ChiJenyfa: do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers else u'll face de consequences alone. God won't come to ur rescue.

ihedinobi2: Ever wish you had the answers to a test before you walked into the classroom? Maybe some of you did have the answers, but you better keep that to yourself. I took some really hard tests during my college tenure. An engineering curriculum will do that. And if you spent time in college you remember review days. The professor would walk into a class full of students (some of which I had never seen) and give some insights about the impending test. Miss review day, and it would be foolish to expect a passing grade. But it never failed. I would follow the guideline. I would study the handout. But on the day of the exam, the professor would put the exam on my desk…and there it was. A foreign formula or equation I had never seen. At least one I did not see on the study guide. Looking back, I realize something…the teacher did not intend for the study guide to be comprehensive. It was simply not possible to include everything from the required reading, class notes, and lectures. Such is the case with the church and marriage. I am grateful for the foundation the church gave me in regards to marriage. It was a good study guide. But there some things on the test I did not learn until marriage began. So, I am going to give you some answers to the test that some of you might not expect to see. I grew up in church. I spent most of my time with Christian people. I was told much about marriage. But these 7 truths about marriage I never heard in church.



1.) Sex is a gift from God. Explore It.

Make no mistake…God created sex. But through the years, God’s people have allowed Satan to steal this gift. Without a fight. I was never educated about sex…and I grew up in a Christian family. My framework for sex was built by my friends at school and the movies I watched. Big UH OH. I still struggle with enjoying the fullness of sex today because of the cloud of lies formed during my teenage years.

It is time for God’s people to take back the gift of sex. The lies surrounding it are ruining lives and ruining marriages. If you are married, let me challenge you to explore sex. Explore the fullness of it for the glory of God. Pray for sexual intimacy with your spouse.

Parents…it is time to stop allowing Satan to define sex for our children. Educate them. Start early. The average child is exposed to pornography at age 11. Eleven!! And many parents wait until high school to have “the talk” with them. At that point, you are not building a foundation for sex, but trying to destroy a foundation Satan has already built.


Church leaders…I am convinced of this. The situation in our culture today is too dire to allow parents to override you here. Talk about sex. If parents refuse to educate their children, then you do it. Do not let Satan beat you to the punch. A false understanding of sex is destroying our young people. It is destroying our nation. It is destroying our world. And we are doing nothing! Sex is a beautiful gift created by God for a man and a woman that have vowed to spend the rest of their earthly lives with one another. If you are married…open this gift and enjoy the fullness of it.




2.) There is more than one person out there for you.

Soul mates are made…not born. I am not sure where this idea of soul mate originated, but it is false. Maintaining a healthy relationship is more about commitment than perfection. Every person on earth has imperfections. And the reality is we could spend our lives with more than one person.


Tiffani (my wife) is not perfect. There are nuances about her that frustrate me. But I have realized these frustrations are really a result of my imperfections. I love her so much. And I love her more everyday. I am committed to her.

I meet too many young people that are waiting for something that is not real. “I just couldn’t marry her because she smacked her food.” “He just wasn’t the one…he had this weird twitch when he smiled. But I know my soul mate is still out there. I just have to keep looking.”

Or you might have just missed him or her. What if God does not want you to find a perfect person, but find an imperfect person that will draw you closer to Him? What if God desires you to marry a person with flaws to expose yours?

What if God wants to teach you the value and life found in committing to one person forever, not the exhausting pursuit of searching your entire life to find the perfect person?

Soul mates are made…not born.




3.) The first year of marriage is hard…really hard.

What have we done? Are we going to make it? Why is this so hard? All questions I asked myself many times during my first year of marriage. We were arguing. We were fighting. It was really hard. And every day I thought something was wrong. I thought we had a bad marriage. Nobody warned me about the first year. But take this as a warning…the first year of marriage is difficult. If you are in the first year of marriage and thinking about giving up…congratulations. You are now…married!

But let me encourage you…do not give up. Everyone struggles. You are not unique. Persevere. There are better days coming. Your marriage will get better. Do not walk out. If you walk out now you disqualify yourself (and your spouse) from years of joy. Stick with it.



4.) A spouse does not complete you

I hate you Jerry Maguire. You have brainwashed a generation of people to believe a lie. Spouses do not complete people. I bought this lie, and it wasn’t until I let go of any notion my wife could fill some void that I was able to truly love her. Until then, I was always frustrated. I expected Tiffani to do something she was incapable of
doing.

If you are empty, broken, or insecure, and you believe a spouse is the silver bullet to your problems…buckle up. It will be a bumpy ride. Only God can fill those voids. You will never be able to enjoy the beauty of marriage if your spouse’s job is to complete you.



5.) Marry somebody with similar goals, dreams, and passions.

