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An Open Letter To The Girl I Never Called Back - Literature - Nairaland

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An Open Letter To The Girl I Never Called Back by Nobody: 7:36am On Aug 09, 2014
We met at a W pool party, on Twitter, in line at
Whole Foods, wherever. Meeting you was a
precarious adrenaline rush (depending on my
blood alcohol content).
You were cute, you laughed at the stupid shit I
said and pretended not to notice that
underneath my façade of confidence was a fella
shuddering with the fear of rejection, knowing
that I was constantly being judged on whether I
was “cute, funny or rich” enough.
Men… we’re evolutionary hunters, some better
than others, so we press on with determination,
a propensity most of us process, disregarding
your imperfections while we show off our peacock
feathers in an attempt to garner your phone
number, Instagram or whatever kids share
nowadays to communicate.
And so it begins with the number exchange. I
set out on a perilous, but all-important venture
(we call courting), a daring, one-man expedition
against fearful odds of saying the right things at
the right time, making you laugh, picking the
right places for dinner, paying for every
overpriced meal, walking on the proper side of
the sidewalk among other things and ultimately
not showing too much interest (or else it’s game
over).
It’s a tedious plank to walk, and with one wrong
step, I’m overboard and you’re on to the next
guy who knows how to play hard-to-get better
than I did.
Ultimately my pursuit for your affection leads us
through the labyrinth of mind games (we’re both
guilty of) to the gates of your true emotions and
affection.
I see things clearly now. I’m no longer chasing
you anymore, you like me and I know it. I’m no
longer nervous and my confidence has a
backbone. Over time, I finally get to know the
real you, you see the real me.
Eventually your attention becomes exponentially
superfluous, and I begin to feel overwhelmed. I
secretly wonder, “How did I end up in this
situation, it’s like I’ve got a girlfriend or
something…” God forbid I ever use the “G” word
around you, as it would lead you further down
the pseudo-exclusive rabbit-hole I inadvertently
dug myself into.
If I didn’t make it official early on, the rest of
this story will take a few tangential paths, but
ultimately ending in you being hurt. Some exit
strategies involve just fading away, which I find
better suited to avoid emotionally-driven
reactions.
Other guys opt for the tactic akin to ripping off a
band aid, quick and to the point. Some may use
the same strategy, but at least provide her with
some reasoning behind it (which usually ends
with one last round in the sack or a slap to the
face, or both).
And there you have it, no more calls, no more
texts, we’ve been right swiping other girls for
weeks before we pulled this metaphorical trigger
or rejection.
But why the hell would we do such a thing? We
worked so hard impress you, charm you — but
for what? And how could we just forget all the
time we spent together? Well, it could be one of
many reasons.
Maybe you were vapid, maybe you were too
demanding, maybe you tried to change us —
who knows? Or maybe the overly confident, funny
and rich ones full of depravity have too many
options and you’re competing with a harem of
other ladies.
Long story short, when men are done, we’re
done. We’re a lot more capable of being
dissociative than women are during the end
days of a relationship and it frustrates the hell
out of you gals.
We know it, #sorrynotsorry. We evolved this way.
You on the other hand are more affected by your
instinctual need to be attached to someone
(even if he’s toxic for you). It’s in your biology
and why women are the gender privileged to be
mothers.
So, ultimately, you should remind yourself that
he was overly confident, or only “funny” and
“good looking” enough and you didn’t even
really like him that much to begin with.
You thought you’d give him a chance
reluctantly… right? (You tell yourself to justify
being denied). But whether or not he met your
high standards at the beginning or later on in
the relationship, you need to detach and let go
of him immediately.
Wallowing in an emotional pool of confusion and
self-pity will only distract you from the guy who
really wants to be with you.
You know him, the innocuous “nice guy,” the one
who doesn’t play games, the one who is man
enough to wear his feelings for you on his
sleeve. He dotes on you!
This guy won’t have a chance though as you’re
hurting over some toxic ass hat from before who
somehow played with your emotions just right.
By denying Mr. Nice Guy, you inadvertently
condition him to approach dating differently in
the future. No longer transparent, he’ll learn to
play the game, hide his feelings accordingly, say
what you want to hear and emit a façade of
confidence at first, but will always be reluctant
to show sincerity regarding his true intentions
(assuming he knows his intentions at all).
He’s evolved into “Nice Guy 2.0.” And one day
you’ll meet this “Nice Guy 2.0,” an intrepid man
who will say the right things at the right time,
and charm his way into your heart.
But ultimately, for various reasons, this
ephemeral relationship completes its cycle when
he suddenly falls off the face of the earth and
stops calling if that’s the exit strategy he
pursues.
The cycle of inevitable endings begins again,
further fraying away at the fairy tale of this
institution we call dating. It’s no-one’s fault,
but everyone’s fault that “dating” is a dystopia.
And it’ll only get worse before it gets better.
Happy Tindering.

source: http://ovonlenebhohimhen./2014/08/07/an-open-letter-to-the-girl-i-never-called-back/

