When Davido’s voice filled our radio and television airwaves with the release of his hit single “Aye’ crooning lyrics about a dream girl that is not interested in all the material things he could offer her but rather she just wants his love, I am very sure he wrote those lyrics without Unilag girls in mind.

A Unilag Babe might truly not be asking you to buy her Ferrari, obviously they are not crazy enough to ask a guy that is still making use of the oldest locomotive ever invented, the Leggediz Benz Infinity to get her a Ferrari. Rather than asking for designer bags and shoes, expensive jewelries, perfumes and the likes, she can easily come down to your level and help you spend the little change in your pocket. Musician Kaycee has opened their eyes with his monster hit track “Limpopo” when he kept on hammering on being ‘a maga tonight.’ It takes only a real bimbo not to know that all the boutiques and jewelry stores are closed at night, ultimately that means she is going to end up in a club for the night and after feeding her with alcohol, she would end up in his bed. Who then is the real maga?

Having wisened to this tactic, the babes are smarter now and instead of asking you for Ferraris or designers, you will fall prey to buying them chicken and chips. A point in their favour is that the said chicken and chips are less cheaper costing about N500 for half chicken and a full chicken goes for a thousand naira. Every guy wants to impress his babe so getting her food comes into play. Unilag babes are highly reputed for their sophistication, posh backgrounds and refined attitudes which accounts for why they would not dine on our native cuisines like amala, pounded yam with better soup that costs lesser than chicken and chips. If you think you are smarter than these babes and you can wriggle your way out of it, OYO (on your own) for you o. The chicken and chips sellers are scattered all over campus with at least one strategically placed in the frontage of the hostel. With the presence of close to six banks in the school premises, there are more than enough ATMs to help in the task of reducing your bank account balance.

Usually I watch from the safe distance of my Sodeinde Hall frontage as the fat girls practically drag their less robust male victims to Access Bank which has about five ATMs patiently waiting to cough out cash. I might have written fat girls but the skinny ones aren’t left out of this. However, with Iyanya’s debut of his chart topping song “Lekwa Ukwu” and Egbiri Papa Number One of Bayelsa, Timaya’s smashing song, “Ukwu”, there has been a crazed frenzy for females with big ukwus. I would watch with a smile on my face as the girls squeal happily and point to the biggest chickens as their choice while the ones with gluttonous appetites try to score an extra pack either for themselves or for their friends back in the hostel. While a guy is considered a sharp guy by the number of girls he scores, the babes rate on the ratio of chicken and chips you get guys to buy you.

The poor guys would usually go back to their hostel rooms complaining bitterly about their girlfriends or their side chicks love for chicken and chips with their finances usually being the one to suffer for it. I remember the day my roommate, Gbenga Odola, a 200 hundred level student of Fisheries came into the room complaining of how he had had to part with N2000 to buy two packs of chicken and chips for his girlfriend, Yemi and her friend. I dare not forget the hilarious case of Sylvester Bernard, a next door neighbor who had come to my room to ask for cassava flakes fondly called garranium sulphate (garri), he lamented on how he had taken fancy to a cute girl and before she agreed to release her phone number she had demanded a bribe of chicken and chips. The poor guy to save face and retain the girl’s attention had had to let go of his dinner money

Somebody out there please do answer my question, why have these girls forgotten so quickly singer Omawumi’s “Maga No Need Pay”? Perhaps we need to play Waje’s sonorous song of “One Naira” in which she crooned “Whether na one naira, whether na one million, baby you got me” in her song.




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Duh! na by force? Nice write-up though...btw, na only look you dey look?

NICE write up...