I would like to share a write up from Truly Faithful page on facebook. A Christian couple that have a facebook page

"THE IMPERFECTIONS OF MARRIAGE!" ~ PAV

Many times God will use the imperfections of your spouse to perfect an imperfection in you. Did you all catch that? Let me say it again. Many times, God will use the imperfections of your spouse to perfect an imperfection in you. Let me explain.

In my marriage, my wife hardly ever apologized first. It didn't matter if she was the one who was originally at fault, in the end, I always apologized first and this drove me to be angry with her many times. I remember several arguments in the past where I would have to apologize first in order for the argument to end. Then I would bring up to my wife how yet again, I had to apologize first and she would always bypass my complaint. It finally got to a point that I started complaining to the Lord about my wife. Well, I was tired of it so I asked the Lord, "Why do I ALWAYS have to be the one who apologizes first? Why can't she just admit she is wrong and apologize? Is that so hard? I can do it, so can she"! But the Lord would always show me something about me! I didn't understand. There I was coming to the Lord about her yet He was showing me something about me. So what was my response? "But what about HER? Why won't you change her"? And that is when He made it clear that He wanted to change ME! It was frustrating to keep going to God about changing my wife and getting that He wanted to change me but, I eventually realized what God was doing. He was in fact working on me.

God showed me that He wanted me to stop complaining about my wife and PRAY FOR HER in that area! He wanted me to stop complaining to her about her and pray with her more. He wanted me to keep apologizing and stop keeping count. If I was wrong I needed to apologize but if she was wrong, I needed to stop expecting her to apologize and forgive her anyway. Doesn't seem fair does it? It doesn't seem fair that my wife, as a believer, could not apologize first to me, her husband. Here we are as two believers in a Godly marriage and I had to forgive her whether she apologized to me or not. Not fair at all. But I didn't get married for everything to be fair in my marriage. I married to be the Christ-like husband I was called to be and apart of that meant that I would not be weary in well doing.

So what did I learn? I learned that to do good is good, so why should I get weary? If I'm doing God's laws, I should have peace and joy that I am obeying Him and pray for my wife if she is disobeying Him. That does not mean I don't tell my wife what's on my heart, it just means I don't beat her over the head with her flaws and throw my good deeds in her face by constantly reminding her of what she's not doing while telling her the good I am doing. Did any of you catch that?

It is not for spouses to parade their good deeds in each other's faces. "I always apologize to you but you never apologize to me" or "I always do this but you never do that" or "At least I do this because you don't even do that"! Because what good will that do? Is that building your spouse up in their area of weakness? Is that putting your spouse above yourself? Is that doing all you can to live at peace with your spouse? No. Doesn't mean I can't share my frustrations or dislikes with my wife, it simply means I DON'T HOLD IT AGAINST HER and treat her as such. No, I just keep doing what I am supposed to do because remember, I and I alone will have to stand before the Lord on how I treated the wife He gave me when this life is over.

I have learned and I am still learning that when my wife has an imperfection and it bothers me, that God is going to use her imperfection to perfect an imperfection in me. So now I just prepare for Him to work on me. You can't tell people you're a work in progress and remain the same because a work in progress has NOTICEABLE PROGRESS not stagnation!

In the end, I stopped complaining about my wife and began to pray for her more. I stopped telling her how I always apologize first and kept apologizing first anyway. My attitude changed from complaining about her imperfection to asking God to perfect me in my imperfection towards her imperfection. Did you catch that? LOL! And God began to work.

A few years ago, my wife and I had a disagreement and I thought lightening flashed when she said, "I'm sorry"! I was literally shocked because she said it FIRST! Just as I was about to joke about her being first to apologize, the Holy Spirit tugged at my spirit that now was not the time to joke. And do you know why? Because God was at work in her life. Just as she was apologizing, the Lord began to show me that apologizing was not easy for my wife so for her to apologize first meant that God was not only working on her, but He was also ANSWERING MY PRAYERS! And ain't no time for joking when the Lord is working and answering prayers at the same time. Isn't God awesome? He was delivering my wife and answering me at the same time. Nobody but GOD can do that!! Now I will be honest, it took many times in between for her to make apologizing a habit but TODAY, she will apologize when she is wrong and many times she is first to do so.

