@Coco

Your yesterday determines your tomorrow.  What you sow is what you reap.  Not everyone is liberal like you.  You have to know who you marry. Certain traits will surface years into the marriage and another story would be told.

Ivvie:

@Coco

Your yesterday determines your tomorrow. What you sow is what you reap. Not everyone is liberal like you. You have to know who you marry. Certain traits will surface years into the marriage and another story would be told.

sweetie what does being liberal have to do with love? in life we all make mistakes and we all want to be loved it is all about honesty and understanding, have you ever consider the fact that Nigerian woman are they way they are because of their men? From what i have read on NL if i was a nigerian woman and the men of my country prefer to accept lies than the truth i will do the same and deal with it later. It is all about KARMA honey.

we go hear about these relationships later.
many people make noise when they are in these relationships but they wont be singing the same tunes when those relationships go sour. They hardly ever work.

I am struggling to find 10 Nigerians who have been married to foreigners for over 15 years so I reduced it to 10 years and it's still not easy. Bear in mind that Nigerians have been dating and marrying foreigners since very long ago.

Most of the Nigerian I know are married to Nigerians, almost all the young Nigerian guys I know in the Uk, born here or in Nigeria took Nigerian wives or have Naija girlfriends. I know a handful who have married Caribbean or White, both successful and otherwise.

It really depends on your social circle. I'm in my twenties and the weddings of friends in the last five years, have all but two, been Nigerian men taking Nigerian wives.


So Noone needs to develop a false sense of superiority.

@Coco

Coco29:

sweetie what does being liberal have to do with love? in life we all make mistakes and we all want to be loved it is all about honesty and understanding, have you ever consider the fact that Nigerian woman are they way they are because of their men? From what i have read on Nairaland if i was a nigerian woman and the men of my country prefer to accept lies than the truth i will do the same and deal with it later. It is all about KARMA honey.

What would you explain of a woman that wasted her youth slutting around and can't have children anymore?  It isn't a funny path for the so-to-be husband.  That is an example.  There is a reason for a past.  When some people have wasted themselves, then they think about settling.  To be honest, I don't know of a man in his right mind that wants a "used" person.  Some don't mind but the truth is that she cannot be respected and worse trusted.  A few years back, one of my colleagues told me.  He would mess with as many girls as possible and when he's mid-30 to early 40, he'll go to Nigeria and get a village girl.  This is a nigerian-american that rarely has been home.

As per liberalism, before two families agree for the intended couple to get married, a family check has to be done.  A check for the number of deaths, abandoned marriages, abuse, madness and other tests.  It's been reduced to blind-dates.  I personally don't believe in love with respect to concealing corrupted or bad foundations.

As for men being crooked, there will be a time to pay. They just haven't grown up.  You'll have to reap what you sow.  You don't have to run games with them.  You are only leveling yourselve with them and then, they'll beat you with the experience they have.

typical:

we go hear about these relationships later.
many people make noise when they are in these relationships but they wont be singing the same tunes when those relationships go sour. They hardly ever work.

I am struggling to find 10 Nigerians who have been married to foreigners for over 15 years so I reduced it to 10 years and it's still not easy. Bear in mind that Nigerians have been dating and marrying foreigners since very long ago.

I guess you are right. I reside in Houston and many nigerians marry women of other tribes. Their family is a mess! When I say a mess, I mean a mess. To explain it to you in a civil sense, it's like a group of people living together in a harsh home. No union! The truth of the matter is that they'll have nigerians that they'll be "talking" to. It makes me baffled. There is just no peace.

I personally don't understand nigerians. Nigerians are easy-going and sharp-minded. The females to me are write-offs and wicked. They are also extremists. I am only generalising here. There are some that you know by morals that they don't deserve to be disrespected but they are few.

Typical, there are elements of truth in what you have said. It's not only nigerians looking for other races, whites don't marry their females, but go to asia and marry asians and bring them home. Their conclusion is that americans aren't women enough for their savour.

Ivvie:

@Coco

What would you explain of a woman that wasted her youth slutting around and can't have children anymore? It isn't a funny path for the so-to-be husband. That is an example. There is a reason for a past. When some people have wasted themselves, then they think about settling. To be honest, I don't know of a man in his right mind that wants a "used" person. Some don't mind but the truth is that she cannot be respected and worse trusted. A few years back, one of my colleagues told me. He would mess with as many girls as possible and when he's mid-30 to early 40, he'll go to Nigeria and get a village girl. This is a nigerian-american that rarely has been home.