3 Likes

Re: An Open Letter To The Girl I Never Called Back by coolest0(m): 7:48am On Aug 09, 2014
Nice one
Re: An Open Letter To The Girl I Never Called Back by irishCream: 8:11am On Aug 30, 2014
fabiano09:
We met at a W pool party, on Twitter, in line at
Whole Foods, wherever. Meeting you was a
precarious adrenaline rush (depending on my
blood alcohol content).
You were cute, you laughed at the stupid shit I
said and pretended not to notice that
underneath my façade of confidence was a fella
shuddering with the fear of rejection, knowing
that I was constantly being judged on whether I
was “cute, funny or rich” enough.
Men… we’re evolutionary hunters, some better
than others, so we press on with determination,
a propensity most of us process, disregarding
your imperfections while we show off our peacock
feathers in an attempt to garner your phone
number, Instagram or whatever kids share
nowadays to communicate.
And so it begins with the number exchange. I
set out on a perilous, but all-important venture
(we call courting), a daring, one-man expedition
against fearful odds of saying the right things at
the right time, making you laugh, picking the
right places for dinner, paying for every
overpriced meal, walking on the proper side of
the sidewalk among other things and ultimately
not showing too much interest (or else it’s game
over).
It’s a tedious plank to walk, and with one wrong
step, I’m overboard and you’re on to the next
guy who knows how to play hard-to-get better
than I did.
Ultimately my pursuit for your affection leads us
through the labyrinth of mind games (we’re both
guilty of) to the gates of your true emotions and
affection.
I see things clearly now. I’m no longer chasing
you anymore, you like me and I know it. I’m no
longer nervous and my confidence has a
backbone. Over time, I finally get to know the
real you, you see the real me.
Eventually your attention becomes exponentially
superfluous, and I begin to feel overwhelmed. I
secretly wonder, “How did I end up in this
situation, it’s like I’ve got a girlfriend or
something…” God forbid I ever use the “G” word
around you, as it would lead you further down
the pseudo-exclusive rabbit-hole I inadvertently
dug myself into.
If I didn’t make it official early on, the rest of
this story will take a few tangential paths, but
ultimately ending in you being hurt. Some exit
strategies involve just fading away, which I find
better suited to avoid emotionally-driven
reactions.
Other guys opt for the tactic akin to ripping off a
band aid, quick and to the point. Some may use
the same strategy, but at least provide her with
some reasoning behind it (which usually ends
with one last round in the sack or a slap to the
face, or both).
And there you have it, no more calls, no more
texts, we’ve been right swiping other girls for
weeks before we pulled this metaphorical trigger
or rejection.
But why the hell would we do such a thing? We
worked so hard impress you, charm you — but
for what? And how could we just forget all the
time we spent together? Well, it could be one of
many reasons.
Maybe you were vapid, maybe you were too
demanding, maybe you tried to change us —
who knows? Or maybe the overly confident, funny
and rich ones full of depravity have too many
options and you’re competing with a harem of
other ladies.
Long story short, when men are done, we’re
done. We’re a lot more capable of being
dissociative than women are during the end
days of a relationship and it frustrates the hell
out of you gals.
We know it, #sorrynotsorry. We evolved this way.
You on the other hand are more affected by your
instinctual need to be attached to someone
(even if he’s toxic for you). It’s in your biology
and why women are the gender privileged to be
mothers.
So, ultimately, you should remind yourself that
he was overly confident, or only “funny” and
“good looking” enough and you didn’t even
really like him that much to begin with.
You thought you’d give him a chance
reluctantly… right? (You tell yourself to justify
being denied). But whether or not he met your
high standards at the beginning or later on in
the relationship, you need to detach and let go
of him immediately.
Wallowing in an emotional pool of confusion and
self-pity will only distract you from the guy who
really wants to be with you.
You know him, the innocuous “nice guy,” the one
who doesn’t play games, the one who is man
enough to wear his feelings for you on his
sleeve. He dotes on you!
This guy won’t have a chance though as you’re
hurting over some toxic ass hat from before who
somehow played with your emotions just right.
By denying Mr. Nice Guy, you inadvertently
condition him to approach dating differently in
the future. No longer transparent, he’ll learn to
play the game, hide his feelings accordingly, say
what you want to hear and emit a façade of
confidence at first, but will always be reluctant
to show sincerity regarding his true intentions
(assuming he knows his intentions at all).
He’s evolved into “Nice Guy 2.0.” And one day
you’ll meet this “Nice Guy 2.0,” an intrepid man
who will say the right things at the right time,
and charm his way into your heart.
But ultimately, for various reasons, this
ephemeral relationship completes its cycle when
he suddenly falls off the face of the earth and
stops calling if that’s the exit strategy he
pursues.
The cycle of inevitable endings begins again,
further fraying away at the fairy tale of this
institution we call dating. It’s no-one’s fault,
but everyone’s fault that “dating” is a dystopia.
And it’ll only get worse before it gets better.
Happy Tindering.

source: http://ovonlenebhohimhen./2014/08/07/an-open-letter-to-the-girl-i-never-called-back/
oh oh oh...now I get where the defense is coming from shocked shocked so u sef dey type like dat! Nigga change thy ways! Didn't even read ur epistle jus had to quote u so u'll see my comment tongue

1 Like

Re: An Open Letter To The Girl I Never Called Back by Nobody: 9:22am On Aug 30, 2014
irishCream: oh oh oh...now I get where the defense is coming from shocked shocked so u sef dey type like dat! Nigga change thy ways! Didn't even read ur epistle jus had to quote u so u'll see my comment tongue

Can u plz nt cal me nigga? its derogatory n you knw it. i dnt care if u read d so called epistle,who send u go look my profile sef,e b lyk say u lyk tafia well well. Ur display picture says it all,i knw ur type,no b only irishcream.smh.

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