The point I'm making is this..many times, our spouse's imperfections are because of a struggle within them that God has been trying to work out in them for the longest of times. My wife confessed to me how in bondage she was to "being right" so apologizing was hard, even as a believer. And that goes to show you no marriage is perfect, not even a marriage of believers.

Like my wife said in a previous post entitled "CALLED TO LOVE FOR LIFE", in marriage, we will have to endure and forgive each other. We will have to be patient for change in each other but more importantly we will have to recognize that the imperfections that bother us, many times God will use to work on us. So let Him! Because God also showed me that I was keeping score in my marriage but that true Love keeps no record of wrongs (1 Cor 13:5d).

So allow God to perfect your imperfections. The next time your spouse does something to get on your nerves, go before the Lord and say, "It's me Lord and I'm bothered by what my spouse is doing. Nevertheless, work on me in this area and help my spouse in their area of struggle. Deliver us both but start with me Lord so I can love them through their struggle" and watch God begin to work!

Phil 1:6, "Being confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ".

Psalm 138:8(a), "The LORD will perfect that which concerneth me..."

1 Cor 13:5 (NIV), "...(LOVE) does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs".

Gal 6:9 (NLT), "So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up".

Please share this with as MANY as you can! Thanks Fam! — with Julia Seyi Pedro and Abosede Olufunso.

https://www.facebook.com/BeTrulyFaithful/photos/a.212819528767214.53317.173463362702831/557547304294433/?type=1&comment_id=736043729778122&notif_t=like

What do we think?

The comment page was so hilarious with some guys bringing Nigerian Christianity into it (The couple is black american by the way)

The Christian God is clearly different from the Nigerian god

What type of comments did u see from Nigerians that were unchristian

pickabeau1: What type of comments did u see from Nigerians that were unchristian

I said Nigerian Christian not unchristian (two different things) besides, na that one be your concern or the OP?

Paraphrased: The wife is not submissive, a Nigerian wife cannot try that, etc.

Your thoughts on the OP

bukatyne:

I said Nigerian Christian not unchristian (two different things) besides, na that one be your concern or the OP?

Paraphrased: The wife is not submissive, a Nigerian wife cannot try that, etc.

Your thoughts on the OP

I don't believe Christianity has any variants
For anyone to say Nigerian bible or Christian etc means or connotes mixed religion. If Nigerian Christians are missing something I think a watchman should guide n show d way not seem to mock.

The op is clear...don't count how many times your brother sins against you..forgive.. Forgive..commit to the Spirit who truly convicts.

pickabeau1:

I don't believe Christianity has any variants
For anyone to say Nigerian bible or Christian etc means or connotes mixed religion. If Nigerian Christians are missing something I think a watchman should guide n show d way not seem to mock.

The op is clear...don't count how many times your brother sins against you..forgive.. Forgive..commit to the Spirit who truly convicts.

@Bolded, Nigerian Christians of the Nigerian god are not missing anything; they do not get it all. Have you read the Nigerian god article featured in Punch Column? Still searching for it

See the Authors' comment when some people will not let his wife be...

Okay..okay let me say this too: Emmanuel you too: This is entitled "The Imperfections of MARRIAGE", not the imperfections of The Wife, as you all, especially the MEN on this topic, love to bring up, "what about the wife..." or "what about the husband".... STOP IT! Take this word for the TRUTH that it is and STOP trying to turn it around on someone else! Turn this message to YOURSELF and go before God about what He can perfect in the imperfect YOU, not your spouse. Didn't you pay attention to what was said about God showing me MYSELF every time I complained to Him about my wife? Let me guess, you read half the post, got carried away and just started commenting without even reading the whole thing. How can you comment on half of a thing when you haven't read the WHOLE of a thing? You CAN'T! So PLEASE STOP, THINK FIRST, THEN MAKE YOUR COMMENT. Even if you have to REREAD the entire post, do that so you won't get on here and say all these irrelevant things that you say and get on here looking foolish. It's not a rant, it's juat the truth. Now leave my wife alone. *Arms folded* ☆PAV☆

bukatyne:

@Bolded, Nigerian Christians of the Nigerian god are not missing anything; they do not get it all. Have you read the Nigerian god article featured in Punch Column? Still searching for it

See the Authors' comment when some people will not let his wife be...

