Just saw this hilarious post on facebook:

UNE 2014 EXAMINATION.

Time: 1hr 30 mins

Section A (Answer all questions, questions carry equal
marks)

1a) How many chibok girls were kidnapped and state d
reason for their kidnap? (20marks)

1b) The question “Na only you waka come was said by
who and to who? Why dis xclamation “chai there‘s is God
oo!(15marks)

2a. What are the names of the two people holding hands
when you switch on a Nokia phone ?(10 marks)

2b. If the past tense of Take is Took, what is the past
tense of Make ?(10marks)

3. Which university in Nigeria has the highest number of
ladies using blackberry phones?

4. If Buhari is a friend to Obasanjo on facebook, who sent
the friend request and why ?

5. if the cost of moi-moi is N10.50, what is the cost of
moi ?

6. Who ate the missing part of the apple logo?

SECTION B (Answer All. 10 Marks each)

1. Between the Nigerian police and Nigerian girls, who likes
money more?

2. Using the almighty formula, calculate the diameter of
elegushi beach. (take pi=3.142)

3. If Ada is a girl and Obi is a boy, who is Adaobi ?

4. If your X-boyfriend/X-girlfriend wins N50,000,000 on
who wants to be a millionaire a day after you guys broke
up, find the value of X?

5. If it takes Goodluck 1 hour to deliver a typed speech in a
national conference, how many days will it take Patience
to deliver the same speech on the same occasion?
Assuming the polarity of the audience is kept constant.

SECTION C (Answer 2)

1) Tuface was given a Prado and Ferarri on his traditional
wedding and white wedding respectively. There is every
likelihood that D Banj has gone ahead to print wedding
invitation cards without an available bride. Discuss
(20Marks)

2) Write a short essay of 500 words on 'My Oga At The
Top' (15 Marks)

3) What's the name of the lady that use to say "please
enter your secret number" at the ATM center of the banks.
State reasons why she was chosen and explain too (20
Marks)

NO SIDE TALK........................
Get all answers correctly.
Exam starts NOW!!
7 mins


1. If your woman catches you looking at
another
woman, turn to her and say "sweetheart, I’m
glad
youdon’t dress like that.”
2. Nigerian parents are confused. They'll beat
their kids with the intent of making them cry
and
then start beating them again to stop them
from
crying.
3. Guys, When A Girl Say You Are The BEST
MAN In Her Life, Don't Be Surprised To See
Yourself Standing Beside Her Husband On Her
Wedding
Day.
4. The downfall of A Man is when he Moves
From BBM to 2go.
5. Guys always complaining about girls that
are
looking for Rich
men, you sef hustle and be a rich man let girls
find you too.
6. Very soon mtn will be Like Do you know
there are people in your village that don't
want
you to succeed? Quickly text "thunder fire
them"to 33505.
7. if your boyfriend is like 10 years older than
u, just stop calling him baby. and start calling
him:
Uncle Bae, Brother Boo, Sir Baby
8. Those that use spoon to eat Eba are our
major problem in this
country.
9. It is only in Nigeria that you'll see a notice
board say "man
wanted with 40 Years experience, must be
aged
25
10. Being a good person is like being a goal
keeper, no matter how many goals u
Save...People
will only remember the ones You missed.
11. India has never been to the World Cup
because FIFA won't
allow them sing and dance for 20 minutes
after
every goal.
12. Girls please Your boyfriend should not be
your source of income everyday. Cos it's only
a
relationship, not a job opportunity.
13. someone will just die with an Afro in
Nigeria
movie and his spirit will come back with a low
cut.
So Barbing salon dey that side?
14. Strangling your wife for making indomie as
dinner is not domestic violence, it is self-
defense
15. How Can You Chase a GIRL for 4 Years.
Is she your University Degree?
16. New ways of crossing roads in Nigeria,
check
sideways 4 motors, & look up 4 plane-crash,
&
look down 4 bomb, & look back 4 kidnapp, and
now run zig~zig 2 dodge bullets

More...

more...

Our journey began at Genesis through Exodus. On the
way, we saw Leviticus recording
the Numbers of people at
Deuteronomy, while Joshua was
waiting at the beautiful gate for
Judges to see Ruth calling loudly "Samuel,Samuel" . At a
stage, the, first and second Kings of
Chronicles were coming to visit
Ezra, Nehemiah and Esther for
the misfortune of Job, their
brother. Then they noticed that
Mr. Psalms was teaching his children Proverbs concerning
Ecclesiastes and Songs of
Solomon. This coincided with the
period that Isaiah and Jeremiah
were engaged in Lamentation
for Ezekiel and Daniel their friend. By that time, Amos and
Obadiah were not around. Three
days later, Hosea, Joel and
Jonah traveled in the same ship
with Micah and Nahum to
Jerusalem . More also,Habakkuk visited Zephaniah who
introduced him to Haggai a
friend of Zechariah whose cousin
is Malachi. Immediately after the
old tradition, Matthew, Mark,
Luke and John got involved in Acts with the Romans who
were
behaving like the Corinthians,
who were also always at
loggerhead with the Galatians.
At that time too, the Ephesians
realizing that the Philippians were close to the Colossians,
suggested to the Thessalonians
that they should first of all see
Timothy who had gone to the
house of Titus to teach Philemon
his younger brother how to read and write Hebrew. On
hearing, James asked Peter to
explain to him how the three
Johns have disclosed to Jude
the Revelation of our Lord Jesus.Don't spoil d fun......pass
it 2 bro and sis.