Hi Nairalanders


Pls I need ur advice on diz


Straight to the point

I traveled to Ibadan last week with my daughter last Wednesday,came back today only for me to find a lady's artificial nail on our matrimony bed when I was arranging to room,I have not fix my nails ever since I got pregnant in 2012 till date,am so depressed now,my husby isn't back from work n I haven't ask him.

Am a very quiet person.

Pls how do I ask abt diz without causing trouble,am sooooo tried of all diz

I remember one time I travelled n I saw chew gum on my bed side locker,my husby don't chew gum n I ask him abt it he said he collected on from his colleague at work ..


Pls advice

Hmm. U have to ask him about it.. Don't continue to keep quiet about it. Let him know that u know..

Keeping quiet will only boost confidence in the act.

I think u should simply ask him, u can't base a conclusion on this. Whatever his explanation is u just be watchful.

Calmly ask him for an explanation and don't pretend to be okay with his explanation if you're not convinced.
Keeping it boxed up will put you in the wrong when it leads to something wrong.
As you can see, the first incident is poisoning your mind. He hold the key to resolving everything with his explanation.

He is reckless enough to possibly bring women to his matrimonial bed then he might be reckless enough to not use protection. Ask him and get tested

Ma'am confront him. Do not hesitate for a second. It's obvious he's cheating on you. Your heart is telling you the same. Don't be blinded by his cunning lies. And Yes, go for a medical check Up.

maborukoje: Hi Nairalanders


Pls I need ur advice on diz


Straight to the point

I traveled to Ibadan last week with my daughter last Wednesday,came back today only for me to find a lady's artificial nail on our matrimony bed when I was arranging to room,I have not fix my nails ever since I got pregnant in 2012 till date,am so depressed now,my husby isn't back from work n I haven't ask him.

Am a very quiet person.

Pls how do I ask abt diz without causing trouble,am sooooo tried of all diz

I remember one time I travelled n I saw chew gum on my bed side locker,my husby don't chew gum n I ask him abt it he said he collected on from his colleague at work ..


Pls advice

You've got deeper issues than you're letting on.

What makes you think that by asking him, you'll be causing trouble? And why are you afraid of asking him to explain an event that's obviously eating away at your heart and soul?

You're tired of all this. Tired of what exactly? How long have you been married for?

EfemenaXY:

You've got deeper issues than you're letting on.

What makes you think that by asking him, you'll be causing trouble? And why are you afraid of asking him to explain an event that's obviously eating away at your heart and soul.

You're tired of all this. Tired of what exactly? How long have you been married for?

I know he is a cheat a chronic one self datz y I said "I should go straight to d point"

I am tried cos bringing girls to d house is height of all his bullshit


Our marriage is a year n half

maborukoje:

I know he is a cheat a chronic one self datz y I said "I should go straight to d point"

I am tried cos bringing girls to d house is height of all his bullshit


Our marriage is a year n half

Okay.

Was he a chronic womanizer before you married him? Or is this something he suddenly got into after your marriage to him? If yes, then what's caused this sudden change in personality?

Op, talk to your husband immediately. ..don't wait till he infects you with a STD...

I tire for some men shaaa, outside no do you, na to bring women inside your own bedroom on your matrimonial bed...smh

Op, why not come straight and ask your husband what he finds in other women outside that can't be found in you...ask him if there's anything you are not doing right....talk with him....

Your marriage is only a yr+ and this is already happening or was he like this even before marriage? ?

@poster if its got to the point there there is blatant disrespect to the point where he is bringing girls home into your bed, then you need to do something and fast too before you are infected with something nasty.

Do you still have the nail? I hope you didnt throw it away.

You need to have a deep heart to heart talk to him about things and you need to ask him what he wants. He cant have his cake and eat, it. He either is married and behaves like a married one, or he remains single in which case if he likes he can bring 20 women home at oncel thats his problem.

You too also have to take a step back and work out where things may have gone wrong either before you got married or after you got married and be honest to yourself. If he was like this before you married him and this is just a continuation of his ways, then it may take time for him to suddenly give up his past attitudes of which if you do decide to stay with him through his rehabilitation, you must ensure that you are safe at all times. There are a lot of nasty STD's out there.

I also suggest that you ask him why he is doing this, just in case you have missed something.

Whatever you do, make sure that you are thinking about the well being of you and your daughter and you owe it to yourself to deal with this and not be afraid to bring it to the open.

And stop thinking that you are causing trouble. He is the one causing trouble. If he wasnt ready to give up his harem, then he should have remained single.

There is nothin wrong in asking questions ooo. Abeg ask him wen u guys are on the bed abt to slip... na with style u go ask b4 showing him ur evidence . But I believe sumtin is wrong sumwer since u said dis is not his first tym.

maborukoje: Hi Nairalanders


Pls I need ur advice on diz


Straight to the point

I traveled to Ibadan last week with my daughter last Wednesday,came back today only for me to find a lady's artificial nail on our matrimony bed when I was arranging to room,I have not fix my nails ever since I got pregnant in 2012 till date,am so depressed now,my husby isn't back from work n I haven't ask him.