Interesting...

So Nigerian Christians don't serve God but god?

I will like to read more of this punch article

The standard is the Bible guided by the Holy Spirit

pickabeau1:

Interesting...

So Nigerian Christians don't serve God but god?

I will like to read more of this punch article

The standard is the Bible guided by the Holy Spirit

See Article below:

HOW TO WORSHIP THE NIGERIAN GOD

The Nigerian god is one. It may have many different manifestations, but it is essentially different sides of the same coin. Sometimes, adherents of the different sides may fight and kill each other. But Nigerians essentially follow the Nigerian god.

This article is for all those who want to become better worshipers. If you are a new or prospective convert, God will bless you for choosing the Nigerian god. This is just how you must worship him.

First, you must understand that being a worshiper has nothing to do with character, good works or righteousness. So the fact that you choose to open every meeting with multiple prayers does not mean that you intend to do what is right. The opening prayer is important. Nothing can work without it. If you are gathered to discuss how to inflate contracts, begin with an opening prayer or two. If you are gathered to discuss how to rig elections, begin with a prayer. The Nigerian god appreciates communication.

When you sneak away from your wife to call your girlfriend in the bathroom, and she asks if you will come this weekend, you must say—in addition to “Yes”—“By God’s grace” or “God willing”. It doesn’t matter the language you use. Just add it. The Nigerian god likes to be consulted before you do anything, including a trip to Obudu to see your lover.

When worshipping the Nigerian god, be loud. No, the Nigerian god is not hard of hearing. It is just that he appreciates your loud fervour, like he appreciates loud raucous music. The Nigerian god doesn’t care if you have neighbours and neither should you. When you are worshipping in your house, make sure the neighbours can’t sleep. Use loud speakers even if you are only two in the building. Anyone who complains must be evil. God will judge such a person.

This is how the Nigerian god judges people who are your enemies- evil people who want to spoil your hustle; like your colleagues who don’t want your promotion; like your single old aunties who secretly don’t want you to marry that rich handsome man (who you haven’t met yet); like all your neighbours who are stopping you from getting pregnant: He violently consumes them by fire. He returns all their evil plans back to sender. So when making requests about all your enemies, do not pray that they be forgiven or that they change. Pray that the Nigerian god kills them off with such violent finality that there is nothing left of them.

Attribute everything to the Nigerian god. So, if you diverted funds from public projects and are able to afford that Phantom, when people say you have a nice car, say, “Na God”. If someone asks what the secret of all your wealth is, say, “God has been good to me”. By this you mean the Nigerian god who gave you the uncommon wisdom to re-appropriate public funds.

Consult the Nigerian god when you don’t feel like working. The Nigerian god understands that we live in a harsh climate where it is hard to do any real work. So, if you have no clue how to be in charge and things start collapsing, ask people to pray to God and ask for his intervention.

The Nigerian god loves elections and politics. When you have bribed people to get the Party nomination, used thugs to steal and stuff ballot boxes, intimidated people into either sitting at home or voting for you, lied about everything from your assets to your age, and you eventually, (through God’s grace), win the elections, you must begin by declaring that your success is the wish of God and that the other candidate should accept this will of God. It is not your fault whom the Nigerian god chooses to reward with political success. How can mere mortals complain?

The Nigerian god does not tolerate disrespect. If someone insults your religion, you must look for anyone like them and kill them. Doesn’t matter what you use—sticks, machetes, grenade launchers, IED’s, AK47’s.

The Nigerian god performs signs and wonders. He does everything from cure HIV to High BP. And the Nigerian god is creative: he can teach a person who was born blind the difference between blue and green when the man of god asks, and he can teach a person born deaf instant English. As a worshipper you must let him deliver you because every case of sickness is caused by evil demons and not infections. Every case of barrenness is caused by witches and has no scientific explanation. So instead of hospital, visit agents of the Nigerian god. But the Nigerian god does not cure corruption. Do not attempt to mock him.
If you worship the Nigerian god, you are under no obligation to be nice or kind to people who are not worshippers. They deserve no courtesy.

