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"In A Rational World, There Is No Reason A Husband Should Kill His Wife" - Family - Nairaland

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"In A Rational World, There Is No Reason A Husband Should Kill His Wife" by zboyd: 10:14am On Aug 20, 2014
Why Your US-Based Son-in-Law May Kill Your Daughter
By Rudolf Ogoo Okonkwo

I thought Olisa wanted bring to my attention another of our "This American Life" stories. But he had more to say. He knew the 63-year-old man long before he went to Nigeria to marry the 36-year-old Isioma, over ten years ago. They lived in the same neighborhood in Lowell, MA for two years after Martin came back from Nigeria with his new wife. He saw the couple at Nigerian events. Before they packed out of Massachusetts for Texas, Olisa saw signs that things were not going very well with the marriage.

When the news broke that Houston-based Nigerian man, Martin Ebegbodi shot dead his medical doctor wife, my friend, Olisa Adigwe, called me from Lowell, Massachusetts.

I thought Olisa wanted bring to my attention another of our "This American Life" stories. But he had more to say. He knew the 63-year-old man long before he went to Nigeria to marry the 36-year-old Isioma, over ten years ago. They lived in the same neighborhood in Lowell,MA for two years after Martin came back from Nigeria with his new wife. He saw the couple at Nigerian events. Before they packed out of Massachusetts for Texas, Olisa saw signs that things were not going very well with the marriage.

There is no comprehensive statistics on how many Nigerians have killed their wives in America. Our statisticians are busy scrapping cars in US junk yards for spare parts; visiting flea markets for second-hand clothes; buying nails and used tires and used laptops and stuffing them inside 40-foot containers to ship home. But if there were statistics, it would show that there is a great chance that your U.S. based in-law, that one that showed up from nowhere and said he would want to marry your daughter, would kill her in America.

Would he do it with a gun or a knife? Would he crush her with the family car, he put in reverse? Going by the aggregate of the weapons of choice, most likely he will use a knife. Nigerian men appear to prefer knives over other weapons. Recent Nigerian men who killed their wives, however, made use of guns. I guess the National Rifle Association (NRA) has reached the Nigerian kind. If your daughter and her husband live in the Southern states, like Texas, Georgia, Florida, Virginia, North and South Carolina, well, you can be sure that he will use a gun. It’s a cultural thing down South.
Yes, things are that bad. In the last ten years, if you try to put a dot on a US map for every incident where a Nigerian man killed his wife, the map would be covered by dots. If the dot is red, it would show a U.S. map that is dripping the blood of Nigerian daughters. It has happened in cities and it has happened in the suburbia. In each case, death comes as the end.

In a rational world, there is no reason a husband should kill his wife, the mother of his children. But America the beautiful is not always a rational world when you look deep into it. For instance, in America, corporations are people and guns don’t kill people. And that your daughter, the one you brought up so well, has no power to make America rational. Because her value system, the ones you imbibed in her, could not moderate America’s irrationality, they end up enhancing those irrationalities.

Your daughter may not tell you this, but the moment she got into America, she encountered a culture shock. It is like no other she has ever seen. It is steeper than what she imagined it to be. It is a total inverse of the world she used to live in. How she reacts to it will literally determine if she would stay alive or be dead.

What am I talking about? The first person that encountered that culture shock was your son-in-law. In more ways than one, America is a different world from the one he knew. His decision to come back home to find a wife is the ultimate acknowledgement of that fact. It is an escape. It is a last spirited attempt to reject the uncomfortable and embrace the familiar. The trouble is that a man who could not adapt within the new culture thinks that the solution is to bring a wife from his culture into the same alien culture. It has worked for those men who could adjust. It has not worked for those who could not.

So the odds are stacked against your daughter, right from the beginning.

