i need help on this one. right from the start of my relationship with my guy, i told him i didn't want sex. he never bought the idea but he said he would try not to get carried away. we have been dating for 3months now. Just last week, we were sleeping in each other's arms and he woke up and starting touching me. i don't mind him touching but its just the sex i don't want for now.

We kissed and he got soooo truned on that he practically raped me. i was so upset cos i told him NO but he wouldn't listen. He said he was sorry and all but,

Now for like two days now, i havn't called him cos my affections for him has redused a bit thot i still love him a lot cos he is a kind and gentle guy. I just don't know waht to say to him on phone or what to do when i see him.

Right now, i just want him to leave me alone.

Need advice ASAP.

most times u girls enjoy the sex and use rape as an excuse to guilty conscience!if all u did was to smile and say tochukwu stop it then am sorry to tell u but its not rape!!

awww!!!

seemz he doznt rily lorf u,

has he tried contactin u since then? if not, hez gotten what he wanted. . . .  

cheerylips:

we were sleeping in each other's arms and he woke up and starting touching me. i don't mind him touching but its just the sex i don't want for now.

We kissed and he got soooo truned on that he practically raped me.

didnt u resist?

u shuld hv punched/kicked hiz groin. . . he'd get turned off immediately!!

Moyola:

awww!!!

seemz he doznt rily lorf u,

has he tried contactin u since then? if not, hez gotten what he wanted. . . .

its not true. For him to be with her for three months and not have sex is a very great sacrifice for a normal viral guy. Imagine the girl allowed him to handle/smooch her and when he got Hot, she expected him not to want sex? That dosent work for guys my sister. (well most guys not me).
Oh and he might not have contacted cos. . . . . emm . . . . . . maybe he dosent have credit  . or maybe she dosent pick his calls or sumtin.

richo:

most times u girls enjoy the sex and use rape as an excuse to guilty conscience!if all u did was to smile and say tochukwu stop it then am sorry to tell u but its not rape!!

This is typical of most girls. what stops her from jumping off the bed?

lol some girls like decieving demselves

some of them will say na rape
others will say let me just see what u want to do
some say u made them drunk

some will say if ur name is obinna! remove my panties lemmie see if u no de fear face

but all the same they all want to get caned

thats nt rape both of u enjoyed it,sebi both of u kissed to d extend of nt known what was going on,we a all humanbeing,u almost took him to paradise & u wanted to get back,is nt possible, then u ddnt stoped him, u said he wouldnt listen,hw dd u known dat he would listen? but if d guy has nt caled u since then dats mix he has achieved wat he was looking for,but if d guy s calling u as he was doing b4 just carry ur cross & follow him.wish u save journey.ire ooooooooooooooo

abioye, :

thats nt rape both of u enjoyed it,sebi both of u kissed to d extend extent of nt known what was going on,we a all humanbeings,u almost took him to paradise & u wanted to get back,is nt possible, then u ddnt[b] stoped[/b] stop him, u said he wouldnt listen,hw dd u known that he would listen? but if d guy has nt caled u since then that is mix means he has achieved what he was looking for,but if d guy s calling u as he was doing before just carry ur cross & follow him.wish u save safe journey.ire ooooooooooooooo

I'm sorry this happened, but the simple solution is: pick your boyfriends wisely.  

If your boyfriend is much stronger than you, and you are on the same bed, half dressed with no one around, and he wants to do it, and you are not prepared to kick his groin, then the only thing that stops him from raping you at will is his character.  

If you are dating a person whose character you are not sure about, then it's a good idea to avoid being half-naked on in his bedroom with no one around.  I'm not blaming you, I am empowering you with the information you need to protect yourself.

Was it rape?  Was it not rape? It depends on a lot of information that you have not shared with us, such as whether you told him to stop.  One woman's rape is another woman's <<censored>>.

The important things you need to do:
(1)  To break up with him immediately.  That is the only straightforward way to punish him.
(2)  Go to your doctor and ask for preventive measures you can take to prevent HIV/STD infection.