The Nigerian god is also online. As a worshipper, you are not obliged to be good or decent on Facebook or twitter all week except on Friday and Sunday, both of which the Nigerian god marks as holy. So you may forward obscene photos, insult people, forward lewd jokes on all days except the holy days. On those holy days, whichever applies to you, put up statuses saying how much you are crazy about God.
These days, the Nigerian god also permits tweets and Facebook updates like: "Now in Church" or "This guy in front of me needs to stop dozing" when performing acts of worship.

In all, the Nigerian god is very kind and accommodating. He gives glory and riches and private jets. And if you worship him well, he will immensely bless your hustle

.


http://elnathanjohn..com/2012/07/how-to-worship-nigerian-god.html

I've read that article before...

So?

Is it today that people commit atrocities in the name of religion

It's not news..

None of what is written there is unique to any nation

What I feel Christians should focus on is exhortation to drop the sins that easily beset.
Except you also believe no christian in Nigeria serves God so we all are in the same boat

Hmmmmm....... The irony! The sadness! The self-deceits! The Nigerian god!

Nice thread you got Bukatyne.

bukatyne:

See Article below:

.


http://elnathanjohn..com/2012/07/how-to-worship-nigerian-god.html

Very Nice analysis about the Nigerian god. I sometimes wonder the god some people claim to worship. The nigerian christian religion is not exactly/purely CHRISTAIN (except for a few denominations that strictly follow bible principles). This is because african tradition is always mixed with christianity in every way in Nigeria. This is why the level of Hypocrisy is highest in Nigeria. this is why there is always this selective memory of certain scriptures in the bible while other scriptures are disregarded with the excuse that this is africa and all the laws in the bible cannot be followed. Those scriptures are only remembered when they are to be used to create sanctimonious criticisms to judge people as very common with most Nigerians. The Nigerian god loves hypocrisy. But God almighty in the Bible is totally against hypocrisy. Even jesus his son had to show his disapproval of that kind of lifestyle. Jesus totally rebuked The pharisees with the way they conducted their own way of religion. They loved to mix man-made traditions with the mosaic law. they loved to take extreme measures that don't make sense. they loved to create double standards to suit themselves as long as their man-made traditions support them. They did not exactly follow the scriptures. Jesus called them Hypocrites!! You can liken Nigerians who are hypocritical and extremely religious to the pharisees. There are a lot of similarities between the two groups. Especially the way they pray to cause noise pollution. Very similar traits i tell you. This is why i completely agree that there is a Nigerian god different from God almighty.

WONDERFUL ANALYSIS.

Sophyrocks:
Very Nice analysis about the Nigerian god. I sometimes wonder the god some people claim to worship. The nigerian christian religion is not exactly/purely CHRISTAIN (except for a few denominations that strictly follow bible principles). This is because african tradition is always mixed with christianity in every way in Nigeria. This is why the level of Hypocrisy is highest in Nigeria. this is why there is always this selective memory of certain scriptures in the bible while other scriptures are disregarded with the excuse that this is africa and all the laws in the bible cannot be followed. Those scriptures are only remembered when they are to be used to create sanctimonious criticisms to judge people as very common with most Nigerians. The Nigerian god loves hypocrisy. But God almighty in the Bible is totally against hypocrisy. Even jesus his son had to show his disapproval of that kind of lifestyle. Jesus totally rebuked The pharisees with the way they conducted their own way of religion. They loved to mix man-made traditions with the mosaic law. they loved to take extreme measures that don't make sense. they loved to create double standards to suit themselves as long as their man-made traditions support them. They did not exactly follow the scriptures. Jesus called them Hypocrites!! You can liken Nigerians who are hypocritical and extremely religious to the pharisees. There are a lot of similarities between the two groups. Especially the way they pray to cause noise pollution. Very similar traits i tell you. This is why i completely agree that there is a Nigerian god different from God almighty.

WONDERFUL ANALYSIS.

Elnathan is my hero. I love his writing.

This article speaks my mind.

The one that annoys me most is the noise.
Pastor you have a church,so god has given you permission to keep everyone else on the street awake all night because he commands us to pray without ceasing.
How about those who have to go to work the next day but can't sleep because the band and the trumpets won't let them get a wink?

And oh no don't complain. You must be a witch to get offended that other people are worshipping and raising dust at your expense.

