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Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by delishpot: 1:24pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
All, this wahala sef. My advice society has no right to oppress anybody based on gender if a girl wants to climb mango tree with her brothers do not drag her down and remind her she is a woman. If she wants to do karate with her brothers, leave her alone and guide her or enroll her to learn. Women 99%of the time are made unable to do things because society cautioned them while growing up when they did something physical. They were conditioned to believe they are to be emotional beings, fragile and follow a certain path and if a woman breaks that rule she is considered guy or tomboy etc. And only those who are daring go ahead and do stuff anyway. Now. Same with boys. A boy in those days will be mocked if he decided to go into hair dressing or tailoring or catering. It was considered a woman's place men were expected to carry cement bags, use their brain and muscle not do simple jobs meant for common women. And so, if a guy breaks this rule, he is considered gay. And only the bold ones who don't care are brave enough to do it anyway. So marriage. Man is the head of his home. A woman with a bad husband is cursed already cos its like a car with a drunk driver who refuses to accept he is drunk and insists in driving the car. A wise husband is a blessing, very hard to find. He listens to the counsel of his wife and others around him. He considered the feelings of his wife and children before making any decision. He is kind and loving and firm in his dealings with everyone. To him being the head of his home is a privilege not a right. He understands that his wife is an individual with feelings, expectations and desires. He sees her as his support., his companion, his shelter, his best friend. He feels blessed to be married to her. He is happy with his home. He is kind to his children if he has any and dedicates time to tech them about life. He is always a good listener and takes time to think about things before reacting when it concerns his home. He considers his wife's feeling and moods, he is her strength, her support and shelter. A wise wife, is one who stands by her man, she knows he takes her seriously, she knows he has her best interest at heart with every decision made in the home. She doesn't feel oppressed or intimidated when he says No. He doesn't say no to her request to prove a point or boost his ego or prove he is a man. She let's him take the lead. She is happy to be is support, his shelter and pride. She tries to sooth his pain, she is warm at all times towards him. They may have arguments but she can't bear to be away from him for a day. She is a good mother, a kind neighbour and a calm listener. Yes it's hard being a woman but a good man deserves what ever effort you are putting to make the home happy too. I always advice women, learn to be his voice when he can't speak. Learn to let him be the guard, when he is in the mood. Learn to let him be the baby when he is in the mood. When there is love, this is romance. Men are kind when they love you. That is why some people believe in love before marriage. While some people not. To me which ever comes first, marriage before love the r love before marriage, there has to be love in that union for every step to be considered romantic. In a loveless union even Goodmorning dear can be irritating to the other partner. Men can be like babies falling at the feet of the wife for some petting and hair rub and then boom there is a loud noise, he raises up and transforms into a soldier, a fighter pushing his woman back and going forward to see what was that. To protect his home with his life. See? That is a real man. Now, the problem is men have abused this power or opportunity given to them through the years. They used this privilege to abuse their wives, families used it to sell off daughters to highest bidder, she has no right as a woman, after marriage she becomes a thing, no considerations for her emotional and physical being, it's all about pleasing her man and his family. If she is lucky when he dies she and her kids are given a room in the compound and a small piece of land is given her to grow some food. Men then realized well, if I give my daughter to opportunity to study, to earn a degree and have equal opportunity to earn a living like my son, she would not be so messed up if the unthinkable happens to me or her husband. So girls started going to school. Men on the other hand did not like the challenge it brought. A common woman now has the mind to challenge him. She can now argue that 2+2is 4, she can now tell him well! God said to submit to you but he also said you should love me like you love your own body. All because now she can read, she can now pick out his flaws and mistakes. Many men do not fancy this part. They still expected women to pretend to be ignorant which I believe is not possible. Why will I agree that black is white when I know it isn't. How can a good normal person expect one to agree to what ever is said even when it's clear he or she is wrong? Who ever expects one to just agree to what ever he says be it good or bad right or wrong is no different from idi amin or sani Abacha. Plus men and women these days don't know how to help for free unlike before. And also people have started abusing the help offered. Society in those days was not heavily dependent on money. Dibia healed the sick, poor people did not send kids to school, the majority of population did not need to be employed by someone else cos every one farmed to feed himself and family and did not need a degree to do that. Now it's different, money is the fuel that runs the engine of our existence. Education, medicals, food, shelter, going to work, etc etc. When the government does not provide the basics it's all man for himself. This is why men are quick to ask for $ex and women are quick to give it. Each one knows what the other wants. Even young boys now offer to satisfy old women for cash. If men and women can understand the simple equation as it pertains marriage, our homes will be happy. NB women are free people but if you decide to marry as a woman know that you have a role to play in that marriage too. But the society as a whole should not expect women to link a$$es of men anywhere and every where just because they are women and are second class citizens. 3 Likes |
Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by pickabeau1: 1:35pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
delishpot a long post but i cant get the thrust of your argument Are you saying that money is the cause of sexism I like your point on the importance of a caring husband population did not need to be employed by someone else cos every one farmed to feed himself and family and did not need a degree to do that. |
Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by delishpot: 1:41pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
pickabeau1: delishpot a long post but i cant get the thrust of your argument WWell not money per Se. But property, wealth, income. Be it sheep, cattle, army, war heads, weapons, etcland etc. Who ever has it has power over who ever doesn't have. So it's same all aspect of life. From gender, to cultures, to slavery. I was not fixed on the topic as a whole. I was just giving my view as it pertains how I believe the society should work. Esp marriage and also giving what is messing our society these days. No mind me. Just read and nodd at the part you like and ignore my off topic parts. Just delishpot's lamentation. This Nsobu Uwa Don confuse me. I am tired seeing how this sweet world is becoming evil and full of deaths, disease and pain. I Don tire. But o, the original post wasn't talking about $exiism per Se. It was talking about how men should act and how women should act abi Na expected to act in the society and home abi? |
Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by Nobody: 1:49pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
Phema: Its amazing how one word (feminism) keeps some men awake at night and causes them chronic indigestion, while "real men" are busy with their lives without a care in the world about some word and having the best of marriages. I love this comment, I would only replace the phrase "real man" by successful man. 3 Likes |
Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by pickabeau1: 1:52pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
Thats good You made a lot of points i accept though some are not totally factual now I see girls learning karate now and they seem to enjoy it More ladies are taking self defense classes I agree with you on the fact that he who pays the piper dictates the tune.. especially on racial issues The world is what it is...a lot of vices.. immorality, indiscriminate abortions, embezzlement and misappropriation of public funds, terrorist deaths... theres a very interesting thread on campus prostitution.. May God keep us Note : this is not limited to Nigeria only... globally there are issues... delishpot: |
Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by Nobody: 1:54pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
SAMBARRY: speak for yourself please, thank you Don't mind them. You no even see the user name. It should tell you something. Fear any username with names like, pretty, se xy, chick etc. Most of them are males, the others are dumb fellows who have nothing in their head but where their next mtn 400 naira will come from. At toppic, I dont even know what the poster is saying. The end sef na waya 4 Likes |
Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by Nobody: 1:59pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
Chillisauce: |
Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by delishpot: 2:02pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
pickabeau1: Thats good You are right. Women and men do things that back in the day they would not have been encouraged to do, from heading countries and corporations, to applying makeup and even outright gender change. And of course I know it's a global issue that's why I said it's sad when I see all the evils happening in the sweet world. Nna mehn make Jesus do come sef make we rest. 2000years Don do humanity to make a decision and choose which path to tread. Amen to your prayer jare. I watched some stuff on YouTube last night and it still getting at me. Chie I too sensitive OOo. 1 Like |
Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by Nobody: 2:04pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
carefreewannabe: how are you? |
Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by pickabeau1: 2:07pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
What did you see on Youtube I believe that its a matter of time Fathers train their daughters to be the best these days delishpot: |
Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by Nobody: 2:08pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
Chillisauce: I am fine. I hope you are good too dear? I have just been pondering about the "etc" in your post and I came up with many more examples but I will keep them to myself for now |
Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by Nobody: 2:13pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
carefreewannabe: Pls don't keep it to yourself . Your name is carefree so I expect you to lay it bare. |
Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by maclatunji: 2:16pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