Date rape is a habit that some men have. The solution is for women to stop tolerating it. Thanks a million.

seun its not about breaking up. she enjoyed it but is feeling guilty because she has allowed the pleasure to break her belief of not having sex. . . yet.
She is only worried. . . . i assume. . . . because the guy hasnt called.

He dated her for 3 months and in those three months she said she didn't want sex, he was fine with that.

In those three months, he also agreed to the kissing,necking,hugging etc but no sex routine and he was fine with that. Why? Because she probably believed that they are in a committed relationship and sex would definitely come but at a later date.

On this particular day, she rejected his advances (as she had always done before) hoping that they would just stop where they used to but he overpowered her.

He raped her.

@spikedcylinder

if a guy is rubbing your boobs on the bed and takes of ur cloths what else do u expect?

theres a clear cut difference because she was enjoyin the pressing and she ddnt say she struggled during the so called rape.that girl shuld face reality jare

Seun:

I'm sorry this happened, but the simple solution is: pick your boyfriends wisely.

that is in no way a "simple solution"

how can 1 tell from the start that the guy would do such thing?

this thread is so disgusting , boyfriend rapes girlfriend , how is that ? its not a man rapes a girl ? dumb-fools

poster,
wereyou a virgin before the "rape"?
if not,what prompted the no sex again
I heard of a case in Ife when i was in school,(i didnt go to ife)
the gurl had gone to one hall( I dont remember the name now)
peeps go to that hall to report anything,
the gurl told them the boyfriend raped her
and the guy was summoned
asked some questins,
after the interrogattion,
he was asked to carry the gurl inside again and give her another koboko

I think gurls should be serious,
if you dont want sex,dont be alone with him,
even the holiest pastor will egt carried away when left alone with a woman he facies

cheerylips:

but he said he would try[b] not to get carried away[/b], we were sleeping in each other's arm , touching me. i don't mind him touching, the sex i don't want for now.

We kissed and he got soooo truned on that he practically raped me, He said he was sorry and all but,

my affections for him has redused a bit thot i still love him a lot because he is a kind and gentle guy. I just don't know waht to say to him on phone or what to do when i see him.

Right now, i just want him to leave me alone.
Need advice ASAP.

baby just look at the bolded phrases. 1- he promised not to get carried away.
Did you promote an environment for him not to be carried away, you be the judge of that.
2- You were sleeping in each other's arms & he was touching you which you didn't mind. You kissed and he got soooo(emphasis, yours)turned on.
Again, were those examples of how not to encourage a man not to get carried away? Be the judge.
3-He said he was sorry and you still love him cus he is a kind and gentle guy . Haba he is not superhuman he succumbed to the pressures of the flesh, aided by your (in)actions.  
If you still love him because of the qualities you mentioned, after hurting and making the conventional shakara, put it behind you and continue your relationship.
To me, you didn't put much effort to prevent him from getting carried away and that is where his leeway is; he promised not to get carried away, forgive me for adding under the right circumstance.
Words of wisdom, (you don't give a lion a goat for safe keeping)

@Seun

I will disagree with you there

She said she allowed him touch the other stuffs

But they agreed not to have sex

If she was wise,she should have rejected any form of Cuddling and Petting

They are both young and vulnerable

And should have known things like these were bound to happen if they didn't take precautionary measures

@Poster

Were you a Virgin before he Pounced on you?

If YES,then he took advantage of your emotions

But if NO,then You both wanted it.


And you can call him and let him understand that what as happened as happened

That you both should continue with your relationship.

You never know he might be scared of your reaction

Hence not calling you.

cheerylips:

i don't mind him touching but its just the sex i don't want for now.
We kissed and he got soooo truned on that he practically raped me. i was so upset because i told him NO but he wouldn't listen.

You told him no?You prolly are one of 'em gurls
who say NO and act YES.How can you say NO to sex
yet you sleep with him on same bed prolly naked and you kissed
him till he got turned on?If you weren't ready for sex the highest I expect you to
give a guy is a peck and not a tongue fightin' excercise and hands movin' all over the body.
My gurl . . . you enjoyed every minute of the 'fight' move on with your relationship like someone said.