You did not help matters when you failed to follow the traditional marriage due process. You waved them off because the man came from America. It didn’t matter how old he was. It didn’t matter if there was compatibility or not between him and your daughter. If he were to be living in Nigeria you may not have let him marry your daughter. I know. You just want your daughter to join those American brides. Instead of asking the normal questions about pedigree, profession, passion, you were imagining your vacation in America to visit your grandchildren and shop and show off to your friends whose daughters only married men in Lagos and Abuja.

Because there was no time for dating, your daughter was also jumping into the marriage essentially blind. She was afraid to ask too much questions. She didn’t want to find out so many things. She didn’t want to miss the chance to go and live in America. Even when she found out unpleasant truths, she waved them off. “Lets get to America first,” she said. She will work things out as soon as she got to America.

But America always has a different idea for those she lets in. It often throws a lot at its immigrants that many are lost for a long time while trying to juggle things coming their way, sometimes in silence. They are silent about it because they do not want to disappoint those at home. They do not want it to be said that they got to the river head and still are thirsty.

America is full of thirsty daughters. How the daughters decide to drink the water that will quench their thirst will determine whether their husbands will kill them or not.

Source: saharareporters.com / 08/13/2014

What do you think of this author's views?
Re: "In A Rational World, There Is No Reason A Husband Should Kill His Wife" by Allohrandy(m): 10:22am On Aug 20, 2014
All nationalities kill their wives every day. This problem is not percular to Nigerian men only

1 Like

Re: "In A Rational World, There Is No Reason A Husband Should Kill His Wife" by cococandy(f): 11:11am On Aug 20, 2014
Dem dey kill for naija here too.

1 Like

Re: "In A Rational World, There Is No Reason A Husband Should Kill His Wife" by Dreyl(m): 11:17am On Aug 20, 2014
cococandy: Dem dey kill for naija here too.
are u not in naija
Re: "In A Rational World, There Is No Reason A Husband Should Kill His Wife" by cococandy(f): 11:21am On Aug 20, 2014
Dreyl: are u not in naija
Re: "In A Rational World, There Is No Reason A Husband Should Kill His Wife" by Dreyl(m): 11:27am On Aug 20, 2014
cococandy:
talk to meee
Re: "In A Rational World, There Is No Reason A Husband Should Kill His Wife" by crackhaus: 11:37am On Aug 20, 2014
From a rational and logical perspective, this article makes no sense..It's clearly myopic and baseless.

2 Likes

Re: "In A Rational World, There Is No Reason A Husband Should Kill His Wife" by cococandy(f): 1:08pm On Aug 20, 2014
I said 'here in naija'
And you're asking me if I'm not in naija.

Which question be that na? When the answer was already in the post you quoted grin
Dreyl: talk to meee
Re: "In A Rational World, There Is No Reason A Husband Should Kill His Wife" by Dreyl(m): 1:25pm On Aug 20, 2014
cococandy: I said 'here in naija'
And you're asking me if I'm not in naija.

Which question be that na? When the answer was already in the post you quoted grin
Lol..i was just teasing tho tongue,just wanted ur attention besides U look like someone i have seen in owerri,dunno maybe i'm right tho grin
Re: "In A Rational World, There Is No Reason A Husband Should Kill His Wife" by cococandy(f): 1:55pm On Aug 20, 2014
Maybe. smiley
Dreyl: Lol..i was just teasing tho tongue,just wanted ur attention besides U look like someone i have seen in owerri,dunno maybe i'm right tho grin
Re: "In A Rational World, There Is No Reason A Husband Should Kill His Wife" by Dreyl(m): 2:31pm On Aug 20, 2014
cococandy: Maybe. smiley
you re so beautiful are you single lets mingle tonguewink
Re: "In A Rational World, There Is No Reason A Husband Should Kill His Wife" by cococandy(f): 2:44pm On Aug 20, 2014
thank you. smiley