As per liberalism, before two families agree for the intended couple to get married, a family check has to be done. A check for the number of deaths, abandoned marriages, abuse, madness and other tests. It's been reduced to blind-dates. I personally don't believe in love with respect to concealing corrupted or bad foundations.

As for men being crooked, there will be a time to pay. They just haven't grown up. You'll have to reap what you sow. You don't have to run games with them. You are only leveling yourselve with them and then, they'll beat you with the experience they have.

sweetie what you have just said belongs to another culture that i am soooooooooooo happy i am not involve in.

i marry who i want when i want and my mother and father can do nothing about it.

@ ivvie on a serious note you seem to care more about what those around you think, when they are not the one living with the woman.
like i said before unless my intended husband is gay i will accept the fact that he has change and is ready to start again. Life is the way it is because we allow ourselves to be victims to often.

Coco29:

sweetie what you have just said belongs to another culture that i am soooooooooooo happy i am not involve in.

i marry who i want when i want and my mother and father can do nothing about it.

@ ivvie on a serious note you seem to care more about what those around you think, when they are not the one living with the woman.
like i said before unless my intended husband is gay i will accept the fact that he has change and is ready to start again. Life is the way it is because we allow ourselves to be victims to often.

I was born in the United States and have spent more than half of my life in the United States. It is not culture but precaution. A man/woman marriage-minded would start with the intended purpose of making it a lifetime course by dealing with foundations. If you are a Christian, the book of Jeremiah details this and the bible should be every Christian's utmost authority.

I am not worried about what people would say. I want to do what is right. I don't talk much at all and I easily get irritated (irritated indeed). I am so not social and sometimes, I'm misunderstood. I have nothing to loose if anyone approves of it or not. It'll be a problem they'll create for themselves and have to deal with.

Marriage today is a practical joke. Nobody goes into marriage with the intention to have it last a lifetime anymore. People only look towards the marriage itself. People waste money in wedding ceremonies but never give to thought their plans 10+ years from their initial thought or point. It's just jump and dump!

Coco, you are soft-hearted and you may understand putting things behind you. That will not go well with me. When there aren't people doing likewise, why choose one that isn't your type? There is always a reason to tell about yourself or past and this clears all barriers and trust(s)' being built. I know you have heard of Naked and Not Ashamed? That is what it is. Marriage started from the bible and you have to fulfill that scripture to have a happy marriage.

@ Ivvie

being soft headed have nothing to do with my way of being there was a time when i thought i would never marry again for the reasons you stated however i realise now that not every one get the same start in life, some men and woman do things that they would not normally do but situation force them too. You said a lot in yr post and i am sorry that i went deeper than i should have however,


i am wondering if those are your words or were they internalise.

<sup>trini_girl (f)
Trinidad and Tobago
Posts: 694

Offline

 Re: Why Are Nigerian Men Attracted To Carribbean Women?
« #112 on: September 01, 2006, 01:41 PM »  

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Interesting how the woman defends the good for nothing man unjustifiably while he laughs because he knows the truth.

African men take their culture very seriously, so there is no way you can compare the African American, Caribbean or even Caucasian American man to the true African man.

They all have their own moral and cultural value depending on where they come from.


Which is why Nigerian men and women are the way they are.  

For the ones who choose to break free of this culture and do the right thing I am happy for them, and hope that someday I will be blessed to be friends with some Nigerians who do not prove their nature to be the stereotype that continues to plague my country.

Bless!</sup>

Trini_girl

You took your standards and judgements beyond it's limits.  There are certain few things that are true as life displays.  It's a different thing to generalise (but make reference) and another thing to write-off.  I personally don't like girls and I haven't dated any.  I am not into men or boys and detest homosexuality.  I have almost no interests but I don't go around saying they are bad or worthless.  I choose my friends carefully.  I also interact and take them as they are (as long as they are decent).  The truth is that I can generalise but it doesn't mean every single one of them would be the negative statistic portrayed.  There are some girls that I have met that I give complete respect to because they warrant it.  There are the rest that I don't even acknowledge.  I have reasons and I've been like this all my life but I don't write everyone of them off.  Ethically, it isn't right.  Give honour to whom honour is due.

As for the culture, it's something nigerians are proud of.  Today, many nigerians try to be western but the truth is that the westerns don't accept them either.  You cannot force your way of life on another.  You should have a culture in trinidad as well.  No culture resorts to slavery.   They identify with somewhere unlike "some."

Your friend may have been dealt with or played by a Nigerian.  D'you know who I blame?  The both of them.  It takes two to tango and from your posts, you friend was played.  Your friend (and that's if it wasn't you) has bad judgement to associate with corrupt eggs.  Birds of a feather flock together and not birds of two,   Meaning, that's her type.