Marry somebody that is a Christian, yes. But I would go even further. Marry somebody with similar passions and dreams. Now, I understand this breaks down at some point. People are not machines. No two people are going to want exactly the same thing in life. However, if you love foreign missions and your potential spouse hates going overseas, some tension will arise. Synergy is extremely important in a marriage. If your spouse has the same vision as you, they will understand your struggles and support your pursuits. They will encourage your walk. They will be empathetic. There is much power in two people living life with the same goals, dreams, and passions for life.



6.) Marriage is not for everybody.

Paul talks about this in I Corinthians 7. He tells the church at Corinth to remain in the situation they are in. If unmarried, then stay unmarried. If married, then stay married. He later says this… Even better? I never heard that in church. Maybe it is time for God’s people to accept the reality that God has not called everyone to marry. I have talked with young men and women that are so concerned with finding a spouse. It consumes them. And most of the pressure comes from…US. The church. Once a person reaches mid- twenties, we assume something is wrong with them if they have not married. They must have a terrible flaw.

“Bless your heart. You are almost 30 and not married? I know this must be hard!?”

Shame on us. I am worried many failed marriages are a result of people allowing the pressure of marriage to draw them into something God did not design them for. Marriage is holy and good, but it is also possible to follow Jesus without a spouse.



7.) The wedding day is a lie…don’t buy it.

I love weddings. I love officiating them. It is a rare moment where I get to make a divine proclamation that forever changes the status of two people. Powerful.

But in an increasingly individualistic, “me” culture, weddings create a potentially dangerous situation. “Every girl lives for her wedding day.” It is all about the bride and groom. Everyone looks at them. Encourages them. Congratulates them.

Many couples have bought the lie of the wedding day…it is all about me. But marriage is at odds with this mindset. A successful wedding day is one where everyone serves you. A successful marriage is one where you serve your spouse. The wedding day is a day where the spotlight is on you. Marriage has no spotlight. The wedding day is about saying a bunch of words that most couples never take seriously. Marriage is about putting the words into action. The wedding day is joyous and celebratory. Many seasons of marriage are about persevering and not letting go through the storms.

Embrace your wedding day. Prepare for it. Celebrate it. But do not make the mistake of believing the lie. After your 20 minutes of fame, the spotlight is gone forever. It is no longer about you (and this is a good thing…you will see).

[url=frankmatthewpowell.com/truths-sex-marriage-never-learned-church/]Source[/url]