Hmm
God is not selfish.

bukatyne:

See Article below:

.


http://elnathanjohn..com/2012/07/how-to-worship-nigerian-god.html

I don't get this 'Nigerian god' issue. Are you saying 'all Nigerians' worship this Nigerian god? Why the generalisation? Is it only Nigerians who think this way or have this 'god'? Cause I know I don't think this way,so please explain?

You guys, ummmmm how do I check a mail on naira land? Is it the normal mail mail or is there a special nairaland mail?

MissMeiya:

Elnathan is my hero. I love his writing.

Really. i am just coming across this writing for the first time and it speaks my mind. On Point.

pickabeau1:

I don't believe Christianity has any variants
For anyone to say Nigerian bible or Christian etc means or connotes mixed religion. If Nigerian Christians are missing something I think a watchman should guide n show d way not seem to mock.

The op is clear...don't count how many times your brother sins against you..forgive.. Forgive..commit to the Spirit who truly convicts.

I'm not trying to express bukatyne's point but I see where someone can be coming from when they say, 'Nigerian Christianity'.

Nigerian Christianity is influenced by paganism. The same mentality they were using to serve Amadioha, Sango, and all is the same mentality they bring to Christianity.

Nigerian Christianity promotes fear of God more than they do love of God. Nobody hammers on conviction, it's all about obeying the bible to the latter and removing any form of logic. (In most cases)

I think what you're insinuating in the highlighted is just ludacris.

There is Nigerian praise and worship, is it any less effective from praise and worship from other nationalities?? It just simply means the way Nigerians choose to worship God. It doesn't necessarily mean they are doing anything wrong. Different cultures, different languages, different society will definitely affect your religion. Even the bible is influenced by the Jewish culture.

You are lumping different things together in one sentence

Christianity as a religious framework is influenced by paganism.. Google and find out the origins of the christian festivals

Christianity as espoused by following Christ is not.


On style of praising God, that is not christianity. one may use drums, another flute.. praise is what it is... It is not christianity and does not define a nations type of christianity

Different cultures will influence a religion.. but the doctrines should be sure

Your keenness to just argue just for arguing sake is also ludacris

BananaBender:

I'm not trying to express bukatyne's point but I see where someone can be coming from when they say, 'Nigerian Christianity'.

Nigerian Christianity is influenced by paganism. The same mentality they were using to serve Amadioha, Sango, and all is the same mentality they bring to Christianity.

Nigerian Christianity promotes fear of God more than they do love of God. Nobody hammers on conviction, it's all about obeying the bible to the latter and removing any form of logic. (In most cases)

I think what you're insinuating in the highlighted is just ludacris.

There is Nigerian praise and worship, is it any less effective from praise and worship from other nationalities?? It just simply means the way Nigerians choose to worship God. It doesn't necessarily mean they are doing anything wrong. Different cultures, different languages, different society will definitely affect your religion. Even the bible is influenced by the Jewish culture.

pickabeau1: You are lumping different things together in one sentence

Christianity as a religious framework is influenced by paganism.. Google and find out the origins of the christian festivals

Christianity as espoused by following Christ is not.


On style of praising God, that is not christianity. one may use drums, another flute.. praise is what it is... It is not christianity and does not define a nations type of christianity

Different cultures will influence a religion.. but the doctrines should be sure

Lumping?? I don't even have time to address that.

@highlighted: Catholics, Baptist, Anglican, ....... they all have different doctrines and they all claim to be Christians.

WTF are you even saying??

I get irritated when I have to explain every single line.............. what is Christianity without being Christ-like?? I thought the only Christianity is the one "espoused by Christ"?

So everyone that goes to church is a Christ-follower?
Already cussing?.. Dont bother yourself if u cant express yourself without being frustrated

BananaBender:
Lumping?? I don't even have time to address that.
@highlighted: Catholics, Baptist, Anglican, ....... they all have different doctrines and they all claim to be Christians.
WTF are you even saying??
I get irritated when I have to explain every single line.............. what is Christianity without being Christ-like?? I thought the only Christianity is the one "espoused by Christ"?

pickabeau1:
Your keenness to just argue just for arguing sake is also ludacris

pinkabeau, I haven't said anything and you're already going sissy on me. Calm your jittery nerves, I don't know you dude. And what you have here is some biased bullsh1t you have carried over from maybe Shollypopz whooping your a*ss..


Let's bring it back to Nigerian Christianity, thank you or vamoose.

