pickabeau1: Thanks,... which is why i quoted the second verse which states that letting the personal flaws of someone slide by in the name of love causes more problems... wat do u think?

He whom the father loves...he chastises.....

Why should unlimited forgiveness be advocated for the hubby and constant strife tolerated for the woman contrary to the fruits of the Spirit?

Royver:

Once again, whose rule books are you using to draw the line? Where do you define your imperfections from? If your Christ was able to forgive those who crucified him, shouldn't you be able to do same as well? Is it the trivial/small things things in marriage that make a person imperfect but once it gets tough you are justified in leaving?

5minsmadness:
Rare how? Are you also saying having a good wife is also rare?
Modified... I see someone else has already addressed you on that

freshdude2: Hahahaaha. Scattered wardrobes cause family disputes? Buka, please tell me you're joking.

freshdude2: So, you're saying that women shouldn't or are under no obligation to tow the path Mr. EgoPers did?

bukatyne:

Well, a husband is called to lead his home by example.Being the head nor be for mouth, it is serious work

Wives should tow that line when necessary.

In reality, wives actually tow it more

bukatyne:


Different things put different people off

bukatyne:

He didnot pretend the problem was not there, he took it to God/God told him how to solve it.

bukatyne:

Well, a husband is called to lead his home by example.Being the head nor be for mouth, it is serious work

Wives should tow that line when necessary.

In reality, wives actually tow it more

bukatyne:
Considering the fact that a male pastor wrote about his wife's imperfection and how the Holy Spirit told him to handle it to a male audience, I quite do not get your post.

Or is this a case of seeing what we want to see as usual?

This is not about me, it's from a husband to husbands.

Let's start with you, would you pray for your cheating wife?

It is not for spouses to parade their good deeds in each other's faces. "I always apologize to you but you never apologize to me" or "I always do this but you never do that" or "At least I do this because you don't even do that"! Because what good will that do? Is that building your spouse up in their area of weakness? Is that putting your spouse above yourself? Is that doing all you can to live at peace with your spouse?

bukatyne:

God said we should forgive 70 x 7 daily and no body can beat that

It is more of knowing your partner's flaws and praying for him/her to change + grace to endure while they are changing.

If I know that my hubby will always scatter our wardrobe, it will be unwise of me to keep complaining about it: it will be better I change the way I view his scattering our wardrobe while praying for him to change.

5minsmadness:
End of discussion for me here.
A man gives an example of himself, which is what most men do most of the time out of humility; and you honestly think this article speaks to the man only?
Ooooh, is that why you brought it out?
A sort of self righteous proclamation and finger wagging against men?
Then you still haven't gotten the message.

freshdude2: I totally agree with your first paragraph still, that is not the only way to show love or deal with a difficult spouse. I assume God would not deal with all marriages the same way.

As per necessity in towing that line, one would assume that it should be towed as one is led to, no?

pickabeau1: focus should be spouse-to-spouse rather than directed to malefolk; imperfections rather than irritations.... astute observations.. Royver

Royver:
These examples you gave are inconveniences, not imperfections. Hopefully you are not going to divorce your husband because he scatters your wardrobe.


I know of two couples; the first are close to me and recently celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. I found out the man used to be a cheat and wife beater in their early years. It was the wife who changed him with patience and prayers and till today he unashamedly tells anyone who cares to listen why he will be forever indebted to her.

For the second couple the wife used to be a big spender and an alcoholic, embarrassing her husband at parties, picking fights and being lewd with men. Many a time the man would come to see our parents to complain about her. One day he was advised to look inwards that maybe he should work on himself first. I remember the shouting match that ensued between him and the elder that advised him but in the end he took it to heart. You will not know they had such a problem if you see them now. The woman is very humble and does not touch even canned star now she comes for occasions. Previously she wouldn't help in serving or any of that stuff but now she even goes into the kitchen to help with preparations. Thier marriage is close to 12years old.

bukatyne:

My apologies I was not explicit

The write up was written to men especially. The couple write to husbands/wives or both as led.

@ For imperfection or irritation, I copied exactly what the man in question wrote.

Royver:


As to your question, yes I would, without hesitation.