date1816: Surah Al-Furqan (The Criterion)
1.Blessed be He Who sent down the criterion (of right and wrong, i.e. this Qur'an) to His slave (Muhammad) that he may be a warner to the'Alamin(mankind and jinns).
2.He to Whom belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth, and Who has begotten no son (children or offspring) and for Whom there is no partner in the dominion. He has created everything, and has measured it exactly according to its due measurements.
3.Yet they have taken besides Him otheraliha(gods) that created nothing but are themselves created, and possess neither hurt nor benefit for themselves, and possess no power (of causing) death, nor (of giving) life, nor of raising the dead.
4.Those who disbelieve say: "This (the Qur'an) is nothing but a lie that he (Muhammad) has invented, and others have helped him at it, so that they have produced an unjust wrong (thing) and a lie."
5.And they say: "Tales of the ancients, which he has written down, and they are dictated to him morning and afternoon."
6.Say: "It (this Qur'an) has been sent down by Him (Allah) (the Real Lord of the heavens and earth) Who knows the secret of the heavens and the earth. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
7.And they say: "Why does this Messenger (Muhammad) eat food, and walk about in the markets (like ourselves). Why is not an angel sent down to him to be a warner with him?
8."Or (why) has not a treasure been granted to him, or why has he not a garden whereof he may eat?" And theZalimun(polytheists and wrong-doers, etc.) say: "You follow none but a man bewitched."
9.See how they coin similitudes for you, so they have gone astray, and they cannot find a (Right) Path.
10.Blessed be He Who, if He will, will assign you better than (all) that, - Gardens under which rivers flow (Paradise) and will assign you palaces (i.e. in Paradise).
11.Nay, they deny the Hour (the Day of Resurrection), and for those who deny the Hour, We have prepared a flaming Fire (i.e. Hell).
12.When it (Hell) sees them from a far place, they will hear its raging and its roaring.
13.And when they shall be thrown into a narrow place thereof, chained together, they will exclaim therein for destruction.
14.Exclaim not today for one destruction, but exclaim for many destructions.
15.Say: (O Muhammad) "Is that (torment) better or the Paradise of Eternity promised to theMuttaqun(pious and righteous persons - see V.2:2)?" It will be theirs as a reward and as a final destination.
16.For them there will be therein all that they desire, and they will abide (there forever). It is a promise binding upon your Lord that must be fulfilled.
17.And on the Day when He will gather them together and that which they worship besides Allah [idols, angels, pious men, saints, 'Iesa (Jesus) - son of Maryam (Mary), etc.]. He will say: "Was it you who misled these My slaves or did they (themselves) stray from the (Right) Path?"
18.They will say: "Glorified be You! It was not for us to take anyAuliya'(Protectors, Helpers, etc.) besides You, but You gave them and their fathers comfort till they forgot the warning, and became a lost people (doomed to total loss).
19.Thus they (false gods all deities other than Allah) will give you (polytheists) the lie regarding what you say (that they are gods besides Allah), then you can neither avert (the punishment), nor get help. And whoever among you does wrong (i.e. sets up rivals to Allah), We shall make him taste a great torment.
20.And We never sent before you (O Muhammad) any of the Messengers but verily, they ate food and walked in the markets. And We have made some of you as a trial for others: will you have patience? And your Lord is Ever All-Seer (of everything).
21.And those who expect not for a Meeting with Us (i.e. those who deny the Day of Resurrection and the life of the Hereafter), say: "Why are not the angels sent down to us, or why do we not see our Lord?" Indeed they think too highly of themselves, and are scornful with great pride.
22.On the Day they will see the angels, no glad tidings will there be for theMujrimun(criminals, disbelievers, polytheists, sinners, etc.) that day. And they (angels) will say: "All kinds of glad tidings are forbidden for you," [None will be allowed to enter Paradise except the one who said:La ilaha ill-Allah,"(none has the right to be worshipped but Allah) and acted practically on its legal orders and obligations].
23.And We shall turn to whatever deeds they (disbelievers, polytheists, sinners, etc.) did, and We shall make such deeds as scattered floating particles of dust.
24.The dwellers of Paradise (i.e. those who deserved it through their Faith and righteousness) will, on that Day, have the best abode, and have the fairest of places for repose.
25.And (remember) the Day when the heaven shall be rent asunder with clouds, and the angels will be sent down, with a grand descending.
26.The sovereignty on that Day will be the true (sovereignty), belonging to the Most Beneficent (Allah), and it will be a hard Day for the disbelievers (those who disbelieve in the Oneness of Allah Islamic Monotheism).
27.And (remember) the Day when theZalim(wrong-doer, oppressor, polytheist, etc.) will bite at his hands, he will say: "Oh! Would that I had taken a path with the Messenger ( Muhammad).
28."Ah! Woe to me! Would that I had never taken so-and-so as a friend!
29."He indeed led me astray from the Reminder (this Qur'an) after it had come to me. AndShaitan(Satan) is ever a deserter to man in the hour of need."
30.And the Messenger (Muhammad) will say: "O my Lord! Verily, my people deserted this Qur'an (neither listened to it, nor acted on its laws and orders).
31.Thus have We made for every Prophet an enemy among theMujrimun(disbelievers, polytheists, criminals, etc.). But Sufficient is your Lord as a Guide and Helper.
32.And those who disbelieve say: "Why is not the Qur'an revealed to him all at once?" Thus (it is sent down in parts), that We may strengthen your heart thereby. And We have revealed it to you gradually, in stages. (It was revealed to the Prophetin 23 years.).
33.And no example or similitude do they bring (to oppose or to find fault in you or in this Qur'an), but We reveal to you the truth (against that similitude or example), and the better explanation thereof.
34.Those who will be gathered to Hell (prone) on their faces, such will be in an evil state, and most astray from the (Straight) Path.
35.And indeed We gave Musa (Moses) the Scripture [the Taurat (Torah)], and placed his brother Harun (Aaron) with him as a helper;
36.And We said: "Go you both to the people who have denied OurAyat(proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.)." Then We destroyed them with utter destruction.
37.And Nuh's (Noah) people, when they denied the Messengers We drowned them, and We made them as a sign for mankind. And We have prepared a painful torment for theZalimun(polytheists and wrong-doers, etc).

lumzybo:

Wuld you be kind enough to explain what u have written. Thanks

ihedinobi2: Ever wish you had the answers to a test before you walked into the classroom? Maybe some of you did have the answers, but you better keep that to yourself. I took some really hard tests during my college tenure. An engineering curriculum will do that. And if you spent time in college you remember review days. The professor would walk into a class full of students (some of which I had never seen) and give some insights about the impending test. Miss review day, and it would be foolish to expect a passing grade. But it never failed. I would follow the guideline. I would study the handout. But on the day of the exam, the professor would put the exam on my desk…and there it was. A foreign formula or equation I had never seen. At least one I did not see on the study guide. Looking back, I realize something…the teacher did not intend for the study guide to be comprehensive. It was simply not possible to include everything from the required reading, class notes, and lectures. Such is the case with the church and marriage. I am grateful for the foundation the church gave me in regards to marriage. It was a good study guide. But there some things on the test I did not learn until marriage began. So, I am going to give you some answers to the test that some of you might not expect to see. I grew up in church. I spent most of my time with Christian people. I was told much about marriage. But these 7 truths about marriage I never heard in church.



1.) Sex is a gift from God. Explore It.

Make no mistake…God created sex. But through the years, God’s people have allowed Satan to steal this gift. Without a fight. I was never educated about sex…and I grew up in a Christian family. My framework for sex was built by my friends at school and the movies I watched. Big UH OH. I still struggle with enjoying the fullness of sex today because of the cloud of lies formed during my teenage years.