Nigerians are intelligent and believe in looking out for those in their circle.  There's a virtue that I like; they are relaxed when talking within their dialet.  There's a lot of deceit also (no doubt) but the entire summary is that they aren't as bad as you have painted them.  There is no tribe or collection of people that are perfect or innocent.  As a matter of fact, there are certain practises that the caribbeans share with west africans.  You may not like it but it's true. Caribbeans may have seperated from Africa but the ultimate truth is that you are still African's.  You can paint it whatever you call it, but you are still Africans per principle.



Regards

@Ivvie

We go give you chance make you write dissertation put for this topic. .

Coco29:

@ Ivvie

being soft headed have nothing to do with my way of being there was a time when i thought i would never marry again for the reasons you stated however i realise now that not every one get the same start in life, some men and woman do things that they would not normally do but situation force them too. You said a lot in yr post and i am sorry that i went deeper than i should have however,


i am wondering if those are your words or were they internalise.

Coco, no don't be offended.  You did nothing.  I am just happier than normal today.  I wrote them in complete sincerity.  Nothing was subconscious and I did not take anything as an insult.    I just typed them all with a clear mind.  I only tried to make a point and stressed why a lot more precautions should be taken before making a choice of a lifetime.

I guess you see something that I don't see.  You have a point there though.  You are the second person saying the point you detailed.  I'll give it a deep thought sometime.  It's true no one is perfect but all strive to be.

khai_khai:

@Ivvie

We go give you chance make you write dissertation put for this topic. .

Khaikhai, don't vex but Trini was cold on that.  I didn't mean it to be like that.

all this talk about nigerians, carribeans, african americans whites, its all built from sterotype. we all have our convictions about different groups but we shud try and be open minded when we meet individuals from these places and get to know that without bias instead of pre judging them on their race or ethinic composition.

we all have our faults but we shud live with them and make compromises thats why we r humans!! and just for the record, u realli shud try and meet the educated and sophisticated nigerians, the ones u have the misfortune of meeting are rather the uncouth ones, i wudnt make excuses for anyone but i would say this much, am a nigerian and some of us can be a hell of a lot annoying and cause bad blood but the majority arent like that and the are rather nice people and who anyone gets attracted to is not a matter of whether or not his own country people arent goo enuff its just choice, like the saying goes, u cant choose who u fall in love wiv, i mean look at terrence howard who has never been wiv a black american woman but he's black doesnt mean there arent good ones, its just his choice, i even support people seeking love outside their spheres it brings harmony betwween different groups.

so we are attracted to Carribbean Women?

One, because of kitten.
Two, they have similar attitudes as Nigerians
Three. they are real and arent materialistic as other Africans

Cuz' they are damn too sexy and are less materialistic

Okay, honestly I browsed through this site and I was disgusted by some of the comments that was made.  Comments stating "Caribbean women are taking Nigerian men, " then the comments moved from Caribbean to Jamaican women. 

If a Nigerian man would like or prefers to date a Caribbean, specifically a Jamaican woman, so what!  There has been comments about Jamaican women bleaching their skin, I first heard about bleaching from an African woman, same goes for the "chicken pill".  There is so much negativity here towards my fellow Jamaican women its ridiculous.  No wonder why MOST not all, of our ambitious, handsome, family oriented and professional Black men are running away from their race and going to the white!  As Black women we envy each other, when in all honesty Black women are one of the most POWERFUL women! 

We need to just move on, if a Jamaican Man wants to date, marry, have a family with a Nigerian or Trinidad, or any other, what is the issue! vice versa.  Get over it and use that negative energy and turn it into something positive!

The answer to to this question is very simple. Because the Caribbean women know how to screw very well without reservation and they enjoy it. But the Nigerian women though know how to screw even more than the Caribbean women yet they reserve theselves and pretend they do not enjoy sex, so that you the man will not say she is a very spoilt woman. Men love good crazy sex, and so they go for what they want.

To the one person that said jamos give it to you raw how do u know have you been with ever jamo there has ever been? cultured my ass that's why there's so many nigerian prostitutes in Italy? the problem with african women they are sly a lot of them do things but pretend they dont like this girl i know that has smoked for 5 years but yet she hides and her husband and family dont know she does. So trying to make out your hollier than thou doesnt wash with us. To me thats the worst kind of woman you can have a decietful one

interesting debate, packed full of stereotypes . Well its abit silly to say we are uncultured because some women choose or fall into prostitution, mind you it is a job to me. We can not tie people all with one brush, so what if they sell their asses, we all sell our asses in one way or another carribean and Africans alike. Anyway its besides the point.