no i'm married.
Dreyl: you re so beautiful are you single lets mingle tonguewink
Re: "In A Rational World, There Is No Reason A Husband Should Kill His Wife" by Pavore9: 2:50pm On Aug 20, 2014
Dreyl: you re so beautiful are you single lets mingle tonguewink
#coughing....
Re: "In A Rational World, There Is No Reason A Husband Should Kill His Wife" by Dreyl(m): 2:50pm On Aug 20, 2014
cococandy: thank you. smiley

no i'm married.
jeeez!!! shocked Ok babe do u mind taking me as ur side nigga i don't mind tho smiley
Re: "In A Rational World, There Is No Reason A Husband Should Kill His Wife" by Dreyl(m): 2:53pm On Aug 20, 2014
Pavore9: #coughing....
guy this one that you are coughing,i hope it's not Ebola o grin
Re: "In A Rational World, There Is No Reason A Husband Should Kill His Wife" by Pavore9: 2:54pm On Aug 20, 2014
You have mentally twisted people all over the world, evil is not resident in a particular people or geographical location!
Re: "In A Rational World, There Is No Reason A Husband Should Kill His Wife" by cococandy(f): 3:29pm On Aug 20, 2014
It seems like your ancestors are beckoning on you grin cheesy
Dreyl: jeeez!!! shocked Ok babe do u mind taking me as ur side nigga i don't mind tho smiley
Re: "In A Rational World, There Is No Reason A Husband Should Kill His Wife" by Pavore9: 3:56pm On Aug 20, 2014
Dreyl: guy this one that you are coughing,i hope it's not Ebola o grin
Ebola? well e neva reach Nairobi! Chatting up cococandy....wishing you GOODLUCK just exercise PATIENCE!
Re: "In A Rational World, There Is No Reason A Husband Should Kill His Wife" by Dreyl(m): 3:59pm On Aug 20, 2014
cococandy: It seems like your ancestors are beckoning on you grin cheesy
hahahahaha forget that bae,i'm goin to do anything for you,well if u don't want me as ur side nigga then take me as your companion i'm ok with that tongue grin
Re: "In A Rational World, There Is No Reason A Husband Should Kill His Wife" by cococandy(f): 4:11pm On Aug 20, 2014
Compa what?
Nna hapum aka joor angry

Shey na me u dey carry do afternoon comedy huh?
Dreyl: hahahahaha forget that bae,i'm goin to do anything for you,well if u don't want me as ur side nigga then take me as your companion i'm ok with that tongue grin
Re: "In A Rational World, There Is No Reason A Husband Should Kill His Wife" by Dreyl(m): 4:11pm On Aug 20, 2014
Pavore9: Ebola? well e neva reach Nairobi! Chatting up cococandy....wishing you GOODLUCK just exercise PATIENCE!
i'm not that lucky bro,unfortunately she's a married lady and i just have to keep searching for a lady that has that kind of pulchritude beauty that she possess, smiley anyway i taught u base in lasgidi,how's the hot sun in Nairobi grin
Re: "In A Rational World, There Is No Reason A Husband Should Kill His Wife" by Dreyl(m): 4:19pm On Aug 20, 2014
cococandy: Compa what?
Nna hapum aka joor angry

Shey na me u dey carry do afternoon comedy huh?
Nne biko lets be friends,i will really like to knw you more tonguewink
Re: "In A Rational World, There Is No Reason A Husband Should Kill His Wife" by Pavore9: 5:10pm On Aug 20, 2014
@Dreyl, weather is cold since the last 3months especially early mornings & evenings as low as 7 degrees! sha l dey eat my peppersoup and hot okpa regularly to chase away cold!
Re: "In A Rational World, There Is No Reason A Husband Should Kill His Wife" by Dreyl(m): 6:01pm On Aug 20, 2014
Pavore9: @Dreyl, weather is cold since the last 3months especially early mornings & evenings as low as 7 degrees! sha l dey eat my peppersoup and hot okpa regularly to chase away cold!
hahahahaha nothing do you boss cheesy
@cococandy where re you

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