It is time for God’s people to take back the gift of sex. The lies surrounding it are ruining lives and ruining marriages. If you are married, let me challenge you to explore sex. Explore the fullness of it for the glory of God. Pray for sexual intimacy with your spouse.

Parents…it is time to stop allowing Satan to define sex for our children. Educate them. Start early. The average child is exposed to pornography at age 11. Eleven!! And many parents wait until high school to have “the talk” with them. At that point, you are not building a foundation for sex, but trying to destroy a foundation Satan has already built.


Church leaders…I am convinced of this. The situation in our culture today is too dire to allow parents to override you here. Talk about sex. If parents refuse to educate their children, then you do it. Do not let Satan beat you to the punch. A false understanding of sex is destroying our young people. It is destroying our nation. It is destroying our world. And we are doing nothing! Sex is a beautiful gift created by God for a man and a woman that have vowed to spend the rest of their earthly lives with one another. If you are married…open this gift and enjoy the fullness of it.




2.) There is more than one person out there for you.

Soul mates are made…not born. I am not sure where this idea of soul mate originated, but it is false. Maintaining a healthy relationship is more about commitment than perfection. Every person on earth has imperfections. And the reality is we could spend our lives with more than one person.


Tiffani (my wife) is not perfect. There are nuances about her that frustrate me. But I have realized these frustrations are really a result of my imperfections. I love her so much. And I love her more everyday. I am committed to her.

I meet too many young people that are waiting for something that is not real. “I just couldn’t marry her because she smacked her food.” “He just wasn’t the one…he had this weird twitch when he smiled. But I know my soul mate is still out there. I just have to keep looking.”

Or you might have just missed him or her. What if God does not want you to find a perfect person, but find an imperfect person that will draw you closer to Him? What if God desires you to marry a person with flaws to expose yours?

What if God wants to teach you the value and life found in committing to one person forever, not the exhausting pursuit of searching your entire life to find the perfect person?

Soul mates are made…not born.




3.) The first year of marriage is hard…really hard.

What have we done? Are we going to make it? Why is this so hard? All questions I asked myself many times during my first year of marriage. We were arguing. We were fighting. It was really hard. And every day I thought something was wrong. I thought we had a bad marriage. Nobody warned me about the first year. But take this as a warning…the first year of marriage is difficult. If you are in the first year of marriage and thinking about giving up…congratulations. You are now…married!

But let me encourage you…do not give up. Everyone struggles. You are not unique. Persevere. There are better days coming. Your marriage will get better. Do not walk out. If you walk out now you disqualify yourself (and your spouse) from years of joy. Stick with it.



4.) A spouse does not complete you

I hate you Jerry Maguire. You have brainwashed a generation of people to believe a lie. Spouses do not complete people. I bought this lie, and it wasn’t until I let go of any notion my wife could fill some void that I was able to truly love her. Until then, I was always frustrated. I expected Tiffani to do something she was incapable of
doing.

If you are empty, broken, or insecure, and you believe a spouse is the silver bullet to your problems…buckle up. It will be a bumpy ride. Only God can fill those voids. You will never be able to enjoy the beauty of marriage if your spouse’s job is to complete you.



5.) Marry somebody with similar goals, dreams, and passions.

Marry somebody that is a Christian, yes. But I would go even further. Marry somebody with similar passions and dreams. Now, I understand this breaks down at some point. People are not machines. No two people are going to want exactly the same thing in life. However, if you love foreign missions and your potential spouse hates going overseas, some tension will arise. Synergy is extremely important in a marriage. If your spouse has the same vision as you, they will understand your struggles and support your pursuits. They will encourage your walk. They will be empathetic. There is much power in two people living life with the same goals, dreams, and passions for life.



6.) Marriage is not for everybody.

Paul talks about this in I Corinthians 7. He tells the church at Corinth to remain in the situation they are in. If unmarried, then stay unmarried. If married, then stay married. He later says this… Even better? I never heard that in church. Maybe it is time for God’s people to accept the reality that God has not called everyone to marry. I have talked with young men and women that are so concerned with finding a spouse. It consumes them. And most of the pressure comes from…US. The church. Once a person reaches mid- twenties, we assume something is wrong with them if they have not married. They must have a terrible flaw.

“Bless your heart. You are almost 30 and not married? I know this must be hard!?”

Shame on us. I am worried many failed marriages are a result of people allowing the pressure of marriage to draw them into something God did not design them for. Marriage is holy and good, but it is also possible to follow Jesus without a spouse.



7.) The wedding day is a lie…don’t buy it.

I love weddings. I love officiating them. It is a rare moment where I get to make a divine proclamation that forever changes the status of two people. Powerful.

But in an increasingly individualistic, “me” culture, weddings create a potentially dangerous situation. “Every girl lives for her wedding day.” It is all about the bride and groom. Everyone looks at them. Encourages them. Congratulates them.

