I have been dating this guy for sometime now. he told me he has a plot of land somewhere. he has proposed to marry me and I accepted. But something happened yesterday that made me mad.

He said he want to discuss something with me which I obliged and went to meet him. he said someone has given him the cost of building a bungalow, that he has saved money.

But problem started when he asked me to decide if he should use the money to develop the land or he should use the money to marry me. That our marriage is in my hands to decide.

I told him for the fact he has already asked someone to prepare a quotation of the cost for the building that he should go ahead not tomorrow he will say because of me he couldn't build a house, I also let him know that I can't take such decision for him.

Please house, are my suppose to be the one to decide for him on what to do with his money? especially marrying me aspect, is it truly in my hands?
Are my over reacting because I have refused to talk to him since yesterday.

Your advice would be highly appreciated.

This calls for a mat

He set a trap for you. . .and you escaped.
Let him build his house.
You might still get married.

WHERE IS YOUR OWN MONEY?

Abi na empty hand YOU AND YOUR FAMILY wan take marry the man?

you did the right thing. Just relax

you can still have both. He can build his house which is a better investment than expensive wedding. Just ask to go to registry and get married. A year after building the house, you can have wedding of your dreams (a yr is plenty time to save). That way you get best of both world. A husband and a house (that will appreciate in value as time goes by)

You did good....

Op you are over reacting by not talking to him since yesterday! You made a wise decision and I'm hoping he knows it too.

He tested you and you passed.
#strange but true.

Op, its his decision to make and you really should not be mad at him. Marriage is not running away.

OmoAlata1: you can still have both. He can build his house which is a better investment than expensive wedding. Just ask to go to registry and get married. A year after building the house, you can have wedding of your dreams (a yr is plenty time to save). That way you get best of both world. A husband and a house (that will appreciate in value as time goes by)

wow i never knew nairaland ladies still have working brains in them...nice comment

Please, can somebody kindly tell me what exactly he was testing in his fiancee?

Court wedding costs less than 20k, don't let him keep you waiting. Time is the worst enemy of man....


I doubt if a guy that is really ready to get married will ask such a question.

OmoAlata1: you can still have both. He can build his house which is a better investment than expensive wedding. Just ask to go to registry and get married. A year after building the house, you can have wedding of your dreams (a yr is plenty time to save). That way you get best of both world. A husband and a house (that will appreciate in value as time goes by)

thanks

beeevan: Court wedding costs less than 20k, don't let him keep you waiting. Time is the worst enemy of man....


I doubt if a guy that is really ready to get married will ask such a question.

Exactly my thought, why on earth will he ask me such question.
Thanks

Sophyrocks: Op, its his decision to make and you really should not be mad at him. Marriage is not running away.

I am not even in a hurry to get married. so it would've been different if I was pressurizing him hence my madness towards him.

This is abit dicey. There are some dynamics to it. How long have you two been together? How old are you two? Do you think you can have a low key wedding and use the remaining cash for the house project?

If I were you, I won't be making any choice. I will tell him to choose anyone he thinks is his priority. More like changing the game and "playing safe". Believe me, anyone you choose may be used against you sooner or later.

Cunny man die, cunny man bury am.

Grayz:

Exactly my thought, why on earth will he ask me such question.
Thanks

Stop ignoring the calls and hear what he has to say, how long does he expect you to wait? Can a court wedding be arranged while you wait for your dream wedding?

I don't understand why a man will ask such a question to a girl he claims to love. Know what is in this for you, Don't allow anyone waste your life for nothing.

Phema: This is abit dicey. There are some dynamics to it. How long have you two been together? How old are you two? Do you think you can have a low key wedding and use the remaining cash for the house project?

If I were you, I won't be making any choice. I will tell him to choose anyone he thinks is his priority. More like changing the game. Anyone you choose may be used against you later.

Cunny man die, cunny man bury am.

This is exactly what I will do too, can't make such choice for him.

alutacontinua: Please, can somebody kindly tell me what exactly he was testing in his fiancee?

He jst wanted to know how self centered she was.

No u did not overreact,just relax and giv Omoalata's advice a very big thought, am sure it ll do u good and note that u are entering a life time commitment with this man,so make a decision that ll make him trust u with his all in time to come . Good luck.

Kanwulia: He set a trap for you. . .and you escaped.
Let him build his house.
You might still get married.

WHERE IS YOUR OWN MONEY?

Abi na empty hand YOU AND YOUR FAMILY wan take marry the man?

I can take every other insult from you as i have known you to be a nuisance in this forum but don't you ever in your life bring my family in this.

For your info I am gainfully employed. Anuofia!

Grayz:
I can take every other insult from you as i have known you to be a nuisance in this forum but don't you ever in your life bring my family in this.

For your info I am gainfully employed. Anuofia!

You will end up derailing your own thread.


He can still marry you and build his house. He can't compare the cost of building a house to paying your dowry. First thing first, white wedding can come later.

op you gave him a good answer, its not in your place to decide for him. The only wrong you did is ignoring his calls, pls talk to him but maintain your stands that it is his decision to make as he deems fit.

He can start with introduction and court wedding first

Ur first responds was ok, talk to him wen next he calls, tell him wat OmoAlata said.

alutacontinua: Please, can somebody kindly tell me what exactly he was testing in his fiancee?

was about asking the same question.
@Op,you spoke well.

