RoyalRoy: They thought
me marriage is not by age.

They thought me love alone does not sustain marriage.

They thought me money is very very very essential in marriage.... Same level with good sex.

Finally... They thought me that a pretty face doesn't nessecarily make the best of partner..... A sincere and loving heart is what I should look out for.

Shalom.

bellong: Why not start by telling us what you learnt from your parents....

TribalEAST: I trust hoes; when the kids are around is when they'll make aggravating demands from you knowing you won't want to break this rule I think you'll break countless times. #never say never

zboyd: Children are constantly watching and learning from their parents' marriages yet some parents underestimate the power of modeling.

Kids are consciously and subconsciously recording what a marriage looks like and those recordings definitely influence and shape their view of marriage. When these children grow up, they model the best and worst relationship dynamics of their parents' marriages.

Some dynamics build strong, healthy, long-lasting marriages- others are detrimental- leading to abuse, unhappiness, resentment, separation and even divorce.

Keeping this in mind...when YOU marry...do you want a marriage like your parents? Why or Why not?

Which positive dynamics of your own parents' marriage do you wish to emulate within your own marriage?

Which ones will you NEVER, EVER implement?

If you are presently married, what are you teaching your child/ren about marriage?

What lessons are your child/ren learning from YOUR marriage?

bellong: Wow......

You learnt all these and you still show off like a male hater.....

Godmystrength: @zboyd - only you learnt ALL these? wow!!! that's superb o

zboyd:

Correction:

I HATE MALE BRUTES.

Don't you?

I HATE ABUSE OF ANY KIND- AGAINST ANYONE.

Don't you?

Question:

How will a wife and mother of four kiddos- married for over 20 years to a man hate men?

Nonsense!

Fkforyou: Always settle your matters privately as couples,I can't say that about my parent,never involve your children whenever you have disputes.
Ego can be dangerous,my mum always feels she has to be right all the time..but most importantly marry someone whom you can't live without infact marry your best friend.
Imagine having marrital dispute in the morning and yet he drops her at work and by 2pm she is calling to say hi,when he comes at night they act as if nothing ever happened....I've learnt never to take sides again.

bellong: I am sorry but your previous posts and topics say otherwise.

zboyd:

What I learned about marriage from MY parents:

- marriage will NEVER work, unless there is mutual respect, trust and compromise
- have each other's back at ALL times
- what goes on IN the house STAYS in the house - keep relatives out of your business
- keep the kids out of grown folks' business
- fight clean - not dirty - then kiss and make up
- husbands have bad memories when it comes to special days - use a BIG calendar and circle those special days in red and label them
- Valentine's Day is only ONE day out of the year - the other 364 are what really matter
- a family that prays together should also play together - all day churching is not necessary - Sunday is Family Day
- don't hold grudges
- husbands need their own space - just keep the door closed if he's a junkaholic and don't move ANYTHING
- wives need time away from the house to keep sane - so do husbands
- Date Night is a MUST at least once a week
- working too much can cause problems - try not to bring work home - Family Time is important
- "I love you"..."Yes, Dear"..."Yes, Baby, you're right!"..."I'm sorry"..."I apologize"..."...Do you need some help?"..."I was wrong" keeps down arguments
- don't keep secrets - they have a nasty way of coming out
- don't 'advertise' your husband - you might find a 'buyer'
- it's good to take short vacations with the kids AND away from each other
- you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar
- keep yourself looking good for each other
- compliment and flirt with each other - don't mind the kids' "Ewww...ya'll so nasty!" comments
- surprise each other with little gifts for no reason
- if your husband hates to go around certain relatives (his or yours), don't pressure him - just make sure he has some beer and snacks on hand and you and the kids go
- don't plan ANYTHING, when his favorite sport team is playing - just make sure he and his buddies have plenty to eat and drink and you and the kids go do your own thing
- don't ask your husband to go and buy your feminine necessities - he hates it - so stock up or go and buy them yourself
- if your husband says "We can't afford it" but you really, really want it, bribe him with his favorite dinner, a big bottle of his favorite drink and be dressed in his favorite outfit when he comes home - works almost every time
- give your husband at least one hour of uninterrupted 'HIM TIME' when he comes home from work - keep the kids away too - then attack him
- husbands aren't mind-readers - if something is bothering you - come out with it
- there is no sleeping on the couch - talk it out - no matter who has to get up in the morning
- friends shouldn't stay at the house ALL DAY LONG - learn to tell them when it's time to go home and mean it
- your house is not a restaurant - you can't feed everyone who comes through your door a full course dinner - especially if you have kids
- having 3 bank accounts - His, Hers and the House avoids fights over money
- your wife is not a maid- roll up your sleeves and help out around the house and that includes helping out with the kids and the cooking
- don't allow friends or relatives to bad mouth each other or your kids - if they continue - cut them off until they can control their mouths
- husbands and wives don't go to strip clubs or any other club - period - no matter what mutual friends may say
- no snooping - no eavesdropping on phone calls - no opening up each other's mail, etc. - that's an invasion of privacy
- be wary of women - single or married - who show a little too much interest in your husband - don't hesitate to confront them - immediately
- put up a united front when it comes to the kids...e.g. chores, school, discipline, etc. - kids can smell division a mile a way and will use it to their advantage
- husbands own the remote - deal with it - you may want to buy your TV to keep down fights
- husbands usually hate to go shopping with their wives - they don't understand going to six stores and then going back to the first one to buy something
- husbands aren't kids - so you shouldn't pick up or clean up after them - you do enough of that with the kids
- if someone snores - invest in a good pair of earplugs and/or ease out of the bed and go sleep on the couch or in the guest room

WHEW!!!

lol

Is that ENOUGH?!

zboyd:

bellong:

OK......I need not join you in exchanging insults. Maybe you need to read over what I wrote. "Your posts show off like a man hater" is quite different from direct accusation. And how has the rants here reduced abusive men in the society? If you care so much about abuse in the society, your crusade should first start against the female gender who are abusive- except there are no female abusers. If I were a BRUTE, it is nothing for you to worry about. At least the females surrounding me enjoy my abusive nature . Peace to you.

pickabeau1: Never believe everything you read online