You seemed to have missed the point of your own sermon. The man talking is not talking as a husband to husbands, he is talking as a spouse to spouses.


See other paragraphs as well.

Take time to read the sermon again, quietly, in a place devoid of distractions. It appears now that you brought this article out thinking it was directed to men only. That is not how a marriage works and is in fact a contradiction to what your op is trying to teach you. You are still apportioning blame, pointing the finger and not realising that the other fingers are pointed back towards you,asking you to look inwards.

Marriage requires mutual understanding, mutual forgiveness. Marriage is not an exercise in fault-finding or showing you are better than your partner, that is ALWAYS a recipe for frustration and disappointment.

Marriage is a two way street, not one way. What applies to one person applies to the other, the op has simply used himself as an example which is an embodiment of humility.

Okay..okay let me say this too: Emmanuel you too: This is entitled "The Imperfections of MARRIAGE", not the imperfections of The Wife, as you all, especially the MEN on this topic, love to bring up, "what about the wife..." or "what about the husband".... STOP IT! Take this word for the TRUTH that it is and STOP trying to turn it around on someone else! Turn this message to YOURSELF and go before God about what He can perfect in the imperfect YOU, not your spouse. Didn't you pay attention to what was said about God showing me MYSELF every time I complained to Him about my wife? Let me guess, you read half the post, got carried away and just started commenting without even reading the whole thing. How can you comment on half of a thing when you haven't read the WHOLE of a thing? You CAN'T! So PLEASE STOP, THINK FIRST, THEN MAKE YOUR COMMENT. Even if you have to REREAD the entire post, do that so you won't get on here and say all these irrelevant things that you say and get on here looking foolish. It's not a rant, it's juat the truth. Now leave my wife alone. *Arms folded* ☆PAV☆

pickabeau1:

This is the opening sentence....Except spouse is another word for wife only






He said imperfection - in his case, her lack of apologies after arguments

bukatyne:

You and Royver were deciding what was imperfection and what was irritation.

bukatyne:

Just seeing this because I am replying posts in a random/ down to up manner

This article was written to men. They write to men, women and both depending on leading and topic. You just sounding like other Nigerian guys in his Facebook page. See below his comment to similar guys.

Okay..okay let me say this too: Emmanuel you too: This is entitled "The Imperfections of MARRIAGE", not the imperfections of The Wife([and conversely, of the husband. The imperfections of MARRIAGE speaks to both parties and not one person exclusively), as you all, especially the MEN on this topic(apparently on facebook the men were the aggravators, laying blame on their wives instead of looking inward to themselves as PAV was trying to point out), love to bring up, "what about the wife..." or "what about the husband".... STOP IT! Take this word for the TRUTH that it is and STOP trying to turn it around on someone else! Turn this message to YOURSELF and go before God about what He can perfect in the imperfect YOU, not your spouse(You reading the post wether you are male or female should go before God to perfect in the imperfect YOu, not your Spouse(wether your wife or husband)).

Didn't you pay attention to what was said about God showing me MYSELF every time I complained to Him about my wife? Let me guess, you read half the post, got carried away and just started commenting without even reading the whole thing. How can you comment on half of a thing when you haven't read the WHOLE of a thing? You CAN'T! So PLEASE STOP, THINK FIRST, THEN MAKE YOUR COMMENT. Even if you have to REREAD the entire post, do that so you won't get on here and say all these irrelevant things that you say and get on here looking foolish. It's not a rant, it's juat the truth. Now leave my wife alone. *Arms folded* ☆PAV☆

pickabeau1: ok.. do you think pressing toothpaste from the top as against the bottom is an imperfection or an irritation

Your example of wardrobe untidyness do you think its an irritation or an imperfection

bukatyne:

To me, I do not care where the toothpaste tube is pressed from but I care about the state of my wardrobe

pickabeau1: cool... but if say one had a spouse who consistenty ruffled the wardrobe, would you see that as an imperfection or a persistent irritation

bukatyne:

Imperfection and I am working towards accepting it

I either arrange and arrange or leave it scattered till I am tired of seeing it scattered and rearrange again

pickabeau1: ok.. interesting perspective....