The reason i think Some Nigerian men are attracted to Carribean women could be some men just want to experience something different, whether anything results from it still boils down to if the two people are compatible and that has nothing to do with where you come from. I personally don't see any major differences in the two Africans /Caribbeans, i have friends who are so Nigerian in nature(whatever that is) it's like i have known them forever. There are subtle differences anyone here trying to paint a general image of both is really silly.

To all those nigarian men that think their better than carribean men which is questionable? how can you lot say you are better when half of you have said you only want carribean's for the sex and the easy time and you will marry one of your own women? So are you saying the ones that marry carribean women only marry them for the papers or they dont marry them for love? your no better than the jamicans you keep going on about, in all these posts ive read I havent seen a carribean man say anything negative about your native women that they only use them.At least with Jamaican men they dont decieve you know you getting an arsehole but you people your different? Most of you dont practice what you preach what a sad situration no wonder your motherland is in the mess it is today due to ignorance and narrow-minded people, By the way their are carribeans that wouldnt tough you lot with a barge pole because they dont preteend to hate sex their loose because they express themselves sexually their easy maybe you should teach some of your women to losen up in the bedroom then you wont need to come to us for us to show you what they should be doing for you. No wonder majority of the other African continents dont like you because your not genuine thanks for enlighting me, peace

hmm,
_{life is too short for alot of things we involve ourselves in},

Well some one almost said what im about to say. Nigerians are black the caribs are black, what is the issue? Do they have 2 heads? Black is beautiful no matter where u come from. What is all this hating?

"Why are Nigerian men attracted to carribbean women?" Hey poster. This is generalization. Were is your study findings to come to this childish conclusion?

@quinofhart

I wasn't sterotyping and forgive me if I offended you but the way African boys adress some of us carribean girls is so disrespectful? If they think we are so loose they must be lower than we are too want to sleep with us and than brag about it? am pretty sure if the Jammo boys were rubbishing your women in the same way you wouldnt stand for it? your right it is stero-typing but who's starting it? What did you want me do just roll over and take it in my culture women have a voice and we dont crap from nobody I havent got a problem with african men not loving or even liking carribean women thats their choice? and i dont think any carribean girls will lose sleep if they cant land an african brother? what i do have a problem with how-ever is the blatant disrespect shown by these men that are pretending to like a girl just cause he feels like she will give him a good time in bed and nothing else, without properly getting to know these women on a level. Its sheer ignorance and it show's how insincere your men can be,

FYI. Guyana is not part of the Caribbean, it is the only english speaking country in South America so they identify themseves with us. Look at your map of S. America.

We guys want what we arent worth,that is basically d problem!!!
Everybodi likes money, i can't possibly force a babe to love me.
Good girls are still abound in london but waiting 4 d right guys,
No sane girl will polish herself only to b hooked wit some guy who thinks he's serious with bleak prospects.
Dream no b by mouth,u act it,

Most of my friends r engaged to good n understanding naija babes n r happy together.

im still searching 4 my bone tho!!!

@originall post

Cos we all secretly want to bed Rihanna, and thats as close as we can get.
Hehehe,

Why wont Nigeria men be? Afterall this ladies are beautiful are are ready for real relationship. Not that Nigerian girls are not but they are sometimes not true to the guys. But true be told Nigerian girls are beautiful but they need to understand a feel our pain. For the Caribbean girls its mostly fantacy. meet Nigerians online on www.naijagurus.com

Because, in a nut shell, caribbean women are down to earth, not like our stuck up, i neva shit naija sisters, and a jamo girl will love you to bits, personally, i don't do naija women becos they are a pain in the balls!

I find it really offensive to hear the comment that caribbean girls(vague generalization) have something done to themseves or another. The fact of the matter is having something done is no stranger to one particular set of people as a matter of fact it is the No 1 surgery in the US. I believe that even naija girls do it too ( given finances allow). If you look at the Miss World and Miss Universe pageants, the caribbean has turned out some of the most beautiful queens unaltered.
Now am not dissing any woman from any country per say, but you will never hear a guy from the caribbean come online and dis their women.
To add to the Jamaican thing: each island in the caribbean has their own way of doing things, the islands more southerly of Jamaica are more toned down whilst jama. is more free spirited. Can you find a well groomed jammo woman or man? Sure, not all was exposed the the hardships as others and as a result they are more breeded.
Am dating a nigerian guy and what he hinted to me is that am not aggressive and don't like arguments ,am less materialistic and very family oriented. Now does that make a me a good candidate for a wife? U betcha! but only the man can decide what he really wants in the end. he has chosen to be with me not bcuz of sex but bcuz of maturity.