BananaBender:

pinkabeau, I haven't said anything and you're already going sissy on me. Calm your jittery nerves, I don't know you dude. And what you have here is some biased bullsh1t you have carried over from maybe Shollypopz whooping your a*ss..


Let's bring it back to Nigerian Christianity, thank you or vamoose.

Says the person who used ludacris first...


if you want us to discuss, lay your points.. if not vamoose also

BananaBender:
I'm not trying to express bukatyne's point but I see where someone can be coming from when they say, 'Nigerian Christianity'.
Nigerian Christianity is influenced by paganism. The same mentality they were using to serve Amadioha, Sango, and all is the same mentality they bring to Christianity.
Nigerian Christianity promotes fear of God more than they do love of God. Nobody hammers on conviction, it's all about obeying the bible to the latter and removing any form of logic. (In most cases)
I think what you're insinuating in the highlighted is just ludacris.
There is Nigerian praise and worship, is it any less effective from praise and worship from other nationalities?? It just simply means the way Nigerians choose to worship God. It doesn't necessarily mean they are doing anything wrong. Different cultures, different languages, different society will definitely affect your religion. Even the bible is influenced by the Jewish culture.

pickabeau1:
Says the person who used ludacris first...

if you want us to discuss, lay your points.. if not vamoose also

"Ludacris" hurt your feelings?? Really?? *sigh*............oh well.

I did, go back and read them and answer my questions without the sissy venom.

As i said before u lumped all your points on churchgoing, christlike life and praise...

I still dont get your point(s)

For me.. i see the blog as an expose of hypocrisy practiced by churchgoers... this is not new...but to say that that is the christianity with a nigerian tilt is sardonic

BananaBender:

"Ludacris" hurt your feelings?? Really?? *sigh*............oh well.

I did, go back and read them and answer my questions without the sissy venom.

pickabeau1: I've read that article before...

So?

Is it today that people commit atrocities in the name of religion

It's not news..

None of what is written there is unique to any nation

What I feel Christians should focus on is exhortation to drop the sins that easily beset.
Except you also believe no christian in Nigeria serves God so we all are in the same boat

Sorry I have been MIA

The issue is not the sin (we all fall once in a while), the issue is reading the Bible point blank and still been able to twist it to one's self. Can a Christian read the Bible and still claim that all men are polygamous or all men must cheat? How can a Christian maltreat her/his maid and still support with Bible verses? How can we say Holy Ghost Zone and alcohol is been sold?

When I listen to the average Christian in Nigeria, I cringe and wonder if we have our specially made Bibles. We mix Christianity + culture a lot here.

If we are serving the true God, our nation would be better than it is.

Sophyrocks: Nice thread you got Bukatyne.

Thanks.

Ok,

Please lets go back to the topic and forget Nigerian god for a while

And i understand this; however this is not unique to any nation or race or tribe

Man has always used religion to further his lust for power

Western nations became great not because of religion but industrialisation coupled with plain enforcement of laws, probity and accountability

Western nations are deemed lawful because of the punitive implications. when there is breakdown of order, looting spreeee

bukatyne:

Sorry I have been MIA

The issue is not the sin (we all fall once in a while), the issue is reading the Bible point blank and still been able to twist it to one's self. Can a Christian read the Bible and still claim that all men are polygamous or all men must cheat? How can a Christian maltreat her/his maid and still support with Bible verses? How can we say Holy Ghost Zone and alcohol is been sold?

When I listen to the average Christian in Nigeria, I cringe and wonder if we have our specially made Bibles. We mix Christianity + culture a lot here.

If we are serving the true God, our nation would be better than it is.

@bukatyne very interesting post you have here. However it seems to have been overshadowed by the more interesting post of "the Nigerian god." It would have been nice if there was a seperate thread for it so people can air their views without derailing this thread.

5minsmadness: @bukatyne very interesting post you have here. However it seems to have been overshadowed by the more interesting post of "the Nigerian god." It would have been nice if there was a seperate thread for it so people can air their views without derailing this thread.

Thanks

I would the mods if they can please hide comments about nigerian god to enable us discuss the thread

OR

Lock the thread while I create another one.

Got carried away by the nigerian god

Nice thread o jare bukatyne. Thanks for this.