Many couples have bought the lie of the wedding day…it is all about me. But marriage is at odds with this mindset. A successful wedding day is one where everyone serves you. A successful marriage is one where you serve your spouse. The wedding day is a day where the spotlight is on you. Marriage has no spotlight. The wedding day is about saying a bunch of words that most couples never take seriously. Marriage is about putting the words into action. The wedding day is joyous and celebratory. Many seasons of marriage are about persevering and not letting go through the storms.

Embrace your wedding day. Prepare for it. Celebrate it. But do not make the mistake of believing the lie. After your 20 minutes of fame, the spotlight is gone forever. It is no longer about you (and this is a good thing…you will see).

[url=frankmatthewpowell.com/truths-sex-marriage-never-learned-church/]Source[/url]

ihedinobi2: Ever wish you had the answers to a test before you walked into the classroom? Maybe some of you did have the answers, but you better keep that to yourself. I took some really hard tests during my college tenure. An engineering curriculum will do that. And if you spent time in college you remember review days. The professor would walk into a class full of students (some of which I had never seen) and give some insights about the impending test. Miss review day, and it would be foolish to expect a passing grade. But it never failed. I would follow the guideline. I would study the handout. But on the day of the exam, the professor would put the exam on my desk…and there it was. A foreign formula or equation I had never seen. At least one I did not see on the study guide. Looking back, I realize something…the teacher did not intend for the study guide to be comprehensive. It was simply not possible to include everything from the required reading, class notes, and lectures. Such is the case with the church and marriage. I am grateful for the foundation the church gave me in regards to marriage. It was a good study guide. But there some things on the test I did not learn until marriage began. So, I am going to give you some answers to the test that some of you might not expect to see. I grew up in church. I spent most of my time with Christian people. I was told much about marriage. But these 7 truths about marriage I never heard in church.



1.) Sex is a gift from God. Explore It.

Make no mistake…God created sex. But through the years, God’s people have allowed Satan to steal this gift. Without a fight. I was never educated about sex…and I grew up in a Christian family. My framework for sex was built by my friends at school and the movies I watched. Big UH OH. I still struggle with enjoying the fullness of sex today because of the cloud of lies formed during my teenage years.

It is time for God’s people to take back the gift of sex. The lies surrounding it are ruining lives and ruining marriages. If you are married, let me challenge you to explore sex. Explore the fullness of it for the glory of God. Pray for sexual intimacy with your spouse.

Parents…it is time to stop allowing Satan to define sex for our children. Educate them. Start early. The average child is exposed to pornography at age 11. Eleven!! And many parents wait until high school to have “the talk” with them. At that point, you are not building a foundation for sex, but trying to destroy a foundation Satan has already built.


Church leaders…I am convinced of this. The situation in our culture today is too dire to allow parents to override you here. Talk about sex. If parents refuse to educate their children, then you do it. Do not let Satan beat you to the punch. A false understanding of sex is destroying our young people. It is destroying our nation. It is destroying our world. And we are doing nothing! Sex is a beautiful gift created by God for a man and a woman that have vowed to spend the rest of their earthly lives with one another. If you are married…open this gift and enjoy the fullness of it.




2.) There is more than one person out there for you.

Soul mates are made…not born. I am not sure where this idea of soul mate originated, but it is false. Maintaining a healthy relationship is more about commitment than perfection. Every person on earth has imperfections. And the reality is we could spend our lives with more than one person.


Tiffani (my wife) is not perfect. There are nuances about her that frustrate me. But I have realized these frustrations are really a result of my imperfections. I love her so much. And I love her more everyday. I am committed to her.

I meet too many young people that are waiting for something that is not real. “I just couldn’t marry her because she smacked her food.” “He just wasn’t the one…he had this weird twitch when he smiled. But I know my soul mate is still out there. I just have to keep looking.”

Or you might have just missed him or her. What if God does not want you to find a perfect person, but find an imperfect person that will draw you closer to Him? What if God desires you to marry a person with flaws to expose yours?

What if God wants to teach you the value and life found in committing to one person forever, not the exhausting pursuit of searching your entire life to find the perfect person?

Soul mates are made…not born.




3.) The first year of marriage is hard…really hard.

What have we done? Are we going to make it? Why is this so hard? All questions I asked myself many times during my first year of marriage. We were arguing. We were fighting. It was really hard. And every day I thought something was wrong. I thought we had a bad marriage. Nobody warned me about the first year. But take this as a warning…the first year of marriage is difficult. If you are in the first year of marriage and thinking about giving up…congratulations. You are now…married!

But let me encourage you…do not give up. Everyone struggles. You are not unique. Persevere. There are better days coming. Your marriage will get better. Do not walk out. If you walk out now you disqualify yourself (and your spouse) from years of joy. Stick with it.



4.) A spouse does not complete you

I hate you Jerry Maguire. You have brainwashed a generation of people to believe a lie. Spouses do not complete people. I bought this lie, and it wasn’t until I let go of any notion my wife could fill some void that I was able to truly love her. Until then, I was always frustrated. I expected Tiffani to do something she was incapable of
doing.