Grayz:
I can take every other insult from you as i have known you to be a nuisance in this forum but don't you ever in your life bring my family in this.

For your info I am gainfully employed. Anuofia!

I did not insult you.
I only asked you A SIMPLE QUESTION which requires a SIMPLE ANSWER!
A nuisance indeed!
Wetin you dey wait for? Come and ban! I nor say my ID dey pinch dat your TRIPLE-WIDE PLANET URANUS!
DO YA PHACKING WORST!

Just as you brought your USELESS POVERTY-STRICKEN LIFE TO THIS FORUM. . .I HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO THE SAME!
RETIRED, DILAPIDATED, ASSSSSSSSSHAWO DUNDEE-UNITED!
Na now ya mates dey marry with your CUBAN/LIBYA IMMIGRATION AGE?

Now, make I cuss you well well. . .you polymonikering CHEAP NL WHORRRRE.
You siddon for hia dey ration money between house and marriage!
You BUSH CHURCH-RAT!

Only ijjjjots likey ya cannot differentiate a simple kweshun from an insult because YOU ARE DENSE!
Your mates don build dem own houses PLUS PAY GROOM'S PRICE ON TOP OF THEIR HUSBANDS' HEADS AND AZZEZ like MERCY JOHNSON OKOJIE!
You dey for NL dey form 'MGBEKE WIFEY'!
You nor reasssssssssh to be MERCY JOHNSON OKOJIE IM GRAND MAMA?
Stephanie Okereke Linus Idahosa nko?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aH3_l1TRvzM


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABngyrGyYic

Ode! CARRY YOU USELESS THREAD OF POVERTY COMOT FOR HIA JOR!
You dey go marry many man wey nor get house? In 2014?
DESPERADO OLD CARGO!!!!
WEY YA OWN HOUSE. . .ABI NA UNDER BRIDGE YOU DEY LIVE?
The yeye man nor get taste! Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!!!

LAHOR WO WO. . . . SIKORDOR!

SASHEE WOR-WOR DI KA GI. . . .MTCHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!!!!

Now. . .PHOCK OFF WITH YOUR USELESS THREAD!
GOODU LUCKU WITH YA BOKO HARAM WEDDING!!!
IJJJJIOT!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kv2Fkr37dqY

you did the right thing. An uncle of mine told me how he broke up with his then fiancee because of something similar. He bought a mercedes 230 in the early 90's when the car was in vogue, his then fiancee fought him because he didn't use the money for their wedding.

Kanwulia:

I did not insult you.
I only asked you A SIMPLE QUESTION which requires a SIMPLE ANSWER!
A nuisance indeed!
Wetin you dey wait for? Come and ban!
DO YA PHACKING WORST!

Just as you brought your USELESS POVERTY-STRICKEN LIFE TO THIS FORUM. . .I HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO THE SAME!
RETIRED, DILAPIDATED, ASSSSSSSSSHAWO DUNDEE-UNITED!
Na now ya mates dey marry with your IMMIGRATION AGE?

Now make I cuss you well well. . .you polymonikering CHEAP NL WHORRRRE.
You siddon for hia dey ration money between house and marriage!
You BUSH CHURCH-RAT!

Only ijjjjots likey ya cannot differentiate a simple kweshun from an insult because YOU ARE DENSE!
Your mates don build dem own houses PLUS PAY GROOM'S PRICE ON TOP OF THEIR HUSBANDS' HEADS AND AZZEZ like MERCY JOHNSON OKOJIE!
You dey for NL dey form 'MGBEKE WIFEY'!
You nor reasssssssssh to be MERCY JOHNSON IM GRAND MAMA?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ud7ynpTP8c

Ode! CARRY YOU USELESS THREAD OF POVERTY COMOT FOR HIA JOR!
You dey go marry many man we nor get house?
WEY YA OWN HOUSE. . .ABI NA UNDER BRIDGE YOU DEY LIVE?
The yeye man nor get taste! Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!!!

LAHOR WO WO. . . . SIKORDOR!

calm down.

lofty900: calm down.

I wanto marry! Dey don break. . . COOOCK DON CROW. KOOOKOOOOROOOOOOKOOOOOOOO!!!!
When BRRRRRRRRRREAZZZTS DON DEY SWEEP GRAAAANNNND PLUS OCEAN FLOOR!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fe_HtA5zw9U

Abeg nor 'mention' me back for this USSSSSSSSSSSELESS thread for attention-seeking NL WWWWHORRRRES 'N PIIIIMMMMPS!
Nanzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzenzzzzzzzzzz!

THESE NA THE SAME USSSSSSSSSLESS IJJIOTS OF WOMEN WEY GO DEY CLAIM 'FEMI NISM'. . . .YET DEM NOR HOL' SHI-SHI FOR POCKET TO MARRY DEM OWN HUSBAND PUT FOR 'OUSE!
Awon 'OBIAGELI/OBIANUJU' SUPERSTARS!
Locccccccccccal tinz!

@ Kanwulia Hahahahaha Hahahahaha abeg no derail my thread I no get your power

Chai ;


OP do not be discouraged

OP, dont be mad, a smart woman builds a HOME not a wedding day.
We were faced with same choice, chose the house no regrets.
Choose a smaller wedding and build your home, its just a day and you can do it over later but your home is your home oh.