@CHERRYLIPS

, and i actually thought that stupidity was expensive and scarce, obviously you have so much to spare,you are so incredilbly stuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupid,you don't want to get laid and you are in his arms, yeah right?, please spare us the horse shit, its like saying you are going to swim but you wont get wet, you desired it, you wanted, you thought of it and you got it,more like subconcious gratification, so why waste precious thread space with your hypocritical - sorry ass post, i see it to be that you are looking for a good enough excuse to present to your conscience when it comes hitting you with those-" why did you have sex questions", everything was in place for you to have sex, the ambience was just so perfect, on the bed, in his arms, touching all over, oh,how romantically stupid, i guess your cd player was reeling out the ever too famous, sex-themed song- "sexual healing",so go pitch your story elswhere or betterstill, DEAL WITH IT

Missy B:

You told him no?You prolly are one of 'em gurls
who say NO and act YES.How can you say NO to sex
yet you sleep with him on same bed prolly naked and you kissed
him till he got turned on?If you weren't ready for sex the highest I expect you to
give a guy is a peck and not a tongue fightin' excercise and hands movin' all over the body.
My gurl . . . you enjoyed every minute of the 'fight' move on with your relationship like someone said.

Tgirl . . . mind yaself O.

Sorry, but the topic is thrash.

It however raises useful point though, that is : when does a toaster or male friend become a boyfriend? Boyfriend/ girlfriend without too much grammar suggests mutually consenting lovers. So girls should learn to use that word responsibly. Technically at the time he forced her, dude was not a boyfriend yet and so was guilty of rape. You can do what you like with him. But poster had compromised her case by calling bosso boyfriend so she is not likely going to get much sympathy.

Lesson- That boy is not your boyfriend until you have had sex with him.If he must be emburdened with that title he should at least be allowed to earn it.

I hope the guy didn't ditch you after that exercise
Continue with the relationship, but get ready for more action--he knows how to get you now

Ladies would never fail to amuse me. How can you call the scenario you just painted RAPE.
I mean, you led him on right from the word GO. If you are not ready for SEX, back off from all sorts of
actions from a GUY,  that's says he will try not to get carried away and most importantly, a person
you enjoy his touch. You never can tell where it might lead to.

Did you use the word LOVE? Then forgive him since you could still describe him as kind and gentle.

hmmm, this is a really perfect story suitable for our ever lovely soap- SUPER STORY

richo:

@spikedcylinder

if a guy is rubbing your boobs on the bed and takes of ur cloths what else do u expect?

Please don't ask me that. My reaction would be very different from the OP's and I'm guessing that would probably derail the thread, 


@ topic
I'm sorry, I need to ask, what has virginity got to do with saying no to sex?

@posta
i got d folwng frm ur post:

i tod him i neva wanted sex but he neva agred.
He had made his intentions (to hav sex) Knwn frm d out set yet u went on.

despit telin u his inability to contrl his emotions, u went 2his house (guessed u dressed sexy, probably pased d nit wit dsame guy, in d same room, on d same bed, in d absence of pple, and u neva wanted sex.

u were lyin on each odas arms
he wok up & stated tochin u, yet u neva mind, u neva refused u were stil lyin on d bed.

u kised & got so truned on dat he practicaly raed u.

i wil say u got wat u had wanted probably a long tim b4 den.

u had & enjoyed d sex u weren't raped

Did you enjoy it? 'YES' or 'NO'

Urrrgh, I'm getting really annoyed reading some of the responses here.

She said no to the intercourse, he carried on, therefore it was RAPE.

She may just have enjoyed the handling/pre-intimacy etc, they had an understanding, she does not want sexual intercourse, he forced her, therefore it was RAPE.

He RAPED her.

There is a difference between Sexual pre-intimacy and Sexual Intercourse.

He RAPED her!

ibkaye:

She may just have enjoyed the handling/pre-intimacy etc, they had an understanding, she does not want sexual intercourse, he forced her, therefore it was RAPE.

Do you enjoy the handling/pre-intimacy too?

chamotex:

Do you enjoy the handling/pre-intimacy too?

Mr good head, let us not divert from the topic

Missy B:

Tgirl . . . mind yaself O.

ok. Confession tym