If you are empty, broken, or insecure, and you believe a spouse is the silver bullet to your problems…buckle up. It will be a bumpy ride. Only God can fill those voids. You will never be able to enjoy the beauty of marriage if your spouse’s job is to complete you.



5.) Marry somebody with similar goals, dreams, and passions.

Marry somebody that is a Christian, yes. But I would go even further. Marry somebody with similar passions and dreams. Now, I understand this breaks down at some point. People are not machines. No two people are going to want exactly the same thing in life. However, if you love foreign missions and your potential spouse hates going overseas, some tension will arise. Synergy is extremely important in a marriage. If your spouse has the same vision as you, they will understand your struggles and support your pursuits. They will encourage your walk. They will be empathetic. There is much power in two people living life with the same goals, dreams, and passions for life.



6.) Marriage is not for everybody.

Paul talks about this in I Corinthians 7. He tells the church at Corinth to remain in the situation they are in. If unmarried, then stay unmarried. If married, then stay married. He later says this… Even better? I never heard that in church. Maybe it is time for God’s people to accept the reality that God has not called everyone to marry. I have talked with young men and women that are so concerned with finding a spouse. It consumes them. And most of the pressure comes from…US. The church. Once a person reaches mid- twenties, we assume something is wrong with them if they have not married. They must have a terrible flaw.

“Bless your heart. You are almost 30 and not married? I know this must be hard!?”

Shame on us. I am worried many failed marriages are a result of people allowing the pressure of marriage to draw them into something God did not design them for. Marriage is holy and good, but it is also possible to follow Jesus without a spouse.



7.) The wedding day is a lie…don’t buy it.

I love weddings. I love officiating them. It is a rare moment where I get to make a divine proclamation that forever changes the status of two people. Powerful.

But in an increasingly individualistic, “me” culture, weddings create a potentially dangerous situation. “Every girl lives for her wedding day.” It is all about the bride and groom. Everyone looks at them. Encourages them. Congratulates them.

Many couples have bought the lie of the wedding day…it is all about me. But marriage is at odds with this mindset. A successful wedding day is one where everyone serves you. A successful marriage is one where you serve your spouse. The wedding day is a day where the spotlight is on you. Marriage has no spotlight. The wedding day is about saying a bunch of words that most couples never take seriously. Marriage is about putting the words into action. The wedding day is joyous and celebratory. Many seasons of marriage are about persevering and not letting go through the storms.

Embrace your wedding day. Prepare for it. Celebrate it. But do not make the mistake of believing the lie. After your 20 minutes of fame, the spotlight is gone forever. It is no longer about you (and this is a good thing…you will see).

[url=frankmatthewpowell.com/truths-sex-marriage-never-learned-church/]Source[/url]

ihedinobi2: Ever wish you had the answers to a test before you walked into the classroom? Maybe some of you did have the answers, but you better keep that to yourself. I took some really hard tests during my college tenure. An engineering curriculum will do that. And if you spent time in college you remember review days. The professor would walk into a class full of students (some of which I had never seen) and give some insights about the impending test. Miss review day, and it would be foolish to expect a passing grade. But it never failed. I would follow the guideline. I would study the handout. But on the day of the exam, the professor would put the exam on my desk…and there it was. A foreign formula or equation I had never seen. At least one I did not see on the study guide. Looking back, I realize something…the teacher did not intend for the study guide to be comprehensive. It was simply not possible to include everything from the required reading, class notes, and lectures. Such is the case with the church and marriage. I am grateful for the foundation the church gave me in regards to marriage. It was a good study guide. But there some things on the test I did not learn until marriage began. So, I am going to give you some answers to the test that some of you might not expect to see. I grew up in church. I spent most of my time with Christian people. I was told much about marriage. But these 7 truths about marriage I never heard in church.



1.) Sex is a gift from God. Explore It.

Make no mistake…God created sex. But through the years, God’s people have allowed Satan to steal this gift. Without a fight. I was never educated about sex…and I grew up in a Christian family. My framework for sex was built by my friends at school and the movies I watched. Big UH OH. I still struggle with enjoying the fullness of sex today because of the cloud of lies formed during my teenage years.

It is time for God’s people to take back the gift of sex. The lies surrounding it are ruining lives and ruining marriages. If you are married, let me challenge you to explore sex. Explore the fullness of it for the glory of God. Pray for sexual intimacy with your spouse.

Parents…it is time to stop allowing Satan to define sex for our children. Educate them. Start early. The average child is exposed to pornography at age 11. Eleven!! And many parents wait until high school to have “the talk” with them. At that point, you are not building a foundation for sex, but trying to destroy a foundation Satan has already built.


Church leaders…I am convinced of this. The situation in our culture today is too dire to allow parents to override you here. Talk about sex. If parents refuse to educate their children, then you do it. Do not let Satan beat you to the punch. A false understanding of sex is destroying our young people. It is destroying our nation. It is destroying our world. And we are doing nothing! Sex is a beautiful gift created by God for a man and a woman that have vowed to spend the rest of their earthly lives with one another. If you are married…open this gift and enjoy the fullness of it.