Am a very quiet person.

Pls how do I ask abt diz without causing trouble,am sooooo tried of all diz

I remember one time I travelled n I saw chew gum on my bed side locker,my husby don't chew gum n I ask him abt it he said he collected on from his colleague at work ..


Pls advice

Don't come here looking for advice oh.
Ask your real life friends.
Nairaland didn't attend your wedding .

If you have the money, mount a surveillance cam and travel again, ask your questions with that. Confronting a man without a hard core evidence is only when you want to listen to lies that you secretly want to hear. Get your evidence and dump it on him, maybe you guys can talk after that. Protect yourself please, very unfortunate.


Some men ooooo!! Tufiakwa!!

You already know the possibilities.
Take them or LEAVE!
Simple.

Cause trouble kwa?? Na wa oh.
Ask him but you already seem to know the answer hence your fear.

Did you have to fight other women to marry him? Tolerate cheating and turn a blind eye? Did it start after marriage?

I dont know what advice to give seeing you are already afraid of asking for clarification as it seems you have accepted this as a standard hence the not "wanting trouble"

maborukoje:

I know he is a cheat a chronic one self datz y I said "I should go straight to d point"
I am tried cos bringing girls to d house is height of all his bullshit
Our marriage is a year n half

What have you been doing about that? Or did you just "wake up" now that he has started bringing them home and "in your face"?

Ask him for an explanation. I'm very sure he will deny anyways. In the end, it's your decision whether to walk or stay and manage the situation. It may or may not get better. No guarantees.

Please do go for a medical work up and protect yourself from STIs.

If anything, your child needs you alive.

Haaa!! Some men are just heartless! Why sleep with a woman who is not your wife on your matrimonial bed? Jeeez!!

@op,please confront him fast fast before he infects you with disease or else.....you're on a very long thing!

MarvellousGod: Op, why not come straight and ask your husband what he finds in other women outside that can't be found in you...ask him if there's anything you are not doing right....talk with him....

Your marriage is only a yr+ and this is already happening or was he like this even before marriage? ?

Are you serious?

Phema:

What have you been doing about that? Or did you just "wake up" now that he has started bringing them home and "in your face"?

This is exactly what I've been implying without wanting to spell out the words to @OP.

That aside, this thread is fake. I do not for one second believe the tale the suddenly absentee @OP is trying to spin us. She's been playing cat and mouse with her marriage even though very visible cracks have been on the wall.

Rather than deal head on with the issue, she's applied the usual clap-trap Nollywood advice. I mean, just take a look at this post of hers:

maborukoje: God I am still laughing.
She told me the story hard to believe but it is true.
My husband went to Nigeria and packed the car at the airport, he texted me where he pack, car locked because I have spare key, ticket on the dash board.
Few minutes later he texted me that his friend will come and get the spare key from me because he did not want me to be stressed but Kunle his friend called me to see me over the weekend. When I calculated how much we were going to pay by the weekend he was going to get the car, I went to pick the car.
You will not believe a girl left her phone in his car. I scroll through the phone to see love messages and nudes pictures so I help moved the car to most expensive area in the Airport parking and kept the phone. When he spoke to me I told him I brought the car home, he asked me if I find anything in the car, when I asked him like what he said nothing to be worried about. His phone was always switched off so I did not want to kill myself so I stopped calling his number.
3 day before his return he called me to help him take the car to Airport I later sent him where I packed his car but I changed all pin codes to his account and mine.
When he got to the Airport he could not pay all the charges came home in a cab. When he got home he did not speak to me, he went with Kunle to pick the car. He is being miserable for 5 days now.
WHAT DID I DO WRONG?.

Please ladies in the house, I know I have no sense of humour, but what sane woman, finding love messages on her husband's phone would keep the phone for days and be laughing about it? She opens up the post with the statement: God I'm still laughing.

Is this meant to be funny? Rather than tackle the issue at hand, she chose to sweep it under the carpet and pretend (hoping the issue would disappear?) Now she's done pretending, she asks what she did wrong?

Marriage these days must be child's play, methinks...

OP, you've got trouble in your home. A chronic womanizer is a chronic liar. Got test yourself for STI's, stay action on sex with him for now while you confront him.
You need more than explanations to deal with this issues. Any man who can sleep with other women in his matrimonial bed is worse than EVD.
Go beyond talking to him and notify your in-laws and your parents as well so as to alert them on the dangers your spouse has exposed you to.
Above all, pray fervently and ceaselessly.
God help you.

