bellong: I wonder why people are always scared when it comes to marriage.

You don't get scared when to choose a friend or acquaintance, why should marriage be a thorn in the flesh.

I am sure of a thing, for everyone that is sincere with no filthy lucre or deep seated selfish intention and very diligent in looking for the right things will not be miserable in marriage. Not downplaying the "God-factor" that is very important.

So Lady, have an open mind, destroy the fear factor in you and have a realistic expectation which shouldn't be compromised. Most times, fear of what we nurture as humans have a way of working out in one's life. An ancient man once said, "What I fear most has befallen me".

May you find the right man you seek

visasubagent: You sound so cool and level headed.
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All I can say is that life generally is difficult, unpredictable and uncertain.
It involves risk which we msut take if we want to move ahead, just that we must ensure that those risks are calculated ones.
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You can marry a seemingly angel who will show his true colours later, you can equally marry one that is genuine only for him to change later. It's all about risk taking.
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You need to go to such places you think the kind of person you are looking for can be found.
If i desire to marry a nurse, wife, I might need tto visit such schools or hospitals, or attend events meant principally for such persons. The same goes for Lawyers.
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Again, try see if your standard for men isn't unrealistic. What you watch in nollywood are vastly ethereal, utopian and unrealistic.
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Wish you your heart desires.
Cheers!

aisha2: Nothing is wrong with you. 26 is not old, better marry the right person at 40 than marry at 26 and be divorced at 40.

Stop bothering about what people will say you are the one who gets to live with your spouse not them.


Again, ensure you are also the right person for a right man.

Have standards based on strength of character and stick to them, dont listen to those who tell you to "manage".

sexyseun: Abegi.. Please find the right bobo first and complain later, or rather marry first and get scared later..
You haven't even started dating the guy you will hope to marry and you are already getting scared.
What help do you now need from us? We should help you hope for a good man abi?

1miccza: OP if I were you I'll follow aisha2's idea it sounds so mature and sensible,that's the way to go...

aisha2: Nothing is wrong with you. 26 is not old, better marry the right person at 40 than marry at 26 and be divorced at 40.

ottizz:

The flaw in Aisha2's idea is that at age 40 it will be almost impossible to get married to the "right person." The OP will just be settling. Why not be realistic now and amend your expectations rather than doing the same, if not worse, much later, when you all the tier-1 and tier-2 guys are already taken. Unless settling down with a man is not really a priority for you, which is fine, as there is nothing wrong with it.

1miccza:

Otizz Aisha2 is not really asking her to wait till 40 the idea in her comment is that the OP should be patient and make the right choice she is still young...

ottizz:

I was not talking about 40 either (hypothetical). My point is that the older the OP gets, the chances of her settling increases. At age 35, she will tolerate more flaws in a man than she would at her current age. Why set your expectations too high at an age most eligible bachelors would like to marry a woman only to reduce those expectations much later, even lower than the standard that would have gotten you a "better husband" at a younger age.

spicykev: I have dated before but sadly things couldnt work between us. I wish to settle down but starting over from the scratch with someone New is really difficult for me, my parents and people arround me think am unserious especially when it comes to choosing a partner. I am faithful, sincere, Godly and ambitious, it would only take someone that buys into my philosophy to attempt love again. I don't need a husband to pose with, I need a focused man that can blend into my life and be a part of my soul.Am so scared of loving or marrying the wrong person. Am 26 and every other aspect of my life is ok. I have some married folks who rushed into marriage and still complain about their spouse. Yes! am scared of being sad in marriage. am I too young for the choice am making? Have you ever felt like you need the right person not just anybody? please share your views.......cheers!

spicykev: Many thanks to everyone for your responses,aisha, chillisauce , 1miccza, hglmkope , ottizz, I really needed to talk to some1

ogawisdom: At 26 u shld b able to paint a clear picture of wat mr right wud b for u n u beta b realistic abt it. Mr right is individual specific, even dt palm wine tapper is anoda womans mr right

List 10 things u want in a man n any man dt makes 7 out of 10 shld b considered

Mintayo:
no man will make 7 out of the 10. Looking for a perfect or near-perfect spouse is not the key,its making ourselves perfect that matters!

spicykev: I have dated before but sadly things couldnt work between us. I wish to settle down but starting over from the scratch with someone New is really difficult for me, my parents and people arround me think am unserious especially when it comes to choosing a partner. I am faithful, sincere, Godly and ambitious, it would only take someone that buys into my philosophy to attempt love again. I don't need a husband to pose with, I need a focused man that can blend into my life and be a part of my soul. Am so scared of loving or marrying the wrong person. Am 26 and every other aspect of my life is ok. I have some married folks who rushed into marriage and still complain about their spouse. Yes! am scared of being sad in marriage. am I too young for the choice am making? Have you ever felt like you need the right person not just anybody? please share your views.......cheers!

ogawisdom:

If no one makes 7 then she shld reduce d cut off mark to 6 or 5

EfemenaXY:

You sound well-grounded and independent, yet, you buy into societal pressure?

Why torment yourself about marriage if you're that petrified of it?