2.) There is more than one person out there for you.

Soul mates are made…not born. I am not sure where this idea of soul mate originated, but it is false. Maintaining a healthy relationship is more about commitment than perfection. Every person on earth has imperfections. And the reality is we could spend our lives with more than one person.


Tiffani (my wife) is not perfect. There are nuances about her that frustrate me. But I have realized these frustrations are really a result of my imperfections. I love her so much. And I love her more everyday. I am committed to her.

I meet too many young people that are waiting for something that is not real. “I just couldn’t marry her because she smacked her food.” “He just wasn’t the one…he had this weird twitch when he smiled. But I know my soul mate is still out there. I just have to keep looking.”

Or you might have just missed him or her. What if God does not want you to find a perfect person, but find an imperfect person that will draw you closer to Him? What if God desires you to marry a person with flaws to expose yours?

What if God wants to teach you the value and life found in committing to one person forever, not the exhausting pursuit of searching your entire life to find the perfect person?

Soul mates are made…not born.




3.) The first year of marriage is hard…really hard.

What have we done? Are we going to make it? Why is this so hard? All questions I asked myself many times during my first year of marriage. We were arguing. We were fighting. It was really hard. And every day I thought something was wrong. I thought we had a bad marriage. Nobody warned me about the first year. But take this as a warning…the first year of marriage is difficult. If you are in the first year of marriage and thinking about giving up…congratulations. You are now…married!

But let me encourage you…do not give up. Everyone struggles. You are not unique. Persevere. There are better days coming. Your marriage will get better. Do not walk out. If you walk out now you disqualify yourself (and your spouse) from years of joy. Stick with it.



4.) A spouse does not complete you

I hate you Jerry Maguire. You have brainwashed a generation of people to believe a lie. Spouses do not complete people. I bought this lie, and it wasn’t until I let go of any notion my wife could fill some void that I was able to truly love her. Until then, I was always frustrated. I expected Tiffani to do something she was incapable of
doing.

If you are empty, broken, or insecure, and you believe a spouse is the silver bullet to your problems…buckle up. It will be a bumpy ride. Only God can fill those voids. You will never be able to enjoy the beauty of marriage if your spouse’s job is to complete you.



5.) Marry somebody with similar goals, dreams, and passions.

Marry somebody that is a Christian, yes. But I would go even further. Marry somebody with similar passions and dreams. Now, I understand this breaks down at some point. People are not machines. No two people are going to want exactly the same thing in life. However, if you love foreign missions and your potential spouse hates going overseas, some tension will arise. Synergy is extremely important in a marriage. If your spouse has the same vision as you, they will understand your struggles and support your pursuits. They will encourage your walk. They will be empathetic. There is much power in two people living life with the same goals, dreams, and passions for life.



6.) Marriage is not for everybody.

Paul talks about this in I Corinthians 7. He tells the church at Corinth to remain in the situation they are in. If unmarried, then stay unmarried. If married, then stay married. He later says this… Even better? I never heard that in church. Maybe it is time for God’s people to accept the reality that God has not called everyone to marry. I have talked with young men and women that are so concerned with finding a spouse. It consumes them. And most of the pressure comes from…US. The church. Once a person reaches mid- twenties, we assume something is wrong with them if they have not married. They must have a terrible flaw.

“Bless your heart. You are almost 30 and not married? I know this must be hard!?”

Shame on us. I am worried many failed marriages are a result of people allowing the pressure of marriage to draw them into something God did not design them for. Marriage is holy and good, but it is also possible to follow Jesus without a spouse.



7.) The wedding day is a lie…don’t buy it.

I love weddings. I love officiating them. It is a rare moment where I get to make a divine proclamation that forever changes the status of two people. Powerful.

But in an increasingly individualistic, “me” culture, weddings create a potentially dangerous situation. “Every girl lives for her wedding day.” It is all about the bride and groom. Everyone looks at them. Encourages them. Congratulates them.

Many couples have bought the lie of the wedding day…it is all about me. But marriage is at odds with this mindset. A successful wedding day is one where everyone serves you. A successful marriage is one where you serve your spouse. The wedding day is a day where the spotlight is on you. Marriage has no spotlight. The wedding day is about saying a bunch of words that most couples never take seriously. Marriage is about putting the words into action. The wedding day is joyous and celebratory. Many seasons of marriage are about persevering and not letting go through the storms.

Embrace your wedding day. Prepare for it. Celebrate it. But do not make the mistake of believing the lie. After your 20 minutes of fame, the spotlight is gone forever. It is no longer about you (and this is a good thing…you will see).

[url=frankmatthewpowell.com/truths-sex-marriage-never-learned-church/]Source[/url]

PrettySpicey: Everything you wrote here is so true, Ihedinobi2.