OP, are you American in any way? Your opening post has "American" written all over it. I empathise with women a great deal but I think a lot of you are missing your way in the attempt to correct the ills of many men. You do not have to overgeneralise or deny that that there is a masculine and feminine identity attached to men and women. This does not mean that all men are thugs or that all women are smiling/blushing Sheilas (sorry if your name is Sheila) but the identities exist nontheless. And your adding the homosexual angle to it is just not helping within the Nigerian context. Please check the dictionary for the definition of a gentleman and a lady. Is there a difference? Why? |
Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by delishpot: 2:16pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
pickabeau1: What did you see on Youtube Watching videos about end time stuff. Saw corpses of kids. From Gaza to Rwanda and all those bombs and starvation. Not any particular one Sha. All in all the world is lacking kind and sympathetic people slowly. Was reading about a video that a gypsy couple were trapped in flood. People were recording it with cell phones and laughing and giggling while the two struggled for their lives. One guy jumped in to help but couldn't do it alone he had to give up and save himself. The rest were just filming till the two drowned and then they said ah, they are gone. Where are they? Hian, have we gone so low that we no more have instinct to save lives? I heard in India people hardly stop to help those in dire need. I am happy naija has not reached that stage Sha. But slowly we may get there. On one post here on naira land where they showed 8 people crucified by Moslem extremists one guy actually said cool! His reason? People die everyday so it's no big deal. That is how evil our hearts are becoming. No sympathy, no feelings. They are quick to spit on the corpse of a dead baby talk less of an adult that offends them. 2 Likes |
Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by pickabeau1: 2:20pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
Yes.. I agree with you 100% Our narcisstic-obsessed personality where we elevate self above others. Really sad Gaza is really sad Anti immigration riots in Europe Xenophobia Its sad delishpot: |
Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by Nobody: 3:29pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
Chillisauce: You are wicked. I will lay it bare when the right time comes. Just a hint for now, some of them begin with B / b .... |
Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by Nobody: 3:53pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
carefreewannabe: Beeevan, no! Bellong That's all I can think of. And both of them are correct fellas. Pls don't keep me waiting Say it. Say it. |
Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by Nobody: 3:54pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
Chillisauce: You are even more wicked than expected. I wasn't referring to the two you mentioned. Try harder |
Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by Nobody: 3:58pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
carefreewannabe:so the mantra is no more real men but successful men? Shifting goal post |
Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by Nobody: 4:00pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
carefreewannabe:don't mind that real man. All he and his ilk do is strample on their fellow man just to impress real men searchers. |
Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by Nobody: 4:00pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
eighTHREAD: so the mantra is no more real men but successful men? Shifting goal post What does "no more real men" mean? Have I ever subscribed to this "mantra"? |
Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by Nobody: 4:02pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
carefreewannabe:your body language does |
Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by Nobody: 4:04pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
eighTHREAD: your body language does And they say ALL men are logical beings 2 Likes |
Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by Nobody: 4:04pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
carefreewannabe: I can't think of any again. I wait on you then when you're ready. |
Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by crackhaus: 4:05pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
Olivia111: Our sexual identity is largely shaped by what weI tried my best to make sense of this, believe me I tried. Please come again for my benefit.. I've been real slow all day 2 Likes |
Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by Nobody: 4:07pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
carefreewannabe:prove me illogical, that's far better than insinuating. |
Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by Nobody: 4:08pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
eighTHREAD: prove me illogical, that's far better than insinuating. Can you see me? |
Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by Nobody: 4:09pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
Chillisauce: baby, babe, sweetbabe, prettybabe, s.ex.ybabe 1 Like |
Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by Nobody: 4:16pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
carefreewannabe:Yah. Those too . 1 Like |
Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by beeevan: 7:08pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
Chillisauce: |
Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by beeevan: 7:11pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
Chillisauce: Chilli pepper anything for the girls? How you dey dear? |
Re: My Problem With The Respect Shown To Men In African Societies by Nobody: 7:29pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
beeevan: Yo yo. Nothing dear. I was just looking for all the username that starts with B. How your squat exe going? |
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