CONVERSATION BETWEEN DAD AND HIS ANNOYING SON


Father: Son can u plz go buy me a soft drink

Son: Coke or Pepsi?

Father: Coke

Son: Diet or regular?

Father: Regular

Son: Bottle or can?

Father: Bottle

Son: 500ml or 1liter?

Father: Damn it !!!! Just buy me water!!!!

Son: Natural or mineral?

Father: Mineral

Son: Hot or cold?

Father: Im gonna strike u with a broom u idiot

Son: Stick broom or soft broom?

Father: Stop this u little animal

Son: Cow or pig?

Father: Get the hell out of here u bastard!!!!

Son: Now or later?

Father: Now!!!!

Son: So u gonna throw me out or not?

Father: Im gonna kill u!!!!

Son: With a gun or knife?

Father: Am gonna shoot u little bastard!!!!

Son: On the head or stomach?

Father: You pest!!!!

Son: Cockroach or rat?

Father: Bleep you!!!!

Son: With or without a condom?

Father: (Faints)

Son: Are u dead or sleeping?...

Bola, a 35 year old man, was driving in his
Prado Jeep with his friend, Tommy. Along a
stretch of a deserted road somewhere in Lagos,
the car suddenly jerked and stopped.
Bola and Tommy looked at each other. Bola
tried the ignition but the car kept spluttering.
He opened his door and as he got out of the
car, his foot got caught in his 'Agbada' and he
fell flat on his face, knocked out senseless.
Tommy ran to him and tried to revive him.
Bola was still breathing but he needed help
fast. Tommy squinted his eyes and saw a
signboard; 'GRACE HOSPITAL' up the street.
Tommy ran the few metres to the hospital. He
fell twice on the ground but managed to get
to the hospital, panting.
As he burst into the reception, startling the
Nurses, he panted urgently.
'Sir, what is wrong with you?' One of the
Nurses asked in alarm.
TOMMY: (Panting) ...Yeh..Bola...Bola...Bola...i
s...
NURSE: ( Screams) Ebola! He has Ebola!
Come and see how the Nurses, the two doctors
on duty, the cleaners, Matron, Security Men
and even a patient who had just been
operated on and was still groggy from the
anaesthesia, jumped through windows, doors
and balconies!

(C) Charles Novia 2014

Akpos and his wife laid in the bed,
about to sleep when his wife
quizzed him on where he was
during the day:

WIFE: You were reeking of feminine
scent when you came home, where
did you get it?

AKPOS: From the woman I was
squeezed with in the taxi.

WIFE: What about the lipstick on
your mouth?

AKPOS: Oh! I got it from my friend
Cynthia whom I was congratulating
for passing her exam.

WIFE: What about the used condoms
in your pocket?

AKPOS: Hey, leave me alone don’t
ask me silly questions. I want to
sleep.

WIFE: (crying) This is not fair at all!
When I use them, I don’t bring them
home.

AKPOS: (sitting erect on the bed)
What did you say?!

WIFE: Leave me alone I want to
sleep gud evening.