Ain't no such thing as soulmates... whoever came up with such a brain-befuddling idea should be shot!

The first year is hard... and so is every other year that follows... WHY?... Marriage is hard work.... really hard work.

I got that wedding day crap from the beginning... yet was caught in it's web

And No.6 makes me think.... matter-of-fact I've been wondering on that for some time now... marriage is surely not for everybody... and not for me?

Hmmm

BluIvy:

Sir, you are robbing me here with your response. What you just said is what many ladies know especially Christian ladies in their thirties.I had already mentioned my understanding of the word which is exactly what you have explained in detail.

Where I challenge you is where you tell ladies who are clearly "hot and bothered" that marriage is not for everyone, without even sitting them down to understand the "bother".
The same bible says "seek and you will find". My suggestion would be advising them the right way of seeking Godly partners e.g. through prayer etc. Your interjection seems to be more discouraging and could well mean since you are not married at this point and time in your life forget it, God has decided for you not to marry so whatever is getting you all "hot and bothered" just suck it up and be a good Christian. This seems to me as you are more discouraging them and making them feel even more pressure and start judging themselves negatively. Hence my questions to your post.

Please re-read what you posted and see if it does not sound completely judgmental & final? I think its about time that the church should learn to teach truthfully and with compassion. What if all the number of people you tell this to opt for other ways to meet their needs because they are now hopeless and end-up falling into sin, while their God ordained partners are around the corner? Only if the waited upon The Lord just a little bit longer?

BluIvy:

Sir, you are robbing me here with your response. What you just said is what many ladies know especially Christian ladies in their thirties.I had already mentioned my understanding of the word which is exactly what you have explained in detail.

Where I challenge you is where you tell ladies who are clearly "hot and bothered" that marriage is not for everyone, without even sitting them down to understand the "bother".
The same bible says "seek and you will find". My suggestion would be advising them the right way of seeking Godly partners e.g. through prayer etc. Your interjection seems to be more discouraging and could well mean since you are not married at this point and time in your life forget it, God has decided for you not to marry so whatever is getting you all "hot and bothered" just suck it up and be a good Christian. This seems to me as you are more discouraging them and making them feel even more pressure and start judging themselves negatively. Hence my questions to your post.

Please re-read what you posted and see if it does not sound completely judgmental & final? I think its about time that the church should learn to teach truthfully and with compassion. What if all the number of people you tell this to opt for other ways to meet their needs because they are now hopeless and end-up falling into sin, while their God ordained partners are around the corner? Only if the waited upon The Lord just a little bit longer?

sunnyshayne: Only the married will understand what OP is saying.

olasmith10:

I as a Christian might end up bringing her to Christ.. or what do u think?

dagentility: I'm so happy because today is my birthday. Nairalanders show me some love. *winks*

chidyhels: Marriage is for everybody. Even if u are 50 just be patient, Ur right combo will show. I don't belv in soul mate

bigemmmybig:



n who told u dat its only d married?

tandj: Do not be unequaly yoked with an unbeliever is what is keeping many people single today,especially ladies.

Pls go back and reread ur bible very well.
Don't pick one verse like most of us do and give it a vague interpretation.

Pastors will tell ladies don't marry outside ur church,rather bring him to us.
Catholics will tell their gals don't marry non catholics. Infact,catholics case is the worst. Ur mum whom happened to be a christian mother(catholics know what I mean)is excommunicated from receiving holy communion and membership of christian mothers association(d inside caucaus of CWO). And since they value their membership more than their daugher's happiness, they will compel their daughters not to marry outside catholic church.
That's why we have so many of them littered everywhere.
Anglican, infact all d churches are very guilty of this.

So my question is, is marrying a christian outside ur church violating that so called verse"do not be .............

I pity gals that have fallen victim of this.
A man can afford to marry at 50yrs. So gals, go figure.

olasmith10:

I as a Christian might end up bringing her to Christ.. or what do u think?

Epathra: This topic has an amazing insight but cam someone please ask date1816 what we are supposed to make of his epistle and exactly how ΐτ̅ relates to the topic!

Jaygrl: Don't marry anyone with the hope of changing that person

dagentility: I'm so happy because today is my birthday. Nairalanders show me some love. *winks*

PrettySpicey: Everything you wrote here is so true, Ihedinobi2.

Ain't no such thing as soulmates... whoever came up with such a brain-befuddling idea should be shot!

The first year is hard... and so is every other year that follows... WHY?... Marriage is hard work.... really hard work.

I got that wedding day crap from the beginning... yet was caught in it's web

And No.6 makes me think.... matter-of-fact I've been wondering on that for some time now... marriage is surely not for everybody... and not for me?

Hmmm

disloman: Op!The topic of ur thread is misleading cos most or all d things u mentioned r told xcept u didn't go 4 marriage counselling or ur own marriage b iyawo poly bag.

olasmith10: am a Christian, but I lost interest immediately I saw marry a Christian...
what if u find harmony, love and trust in a non Christian?