EfemenaXY:
This is exactly what I've been implying without wanting to spell out the words to @OP.
That aside, this thread is fake. I do not for one second believe the tale the suddenly absentee @OP is trying to spin us. She's been playing cat and mouse with her marriage even though very visible cracks have been on the wall.
Rather than deal head on with the issue, she's applied the usual clap-trap Nollywood advice. I mean, just take a look at this post of hers:
Please ladies in the house, I know I have no sense of humour, but what sane woman, finding love messages on her husband's phone would keep the phone for days and be laughing about it? She opens up the post with the statement: God I'm still laughing.
Is this meant to be funny? Rather than tackle the issue at hand, she chose to sweep it under the carpet and pretend (hoping the issue would disappear?) Now she's done pretending, she asks what she did wrong?
Marriage these days must be child's play, methinks...

My speculation was right, she must have fought all them girls to marry him and so she is okay to keep fighting and fighting, she just needs more cheer leaders to edge her on.

Goodluck poster.

soulglo:

Are you serious?

Yes, I'm serious. .

If the man suddenly changed, then something is wrong. ...they need to talk because the op seems to be scared of talking to him..

EfemenaXY:

This is exactly what I've been implying without wanting to spell out the words to @OP.

That aside, this thread is fake. I do not for one second believe the tale the suddenly absentee @OP is trying to spin us. She's been playing cat and mouse with her marriage even though very visible cracks have been on the wall.

Rather than deal head on with the issue, she's applied the usual clap-trap Nollywood advice. I mean, just take a look at this post of hers:



Please ladies in the house, I know I have no sense of humour, but what sane woman, finding love messages on her husband's phone would keep the phone for days and be laughing about it? She opens up the post with the statement: God I'm still laughing.

Is this meant to be funny? Rather than tackle the issue at hand, she chose to sweep it under the carpet and pretend (hoping the issue would disappear?) Now she's done pretending, she asks what she did wrong?

Marriage these days must be child's play, methinks...

Oh dat post did u read from d beginning,I said a friend not my story




Thanks all for ur advice


But to be candid when we were dating he ve high respect for me,I never caught him wit another girl or see any traces of cheating when we were courting it all started when I got pregnant...he change totally I never force him to marry me he did it willingly.

maborukoje:
Oh dat post did u read from d beginning,I said a friend not my story
Thanks all for ur advice
But to be candid when we were dating he ve high respect for me,I never caught him wit another girl or see any traces of cheating when we were courting it all started when I got pregnant...he change totally I never force him to marry me he did it willingly.

Okay so what is the issue now? You dont want to ask him who has the nails why?
You mentioned you had other issues in the past, is that how you want to keep living?
What kind of advice are you hoping for? Ignore, fast and pray? Sorry I am a bit lost

my advise is not needed afterall.

maborukoje:

Oh dat post did u read from d beginning,I said a friend not my story

Thanks all for ur advice

But to be candid when we were dating he ve high respect for me,I never caught him wit another girl or see any traces of cheating when we were courting it all started when I got pregnant...he change totally I never force him to marry me he did it willingly.

People do not change over night like that.

How long did you date / court for? The way I see it, it's either he pretended to be what he was not (i.e: pulled the wool over your eyes), with you choosing not to look carefully and spot the signs, OR, something much deeper must have happened and he used your pregnancy as a cover up excuse...

So which is it?

aisha2:
Okay so what is the issue now? You dont want to ask him who has the nails why?
You mentioned you had other issues in the past, is that how you want to keep living?
What kind of advice are you hoping for? Ignore, fast and pray? Sorry I am a bit lost

I tire for some women, I tell you.

@Maborukoje: Pls answer Aisha's question, so we know how to tailor our advice (if any), to you.

My friend just left her marriage of less than a year
Whenever she is on call at work the hubby brings girls over for the night
She kept hearing from neighbours but wanted to be sure
She installed a cam and watched everything herself
Am not saying walk out of your marriage but that part of bringing women into your own home is totally disrespectful and not until you play him a video of him in the act,he would never stop

MzJackBaueress: Haaa!! Some men are just heartless! Why sleep with a woman who is not your wife on your matrimonial bed? Jeeez!!

Would it have been less heartless if he slept with the woman but not on their matrimonial bed? Just curious.

EfemenaXY:

People do not change over night like that.

How long did you date / court for? The way I see it, it's either he pretended to be what he was not (i.e: pulled the wool over your eyes), with you choosing not to look carefully and spot the signs, OR, something much deeper must have happened and he used your pregnancy as a cover up excuse...

So which is it?



I tire for some women, I tell you.

@Maborukoje: Pls answer Aisha's question, so we know how to tailor our advice (if any), to you.

I agree that a person does not change overnight but it might also be this long suffering attitude of hers that let the man think he could get away with playing games right under her nose. Maybe the first time he explained away the gum and she bought it he subconsciously registered that she would be the type who would not confront it head on but live a lie. That is usually the go ahead most people need to continue bad behavior. If he could bring women into their home it is almost unthinkable what he does outside of the home. Most men would pee their pants if their wives even suspected that they were bringing women to their home. This one was not phased and continued. I definitely agree that she is not the type that faces her problems head on. In fact I bet while she was away she was thinking about how she would get home and search until she finds proof and then sit on the proof. I am sure she combed that bed for the fingernail. That for her is more empowering than asking her husband head on if he has been giving her p3nis away