their every mood, and knowing what to do that help them relax after particularly distressing times is important.

Nice read(especially the story, enjoyed the part of d wife alot... Such sensible lady).

Following.

Very informative.

Nice

Continue mehn.