springtime2:
I will do that, I will be that tonight. I will send it to him as email and wait to hear what he has to say

Stay calm while waiting, dont expect express answer. Allow him to reflect, compose himself and write, dont pressure push or remind him. Calm down.

Hmmm...!

Thank you so much all of you. It makes me feel so much better cos this is the first time i have discussed this with anyone. I also thank you all for not thinking i am silly. It is not easy to discuss with family and friends. I will apply some of the advice I got from where and see what result I will receive. As i love this man and want lifetime with him

Mamaflex: Hmmm...!

No be small hmmmm!
Anyway some men can kill a woman's sex drive

@op, your own is too much Insisting on giving him a bj while he was cooking? With his brother in the next room?
Haba, sometimes adventure, adventure, becomes a chore o. Besides most guys aren't too comfortable with a se,xually aggressive girl. Se,xual aggression is masculine, not feminine.

BoboYekini: @op, your own is too much Insisting on giving him a bj while he was cooking? With his brother in the next room?
Haba, sometimes adventure, adventure, becomes a chore o. Besides most guys aren't too comfortable with a se,xually aggressive girl. Se,xual aggression is masculine, not feminine.

His brother was not home at all that day and he did not even return until late late in the night. how is my own too much? he was cooking for me and i got excited that he was doing all the kitchen work and wanted to show my appreciation. How many men do you know that will be in the kitchen cooking while their woman is sitting in parlor watching tv? that was why i wanted to orally please him to show how much i adored him. Explain to me how a sexua.lly aggresive woman can appear masculine?

Eleyi gidigan oo.....hmmmm

OP the stuff he told you about doing it to other girls is just an ego boost, he can't do it to anyone.


OP you sef no be here ooooo .

I just love this OP
#nohomo

beeevan: OP the stuff he told you about doing it to other girls is just an ego boost, he can't do it to anyone.


OP you sef no be here ooooo .

Honestly,this Op no be here at all.

thorpido: Honestly,this Op no be here at all.

Lol

springtime2:
I am so tired of missionary, all i do is stare at ceiling and count away

Shake things up be gentle with the guy.

Handcuffs? Role play cloths? Cuming all over your face? Babe, easy ooooo. There is much more to marriage than aggressive sex and wanting to act like a por*n star ooo. If sex was the be all, all those oyibos with crazy and unimaginable sexual orientations will be the happiest in their marriages and their divorce rate will be negligible.

Funny enough, you might get married now and you won't even have the strenght to have gentle sex talk more the aggressive one. When you're done dealing with inlaws, outlaws, kids, work, house chores, finance, pregnancy etal, trust me, you no go remember where you keep your handcuffs for months

As for me, I will choose a sexually clueless good man who treats me real good over an empty badas$ "por*n star". To each his own.

greatgod2012: I'm forced to log in because of this thread.....

Me too, but not primarily because of OP
you haff kill me with this and your subsequent posts ! I haven''t laughed so hard for a long time. Disturbing my colleagues wiff laff.

greatgod2012:
Kitchen
Bathroom
Mouth action
Handcuff
Indecency films......etc....within one month of proposing to you.......it's certain that guy can't withstand your several se*ual adventures......and if i were him, i will take to my heels, because if this complains can be too much at this stage, i wonder how it will be when married...........i pity the guy sha............but mehn, young lady, you need to take it easy o........ther is more to marriage and life than all these.......may God help you to make the right decision o......
I'm out!

OP,
many black men hate handcuffs. Multiple arrests by oppressive law-enforcement personnel means we hate the sight and feel of the damn things .

Am I the only one who thinks this is fabricated or exaggerated at best ?


TV

^{**I suspect multi-monickering; old tag new handle**}

BoboYekini: @op, your own is too much Insisting on giving him a bj while he was cooking? With his brother in the next room?
Haba, sometimes adventure, adventure, becomes a chore o. Besides most guys aren't too comfortable with a se,xually aggressive girl. Se,xual aggression is masculine, not feminine.

dat is africa mentalty dear, come out f it.

TV01:
Many black men hate handcuffs. Multiple arrests by oppressive law-enforcement personnel means we hate the sight and feel of the damn things .

Am I the only one who thinks this is fabricated or exaggerated at best ?
TV

Me too jare.

That was how one woman came here last year with similar complaints, only for us to ask for details, she gave example of one day they were going home from work at night, on top of third mainland bridge and she told the hubby she was hor*ny, told him to pull over so they could do the needful. The man refused and she came here saying the husband wasn't adventurous.

Which kain yeye risk for 5-minute action be that? If a drunken driver rams into them now, they will say their enemies have come to kill them Adventure mean say make person die? Hian!

lol, I am sorry to tell you about my story is not exaggerated at all. There are some of us nigerian ladies who like this kind of stuff and some of us are married, some of us are single. Most are very timid to say anything cos of what society will say, i am just very open about it. You will be shocked how many of us who believe like this.

TV01:
Me too, but not primarily because of OP
you haff kill me with this and your subsequent posts ! I haven''t laughed so hard for a long time. Disturbing my colleagues wiff laff.




OP,
many black men hate handcuffs. Multiple arrests by oppressive law-enforcement personnel means we hate the sight and feel of the damn things .

Am I the only one who thinks this is fabricated or exaggerated at best ?




TV

^{**I suspect multi-monickering; old tag new handle**}

it is not even a real handcuff, he can unlock himself if he wants lol. my story is not fabricated. it is hard to believe in nigerian community but very true story

no be small something o.

springtime2: it is not even a real handcuff, he can unlock himself if he wants lol. my story is not fabricated. it is hard to believe in nigerian community but very true story

There are a number of reasons that I'm doubtful, but to afford you the benefit of that doubt;

He just gives up easily. I am very adventurous and he is very timid, he said he will do but never do. But one thing I will give him is he has a lot of stamina and can go 60-90 minutes at a time.

