Hook:
Make it last forever
Come on baby, won’t you hold on to me,
hold on to me
You and i together
Come on baby, wont you hold on to me


I couldn’t believe my ears; this doctor definitely
did not know his job. He could mean me, he
must have it all mixed up. I couldn’t be HIV
positive, there was no way in hell it could have
happened. But even as these thoughts of denial
ran through my mind like a raging storm, I knew
it had to be true, there was this sad calmness to
the doctor that bespoke his years of having
experiences denials such as mine.

I broke down then and the tears flowed from my
eyes, my life was finished. My dreams, hopes
and lofty ambitions have all just been dashed by
the sad news. He came round to my side of the
table and patted my back as he handed me a
tissue to dry my tears. He began to talk to me
then, telling me about how it was not the end of
the world, I could live a normal healthy life and
be like every other person. It just meant I had to
bed more careful than the rest of the world and
use my drugs regularly and I would be fine. I
sniffed through my tears and managed a weak
smile as I thanked him and promised to report
next week back to the clinic to start treatment.
Through the drive back home, I kept on going
over and over through my mind where I could
have contracted the dreaded virus. I wasn’t
promiscuous as I had a fiancée who I have been
going steady with for the past year and we were
set to be married soon. Then it hit me, I couldn’t
get married to Chris if it turned out that he was
negative. No guy in his right senses was going
to marry an HIV positive woman no matter how
attractive and successful she may be. My fears
came back in full force and I gave in to the tears
as they clouded my vision. I wept as I parked my
car in the garage and went upstairs, heading
straight to the bedroom.

I lay there wondering what I was going to do
and if how I was going to break the news to
Chris. With shaky hands I dialed his number and
he could detect something was wrong
immediately he heard my voice over the phone.
His concern only made me all the more weaker
and in a voice that clearly betrayed my emotions
I said
“We need to talk Chris, come home straight
away.”

To be continued

This post was inspired by the song Blue by
multi-time Grammy award winning songstress
Beyonce Knowles. The song Blue is one of the tracks from her 2013 self titled album Beyonce.

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