He has stamina

that is why I am so frustrated. He told me about this past sex.ual escapade.

He has obviously done some sort of "adventurous" in the past

So there is really no problem.

Married men and women typically have mismatched libidos, as part of a mutually loving relationship with a sacrificial mindset, they meet somewhere in the middle or have times when they "give out" , with the "others satisfaction" taking priority over their own.

He can deliver the goods he just needs the time and encouragement. Please don't think solely of your own pleasure. Re the kitchen incident, maybe he appreciates other ways of being appreciated - why should your appreciation of his efforts/good work, be in a manner you choose?

And be careful of what you stoke up, life changes (i.e. birth) may mean your libido reduces - what if he insists on getting his "wife induced freak-on" then?

Physical intimacy, even great physical intimacy, is only one part of a healthy, fulfilling relationship. If it last long enough at some point it will be just holding hands anyway . And many of even the best relationships have periods when circumstances means it's not possible.

Learn to qualify the word "self" with "control" and "sacrifice".


All the best


TV

TV01:
There are a number of reasons that I'm doubtful, but to afford you the benefit of that doubt;


He has stamina


He has obviously done some sort of "adventurous" in the past

So there is really no problem.

Married men and women typically have mismatched libidos, as part of a mutually loving relationship with a sacrificial mindset, they meet somewhere in the middle or have times when they "give out" , with the "others satisfaction" taking priority over their own.

He can deliver the goods he just needs the time and encouragement. Please don't think soleley of your own pleasure. Re the kitchen incident, maybe he appreciates other ways of being appreciated - why should your appreciation of his efforts/good work, be in a manner you choose?

And be careful of what you stoke up, life changes (i.e. birth) may mean your libido reduces - what if he insists on getting his "wife induced freak-on" then?

Physical intimacy, even great physical intimacy, is only one part of a healthy, fulfilling relationship. If it last long enough at some point it will be just holding hands anyway . And many of even the best relationships have periods when circumstances means it's not possible.

Learn to qualify the word "self" with "control" and "sacrifice".


All the best


TV

Thanks for the advice. I am sorry that you have doubt about my story. Most nigerian women don't discuss this type of things, maybe that is why you have doubt about my story. that was why I even brought it online cos if i tell family and friends about it they will not take me serious. I just wanted the good sex life. He is a working progress and I am willing to be patient with him. I guess after a yr, i have become impatient with his attitude.

springtime2: lol, I am sorry to tell you about my story is not exaggerated at all. There are some of us nigerian ladies who like this kind of stuff and some of us are married, some of us are single. Most are very timid to say anything cos of what society will say, i am just very open about it. You will be shocked how many of us who believe like this.

I can't stop laughing at some of the responses on this thread o! Substitute cuffs with velvet ropes, forget p0rn, there are better visual stimulations. I dunno about many ladies on thread but I am quite adventurous sexually, I'd suggest other things but heck I am afraid before dem name NL ashi o

naijababe:

I can't stop laughing at some of the responses on this thread o! Substitute cuffs with velvet ropes, forget p0rn, there are better visual stimulations. I dunno about many ladies on thread but I am quite adventurous sexually, I'd suggest other things but heck I am afraid before dem name NL ashi o

please forget what they will say, spill the beans lol

springtime2:

please forget what they will say, spill the beans lol

First how open is this man?

naijababe:

First how open is this man?

he is very open just timid about things. he is not close minded at all

naijababe:

I dunno about many ladies on thread but I am quite adventurous sexually, I'd suggest other things but heck I am afraid before dem name NL ashi o

I thought you were the resident NL virgin

cococandy: I thought you were the resident NL virgin

Ermmmm yes, that too

springtime2:
he is very open just timid about things. he is not close minded at all

Good, then start with less brazen things. It is very important for things to appear spontaneous rather than planned. Regular activities can easily become a 'jiggy' session if there is less planning involved.

springtime2: Is sexual chemistry important in marriage?

You damn right it is but it isn't the most important aspect of marriage as it's an aspect that would most certainly be thrown to the back burner as you clock up the years in your marriage.

You both need to manage your expectation if you want the prospective marriage to work

naijababe:

I am afraid before dem name NL ashi o

Who wan drag the title with you?

mbulela:

Who wan drag the title with you?

I think it has to do more with his sexual orientation. Your man might have some bias religious disposition that has built in him over time. He consider what you want as outrageous, wild and crazy(in his thinking, those stuffs are not for marriage (thats where you two are heading i believe) they are for some girls you pick from the club). Your man needs total re-orientation on everything about sex. I strongly recommend that you both should start reading funmi akingbade's column in saturday punch you can also get a compilation of her past column from bookshop or simple get as many saturday punch as possible. Read them together and watch if his orientation changes. If it does not, you two should seek counselling. If you can't resolve it after this two steps, then am afraid that 'when' you go ahead with the marriage, this will be the basis for your frustration and un-happiness. I particularly recommend funmi akingbade, she has done a lot to demystify sex especially all the religious bias on it.

dear op, dnt even think of breaking up with ur man oo.sex is all oo.there is more to marriage n if u break up, u might regret it cos d oda man might nt love n care for u buh be a tiger in his matrimonial bed and every oda bed(womanizer).jst like naijababe sed,dnt plan ur moves.frm experience, believ me, wen u start havin ur kids, u will definitely get tired due to stress of nursing ur babe,house chores, family issues et al.so jst calm down n accept him d way he is now.buh if sex matters to u soooo much,den u chek d guy nxt door n be shocked to get weddin invitation frm ur present guy within 6months.goodluck!